Ughhhhhhh

The silence after you revisit that place filled with so many memories, but none of the people are there anymore. :)

I don’t want your love.
I want your chaos.
The part of you that thinks about me in silence,
with clenched fists and a filthy mind.

I want the version of you that dreams of ruin,
the one who’d rather bite than kiss,
the one who’d rip me open just to see if I bleed for you.

I gave you my heart,
and you fed it to your demons like it was nothing.
But I smiled—because I’d already carved your name into mine.

This isn’t romance.
This is hunger.
This is obsession wearing perfume and whispering lies in the dark.
I don’t want “forever”—
I want to be your worst habit,
the ache in your chest that never fades.

Tie me to your nightmares,
kiss me like it’s a warning,
and break me beautifully.

Because I am not here to be loved.
I am here to be consumed.

And darling, if your love kills me— make it hurt.

I want to be the only one who can read the sacred scripture of her soul, decoding every secret line that no one else even knows exists.
I want to rot in the depth of her memory like a sweet ache, a shadow that lingers, impossible to forget or escape.
Her smile isn’t just a curve -it’s a wildfire, blazing so fiercely it could burn down the whole world, just to keep my hand warm in its flames.
And maybe, just maybe, in that fire, I will find something darker, something raw, something only I will ever know...

I want to be ache in her blood,
the sweet fever behind her eyes—
let me be the thorn she kisses in sleep,
and the bruise she dreams like a lullaby.

I want to haunt her skin like fire,
slow-burning down every breath she hides.
Not love—no, love is far too kind.
I want to be the madness she romanticizes.

Let me be the echo inside her ribs,
the pulse she feels when there's no music.
Let me kiss her until time forgets
why it ever bothered moving forward.

I'd write her name across the moon,
just to watch the stars fall jealous.
She is the storm that taught me silence,
and I am the howl begging to be devoured.

Let me shatter into her every heartbeat.
Let me drown where her sorrow begins.
If she opened my chest, she'd find only her name carved into the dark.

I want to be ruined in her garden, the beautiful mess she keeps watering in secret.
If loving her means forgetting who I am, then let me disappear—smiling, as long as she’s the reason.

I live in those moments,
They pause between two words they say.
"You've always been the bright child"
The sentence tears me in every way.
I spend my night thinking when did it change
Was it the last exam I gave?
Or the first position I could'nt save
Mom doesn't compliment my handwriting now
My dad hates the way I answer back
So I stay numb under their expectations
With just regrets of all the qualities I lack
I don't make them happy anymore
When did I move so off the track
I have changed a lot they told me last night
But all I do is somehow not right
My life flashes before me I was a gem
I am a stone now, not at all bright.

She’s miles away, and still, she lives in my head like she pays rent in my heartbeat.
I haven’t shown her much. Haven’t said all the things I want to.
Mostly because I don’t know if she feels it too.
But damn—something about her makes silence feel like a conversation.

She never said be mine.
But God, I wish she would.
Even once.
Soft, drunk, half-smiling—I’d take it.
I'd believe it like a prayer only we could understand.

I think about showing her everything.
The good, the broken, the honest parts.
Just to see if she’d stay.
Just to see if she’d smile like it’s not too much.
Like maybe she already knew.

I don’t want perfect.
I want her.
Even if it’s reckless.
Even if it hurts.
Even if I’m wrong.

And maybe this is all in my head just some delusion I dressed up as fate.
But if it is?
Let me keep it.
Because nothing’s ever felt more real
than the hope that maybe just maybe she wants me too.

If anyone likes to read the novel, they can read it here. On the webnovel. This story is written by me.

A flower bright in morning’s care,
Its fragrance drifted through the air.
But darkness spread its heavy veil,
And shadows pressed on every side,
The bloom grew weak, its colors died.

A bulb glimmered in the dark,
A fleeting, tiny, hopeful spark.
It led the flower through the night,
It swore to guide, to make it grow,
But left it weak, its colors low.

Then moonlight came, soft and pale,
It touched the bloom like gentle hail.
The flower bent, unsure of trust,
It slipped away, unsure, withdrawn,
The flower shivered, hope still drawn.

Fire blazed near, the petals shook,
Its trembling heart refused to look.
Yet the flower leaned in, and welcomed flame.
Its petals burned, yet could not fly,
For when it fled, the flames would die.

The fire’s blaze left the bloom in pain,
It’s cruel touch a constant chain.
A light returned, soft and pale,
It touched the bloom, eased fear,
Fire came back, but could not tear.

Can someone's daughter please walk in my life and break my heart. 

I don’t need just anyone’s daughter… I need the type that’ll ruin my playlist with her favorite songs.

Looking for someone’s daughter who laughs at my jokes and then blocks me for no reason

Looking for someone’s daughter who’ll ruin my sleep schedule.

I don’t want forever, I want "sorry he’s mine" vibes.