Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**



Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.



**Do any of these resonate with you?**

\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.



These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.



\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)

* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)

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@asexualityonreddit

I dont know how to say this...

I dont like garlic bread.

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@asexualityonreddit

As an ace man, this is truly the thing I want most! 😆

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@asexualityonreddit

As an ace man, this is all I want! 😆

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@asexualityonreddit

Does anyone like the thought of ‘fucking around’ more than they do actually doing it?

Like I feel like the thought of having sex is more entertaining and hot than actually doing it…like you know once you’re in there, it just becomes another activity to scratch an itch then like…what then? I’ve only had sex a few times with one person. I don’t hate it. Liked it a lot, still do, but honestly, I don’t go searching for it. I can fantasize about being the biggest slut on the block, but I really wouldn’t know what to do with myself. lol

I guess that’s the curse of this spectrum of sexuality, at least for me. I love sex, and the idea of it but it’s not the first thing on my mind when it comes to anyone. If someone I’m aesthetically interested in asked me, then sure.

(Expectation > Reality)

Like it gives me huge imposter syndrome, sometimes.

https://redd.it/1o1ua7t
@asexualityonreddit

General confusion if I am Ace or not/wanting to went a bit.

English not my first language. Plus i got dyclixia. So apologize for the poor grammar in this.

I am a 25 year old male.

And of late mainly the last two years or so.
I really been confused what I actually am.
Think my main confusion stem from the fact that my entire family starting to dog pile me. Because I am the only one still single, and the only one not thinking about getting or already have a child.

But I just dont want too. Just never really had.
I just like to come home from work and know when i enter my own home, that I be left alone to peace and quiet.
I just dont see myself able to live with someone else, that be around me when I am home, or when I head to bed and wake up early.

And I think my lack of desire for a relationship comes from the fact I am subconsciously scared I wont be able to be a good partner.
Because for one sex is a really low priority of mine, and have had relationship fall apart because after a year me and and an old ex still havent had sex and they where mad about it.

I think I am scared i cannot please or perform for someone. Because I just never wanted to have sex.
I always felt like I was bi.
But I also felt weird and different, because other would have talked about how "hot and sexy Megan Fox was in transformers"
I just never saw it. Yeah I guess she looks nice. But not "sexy". Like I can see the appeal in both sexes. Like I find it visually nice that a woman have a good size chest and thighs, and see the appeal in a thinn but still bulky man.
But I just never see it past Visual pleasing.

Even as a teen I hated being around other boys. Because they used virgin as an insult, and bragged how they already lost their virginity.
I am still a virgin at age 25. Because I just never saw the reason it lose it. But that also made me insecure. Because how much its talked about that you need to lose it.
And doesnt help with my own insecurity and self loathing that we also have movies like "40 year Old Virgin"
Just signals to me that is supposed to be a bad thing.

I just lacked a sex drive.
Like when I was between 16 to 20 I had a drive. But it was delt with by self pleasure. I also tried viewing porn for a time. But I just lose my drive and feel second hand embarecement from viewing it.
Same with sex scenes or nudity. I just skip ahead away from it.

And as I reached 24 and now 25 I just notice how my drive have vanished more and more. Now there been periods where I can go a month without craving it.
Then there might be 5 days straight it suddenly returns. Then it vanish fully again.

Also just never liked being naked around people.
Like in locker rooms. I hate being naked around others. Think its a combination of not really liking how i look, and a feeling I just dont know where to look, or how to act.
Even now i have directly choosen to locker room at my job, of the department that doesnt have the same work hours as me. So when i meet and leave i have it to myself.

So yeah.
I just dont know if I am Ace, or what.
Was told this is a place I could went about my own frustrations. Because I just always felt weird or outside. Because I just never "sex hell yeah" like so many others i know off.
And how now I am being shoved towards relationships. I just feel even more alienated than ever.


https://redd.it/1o1w0y7
@asexualityonreddit

Therapist says I’m not asexual

So basically it’s been a long time /whole life thinking I’m just sexually dysfunctional or something, always identified as some kind of queer because I just didn’t fit the mold when it came to sexuality. Like I’ve been in love with all sorts of people, sex was always awkward and really unimportant. If I was extremely in love with someone I was willing to have sex, casual sex was an absolute no. Last year I finally read on asexuality and realized this must be the grey zone I fit in.

Fast forward to my crumbling marriage and a relationship therapy session . I came out to my partner last night, they didn’t seem shocked. Our therapist says she thinks I’m not asexual because I can enjoy sex, thinks my sexuality is some symptom of depression and I kinda argued with them for awhile and said “like, that’s your opinion man” and left it at that. I’m pretty bummed out




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@asexualityonreddit

Why is it always the same

My new boyfriend I've known for years just broke up with me. We match in everything else, but he wanted kids. I didn't want kids or to do the deed. We started dating two months ago but I've known him for about 6 years now. I feel upset because I really like him a lot. It's always the same thing. Guys want my body and their own flesh and blood children and I don't do that. Guess I'll end up alone again.

https://redd.it/1o1ydgm
@asexualityonreddit

Is it a stereotype, idk but I bought myself a whole garlic roll I love it 😭
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@asexualityonreddit

Aces, how do you feel about kissing?

Choose the lowest option that you actually enjoy and would seek out yourself!

Not the option that you would be okay doing if your partner wants!

View Poll

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@asexualityonreddit

So, however is sex- repulsed and experienced that, are you okay?
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@asexualityonreddit

Is it still asexual if I, myself, don’t like the pleasure of sex, but like to please my partner??

See I don’t really enjoy pleasure of someone else touching me, but I do enjoy masterbation. For a while I’ve considered myself as asexual, but do enjoy pleasing my partner every blue moon. Should I still consider myself as asexual or is there a different term for such act? I’m just confused and still trying to figure myself out.

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@asexualityonreddit

Comic I made about a year ago that im still very proud of

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@asexualityonreddit

Why ruin a perfectly good song though?
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@asexualityonreddit

Asexual, bi or just traumatized?

I was sexually abused when I was a child, and I have barely done anything sexual since (I am 25). I do not think about sex, I barely get attracted by anyone, but I do think people are beautiful in a platonic way. When I was in middle/high school, girls in my class was always talking about how boys or male teachers was hot or sexy, but I did not ever think of anyone in that way. I just thought they were beautiful in a way that they were made by God. I did have one boyfriend in high school, but he was very physical with kissing, which I did not like. I think it reminded me of the abuse, but I also was grossed out by thinking about sharing spit. However, I did like him, I really did, but when he wanted to kiss a lot, I freaked out and broke up with him. Today I find it very interesting how people live together and have sex, I find it interesting in a way because it seems so strange for me. I don’t know if I ever could do that because I need a lot of alone time. I’m also autistic, and I’ve heard a lot of autistics are asexual, but that could be wrong. I’m also schizophrenic and experience mania-like episodes, where I think more about sex, but I don’t know if I am still asexual because I never ever have had real voluntary sex, i just become more active when im in that type of episode. I also do not wish to have sex, unless I find someone to marry, but I haven’t ever fallen in love after the boy in high school.

https://redd.it/1o2fujn
@asexualityonreddit

Seeking muslim

Salam. Asexual 25 F seeking marriage with a fellow asexual or an impotent. Only Europe or Gulf (due to my nationality). Want family and kids 🥹… Could adopt or IVF. Traditional gender roles. Would consider a lavender marriage.

https://redd.it/1o2hxa6
@asexualityonreddit