When life hits hard
https://redd.it/1o9831g
@asexualityonreddit

Hello

Hello everyone. I just wanted to introduce myself. I'm a 30 y.o. I'm Heteromantic Asexual. Nice to meet you all.

https://redd.it/1o992j8
@asexualityonreddit

When life hits hard
https://redd.it/1o97xij
@asexualityonreddit

JokeSeriously guys, we aren't at war. You can chill out.
https://redd.it/1o9cme1
@asexualityonreddit

showering with your partner isnt sexual

i dont know if this is the corrct sub for this, but as an asexual every time i say that showering with your partner is more romantic then sexual i get weird looks and i need to know what you'll think, so let my explain:

showering puts you in a very vulnerable position, because it's your alone time you are standing there naked, and showers can also put you in a vulnerable mental state so letting some in to the shower with you is like saying that you are so comfortable with them that you are ok with them being there in your most vulnerable state (also washing my hair is a sacred actvity for me. so letting someone wash my hair or washing someones hair is a big deal for me)

https://redd.it/1o9bjdq
@asexualityonreddit

I fixed the ace flag /j
https://redd.it/1o9fk7c
@asexualityonreddit

Anyone Else Feel Like A Fake ACE Because You Are Sex Positive-ish

I'm fairly confident I'm asexual, as I've never felt sexual attraction. I don't care for porn, but I can appreciate lude and nude pictures from an artistic stand point. I also like to pose for them. What I think sets me apart from other ace people is that I like to fool around with people online. I don't want to get graphic or anything but I have very strong preferences. Part of me would like to try stuff IRL, but I also don't know. I have a hard time seeing my self in a sexual position, but it also feels kinda liberating. LIke haha purity culture I got laid. And Thematically it seems like the perfect touch to a romantic relationship.

https://redd.it/1o9ga2t
@asexualityonreddit

WIN: My new therapist says that there's nothing "wrong" with me and that my celibacy is actually HEALTHY!

I haven't quite accepted the asexuality label for myself yet, but I have reason to believe that I'm on some level of the asexuality spectrum. I've been voluntarily celibate for seven years. I'm always told by society that something is "wrong" with me to the point that I've believed it! After all, I'm a straight woman who is repulsed, and I mean REPULSED to the point where it borders on a phobia, by male genitalia. People always ask me all sorts of inappropriate questions, like if I'm gay (and not believing me when I say I'm not), and asking me if I have sexual trauma. Who asks a stranger that!!!!! I always thought this was something I would "get over," but over time it has not gotten "better." It's just how I am.


I'm seeing a new therapist and this came up way quicker with her than it has with any other therapist because I'm done feeling shame about it. She said that it's actually really healthy to know what I do and do not like and to make boundaries with my body!! I thought she was going to say there was something wrong with me just like society says. It was incredibly relieving.

https://redd.it/1o9h7cb
@asexualityonreddit

No one seems to get it

Every single time I've admitted to being ace to my parents I'm either told I'm too young, have to try it first, or I'm just insecure.

Today the topic of sex came up in conversation between me, my sister, father, and stepmom and when I said that I hope I never have sex my stepmother piped up saying that not having sex is cruel and unusual punishment that she wouldn't wish on anyone.

She also claims that she wouldn't be happy and fulfilled without it, that she knows she can't live without it. I just wish that she would actually listen to me for once instead of projecting her addiction onto me.

https://redd.it/1o9l2dr
@asexualityonreddit

I don't think I've ever been on a date that's been objectively better than pizza

if people tell me we're going out to eat pizza, or better yet, someone else is driving to pick up pizza and i can just watch tv while we wait, i think that, for me, is peak. I like to hang out with people and bond or watch movies or something like that. go see a show. idk. probably just talk about life a lot. maybe just chill.

but at the end of the day, no matter how much cool stuff we've done together or what museum we went to, i probably would've preferred to stay in, watch tv, and have pizza while my friend plays an interesting video game on the tv.

https://redd.it/1o9nvc4
@asexualityonreddit

"So like, never?"

Yes never. I said celibate. No, you're not special. No, I don't want to fuck you. Does no one know what celibate means anymore?

I'm tired.

https://redd.it/1o9m11v
@asexualityonreddit

"not wanting sex is selfish"
https://redd.it/1o9pw7z
@asexualityonreddit

Am I Demi? Or still ace?

So Ive (24F) have been pretty confident that I’m ace for several years now. I have never once looked at a person or partner and thought how I wanna strip them down and have sex with them. For the longest time I thought that feeling was something made up for TV and movies and everyone was just joking.

But recently I met someone who I do wanna sleep with??? And it wasn’t like soon as I saw them, it was after spending a good day few days with them and realizing how easy it was to click with them. Finishing each other’s sentences and all that.

But it’s just so weird for me cause I’ve had romantic crushes in the past but all I would fantasize about was a domestic life with them. It literally is just this one person. So can you guys give me some feedback as a jumping off point of what this could mean for me. I just need a community to help gather my thoughts since I dont have any ace friends 🥲

https://redd.it/1o9pyfv
@asexualityonreddit

I'm heteroromantic asexual and I feel like I'm never going to find the love I'm looking for.

I really want to have a relationship. I want to be comforted and held and comfort and hold the person back when he needs me to. And have movie nights and cook together and laugh together, have inside jokes together, go on dates and I want to be as crazy about him as he's crazy about me. And I want to be told I'm beautiful without it having an alterior motive. I want the love so bad, I just don't want the sex bit and it shouldn't be that difficult to find a person like that. It's not fair. Dating sites don't work for me, I don't like them at all...I tried. I'm just letting out my frustrations here, I don't know if I want any advice. If anyone like me has any success story that would be nice to hear. I hardly ever find friends I click with not to mention a partner, the people I click with are allo anyways and usually don't want anything to do with me when they find out I won't sleep with them. This really isn't fair.

https://redd.it/1o9rppj
@asexualityonreddit

My girlfriend cannot accept the fact that I have fetishes

Me (23M) and my girlfriend (22F) have been dating for 2+ years, she is ace and I'm allo. We started the relationship being very clear about her asexuality and boundaries regarding sex. While I experience sexual attraction and libido, I find sex to be pretty disgusting, dirty, and painful, so I do not crave it at all. This was what we established: no sex because neither party likes it. However, she is very aware that I still have fetishes, some of them with sexual undertones or implications, but nothing related to direct sex. I watch porn and masturbate to them, but again ones without any form of penetration involved, just sexually charged acts. Some of my fetishes are also just related to articles of clothing. In fact, when we started dating, she suggested buying and wearing some of them for me since she knows I like them. We did it once or twice, but stopped after I noticed that she was uncomfortable, and I didn't want her to force herself to do something for my sake. Afterwards, our relationship stayed pretty "clean". We cuddle pretty often, but that is the extent of our physical intimacy - just some hugs and her sitting on my lap and such.

Fast forward to a few days ago, she caught me scrolling Insta on my burner account and saw stuff related to my fetishes. I didn't think much of it, just went about our date and went home like usual afterwards. But I knew something was wrong when she started replying to my texts very sporadically and unenthusiastically (we don't live close to each other), culminating in the big reveal she told me just now: she is upset that I have fetishes. She said that it slipped her mind that I still have sexual needs, albeit not explicit sex, because we have mostly steered clear of everything of that sort in our relationship. But now that she got reminded, she thought about it and got very uncomfortable about the fact that I have them, and decided she cannot accept it. And she knows that this is not something I can change, so I am guessing she is pushing the conversation towards a breakup.

I haven't replied to her yet, because I guess I am still a bit bewildered and haven't fully let the situation sink in. I just felt like this came out of nowhere(?), because we were happy, I was happy, being with her without needing anything of that nature. And it is not like she doesn't know my fetishes, in fact she asked for a very clear explanation and example for each of them when we started dating so she can be more informed. And I have communicated to her before that I am perfectly fine without doing anything related to my fetishes irl (just like the last 2 years we spent together). To me, it is like satisfying my innate desire for violence by playing FPS or fighting games. I don't want to shoot or beat up anyone irl of course, but it is cathartic to do so in an imaginary medium. The same goes for my fetishes and porn/masturbation. And the baseline is, I really really love my girlfriend, so I don't know what to say to her in this instance. I am afraid any little move I make will just topple the house of cards and lead to something I will regret. Some insight will be greatly appreciated, thank you to all you guys in advance!

https://redd.it/1o9si1u
@asexualityonreddit

Another day same guy in my dms

https://redd.it/1o9xy7j
@asexualityonreddit

This is how I imagine my future QPR to be like

https://redd.it/1o9ybet
@asexualityonreddit

Thought y'all would like this
https://redd.it/1oa261q
@asexualityonreddit