Asexuals with OCD, does it happen that your OCD would latch onto your attraction? If so, which one?
Ok sooo, i struggle with intrusive thoughts and tbh, it sucks. And it has gotten worse for around three days and i can’t stand it anymore
So, it might be a long story since i have to mention details to make sure people don’t misunderstand what i am saying. Bc it happens, sooo yep
Anyways, i struggle with sexual intrusive thoughts, like i said before, it sucks
And this has developped when i found out that i mistaken sexual attraction with aesthetic/sensual and when i found out about asexuality
Before those thoughts, i have assumed that sexual attraction meant finding someone pretty or admiring.
I have heard ppl on social media or around me playing smash or pass. I used to think they were joking on wanting to smash the characters. And even thought that people who wanted to be sexual with someone was something that you would see in fiction.( yes…i thought sexual attraction was just in movies )
But yet, i used to think i felt it since everyone did. But i didn’t find other ppl sexually appealing, neither my crushes.
I didn’t care about it ofc until i found out about asexuality.
I noticed that it resembled me alot but them i went ‘’ well, i wouldn’t be that, this is about them not feeling sexual attraction. I feel it ‘’
….i just took my words back right after someone mentioned that sexual attraction was not just ‘’ finding someone pretty ‘’, it was more than that.
Now, this is when i realized that i might have been asexual
( this kind of caused me to try and make myself feel sexual attraction after finding out. Idk why, but after finding out about how sexual attraction ACTUALLY is, my brain kind of latched onto it and i thought ‘’ Hm, since people feel this, it means i should ‘’ so i kind of conditioned myself to feel like how everyone felt even though it didn’t felt enjoyable nor desirable )
But here is the thing. Right after finding out about asexuality, this is where i thought of searching about it
But what i found was something else when searching it. I found a lot is stories about how women who used to think they were ace are actually sexually repressed and then using asexuality in a way to deny it
Or just straight up people saying how asexuals should not have any dirty mind, thoughts and that they should not understand sex.
Prettymuch infantilizing them
And this is where i developped sexual intrusive thoughts ( and symptoms that is similar to OCD ). I kept having unwanted sexual intrusive thoughts that kept popping up in my head and made them insufferable.
Especially when it came to how i am attracted to others. I experience aesthetic and sensual attraction to others. Sensual attraction is the attraction that i feel the strongest.
For sensual attraction, this was when i realized that i have not felt sexual attraction my entire Life. Because my enviorment would used to ( and still ) sexualize gentle touches, kisses and anything related to that.
They talked about being sexual because these acts leads to sexual acts
Which also developped intrusive thoughts.
So anytime when i see someone and go ‘’ oh, they are so pretty! ‘’
My brain would imediately shove intrusive images in my head that i don’t enjoy and then go ‘’ it means you want to have sex with them ‘’
And what i do ofc, is that i would disagree with the thought, because this is not what it came to mind, but anytime i say that, my brain would go ‘’ you are just saying that to try to unconsciously repress sexual attraction and then deny it by forcing yourself onto labels ‘’
Or just straight up saying ‘’ if you want to hug this person it means you want to lead it to sex and you know that. And if you disagree it means that you are trying to repress sexual attraction to them and deny it ‘’
Which makes it worse because i don’t want to repress sexual attraction. This is something that i would not do and won’t do at all. This is something that is against. My morals. Why? Because i know that when you repress feelings that are normal, it can cause you
Ok sooo, i struggle with intrusive thoughts and tbh, it sucks. And it has gotten worse for around three days and i can’t stand it anymore
So, it might be a long story since i have to mention details to make sure people don’t misunderstand what i am saying. Bc it happens, sooo yep
Anyways, i struggle with sexual intrusive thoughts, like i said before, it sucks
And this has developped when i found out that i mistaken sexual attraction with aesthetic/sensual and when i found out about asexuality
Before those thoughts, i have assumed that sexual attraction meant finding someone pretty or admiring.
I have heard ppl on social media or around me playing smash or pass. I used to think they were joking on wanting to smash the characters. And even thought that people who wanted to be sexual with someone was something that you would see in fiction.( yes…i thought sexual attraction was just in movies )
But yet, i used to think i felt it since everyone did. But i didn’t find other ppl sexually appealing, neither my crushes.
I didn’t care about it ofc until i found out about asexuality.
I noticed that it resembled me alot but them i went ‘’ well, i wouldn’t be that, this is about them not feeling sexual attraction. I feel it ‘’
….i just took my words back right after someone mentioned that sexual attraction was not just ‘’ finding someone pretty ‘’, it was more than that.
Now, this is when i realized that i might have been asexual
( this kind of caused me to try and make myself feel sexual attraction after finding out. Idk why, but after finding out about how sexual attraction ACTUALLY is, my brain kind of latched onto it and i thought ‘’ Hm, since people feel this, it means i should ‘’ so i kind of conditioned myself to feel like how everyone felt even though it didn’t felt enjoyable nor desirable )
But here is the thing. Right after finding out about asexuality, this is where i thought of searching about it
But what i found was something else when searching it. I found a lot is stories about how women who used to think they were ace are actually sexually repressed and then using asexuality in a way to deny it
Or just straight up people saying how asexuals should not have any dirty mind, thoughts and that they should not understand sex.
Prettymuch infantilizing them
And this is where i developped sexual intrusive thoughts ( and symptoms that is similar to OCD ). I kept having unwanted sexual intrusive thoughts that kept popping up in my head and made them insufferable.
Especially when it came to how i am attracted to others. I experience aesthetic and sensual attraction to others. Sensual attraction is the attraction that i feel the strongest.
For sensual attraction, this was when i realized that i have not felt sexual attraction my entire Life. Because my enviorment would used to ( and still ) sexualize gentle touches, kisses and anything related to that.
They talked about being sexual because these acts leads to sexual acts
Which also developped intrusive thoughts.
So anytime when i see someone and go ‘’ oh, they are so pretty! ‘’
My brain would imediately shove intrusive images in my head that i don’t enjoy and then go ‘’ it means you want to have sex with them ‘’
And what i do ofc, is that i would disagree with the thought, because this is not what it came to mind, but anytime i say that, my brain would go ‘’ you are just saying that to try to unconsciously repress sexual attraction and then deny it by forcing yourself onto labels ‘’
Or just straight up saying ‘’ if you want to hug this person it means you want to lead it to sex and you know that. And if you disagree it means that you are trying to repress sexual attraction to them and deny it ‘’
Which makes it worse because i don’t want to repress sexual attraction. This is something that i would not do and won’t do at all. This is something that is against. My morals. Why? Because i know that when you repress feelings that are normal, it can cause you
to think they are bad and that you should feel guilty for having them. This is something that i don’t think. I know sexual attraction is something normal. I now know people feel that way towards others, and i know it is normal to feel. Even though i don’t know how it feels exactly, i still know that it is normal. It is called having empathy.
It’s like how everyone in this world loves chocolate. You don’t like chocotale, you don’t get why people like it but you know it is okay to like it yk. You know it is normal and you don’t judge it
But i still get afraid of somehow repressing sexual attraction because those intrusive thoughts feel real and convincing to a point that i am genuinely afraid of doing something bad to myself somehow
Mind you, i don’t use the asexual label on myself because of that. Tbh i do feel ace but i don’t want to label myself as one because of that
But because of these unwanted thoughts and OCD latching onto my attractions and then saying that i am ‘’ repressing sexual attraction by calling them other attractions to deny my real attractions ‘’ makes it insufferable
Idk how sexual attraction feels. But anytime i say that. My brain goes ‘’ what if you do know how it feels and that you are just saying that you don’t know how it feels to repress your sexual feelings for others ‘’
This is genuinely hell, because all of that happened when i found out that there is a label that aligned with my experience….
Idk if it is my brain being aphobic/OCD problems or if it is trying to tell me something and that i am actually repressing sexual attraction ( which i don’t want to do that )
So yeah, my Life sucks. It kept relapsing for three days and it sucks. I hate talking about this, but i genuinely feel like i am the only one who experience this hell-like problem. And i dont’ want to feel alone on that.
So is there anyone who has OCD that latches onto your attractions? And if so, which one? I would like to know!
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It’s like how everyone in this world loves chocolate. You don’t like chocotale, you don’t get why people like it but you know it is okay to like it yk. You know it is normal and you don’t judge it
But i still get afraid of somehow repressing sexual attraction because those intrusive thoughts feel real and convincing to a point that i am genuinely afraid of doing something bad to myself somehow
Mind you, i don’t use the asexual label on myself because of that. Tbh i do feel ace but i don’t want to label myself as one because of that
But because of these unwanted thoughts and OCD latching onto my attractions and then saying that i am ‘’ repressing sexual attraction by calling them other attractions to deny my real attractions ‘’ makes it insufferable
Idk how sexual attraction feels. But anytime i say that. My brain goes ‘’ what if you do know how it feels and that you are just saying that you don’t know how it feels to repress your sexual feelings for others ‘’
This is genuinely hell, because all of that happened when i found out that there is a label that aligned with my experience….
Idk if it is my brain being aphobic/OCD problems or if it is trying to tell me something and that i am actually repressing sexual attraction ( which i don’t want to do that )
So yeah, my Life sucks. It kept relapsing for three days and it sucks. I hate talking about this, but i genuinely feel like i am the only one who experience this hell-like problem. And i dont’ want to feel alone on that.
So is there anyone who has OCD that latches onto your attractions? And if so, which one? I would like to know!
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The way these memes call me out for the music I occasionally enjoy! 🤣
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From the asexuality community on Reddit: The way these memes call me out for the music I occasionally enjoy! 🤣
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My 48 year old dad came out as demisexual today I’m super happy for him ?
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Is there a word for this
what’s it called when you have a high libido and have no problem imagining receiving sexual acts but rarely actually want to have sex with someone and rarely ever feel attracted to someone irl?
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what’s it called when you have a high libido and have no problem imagining receiving sexual acts but rarely actually want to have sex with someone and rarely ever feel attracted to someone irl?
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I get asked daily if I'm asexual
I'm learning about things about myself since I always get asked this question.
I would always reply with "I don't know" because I wasn't educated on asexuality. I have always thought of myself as someone who doesn't think about sex.
The thing is I find people attractive as a bisexual woman, it's just sex that I'm not into but it gets confusing because I can see myself being intimate with a romantic partner or with someone I'm attracted to.
I like doing everything except the thought of taking off clothes. I'm huge on intimacy like I love cuddling, touching bodies, holding someone, even sharing a bed with someone with our skin touching.
I mean literally everything that is deemed intimacy except the taking your clothes off part. I get turned off when people do that, but I still find sex attractive.
It is all new to me and I'm not sure if I'm asexual like people assume because of my thoughts about sex and how I feel about it, or if I am just someone who doesn't care much about sex. I used to think that maybe it was me having a low libido and that could explain why sex is the last thing on my mind. But I'm not sure anymore.
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I'm learning about things about myself since I always get asked this question.
I would always reply with "I don't know" because I wasn't educated on asexuality. I have always thought of myself as someone who doesn't think about sex.
The thing is I find people attractive as a bisexual woman, it's just sex that I'm not into but it gets confusing because I can see myself being intimate with a romantic partner or with someone I'm attracted to.
I like doing everything except the thought of taking off clothes. I'm huge on intimacy like I love cuddling, touching bodies, holding someone, even sharing a bed with someone with our skin touching.
I mean literally everything that is deemed intimacy except the taking your clothes off part. I get turned off when people do that, but I still find sex attractive.
It is all new to me and I'm not sure if I'm asexual like people assume because of my thoughts about sex and how I feel about it, or if I am just someone who doesn't care much about sex. I used to think that maybe it was me having a low libido and that could explain why sex is the last thing on my mind. But I'm not sure anymore.
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wold you agree
I think I know now atleast for me it is if you would do special things (for example hug) with this person and with no other. but with this definition I never fell in love with everyone so my defenition can be wrong and/or I´m aro. (I would hug most my friends if hey would be okay)
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I think I know now atleast for me it is if you would do special things (for example hug) with this person and with no other. but with this definition I never fell in love with everyone so my defenition can be wrong and/or I´m aro. (I would hug most my friends if hey would be okay)
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I have a confession
I thought I was ace/biromantic, but it turns out I’m just Aegoaroace because the more I see people in relationships, the more I realize that I can not see myself in a relationship with people, and that’s okay. I’d rather just write my cheesy fanfics and live vicariously through other people 🙃
That’s all. I just wanted to get that off my chest since I finally accepted it.
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I thought I was ace/biromantic, but it turns out I’m just Aegoaroace because the more I see people in relationships, the more I realize that I can not see myself in a relationship with people, and that’s okay. I’d rather just write my cheesy fanfics and live vicariously through other people 🙃
That’s all. I just wanted to get that off my chest since I finally accepted it.
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Friend won’t stop asking to do sexual things and keeps disrespecting my choice to stay away (TW for sexual content/SA)
I don’t want to get into too many details, or my personal history, so I’ll try to stick to the basics. I’m also quite emotional right now and might struggle to be coherent so please forgive me in advance.
I’m a 22 year old male, and have been with both women and men before. I don’t like doing sexual things, especially after being assaulted in the past, but it’s not impossible for me.
Anyway, there’s a particular friend I made recently, and grew close with. Things were normal and chill, but I noticed he occasionally seemed a little weird around me, but nothing more.
One night we’re having a very sensitive conversation, and are sharing deep and personal things about ourselves. And for some reason, I made the stupid decision to give in to my feelings in the moment and sleep with him.
I don’t know why I did. I felt vulnerable, and I knew the next day that it was a mistake and crossed a line. I expressed this to him, and made sure to mention that it wasn’t anything he did wrong, it was just me. Cliche, but true.
He accepted and understood, and it’s been a month since. But since then, every so often, he’ll ask if we can have sex again. Or he’ll make a comment about something sexual we did. Or mention how I’m probably not ‘really ace’. And no amount of protest makes him stop.
Sure he stops in the moment, but the next day, he’ll make another comment or even ask again.
He’s not the type to assault someone (I don’t think) but it reminds me of the behavior of my abuser, and I don’t like thinking about them.
I hate this. I hate when people can’t take no for an answer.
Am I not allowed to say no? Am I not allowed to control what I do with my body? Am I not allowed to take time to figure myself out?
I just really need support and advice. I care about him, and he’s a good person, but maybe I’m just not communicating right. Please help. :(
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@asexualityonreddit
I don’t want to get into too many details, or my personal history, so I’ll try to stick to the basics. I’m also quite emotional right now and might struggle to be coherent so please forgive me in advance.
I’m a 22 year old male, and have been with both women and men before. I don’t like doing sexual things, especially after being assaulted in the past, but it’s not impossible for me.
Anyway, there’s a particular friend I made recently, and grew close with. Things were normal and chill, but I noticed he occasionally seemed a little weird around me, but nothing more.
One night we’re having a very sensitive conversation, and are sharing deep and personal things about ourselves. And for some reason, I made the stupid decision to give in to my feelings in the moment and sleep with him.
I don’t know why I did. I felt vulnerable, and I knew the next day that it was a mistake and crossed a line. I expressed this to him, and made sure to mention that it wasn’t anything he did wrong, it was just me. Cliche, but true.
He accepted and understood, and it’s been a month since. But since then, every so often, he’ll ask if we can have sex again. Or he’ll make a comment about something sexual we did. Or mention how I’m probably not ‘really ace’. And no amount of protest makes him stop.
Sure he stops in the moment, but the next day, he’ll make another comment or even ask again.
He’s not the type to assault someone (I don’t think) but it reminds me of the behavior of my abuser, and I don’t like thinking about them.
I hate this. I hate when people can’t take no for an answer.
Am I not allowed to say no? Am I not allowed to control what I do with my body? Am I not allowed to take time to figure myself out?
I just really need support and advice. I care about him, and he’s a good person, but maybe I’m just not communicating right. Please help. :(
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People throwing “I turned ace” casually on tiktok without even knowing what that is
I am really tired of going on tiktok and seeing the “my bf was stupid and made me go asexual”, “I finally decentered men and nearly turned asexual in the process”.
You cannot become asexual because you finally started seeing the patterns that patriarchal society has been making women follow all this time. You, finally finding self-worth and power to choose yourself and as a result not get sex, is not asexuality.
It rubs me the wrong way that people start to use it as 1) synonym for celibacy or 2) quirky title on tiktok without knowing what that is.
The amount of acephobia in the comments when you point it out is also insane. “Asexuality is not real, it’s just a lifestyle choice” or “it’s just a result of some medication” or “it’s just low libido”. This completely invalidates the whole community.
Asexuality is not a badge of honor you use for some time after you realised you need to focus on yourself and not men and then drop it. It’s a whole spectrum, it’s a valid sexuality. Yes, it ranges from zero attraction, to experiencing it rarely or when you established an emotional contact, or feeling it today and not tomorrow and MANY OTHER FORMS. But it all comes down to the sexual attraction and its deviation from the norm. Not libido and not your choice to put yourself first and the following consequences of not getting sex.
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I am really tired of going on tiktok and seeing the “my bf was stupid and made me go asexual”, “I finally decentered men and nearly turned asexual in the process”.
You cannot become asexual because you finally started seeing the patterns that patriarchal society has been making women follow all this time. You, finally finding self-worth and power to choose yourself and as a result not get sex, is not asexuality.
It rubs me the wrong way that people start to use it as 1) synonym for celibacy or 2) quirky title on tiktok without knowing what that is.
The amount of acephobia in the comments when you point it out is also insane. “Asexuality is not real, it’s just a lifestyle choice” or “it’s just a result of some medication” or “it’s just low libido”. This completely invalidates the whole community.
Asexuality is not a badge of honor you use for some time after you realised you need to focus on yourself and not men and then drop it. It’s a whole spectrum, it’s a valid sexuality. Yes, it ranges from zero attraction, to experiencing it rarely or when you established an emotional contact, or feeling it today and not tomorrow and MANY OTHER FORMS. But it all comes down to the sexual attraction and its deviation from the norm. Not libido and not your choice to put yourself first and the following consequences of not getting sex.
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Am I asexual if I want to have intercorse with a strap on sex toy; penetrating a butch?
I am Butch and i am ButchxButch
I don’t masterbate
I want to do as the title says. But i also only feel romantic parts of attraction.
But I don’t know.
Maybe Demi.
Once my desire happens the sexual attraction pops out.
No body understands.
My desire is a fetish I have.
My fetish is that I spoon them, I lift their shirt up and as they push their belly out I finger their belly button.
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I am Butch and i am ButchxButch
I don’t masterbate
I want to do as the title says. But i also only feel romantic parts of attraction.
But I don’t know.
Maybe Demi.
Once my desire happens the sexual attraction pops out.
No body understands.
My desire is a fetish I have.
My fetish is that I spoon them, I lift their shirt up and as they push their belly out I finger their belly button.
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My friend said i’m not asexual because I am able to get hard
My friend told me today that I am not asexual because i (18M) am able to be hard. He also said that because i goon sometimes (which is an addiction im trying to stop because i dont enjoy it), he said that i enjoyed it 5 years ago so that means im not asexual, i tried to tell him that asexuality isnt black and white but he told me that it is. Im not sure what to think now because im having a bit of an identity crisis, but i still firmly believe i am an asexual
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My friend told me today that I am not asexual because i (18M) am able to be hard. He also said that because i goon sometimes (which is an addiction im trying to stop because i dont enjoy it), he said that i enjoyed it 5 years ago so that means im not asexual, i tried to tell him that asexuality isnt black and white but he told me that it is. Im not sure what to think now because im having a bit of an identity crisis, but i still firmly believe i am an asexual
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I’ve been back and forth on this so many times but it never changes the fact that I will not have sex
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