No nut life for me lmao
https://redd.it/1ovgc69
@asexualityonreddit

What does it mean to be "queer" in terms of sexuality? It was never clear to me.



https://redd.it/1ovim13
@asexualityonreddit

Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**



Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.



**Do any of these resonate with you?**

\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.



These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.



\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)

* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)

https://redd.it/1oviy6k
@asexualityonreddit

Boyfriend forcefully gave me backshots.

Yeah okay the title is very weird and abstract so long story short. I, 19(M) I'm asexual and I genuinely cringe at the idea of having sex. However I do like kissing,holding hands and cuddling and that's my way of showing love and affection. I have a boyfriend and I told.him casually about asexuality and myself and he took it too in a casual way. He s very caring and loving and we ve been holding hands and kissing untill a few days ago he just pushed me to.the bed and said he wanted to do it. I was sooo taken aback and wanted to say NO GOD I HATE IT. ITS SOO FUCKIN WEIRD AND CRINGY AND WE LL JUST BE DELIVERING OURSELVES PAIN FOR JUST A NICE FEELIMG THAT LASTS ONLY FOR A MIN AND HALF AND THEN IT TAKES SO MUCH TIME TO RECOVER AND CLEAN UP AND ITS SO PAINFUL AND ANNOYING GOD NO STOP IT. but I thought that would make him feel bad and he would leave me if I was not fulfilling his desire over me and so I gave in and said SURE. Honestly it was so painful and I hated every second of it coz I was the bottom. I wanted to curse him and say no but the fear of our relationship coming to an end haunted me so much. After that he said he liked it and maybe would do me more and idk I hate it so much but still I ll have to just agree coz he s so loving,caring,smart,sexy and head over heels for.me and the thought that maybe a girl( he's bi) that is his type will fulfill his sexual desires would just take him away one day and I ll.be left alone.

https://redd.it/1overa7
@asexualityonreddit

Hard dose of reality…
https://redd.it/1ovmol6
@asexualityonreddit

Sex-averse aces: do you still get crushes on people? What does that look like for you?

I’m sex-averse but I still find myself developing attraction to people for various non-sexual reasons. I’m curious if others experience something similar, or do you just not have attraction to others at all?

My favorite way of putting it is:

I don’t look at someone and think “damn, I want to hit that”.

I think, “damn, I want to cuddle that” :)

https://redd.it/1ovlti9
@asexualityonreddit

Older aces do you worry about being lonely?

I’m at a crossroads. I’m almost 30 and every one of my friends is either in a long term relationship, engaged or married. They’re buying houses with their spouses. And I’m single and alone. But I’m ace. But I feel sad that I may just be along the rest of my life. And you could say oh well friendships! But my friends don’t have much time for me now that they’re partnered. And you could say oh find another ace! In my area that’d be like finding a needle in a cornfield. Its hard enough finding someone: single, similar interests, available, within generally my age, and ace?? Not exactly easy.

I wish I could have a normal relationship minus intimacy but who else in the world would want that.

https://redd.it/1ovjrri
@asexualityonreddit

Anytime some rando tries to flirt…
https://redd.it/1ovp1vk
@asexualityonreddit

Downloaded Hinge, now I want to delete it

For some context, all throughout middle school, high school, and college I was pretty boy crazy. I had a lot of talking phases, but never had a proper boyfriend. I would lose interest really quickly though once they reciprocated, and eventually labeled myself as aroace. I still found men attractive throughout my 20’s, but it was mainly limerence and I got over it after a few months. I never talked to them or initiated anything.

I’m 29 now and decided to downloaded Hinge to test the waters. However, I’ve been finding myself so icked out as I look through the profiles. Not icked out by the men, but icked out by the concept of dating. It just feels so cringe and stressful for some reason. The talking stage, the pressure of intimacy, all the things that we have to consider for compatibility, the “red flags” and the “green flags”, it all feels so performative. I’d rather have a relationship progress like the ones you see in kdramas or a shoujo anime, but that’s not reality. Reality is more transactional.

I think I’ll probably delete Hinge and be single for the rest of my life lol. It just feels more comfortable that way. I do get lonely and want to act on my desires (visual attraction) sometimes, but then I think about how much work goes into it, and how cringe flirting is, and decided that it’s better to just stay single.

https://redd.it/1ovik1f
@asexualityonreddit

Disappointed more people dont know how much we like garlic bread

https://redd.it/1ovmxo3
@asexualityonreddit

For other asexual woman, did getting your period scare you like it did for me?

Sorry if this question isn’t appropriate for this subreddit, and sorry if this isn’t the right flair. I have no idea what flair to use for this so I just guessed 😅.

When I got my first period, it scared me to death 💀. I was literally screaming and crying for like, five minutes, purely disgusted by the sound of them. I was wondering if I’m the only one?

https://redd.it/1ovtc0j
@asexualityonreddit

Horny as an asexual

Hallo Ladies, am I the only one who gets horny when I am on my period?

I hate the feeling so what do you do to deal with it? Any tips?

https://redd.it/1ovtlqn
@asexualityonreddit

Over 40 and just discovering I may be asexual

Hi, I am a 45 year old divorced single mum and I am new here in this community and I wanted to share my story as many people here seem to be much younger. I was married once, and have one child. I had a lot of short term or long term relationships with kind of "normal" sex.





I just ended a new relationship with a guy after three months and I am glad I don't have to have sex with him anymore. He was a really nice and lovely guy but wanted sex all the time and I did not.

And I realized that I always wondered how people voluntarily had sex in long term relationships.

For me it always felt like a chore. I participated because it was expected.

I did enjoy it most of the times, but I would never initiate.

I always thought I chose the wrong men and if I would meet the right one, I would want to have sex with him forever. But I always had this issue, and I had many relationships.

So I guess it's me...

It felt better to have sex at the beginning of the relationships when it was new but still it was nothing I would really desire...

The only time I really felt desire was when it was kind of forbidden. I once was the sidepiece of a married man (not proud of it), and I really felt attracted to him. But of course this relationship did not go into long term.





So I looked into this subreddit and I guess I am kind of grey-asexual or aegosexual. I like to read smut and watch porn from time to time. But I only watch lesbian porn. I do not enjoy watching men in porn. But I never met a woman I would want do have sex with in real life, so I guess I am not bi oder lesbian.





I generally feel like bodies are kind of gross and I do not want to interact with anyone naked. Sex felt always better for me when we had clothes on. Maybe this is an issue of my body aging and of bad body image but I do not want to get naked with anyone.





So I guess I am starting to wonder if I might be kind of asexual after having a ton of sex in my life.

Are there other people like me who found out they are asexual later in life?

https://redd.it/1ovx8jo
@asexualityonreddit

Have you ever been in love?

Although I’ve been in a couple of relationships, and had all consuming crushes on people (not the people I’ve had relationships with) I’ve never knowingly been in love. I can obsess about people, sure, and I can love people, but I don’t know the feeling of being in love. Does that have any bearing on being aromantic? Or can aro people still fall in love?

https://redd.it/1ovwu5e
@asexualityonreddit

So Tired Of The “My Parter Is Ace And I’m Not” Posts.

Asexual people can’t have our own subreddit without allos invading it. Do you not understand how triggering it is for us asexuals to go to our safe space just to see posts about how you guys are so unfulfilled in your relationships just because of sex?

All the posts are the same. “My partner is repulsed by sex, but I need it! What can I do?" What do you expect us asexuals to say? You want us, ASEXUAL people, to tell you that we think your asexual partner isn't enough because of sex, something we don’t even like? What do you expect from us? Asexuality is also a spectrum, and everyone who is ace is different. This literally boils down to just TALKING TO YOUR PARTNER. We can’t answer for them because we aren’t them. Why come on here and ask us instead of the person you’re with??

Have you ever stopped to think how many of us aces lost partners we cared about and bent over backwards for, leave us simply because we didn’t want to fuck them, even though many of us tell our partners we’re ace before we even get together and they say they’re okay with that only to break our trust like everyone else has later on? You’re rubbing our trauma in our faces.

I get it if they came out as ace after you get together, that is a little different. And yes breaking up is hard for everyone. But still, you can literally find someone else. You have BILLIONS of people to choose from - meanwhile us aces have less than 1% of the population. So it’s incredibly upsetting for us aces to have see posts of you guys complaining about this when we have less than 1% of the population to choose from. We’d rather not be reminded of how 99% of the population see us as unlovable no matter what we do simply because we’re asexual.

This subreddit isn’t for your posts like this. It’s for us. It’s our safe space. There’s a whole other subreddit for these posts that you can go to. So why post it on here? Why do you guys love reminding us that we aren’t enough for you?

https://redd.it/1ow188x
@asexualityonreddit

I manage with 10 just fine.
https://redd.it/1ow1nqj
@asexualityonreddit

How can I make it obvious that I’m just being nice?

As a man I don’t want anyone thinking I’m flirting. I just want to be nice to people. Is there anyways I can make it obvious without outing myself?

https://redd.it/1ow4a5z
@asexualityonreddit

Ace Community Here Me Out

Ace people of the world!
I come before you not as one of your own, but as a friend and ally and a humble messenger of goodwill. For I have seen that you do not have an animal mascot, the lesbians have the penguin and cats, the trans folks have the shark and the gay men have the grizzly bear and unicorn. Yet I have looked upon your ranks, and found no creature crowned as your emblem.

So today, I bring forth a candidate most fitting:
the GREAT PANDA!

https://preview.redd.it/fg5oihked11g1.png?width=609&format=png&auto=webp&s=3c92edee2a6ad502d8c7b3a3461aade58822b1c5

Let the world know: the panda does not seek the frenzied courtship of the wild but is concerned with happy times and snacks!

https://redd.it/1ow33kk
@asexualityonreddit

Intrusive thoughts question

I've recently had intrusive thoughts of someone else rubbing one off at the thought of me. Is this normal? For an intrusive thought

https://redd.it/1ow73ri
@asexualityonreddit