boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job.
panel changes to office building.
dilbert: what if he isn't helpful?
boss: then i'll fire you for failing.
panel changes back in office:
dilbert: do you see any…

dilbert: i feel a deep need to belittle your opinion, but it would be awkward doing it in person. would you mind moving away from me so i can email you my insult?
dilbert in hall by himself.
dilbert: a little more....

dogbert: i'm going into the inspirational poster business. so far, all i have is "nothing matters because you're going to die anyway."
dilbert: that's not good.
dogbert: it's easy to criticize a first draft.

dilbert: i'm working two jobs since ted quit. maybe you could fire a replacement for ted.
boss: that won't work because you're too busy to train a new person.
panel changes building.
voice from building: stop making that death stare and get back to your…

in meeting room.
dogbert: i invented a device that can detect losers.
boss: how do i know if it's accurate?
dogbert: point it at a know loser and see if it pings.
boss pointing it at employees:
boss: hey! it knows ted is a loser!
ha ha ha!!! it…

boss: the best part of having a remote workforce is firing them by text.
boss typing on smartphone.
Boss: ted, you're fired. tap tap tap.
catbert: it's done?
boss: no, i also need to give a thumbs-up to his crying face emoji.

alice: welcome to our first zoom lunch meeting. if you chew louder than a beaver making a dam out of bubble wrap, please turn off your microphone. and if you are an ugly eater...
voice from laptop: we get it. turn the video off.

boss: can you redesign it so the power button is on the bottom?
engineer: absolutely. our professional design team loves it when inexperienced people make suggestions.
boss: i can't tell if you're mocking me.
engineer: no, you can't.

The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animation, mashups and more starring Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, The Pointy Haired Boss, Alice, Asok, Dogberts New Ruling Class and more.

The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animation, mashups and more starring Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, The Pointy Haired Boss, Alice, Asok, Dogberts New Ruling Class and more.

Tina: why didn't you tell me you canceled the meeting?!!
dilbert: i did.
Tina: you absolutely did not. i would certainly remember if you did.
dilbert: here are the text messages when i told you i canceled the meeting and you conformed.
Alice in a daze.…

The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animation, mashups and more starring Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, The Pointy Haired Boss, Alice, Asok, Dogberts New Ruling Class and more.

dilbert: there's a mob of woke people surrounding our building. they demand a human sacrifice.
boss: fetch the spare racist i hired for that purpose.
male co-worker hanging from a rod outside top level of office tower: i'm not a racist! really i'm not!…

The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animation, mashups and more starring Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, The Pointy Haired Boss, Alice, Asok, Dogberts New Ruling Class and more.

The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animation, mashups and more starring Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, The Pointy Haired Boss, Alice, Asok, Dogberts New Ruling Class and more.

The Official Dilbert Website featuring Scott Adams Dilbert strips, animation, mashups and more starring Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, The Pointy Haired Boss, Alice, Asok, Dogberts New Ruling Class and more.