I don’t mean to brag, but I’m actually
closer to being a millionaire than Elon Musk

After careful consideration and long deliberation, I have come to the conclusion that there is absolutely no reason to behave in a manner appropriate for my age.

After this long, hard, and exhausting day on my sofa, I'm really looking forward to my bed

Be grateful for closed doors, failed relationships, shattered dreams, and things that didn't work out.
They saved you from what wasn't meant for you.

I bet he’d be really glad right now if he had a cap with a peak!

A few too many kilos on the bones?
Maybe nature is just trying to tell me:
“you’re so beautiful. I’d just like to give you a little more.”

Organ Donation Day.
A truly important cause.

It’s just a shame that people can’t donate
brains, backbone and decency.

There’s a need for those in some quarters too.

شماره تماس

All you need in life is a little trust, a little courage, a heart full of love, and French fries.

Do you believe that life after death is beautiful?

That depends entirely on who dies!

How I managed to get invited to Germany's Next Top Model competitions.

- You are our favorite patient today.
- Because I'm so nice?
- Because you haven't rung the call button for 20 minutes.

- I was at the seminar on kleptomania
- And?
- I took a lot with me!

Memo to myself:

If you've borrowed a friend's bike, the light is broken, and you get pulled over by the police, "This is not my bike" is not the right answer.

- I'm telling you, marry that guy!
- But he has red hair.
- Six months with you and he'll have gray hair.

- I'm going to the hairdresser's today.
- Oh, are you having your hair cut?
- No, just for a check-up.’

Mondays wouldn’t be so rubbish, if they came at the end of the week!

My wife claims she drives better than I do, but you can't fool a dog