Real
https://redd.it/1oa57bk
@asexualityonreddit

Very old thing I drew for ace pride several years ago that I felt like posting
https://redd.it/1oa4nut
@asexualityonreddit

Garlic bread this, garlic bread that

https://redd.it/1oa4ylg
@asexualityonreddit

Anyone else ?

Has anyone else tried sex and not like it ?

https://redd.it/1oaae6k
@asexualityonreddit

Is it weird to want marriage but be ace?

I recently came to terms with my asexuality about two years ago. I’ve dated someone for one week during high school, have missed obvious flirting cues, and basically ghosted anyone that has asked me out. Romantic relationships used to scare me because I always thought it would turn sexual, which disgusted me. I didn’t want to label myself as something I didn’t understand at the time. As I’m getting older (30s) I realize that I want to build a life with somebody. Just someone to hold hands with and share a marriage. I don’t want sex, I don’t want kids, I just want a dink relationship with dogs and to have a wedding that everyone dreams of. I’d like to have a more-than-platonic relationship with someone. Is that weird?

https://redd.it/1oad5bk
@asexualityonreddit

I feel so invalidated...

Why is asexuality so hard to fucking believe? My brother told my mom, "Joey thinks she is asexual-" and my mom said, "No she's just not active. You're either active or you're not. She's not interested in intercourse at this point of time." And he yells from the back, "MOM DOESN'T BELIEVE IN LGBTQ" and she goes, "It's not that I don't believe in LGBTQ- but asexual isn't LGBTQ, it's an unnecessary term. Joey's not asexual."

And I don't know what to do. She says we can love who we love but how come we can't love HOW we want to love? Even if I end up not asexual in the future, why can't it be accepted while I identify as it? And then it feels like I'm getting confused with my identity because I'm told it's just lack of horomones, but I sure be acting up and getting called hormonal for lashing out or having strong emotion. But then I'm told I'm BPD. So then I think, well if it's a disorder making me act out then maybe I am just lacking horomones? And she tells me I just haven't met someone I don't have good chemistry with. She said the same thing when I was with my ex that I was REALLY in love with. She said he's not the one if I don't like him like that, but it doesn't make sense to me.

I've never wanted sex AT ALL. I know asexuality is about lack of sexual attraction. And I don't have any... I don't think? I don't even know what it is. How do I know if I'm asexual? I just want to fit in somewhere, but it feels impossible. Do I find people attractive? Sure. Do I find certain features attractive? Yes, sometimes certain features are just appealing. But I've never... wanted sex... with anyone. I never even really considered it. Not until I was forced to, but even then the stuff I did (oral, hand) was meh. I had no desire to do it with him. His looks didn't affect how I felt about sex, or my libido. Sure, I'm OKAY with things, but it fluctuates so fucking much. I'm repulsed by the idea, I don't want to participate. But some days it sounds like it could be okay with STRICT boundaries. Reading it is alright? Watching it, I skip scenes in movies and shit. I hate being called sexy or hot, I hate sexualization, I hate being seen for sex. I hate feeling required. Is that not in any way asexual? I feel like I'm having an identity crisis all over again. I don't know who or what I am again, and I thought I had just figured it out.

I'm so confused.

https://redd.it/1oacpe6
@asexualityonreddit

Not sure anymore if im ace :/

Content warning: I'll be talking about sex pretty candidly. Very candidly infact. Adult shit in this post, technically 18+ but I'd honestly prefer 21+

I also wanted to also use questioning and sex favorable topic, but I was only able to use one flair.

I'm gonna ask my question first, so if anyone just knows the answer they don't gotta read the context first:
Is there a term for somebody who doesn't experience attraction until after they've already had sex? (If that term is allosexual, I'm ready to accept that)

So, I 23f have identified as sex positive asexual for years now. I don't get attracted to people just by seeing them, or by being close with them, even for a long time. Still though, I know I really like sex, and I want to have it with somebody. Ive always viewed sex, the act, as a very fun activity between people who trust eachother, attraction itself isnt required for that. It's just been... hard to choose somebody.

I decided a while ago that I'll find somebody who I get along with, can be friends with, find aesthetically pleasing, and is compatible with my likes, dislikes, and general sexual wants. I'm panromantic, but I find it easier recently to be around women than men, so I decided to look for a woman specifically.

I found that approach not very effective honestly :/ people don't approach sex like that... and when I don't feel that attraction, others can feel it, and we just end up talking like friends. I end up feeling bad about "sizing them up" basically and can't even think about having sex with them, we're friends now I don't wanna switch up and be like "sex?" Feels like I misrepresented my intentions, it just feels yucky on my part

The other night, though, I went out to a gay bar on karaoke night, I actually wore makeup, I was cute and smelled good and was gonna look for a nice cute lady and try to be more forward about my intentions. Instead, karaoke was dead and I ended up making good friends with the staff. I sang something from kpop demon hunters, and the bartender shouted out the Korean rap part that I couldn't get right (I shouted out before it started "I can't rap in English but definitely not in Korean" haha). While someone else was singing, I got talking to one of the bartenders.

He told me his name and I repeated it, he said I pronounced it really well and asked if I speak Korean. I told him my history, I got into kpop a few years ago and decided to try learning Korean. I've learned many languages before, it's a hobby of mine, and I found Korean really fun and easy so got up to conversational level! Sadly though, my memory is ass and I lost all of it, down to complete day 1 beginner. I retain my pronunciation of every language I've tried, though. We got to talking about more interests, and he's just a cool dude, and we decided to hang out and smoke after his shift was over (he was off early as hell, and the bar was majorly dead)

At this point, I wasn't thinking about having sex with him or anything, I was like "this dude's cool, let's be friends." I went and hung out, looked through his books, we have SO much in common! Even through most of the hangout, I'm still not thinking about sex, but then we're reading one of the books together and he rests his arm on my leg. I thought "that's a bit close for a friend" and i said something kindof jokingly, and he moved his arm off and was like sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I'm a touchy person.
I realized like wait, this dude probably wants to fuck. So I go through my checklist, which has gotten no use until now:
We get along ✔️
Attractive ✔️
Feel happy around ✔️
Woman?? No but... I avoid men because they can be pushy and scary. This guy isn't. He's very respectful, making sure I'm comfortable at every turn, he's treating me well and won't do anything I don't want.

So I rest my arm on his leg. I decided like, I wanted sex, I'm comfortable around this person, let's see.

At some point also, we had a discussion about sex, and another checkmark ✔️ we are compatible

So I won't get into it, but

we fucked! Yippee! And it was great oh my god dude. And still, I didn't feel attraction, yet I really liked my time with him. So we plan to meet up again 3 days after

Oh, another... relevant detail. I hadn't thought to ask how old he was, but I assumed he was around 30. Kindof old for me, but idk he's hot and cool so it's not the biggest deal. So we have our pants off, but underwear still on, and he's giving me a shoulder massage (ugh btw he massaged out my wholeee body, not in a sexual way, I have disabilities and my muscles are FUCKED UP and he's really good at massages so he helped work out my many many knots), so I asked how old he was. HES 40! Ahaaaa I uh then tell him I'm 23. He kindof froze up, he thought I was older than that, like late 20s. After a second he's like "are you... okay with this much difference?" And I hesitated, he again says "are you... comfortable with this?" And I was like... I think so. I thought for another second while he worked on my shoulders (being noticeably careful to give me time to think), I eventually told him yes im okay with this. I never thought I'd be with somebody so far from my age, but he seems like a good person and I'd like to continue. He was just an absolute consent king through everything

Anyway, were gonna meet again soon. I found myself getting like really excited to see him again? I can't tell whether I'm just really excited to talk and hang out, if I'm just horny, both? Or is this what attraction feels like? No matter what it is, I can't wait to see him again.

So last night I went and saw him again. I showed him my good books, and my video games, he showed me his video games. He fed me :) he remembered my allergies, gave me fruit, some pastry, and made me beef and rice. I connected these dots later, but he rarely eats meat, hes a total sweets and fruit and veggies person, but I told him I eat a lot of meat. I think he went out of his way for the food he chose, more than he showed, he was being really humble. And after hanging out we had sex again! Really good sex. For hours. He paid me so much attention, did things I had no clue I liked but I really really do. Shit was transcendent

Now I can't stop thinking about him. I didn't feel this before we had sex, like at all, it was absent. But now I think about him and I get horny. THATS ATTRACTION, RIGHT?? It's kindof breaking my perception of myself, I'm pretty certain also I never would've felt this if we hadn't had sex

It feels so strange also because me, this queer little genderfluid (mildly relevant - I've been transmasc and very "man" for a couple years, but I've been in an extremely feminine swing recently), all my friends are girls and gays, the things we say to eachother would be considered hate crimes, IM QUEER, IM GAY, IM!!! with this 40 YEAR OLD STRAIGHT MAN??? It's just so strange. I'd never imagine myself with a man at all, even though I know it's possible, but 40 and straight?!?! Like maybe if I was with a man he'd be atleast bi, and 27 at the oldest. But despite everything, it's him. What the hell? That HAS to be attraction right?? I feel it might not be, maybe I'm just horny and he's just really good at what he does (he is oh my god he is). I feel I need to experiment with more people, maybe I'll feel the same if we get along and the sex is good. Maybe that's all attraction is? If it's not, then maybe that's just all I need. I just don't know. But I don't think I can call myself ace anymore until I figure it out

https://redd.it/1oakg8l
@asexualityonreddit

I summon dope ass fucking skeleton with garlic bread
https://redd.it/1oaljyg
@asexualityonreddit

My mom wants to identify as Ace because she’s tired of people?

Hi, I’m asexual myself and my mom a couple months back said she feels ace because she’s “tired of people and their bullshit” and “people are gross, I don’t want to handle all of that. I think I’m Ace.” Previously she said some really hurtful things about me and my Asexuality saying “you won’t ever find love unless you give them what they want. You’ll never get married at this rate.” That shit hurt me to my core. She WAS high as a kite. But still, and then just casually mentioning a few months later that’s she’s “Ace.” I forgot about it until she mentioned it today and I couldn’t give her a proper answer. I feel like I’m biased so I can’t give a proper judgement on this. Please help because she won’t let this go. She also said “I don’t think I can be sexually attracted to people with their bullshit” today so maybe that helps. She started saying it after a huge depressive episode after a breakup, trying to find work and people being rude and rejecting her (she’s almost there though. Going the training! I’m proud of her) our unsupportive family not helping when my grandma was in the hospital, and after she died. She’s much better now. I love my mom and if she really is Asexual/ under the umbrella, I don’t want her past actions clouding my judgement when she’s sincerely asking for advice. She’s very cool with the rest of the LGBTQ+ community, but had a hard time understanding me being Ace. She can get mad about being corrected with pronouns (she tries for my friends) but when I told her that me correcting her wasn’t about her, she got and she’s been cool. She also says she wants a “gay best friend who’s sassy, dresses nice, and tells it how it is.” Like collecting a Pokémon or smth. I don’t know. I just know that I’m Biased and I need someone to tell me if this is social burnout + voluntarily celibate. Thank you ☺️

https://redd.it/1oaiy75
@asexualityonreddit

What a coincidence. I made Aroace art of my oc and it's already asexual awareness week.
https://redd.it/1oappio
@asexualityonreddit

Happy ace week

Starting today October 19th and ends October 25th is asexual awareness week.
I hope all my fellow aces have a very happy Ace week!!!!

Let's all eat cake and garlic bread!!!!!!!!

https://redd.it/1oapg8g
@asexualityonreddit

RELEASE ME
https://redd.it/1oasnba
@asexualityonreddit

Not really an Ace post, just wanted to share my cheesecake with you guys. Me and my mom made it, called a Cinnamon Roll Cheesecake
https://redd.it/1oat23z
@asexualityonreddit

Happy Ace week!!!

Starting today October 19th and ends October 25th is asexual awareness week.
I hope all my fellow aces have a very happy Ace week!!!!

Let's all eat cake and garlic bread!!!!!!!!

https://redd.it/1oapjq8
@asexualityonreddit

I didn't need it but I got another ace ring
https://redd.it/1oav0nn
@asexualityonreddit

How did you find out you’re asexual?

I found out masterbating. My face was all red and chapped as if a wrong bad product. Then when I left the bathroom I saw my coffee pot and I decided to make coffee. As I was making it; loving the taste I was like “This is so much better than any sexual activity.”

My reason for no sex is I just don’t care. No thanks.


Update: Hello fellow Asexuals whichever asexual term… I cannot respond to a lot of you. But just know; HELL YEAH! Hope you’re happy. Much love.

https://redd.it/1oaaq5s
@asexualityonreddit

I didn't need it but I got another ace ring
https://redd.it/1oauzkv
@asexualityonreddit