It’s frustrating how I lose attraction to someone the moment they start talking about sex
(F24) I’ve been realizing I’m asexual, and I’ve always had a hard time flirting with people. I like flirting, being affectionate and all that, but the moment someone shows any sexual interest in me, I just lose all attraction.
There was this girl I was talking to. She was really cool, and we were into each other. We started flirting in a cute, affectionate way, but after a while the conversations got more suggestive, and that’s when I completely lost interest.
I didn’t tell her I’m Ace, mostly because I still don’t know how to talk about it. But it honestly frustrates me how I just can’t deal with people being sexually attracted to me.
https://redd.it/1o77el1
@asexualityonreddit
(F24) I’ve been realizing I’m asexual, and I’ve always had a hard time flirting with people. I like flirting, being affectionate and all that, but the moment someone shows any sexual interest in me, I just lose all attraction.
There was this girl I was talking to. She was really cool, and we were into each other. We started flirting in a cute, affectionate way, but after a while the conversations got more suggestive, and that’s when I completely lost interest.
I didn’t tell her I’m Ace, mostly because I still don’t know how to talk about it. But it honestly frustrates me how I just can’t deal with people being sexually attracted to me.
https://redd.it/1o77el1
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Asexuality feels like a curse
My best friend who I love dearly is getting married .I never told I liked him because I am an asexual and he is not. i knew that we are not compatible that way on a fundamental level. I just wish I could not have any romantic feeling at all along with not having sexual feelings , would prevent heartbreak
https://redd.it/1o79mg3
@asexualityonreddit
My best friend who I love dearly is getting married .I never told I liked him because I am an asexual and he is not. i knew that we are not compatible that way on a fundamental level. I just wish I could not have any romantic feeling at all along with not having sexual feelings , would prevent heartbreak
https://redd.it/1o79mg3
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Another failed talking stage due to my asexuality
Like the title says, I just had another failed talking stage because I'm ace and he's allo.
I'm F19, and me and this dude met on snapchat (💀) and were only talking for a little over a week, but so far everything was literally going perfect. It was like we were the same person. We even were making plans to meet up and hang out. I knew the topic of sex was like lingering, so I just straight up told him that I wasn't looking to hookup when we hangout, and he was saying be wasn't thinking that either. But he ended up asking if I wanted to wait till marriage, so I just dropped the ace-bomb and told "don't wanna wait till marriage technically because I don't want to ever have sex" lol (I'm sex averse). He was actually mainly interested by the fact that I'm ace but not aro, so I told him he could ask whatever question and I'd answer them if I feel comfortable doing so bc I wanted him to know all abt it and not have assumptions that were wrong. In the end, he's respectful abt it (which is the most I feel like I could ask for) and we're going to continue to be friends.
I guess that was just context and this is the rant part. I'm so tired of feeling like my asexuality is ruining my chances of finding someone. I've already heard the "you're still so young" "you've still got time to find someone" phrases. I've met 2 other asexual ppl in my real life, and they're both aro too. So like the chances of finding someone ACE but not ARO?? such slim chances. About that one guy tho, I'm incredibly disappointed bc like I said, it was going literally perfect. Idk what more I could've asked for, he matched my energy like no one else has before, but just the fact that I don't want to have sex is enough to end it all. And it's not how it sound, he said that part of him wanted to still hang out, but that he knows it wouldn't last long term and didnt want to lead me on. Which is valid to me, and it shows that at least part of him still liked me and me not wanting sex didn't immediately turn off all his feelings toward me. But I'm disappointed and I'm pissed. Pissed bc I feel like my asexuality is making me miss out on a perfect (so far) guy. Overall, I'm not really mad at him bc he was up front with what he wanted in a relationship and I can 100% respect that bc it's the same thing that I was doing when I was telling him I'm ace. I can't be mad at someone for being allosexual. Just like me being ace, they can't just change their feelings and desires. I think I'm more mad at myself and my sexuality for ruining my possible relationship YET AGAIN!
https://redd.it/1o7h2zo
@asexualityonreddit
Like the title says, I just had another failed talking stage because I'm ace and he's allo.
I'm F19, and me and this dude met on snapchat (💀) and were only talking for a little over a week, but so far everything was literally going perfect. It was like we were the same person. We even were making plans to meet up and hang out. I knew the topic of sex was like lingering, so I just straight up told him that I wasn't looking to hookup when we hangout, and he was saying be wasn't thinking that either. But he ended up asking if I wanted to wait till marriage, so I just dropped the ace-bomb and told "don't wanna wait till marriage technically because I don't want to ever have sex" lol (I'm sex averse). He was actually mainly interested by the fact that I'm ace but not aro, so I told him he could ask whatever question and I'd answer them if I feel comfortable doing so bc I wanted him to know all abt it and not have assumptions that were wrong. In the end, he's respectful abt it (which is the most I feel like I could ask for) and we're going to continue to be friends.
I guess that was just context and this is the rant part. I'm so tired of feeling like my asexuality is ruining my chances of finding someone. I've already heard the "you're still so young" "you've still got time to find someone" phrases. I've met 2 other asexual ppl in my real life, and they're both aro too. So like the chances of finding someone ACE but not ARO?? such slim chances. About that one guy tho, I'm incredibly disappointed bc like I said, it was going literally perfect. Idk what more I could've asked for, he matched my energy like no one else has before, but just the fact that I don't want to have sex is enough to end it all. And it's not how it sound, he said that part of him wanted to still hang out, but that he knows it wouldn't last long term and didnt want to lead me on. Which is valid to me, and it shows that at least part of him still liked me and me not wanting sex didn't immediately turn off all his feelings toward me. But I'm disappointed and I'm pissed. Pissed bc I feel like my asexuality is making me miss out on a perfect (so far) guy. Overall, I'm not really mad at him bc he was up front with what he wanted in a relationship and I can 100% respect that bc it's the same thing that I was doing when I was telling him I'm ace. I can't be mad at someone for being allosexual. Just like me being ace, they can't just change their feelings and desires. I think I'm more mad at myself and my sexuality for ruining my possible relationship YET AGAIN!
https://redd.it/1o7h2zo
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Are You Aro (Advice)?
**Hi everyone!**
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)
* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)
https://redd.it/1o7n2vq
@asexualityonreddit
**Hi everyone!**
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)
* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)
https://redd.it/1o7n2vq
@asexualityonreddit
i tried to have sex and now i feel unclean
hello
I (21f) tried to have sex with a guy just a few hours ago and now I'm freaking out.
For the past 4 years I've identified as asexual: I feel little to no attraction to people in general, every time I did feel attraction it was strictly emotional and sex in general grossed me out.
(The first time I tried to have sex with a boyfriend I felt unconfortable and refused penetration. The other times we tried sexting or doing it while on call I felt weird, awkward and generally not turned on).
So yeah, asexual.
Except, in the last few months I felt an increase in my usual libido (I can usually stay months without thinking about masturbating, it's not something I think about every day).
So i tried going on a date with this guy and tonight i brougth him home (it was absolutely my idea, he didn't pressure me into doing anything and he was respectful the whole time), and I thought it was going okay even though kissing him wasn't actually doing anything to me.
Then I tried giving him head and oh boy, I did not like that. Do people actually like doing that shit? Jesus Christ. And when we started doing it felt mechanical, almost as if it wasn't me who was doing it. then i just tried to get him off with my hands but he took fuckinf forever and he wasn't sure he came and i didn't want to be touched anymore because all I could think about was how disgusting i felt and how bad i wanted to shower and clean my whole room again.
After he left i changed all the sheets and pillows and anything he touched and i took a shower immediately.
Now i feel disgusting and grossed out and generally not good, and I can't believe people do that every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I honestly want to throw up.
Anyway, I guess the only thing I wanted to do with this post was rant, but i did wonder if antone else has a similar experience? I honestly feel bad about the whole deal and I know I should love myself no matter what, but i do actually feel broken, as if my body was just bult wrong, as if no one followed the instructions and came uot with something that isn't quite right.
https://redd.it/1o7rmpq
@asexualityonreddit
hello
I (21f) tried to have sex with a guy just a few hours ago and now I'm freaking out.
For the past 4 years I've identified as asexual: I feel little to no attraction to people in general, every time I did feel attraction it was strictly emotional and sex in general grossed me out.
(The first time I tried to have sex with a boyfriend I felt unconfortable and refused penetration. The other times we tried sexting or doing it while on call I felt weird, awkward and generally not turned on).
So yeah, asexual.
Except, in the last few months I felt an increase in my usual libido (I can usually stay months without thinking about masturbating, it's not something I think about every day).
So i tried going on a date with this guy and tonight i brougth him home (it was absolutely my idea, he didn't pressure me into doing anything and he was respectful the whole time), and I thought it was going okay even though kissing him wasn't actually doing anything to me.
Then I tried giving him head and oh boy, I did not like that. Do people actually like doing that shit? Jesus Christ. And when we started doing it felt mechanical, almost as if it wasn't me who was doing it. then i just tried to get him off with my hands but he took fuckinf forever and he wasn't sure he came and i didn't want to be touched anymore because all I could think about was how disgusting i felt and how bad i wanted to shower and clean my whole room again.
After he left i changed all the sheets and pillows and anything he touched and i took a shower immediately.
Now i feel disgusting and grossed out and generally not good, and I can't believe people do that every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I honestly want to throw up.
Anyway, I guess the only thing I wanted to do with this post was rant, but i did wonder if antone else has a similar experience? I honestly feel bad about the whole deal and I know I should love myself no matter what, but i do actually feel broken, as if my body was just bult wrong, as if no one followed the instructions and came uot with something that isn't quite right.
https://redd.it/1o7rmpq
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How did you deal with asexuality in middle school and high school, college?
Hi everybody, I have been identifying as a sexual since I was 13 and I’ve been very confused about romantic attraction as well as I am a biromantic woman. Many times people would just label you as bi, and it was hard for me because I would be in love with both males and females, but it was easier just to be labeled as bisexual rather than biromantic. A lot of people normalize sex, and relationship, especially in that age and I was always horrified about the thought of doing that because for one I saw myself as a kid and for two I was very scared of just being that close to someone I remember I had a girlfriend and I was so anxious thinking about the time that we were gonna eventually have sex wherever that would be. I later felt insecure about being a virgin because everybody else was kinda like pushing that down your throat and people will look at you funny when you tell them that you don’t have sexual experience. I got over that and I was proud of my decision that I stay true to my values. Even when I was in college, I stayed true to myself, and I didn’t do anything. I just really never sought it out, but I did like the romantic attraction and people have a hard time differentiating the two.
https://redd.it/1o7rshj
@asexualityonreddit
Hi everybody, I have been identifying as a sexual since I was 13 and I’ve been very confused about romantic attraction as well as I am a biromantic woman. Many times people would just label you as bi, and it was hard for me because I would be in love with both males and females, but it was easier just to be labeled as bisexual rather than biromantic. A lot of people normalize sex, and relationship, especially in that age and I was always horrified about the thought of doing that because for one I saw myself as a kid and for two I was very scared of just being that close to someone I remember I had a girlfriend and I was so anxious thinking about the time that we were gonna eventually have sex wherever that would be. I later felt insecure about being a virgin because everybody else was kinda like pushing that down your throat and people will look at you funny when you tell them that you don’t have sexual experience. I got over that and I was proud of my decision that I stay true to my values. Even when I was in college, I stayed true to myself, and I didn’t do anything. I just really never sought it out, but I did like the romantic attraction and people have a hard time differentiating the two.
https://redd.it/1o7rshj
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My asexuality is so weird cause.Why do I love everything about sex, Except for having it?
Like I love reading smutty stories,
Sex jokes are the funniest to me
I find Slutty clothes so cute
Hell, I even love FEELING sexy and flirting. But I hate having sex. How can I love everything around something but hate the actual thing?
https://redd.it/1o7rd0r
@asexualityonreddit
Like I love reading smutty stories,
Sex jokes are the funniest to me
I find Slutty clothes so cute
Hell, I even love FEELING sexy and flirting. But I hate having sex. How can I love everything around something but hate the actual thing?
https://redd.it/1o7rd0r
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Be honest, how many of us own body pillows(not like a weird anime one)? And if so, what do you do with it(if you want to share)?
https://redd.it/1o7vk7p
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1o7vk7p
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I (F24) recently realized I'm asexual and I would like to talk with others about their experiences :)
Hey everyone,
So this is still pretty new to me, and I guess I’m trying to understand it better by hearing from others who’ve been through this too. I don’t feel super comfortable sharing my own experience in the comments, but I’d be happy to chat in private messages (but only people 20yo+ please!).
I realize those are very personally questions, so please only answer what you want and ignore the rest. How did you come to realize you were asexual ? What's the opinion about asexuality like in your country ? Have you ever had sex ? Do you still long for a soulmate or to share your life with someone ? And are you 100% sure you’re ace, or do you ever wonder if maybe the “right person” could change that, or if it could be more about fear of intimacy (emotionally and/or physically) ? The last question has been in my head a lot (Yes I might be projecting.)
https://redd.it/1o7rw00
@asexualityonreddit
Hey everyone,
So this is still pretty new to me, and I guess I’m trying to understand it better by hearing from others who’ve been through this too. I don’t feel super comfortable sharing my own experience in the comments, but I’d be happy to chat in private messages (but only people 20yo+ please!).
I realize those are very personally questions, so please only answer what you want and ignore the rest. How did you come to realize you were asexual ? What's the opinion about asexuality like in your country ? Have you ever had sex ? Do you still long for a soulmate or to share your life with someone ? And are you 100% sure you’re ace, or do you ever wonder if maybe the “right person” could change that, or if it could be more about fear of intimacy (emotionally and/or physically) ? The last question has been in my head a lot (Yes I might be projecting.)
https://redd.it/1o7rw00
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