Dealing with straight coworkers who are obsessed with sex and dating
I'm making a post here because I don't really know where to write this otherwise, really sorry if that's not relevant.
I've started working in a new place a few months ago and my closest coworkers are all women like me except for one guy and most of us are also in our 20's. Four of my coworkers are really, really obsessed with the topic of dating and romantic relationships. Two of them are mostly fine about it, like they're regularly mentioning dating apps and boyfriends but they're not overbearing about it either when I'm chatting with them one-on-one. The other two are really a pain about it though.
The first coworker is always badmouthing her former boyfriend and his new girlfriend, complaining about men but also how she can't live without them, gossiping about the men who work near us, sharing plans for her dream wedding, etc. She's also a huge fan of Taylor Swift, romantic shows like The Summer I Turned Pretty and romance books. Basically the kind of popculture stuff that I couldn't care less about. It's really hard to find something to talk about with her. Recently she has been acting kind of cold towards me and is avoiding to do work tasks with me when she can. So I'm afraid that she interpreted my indifference for her topics of discussion with me being rude towards her.
The other coworker isn't just annoying with the dating topic, she's straight-up obsessed with sex. She makes sexual innuendos almost all the time and is always bringing up topics related to sex, especially to our only male coworker. The problem is that she has branded me and another female coworker as "weird" and "puritanical" because we have shown that it makes us uncomfortable. My female coworker who is also uncomfortable about that is a very religious young woman and is now being treated as the "black sheep" of our workplace because she refuses to play along. Almost everyone talks about her behind her back and criticizes her.
My sex-obsessed coworker has said that I'm too "shy" and I need to "loosen up" with her help. She has this groupchat and I never posted anything in it because the only topic of discussion is just dating guys.
I'm afraid I'm going to be the next one to be treated like an outcast unless I try to get a boyfriend to have something to talk about with them or I participate in the sexual convos. I'd hate to have to do that but I also don't want to be excluded. I really don't know what to do...
https://redd.it/1p7gjel
@asexualityonreddit
I'm making a post here because I don't really know where to write this otherwise, really sorry if that's not relevant.
I've started working in a new place a few months ago and my closest coworkers are all women like me except for one guy and most of us are also in our 20's. Four of my coworkers are really, really obsessed with the topic of dating and romantic relationships. Two of them are mostly fine about it, like they're regularly mentioning dating apps and boyfriends but they're not overbearing about it either when I'm chatting with them one-on-one. The other two are really a pain about it though.
The first coworker is always badmouthing her former boyfriend and his new girlfriend, complaining about men but also how she can't live without them, gossiping about the men who work near us, sharing plans for her dream wedding, etc. She's also a huge fan of Taylor Swift, romantic shows like The Summer I Turned Pretty and romance books. Basically the kind of popculture stuff that I couldn't care less about. It's really hard to find something to talk about with her. Recently she has been acting kind of cold towards me and is avoiding to do work tasks with me when she can. So I'm afraid that she interpreted my indifference for her topics of discussion with me being rude towards her.
The other coworker isn't just annoying with the dating topic, she's straight-up obsessed with sex. She makes sexual innuendos almost all the time and is always bringing up topics related to sex, especially to our only male coworker. The problem is that she has branded me and another female coworker as "weird" and "puritanical" because we have shown that it makes us uncomfortable. My female coworker who is also uncomfortable about that is a very religious young woman and is now being treated as the "black sheep" of our workplace because she refuses to play along. Almost everyone talks about her behind her back and criticizes her.
My sex-obsessed coworker has said that I'm too "shy" and I need to "loosen up" with her help. She has this groupchat and I never posted anything in it because the only topic of discussion is just dating guys.
I'm afraid I'm going to be the next one to be treated like an outcast unless I try to get a boyfriend to have something to talk about with them or I participate in the sexual convos. I'd hate to have to do that but I also don't want to be excluded. I really don't know what to do...
https://redd.it/1p7gjel
@asexualityonreddit
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Having sex for the first time made me realize I'm ace
Hello everyone, I'll be using a throwaway for this as my irls know my main.
I recently had my first time at the ripe age of 21. It had always been on my bucketlist, in fact I yearned for it for quite some time. The person I was with was amazing, they knew it was my first, they were guiding, patient and chill about it. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better partner. Despite this, I felt barely anything, no connection, no sexual fulfillment. It didn't turn me on. I enjoyed pleasuring them, but not so much receiving. Seeing what I did made them happy made me happy, but it didn't turn me on.
Now I do masturbate, quite often in fact. So I thought sex would be even better. It really wasn't. I had to focus on so many things, remembering to breathe, trying to find a comfortable position, hands not reaching places properly etc, that I actually ended up not being able to focus on the physical sensation.
We tried again in the morning, but it didn't really go anywhere.
I've always had this in the back of my mind, but given I was virgin I didn't want to make any assumptions. However this experience really solidified it all. I don't like sex. It was physically exhausting, tiring and dare I say it quite boring and lacklustre. It felt like a chore and quite repetitive.
What's more, ever since this happened, I feel my sex-drive and over-all libido drastically declining. I find this quite intriguing.
Despite this my libido remain relatively high at the moment, and I enjoy doing it on my own, but when I was with a partner, it was exceedingly dull and I found no interest in the act, so I feel torn on the matter. I still believe this qualifies me as asexual, though I'd like to hear your opinions on this matter as well, have any of you been in a similar experience? Do you share these feelings?
https://redd.it/1p7dkog
@asexualityonreddit
Hello everyone, I'll be using a throwaway for this as my irls know my main.
I recently had my first time at the ripe age of 21. It had always been on my bucketlist, in fact I yearned for it for quite some time. The person I was with was amazing, they knew it was my first, they were guiding, patient and chill about it. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better partner. Despite this, I felt barely anything, no connection, no sexual fulfillment. It didn't turn me on. I enjoyed pleasuring them, but not so much receiving. Seeing what I did made them happy made me happy, but it didn't turn me on.
Now I do masturbate, quite often in fact. So I thought sex would be even better. It really wasn't. I had to focus on so many things, remembering to breathe, trying to find a comfortable position, hands not reaching places properly etc, that I actually ended up not being able to focus on the physical sensation.
We tried again in the morning, but it didn't really go anywhere.
I've always had this in the back of my mind, but given I was virgin I didn't want to make any assumptions. However this experience really solidified it all. I don't like sex. It was physically exhausting, tiring and dare I say it quite boring and lacklustre. It felt like a chore and quite repetitive.
What's more, ever since this happened, I feel my sex-drive and over-all libido drastically declining. I find this quite intriguing.
Despite this my libido remain relatively high at the moment, and I enjoy doing it on my own, but when I was with a partner, it was exceedingly dull and I found no interest in the act, so I feel torn on the matter. I still believe this qualifies me as asexual, though I'd like to hear your opinions on this matter as well, have any of you been in a similar experience? Do you share these feelings?
https://redd.it/1p7dkog
@asexualityonreddit
sending much love to the person that has listens to We’ll Never Have Sex 144 times this week 😭💔
https://redd.it/1p7fju0
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1p7fju0
@asexualityonreddit
Are You Aro (Advice)?
**Hi everyone!**
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)
* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)
https://redd.it/1p7kv7t
@asexualityonreddit
**Hi everyone!**
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)
* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)
https://redd.it/1p7kv7t
@asexualityonreddit
how to know if you're sexually attracted to others?
I know what sexual attraction is, y'know its when you wanna have sex with someone, or at the very least engage in some level of suggestive acts
aesthetic attraction is just that but without the sex
(uhhhhh example, being sexually attracted to someone you find hot, y'know means you wanna have sex with em, while on the other hand being aesthetically attracted to that same hot person means you don wanna have sex with em, but you still find em hot)
then there's arousal, which is when your dih gets hard, y'know primal instinct, not under your control, its your body speaking
now my question is uhhhhh, how is one sure they're sexually attracted to others?
I heard its an urge, but is it an urge that you're aware of whenever it appears
y'know is it possible for people to be sexually attracted to others without their own knowledge?
like their urge is just really subtle and they can't even tell themselves
or am I just thinking bout something that just, doesn't work
maybe sexual urges are truly something that you are aware of, whenever they appear
I don know which is why I'm here
https://redd.it/1p792h5
@asexualityonreddit
I know what sexual attraction is, y'know its when you wanna have sex with someone, or at the very least engage in some level of suggestive acts
aesthetic attraction is just that but without the sex
(uhhhhh example, being sexually attracted to someone you find hot, y'know means you wanna have sex with em, while on the other hand being aesthetically attracted to that same hot person means you don wanna have sex with em, but you still find em hot)
then there's arousal, which is when your dih gets hard, y'know primal instinct, not under your control, its your body speaking
now my question is uhhhhh, how is one sure they're sexually attracted to others?
I heard its an urge, but is it an urge that you're aware of whenever it appears
y'know is it possible for people to be sexually attracted to others without their own knowledge?
like their urge is just really subtle and they can't even tell themselves
or am I just thinking bout something that just, doesn't work
maybe sexual urges are truly something that you are aware of, whenever they appear
I don know which is why I'm here
https://redd.it/1p792h5
@asexualityonreddit
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I hate being asexual
Just as the title says, I hate being asexual, a sex repulsed asexual at that.
I hate how I feel romantic attraction to people, and then realise they either wouldn't find me attractive, or if they did, they'd want sex, and I can't provide that. I've tried dating allos and ignoring my cursed aceness, and every partner has left/ cheated because, surprise surprise, they couldnt handle my sexuality. I've also recently been trying to date other sex repulsed aces, one lied to my face, and then I met someone whom I genuinely connected with and started to feel romantic attraction for, and then they ghosted. I think we got stuck on the talking phase for too long, and every time we tried to meet up in person, various aspects of life for the two of us got in the way of doing so, so I guess they rightly got bored and dumped the sorry excuse for a human that I am.
Maybe I'm unfairly blaming being ace on the fact that I hate myself and who I am. Having autism just adds to the curse that's my life, plus the joys of a suspected medical condition I may have. So, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not worthy of love. Oh well.
https://redd.it/1p7ng6c
@asexualityonreddit
Just as the title says, I hate being asexual, a sex repulsed asexual at that.
I hate how I feel romantic attraction to people, and then realise they either wouldn't find me attractive, or if they did, they'd want sex, and I can't provide that. I've tried dating allos and ignoring my cursed aceness, and every partner has left/ cheated because, surprise surprise, they couldnt handle my sexuality. I've also recently been trying to date other sex repulsed aces, one lied to my face, and then I met someone whom I genuinely connected with and started to feel romantic attraction for, and then they ghosted. I think we got stuck on the talking phase for too long, and every time we tried to meet up in person, various aspects of life for the two of us got in the way of doing so, so I guess they rightly got bored and dumped the sorry excuse for a human that I am.
Maybe I'm unfairly blaming being ace on the fact that I hate myself and who I am. Having autism just adds to the curse that's my life, plus the joys of a suspected medical condition I may have. So, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not worthy of love. Oh well.
https://redd.it/1p7ng6c
@asexualityonreddit
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Never the first always the last
Have you ever thought that you don't have someone who really cares for you ?
These days I've been thinking about this... Everyone has their special someone, my friends are nice and all but am not as important to them as they are for me, my family is all about my brother ( who was doing therapy since 4 years old) while I was always scared of the world that nobody took the time to teach me how it worked, I was bullied, harassed, ridiculed and nobody knew, nobody tried to understand how tired I was. Now I'm 21 almost 22 and still feel like a child, lost in the adult-act I pull every day, it is so exhausting and in the end I feel like if I don't reach to them, if I don't force my presence in their lives I'll be easily forgotten and every time I tell them how I feel they always say I'm trying to find culprits to a problem that I created, that I am being dramatic and everything is just in my head. I'm not looking for solutions, it's just a rant, is life always that tiring for everyone? (My second therapist said I probably have anxiety and depression )
https://redd.it/1p7pksl
@asexualityonreddit
Have you ever thought that you don't have someone who really cares for you ?
These days I've been thinking about this... Everyone has their special someone, my friends are nice and all but am not as important to them as they are for me, my family is all about my brother ( who was doing therapy since 4 years old) while I was always scared of the world that nobody took the time to teach me how it worked, I was bullied, harassed, ridiculed and nobody knew, nobody tried to understand how tired I was. Now I'm 21 almost 22 and still feel like a child, lost in the adult-act I pull every day, it is so exhausting and in the end I feel like if I don't reach to them, if I don't force my presence in their lives I'll be easily forgotten and every time I tell them how I feel they always say I'm trying to find culprits to a problem that I created, that I am being dramatic and everything is just in my head. I'm not looking for solutions, it's just a rant, is life always that tiring for everyone? (My second therapist said I probably have anxiety and depression )
https://redd.it/1p7pksl
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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