Welcome to our telegram channel for couples! It is a newly created channel and I will be dropping a link later to the group we will be interacting from. You can bring in your spouse so that you can also share your views together. I will take few days so that others can join us. Thank you for joining us

Good morning everyone!
Sorry it took me a long time to get to you all but this is very important to me, so I have to take my time to prepare

Today, I will do an introductory topic about marriage as a unit, then I would drop the link to our interaction group for us to go and discuss our ideas together

Every family has a purpose and most of the root causes of broken homes is ignorance. We get into marriages for the wrong reasons, not just because we are not compatible.

Every family has their own unique purpose (Eve in the Bible was tempted to corrupt their union due to boredom). Human needs are insatiable, so when we make our lives a routine, we soon get tired as their is no satisfaction derived from it.
Some people married just to have children, after children, what next? Some married for sex, when your partner is not up to it, what will you do? Some married for companionship, when your partner is not giving you the needed encouragement, what will you do?
These are basic underlying causes of failed marriages that are dressed in so many forms to the world. I love treating root causes, not just issues because the issues will take another form after treating one issue. We should all figure out the real purpose for our union so that our marriages can have a great anchor.

https://t.me/joinchat/8nOAgV5f_0swMjA0
this is the link to our interaction group. I don't know your purpose for being here, but I believe it would be beneficial to us all. Thank you once again

Giving your spouse peace of mind at home should not come from the fear of losing them. There was once we had a great misunderstanding at home and my husband was trying to reach me, he did everything he could to get me to understand but I couldn't just get to that level. He then thought of threatening me with divorce(to which he apologized later). Yes, it shook me, but not for the reason he thought. I don't have fear of losing anybody, I rely on God so much that nothing shakes me, I just didn't want to see him carry all those hurt within him. I loved him more than the divorce, I didn't care if he would leave or stay and I wouldn't have influenced his decision if I believed that it would give him peace of mind. I knew that he didn't mean it but I put in the work because I wanted to be the best for myself, for him, for our children, and our family. When your actions towards your spouse are motivated by fear, there won't be sincerity and eventually, when you overcome that fear, there won't be any form of motivation to keep it going. This is why I am particular about the foundational reason for your union. These fears are what make people keep quiet when they are supposed to speak out. I have no fear at all inside of me, that's how much I trust God not man. That's why I come out every day to talk about simple issues that cause serious consequences in marriage. It is a sacred union created by God for something more beautiful than giving birth to children! 'Be fruitful! Multiply! Replenish the Earth and subdue it!' I will analyze this later

My dream is to be able to reach out to homes that are built solidly on love and the real essence of marriage, that would be too strong for any foreign thing to penetrate. If you have your objectives right, you will view issues as challenges or distractions, and when they are sorted out, they will eventually make you stronger

Before we got married, my husband took me to see his pastor for counseling and his pastor opened the scriptures; Ephesians 5: 25- 33

I will analyze it bit by bit because I know that this scripture has guided us till today

From verse 25;
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:25 - 33 KJV

Before I start, I just want us to take some time and meditate on these scriptures. It doesn't matter your religion, this is just a standard manual for homes. I will also spend time talking about this passage in series because there is a lot to learn from here

Before I go to the topic of the day, I would love us to reflect on this; 'how much have you grown since you got married?'

Before I got married, I know I was beautiful but let me say my beauty was hidden. I wasn't self-confident in my looks, I lacked coordination and I was often almost always confused. I only found solace in the Bible at times, with no sense of direction. I only had my good heart to go by, nothing else. I remember one day my dad sat me down and told me that I had no achievement whatsoever. The low self-esteem was dripping out of me. Yes, I was struggling but there was no support and didn't even know what I needed but God knew. When I met my husband, he gave me a sense of direction. He was there watching me fail over and over again without mocking me, rather he was my greatest fan. He valued me above everything else and was constantly promoting me, to him, I was the most beautiful being in the world and soon, everyone started seeing me. I became visible because his love gave me a boost to my self esteem

What am I saying? Look at the first two verses; talking about loving your wife and giving yourself for her that you might sanctify, and cleanse her with water and by the word. After building yourselves in love, you can then present her without blemish. Oga will look at me today and say; 'my wife is so beautiful, so pure, so lovely' it is actually part of his handwork because he is invested in my life. You can't do that when your attention is divided. In most homes you see that are faithful to each other, you will surely see the couple glowing. There will be a particular air around them that will tell you how healthy and happy their relationship is. It takes deliberate efforts to achieve that level of sanctification and it also takes cooperation. Not every church is sanctified, cleansed and glorious, if not we would have been seeing more results in our society today, this is because there is need for cooperation

You see these words 'likewise' and reverence? They can't be separated. As you cleanse and love your wife, she needs to not just love you, she needs to reverence you, respect you. She needs to cooperate with you while you build each other, you can't get any fruit if you don't sow any seed. You can't expect to reap where you haven't sowed. Some men are waiting to receive respect when they have not honored and loved their wives. Love creates a value system, when you love the right person, you will appreciate love very much. When we follow God's direction in our homes, the results are always outstanding

Greetings everyone! Happy New Year! I am very sorry for the long silence. I decided to take my time and properly draft out organized topics using real-life issues both in my homes and homes of couples too that will be more beneficial so that when we resume, there won't be any more silence from me.
I will be taking the whole of this month to properly pray and meditate along with putting myself together and will start from the first week of next month fully. Meanwhile, if you have anything you need my help with, you can private chat me and I will respond. I know that this year will bring in great results. Welcome to the new year

Infidelity and domestic violence in marriage have been the two major focuses of awareness when it comes to happy marriages.
We have watched homes grown cold and families living a lie and even crumpling at the very end.

I will talk about some silent killers of peace in the home and these are;
1.Superiority complex -some men/women look down on their spouse, they draw a line between the duties of married couples and confidants, they don't value the opinions of their spouse but they just hide their condescending attitudes so well that you can't just pin a finger at it but you just see that both of you are slowing growing into strangers. As you keep falling short of topics to communicate on, you finally start living together mechanically.

2. Lack of trust -effective communication between spouses could be destroyed because of lack of trust. You don't trust your partners enough to disclose certain information to them because you perceive that they are not matured enough to handle them,Like a husband who married a materialistic wife afraid of disclosing his worth because the moment she knows, a need is manufactured. There are so many issues I would be talking about subsequently, but I will stop here for today.

Communication is one of the main essential ingredients for a successful home.