Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**



Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.



**Do any of these resonate with you?**

\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.



These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.



\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)

* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)

https://redd.it/1o7n2vq
@asexualityonreddit

POISON POUCH TURNS THE TOOLS ACE???
https://redd.it/1o7rrpf
@asexualityonreddit

i tried to have sex and now i feel unclean

hello

I (21f) tried to have sex with a guy just a few hours ago and now I'm freaking out.

For the past 4 years I've identified as asexual: I feel little to no attraction to people in general, every time I did feel attraction it was strictly emotional and sex in general grossed me out.

(The first time I tried to have sex with a boyfriend I felt unconfortable and refused penetration. The other times we tried sexting or doing it while on call I felt weird, awkward and generally not turned on).

So yeah, asexual.

Except, in the last few months I felt an increase in my usual libido (I can usually stay months without thinking about masturbating, it's not something I think about every day).

So i tried going on a date with this guy and tonight i brougth him home (it was absolutely my idea, he didn't pressure me into doing anything and he was respectful the whole time), and I thought it was going okay even though kissing him wasn't actually doing anything to me.

Then I tried giving him head and oh boy, I did not like that. Do people actually like doing that shit? Jesus Christ. And when we started doing it felt mechanical, almost as if it wasn't me who was doing it. then i just tried to get him off with my hands but he took fuckinf forever and he wasn't sure he came and i didn't want to be touched anymore because all I could think about was how disgusting i felt and how bad i wanted to shower and clean my whole room again.

After he left i changed all the sheets and pillows and anything he touched and i took a shower immediately.

Now i feel disgusting and grossed out and generally not good, and I can't believe people do that every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I honestly want to throw up.

Anyway, I guess the only thing I wanted to do with this post was rant, but i did wonder if antone else has a similar experience? I honestly feel bad about the whole deal and I know I should love myself no matter what, but i do actually feel broken, as if my body was just bult wrong, as if no one followed the instructions and came uot with something that isn't quite right.

https://redd.it/1o7rmpq
@asexualityonreddit

How did you deal with asexuality in middle school and high school, college?

Hi everybody, I have been identifying as a sexual since I was 13 and I’ve been very confused about romantic attraction as well as I am a biromantic woman. Many times people would just label you as bi, and it was hard for me because I would be in love with both males and females, but it was easier just to be labeled as bisexual rather than biromantic. A lot of people normalize sex, and relationship, especially in that age and I was always horrified about the thought of doing that because for one I saw myself as a kid and for two I was very scared of just being that close to someone I remember I had a girlfriend and I was so anxious thinking about the time that we were gonna eventually have sex wherever that would be. I later felt insecure about being a virgin because everybody else was kinda like pushing that down your throat and people will look at you funny when you tell them that you don’t have sexual experience. I got over that and I was proud of my decision that I stay true to my values. Even when I was in college, I stayed true to myself, and I didn’t do anything. I just really never sought it out, but I did like the romantic attraction and people have a hard time differentiating the two.

https://redd.it/1o7rshj
@asexualityonreddit

My asexuality is so weird cause.Why do I love everything about sex, Except for having it?

Like I love reading smutty stories,
Sex jokes are the funniest to me
I find Slutty clothes so cute
Hell, I even love FEELING sexy and flirting. But I hate having sex. How can I love everything around something but hate the actual thing?

https://redd.it/1o7rd0r
@asexualityonreddit

Be honest, how many of us own body pillows(not like a weird anime one)? And if so, what do you do with it(if you want to share)?



https://redd.it/1o7vk7p
@asexualityonreddit

I (F24) recently realized I'm asexual and I would like to talk with others about their experiences :)

Hey everyone,
So this is still pretty new to me, and I guess I’m trying to understand it better by hearing from others who’ve been through this too. I don’t feel super comfortable sharing my own experience in the comments, but I’d be happy to chat in private messages (but only people 20yo+ please!).

I realize those are very personally questions, so please only answer what you want and ignore the rest. How did you come to realize you were asexual ? What's the opinion about asexuality like in your country ? Have you ever had sex ? Do you still long for a soulmate or to share your life with someone ? And are you 100% sure you’re ace, or do you ever wonder if maybe the “right person” could change that, or if it could be more about fear of intimacy (emotionally and/or physically) ? The last question has been in my head a lot (Yes I might be projecting.)

https://redd.it/1o7rw00
@asexualityonreddit

Maggie says Ace Pride!

https://redd.it/1o7yzuw
@asexualityonreddit

Maggie says Ace Pride

https://redd.it/1o7z14d
@asexualityonreddit

My two new rings
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@asexualityonreddit

Garlic bread flavored crackers (high in sodium)
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@asexualityonreddit

Im low on memes plz give me some
https://redd.it/1o83rxl
@asexualityonreddit

I don't know if I am asexual at all?


I'm a sex-averse male pursuing my master's. Due to my orientation and academic stress, I never had a relationship until recently. I finally began dating a heterosexual female who, initially, appeared to accept and grasp my asexuality.

I was totally truthful with her right from the start — I said that sex would not be included in our relationship and that she could leave if it was something she really wanted. She was okay with it.

But with time, things shifted. She started dropping hints that she misses intimacy. I politely declined every time, reminding her of my limits. A few days back, she mentioned that she wants to open up the relationship. She said she loves me but "can't live without intimacy."

I explained to her that I don't feel comfortable with an open relationship and that we perhaps need to break up if our needs are not compatible. She became angry and said, "Why would you even feel hurt or jealous? You're asexual — if you have no sexual attraction, you shouldn't mind if I sleep with someone else."

That really got to me. She also asked me to “reconsider” whether I’m truly asexual, which made me feel even more confused and invalidated.

I can’t stop thinking about it. Am I wrong for feeling hurt by her wanting to sleep with other people? Is it unreasonable for an asexual person to still want this above exclusivity like i didn't force her to remain in relationship I was honest to her from start, but what I say I don't know.

https://redd.it/1o853yv
@asexualityonreddit