It's crazy how much I've developed after learning I'm ace

Society tought me I should experience something special, something magical... I've heard many stories of people doing crazy stuff, stuff that I find irresponsible and could not understand.. For the longest time I tought "what's wrong with me"...

I had no idea asexuality was a thing. It might sound crazy, but I had only heard of gay, bi and queer. It's only around 30 years old that I saw everyone with the flags and I wanted to know more out of respect and wanting to be supportive. Never I had known I'd be in for a ride!

So I read about every flag and tried to remember them, I came across the ace flag it sounded familiar, shocking.. I was thrown into a rabbit hole! It's when I first stepped into this subreddit, checked the pin that directed me about everything ace is. I laughed, I was bewildered, asked my best friends to elaborate on their experiences and compared to mine.. It was so clear!

It's when I stopped waiting for something special and decided to experience life as it is. Not only am I less sad about my romantic life, I have become kinder to the people I see being reckless. I stopped waiting and began exploring, driven by curiosity, I am an open investigation to which I keep finding new pieces to play with. And now I know how to approach romance the day I'll feel ready, I'll be honest and wait for someone who crave as much of a partnership as I do.

I won't be waiting for something 'special' anymore, because now I know what truly is special for me!

https://redd.it/1nxrpkv
@asexualityonreddit

Do asexual people find sex disgusting?

I was wondering recently about how asexual relationships are with a partner whos not asexual. Like for example, do any of you guys go through with sex, even if you dont desire it, just for the sake of making your partner feel good? Thanks for the answers!

https://redd.it/1nxol0w
@asexualityonreddit

Where are the asexual men?

I (22F) am writing a paper about the misrepresentation of asexuality in modern media, and saw a study on the gender ratio of Asexual people.

It stated that 27% of ace people identify as female and 72% identify as queergender or non binary.

As an ace person, I thought it unlikely that there are no male asexual people, but when I started thinking about it, I've never actually talked to one (granted, I don't talk to many people, but still)

If you're comfortable, would you comment on what gender you identify with so I can mentally throw this study into the trash can?

https://redd.it/1nxzhjp
@asexualityonreddit

Hello fellow aces, care for some garlic bread?
https://redd.it/1ny0fyo
@asexualityonreddit

ace ≠ not having sex... yeah...

maybe it’s a silly thing, but it bothers me a little, because in my case it came up in a discussion about a character.

the point is that he was called asexual, and that actually means a lot to me, because he’s my favorite character, and i feel some kind of stronger connection with him.

but the thing is, many people immediately responded with “actually, being asexual doesn’t mean you don’t have sex at all.” and i get it, yeah, that’s true. but for some people it does mean not having sex at all. i don’t forbid anyone to ship anyone.

but for some asexuals, it really does mean not having sex at all. and it feels a little like there are “right” asexuals, the ones who, if anything, might have sex sometimes, and people look at them and say, oh, they’re just people who don’t always want it, well i don’t always want it either, they’re normal.

and then there are the others, the ones who don’t have sex at all, and those get treated like freaks.

mmm… well yeah, i’m a freak.

https://redd.it/1ny0vvm
@asexualityonreddit

Found this
https://i.imgur.com/LWk4Xoh.png

https://redd.it/1ny7k7t
@asexualityonreddit

Do any fellow (aro)aces find it kinda hilarious when...

...you express a complete disinterest in dating/relationships and people still think you'll change your mind once you meet the "right person" ? I mean I know some people get offended or annoyed when others doubt their choices/beliefs but honestly it's just funny to me. Because it's like sorry to burst your bubble Karen but I'm 29, I've ALWAYS been this way and I guarantee you I don't feel like I'm missing out AT ALL XD There are things people DO change their minds about, for sure, but sexuality (at least for most people) seems pretty fixed. Like people can change their political stance, or their religion, or their career, or flip/flop on whether or not to have children, but if I made it almost 3 decades without even actively trying to date anyone? Then take the hint hahaha

(Note that nobody close to me has done this, like my immediate family and friends are fine they don't gaf, but the few times I've heard it from relatives or friends' parents/parents' friends, it's hilarious because these people have known me for years...though to be fair asexuality isn't as widely understood which is why I don't take offense and just find it amusing)

https://redd.it/1ny8yjd
@asexualityonreddit

My culture/ family forcing me to doing it

Hello guys, talking about this is very hard and honestly I need advice. TW: sex mentioned many times

I am a female asexual, and I am still a virgin. Here where I live sex is very normal and everyone expects you to have it (even earlier than my age)… I met a boy who seems to have LOT of sexual attraction towards me but the first time he started kissing me i got scared and left. (It was during the summer). For context, my parents, my whole family, friends has been nagging me and asking me whether i am still a virgin. I dont have any sexual attraction towards this guy (nor towards anyone lol) but if i leave now, block him i dont know when i will have the next chance of loosing my virginity, as everyone demands..

I am not sex averse, I masturbate and stuff but when he started kissing me the first time i got very scared. As I dont have any sexual attraction I feel like i only want to do it so i can just say I am not a virgin anymore. I dont think i would want to do it again and lying about it is not an option. Also I feel like I personally want to try it out at least once (maybe because of cultures pressure, my family, friends), but I am still very scared, his force, how he acts when aroused.. i have looked for first time experiences and every female had said that it is very painful for the first time… but still if I just block him, i dont know when i will have the next chance, and i am already way older than what is the expected age of loosing virginity around here… i need advice, sorry if I am very weird

https://redd.it/1ny75qy
@asexualityonreddit

Concept Art

https://redd.it/1nybm54
@asexualityonreddit

Being strictly ace4ace is not not fun lol

It's not like I NEED a relationship, I'm perfectly fine without one, I'm aroace, but I still WANT one, y'know? I'm back on acespace but there are no men in my city and barely any in my state and I'm unwilling to do a long distance relationship since the whole point of me wanting a relationship is to have my physical needs (kissing, cuddling, etc) met

I'm thinking my only other options would be to either do a bunch of free advertisment for acespace in my city to try and extend the dating pool, or make/join a discord server and see what happens, but that sounds like it'd be even less fruitful

Are any of y'all in an ace4ace relationship? If so, how'd you meet your partner?

https://redd.it/1nybpzv
@asexualityonreddit

Why is tiktok so gross?

So I love otters. Sea otters, river otters...it does not matter. Therefore, my FYP tends to include a lot of them. But why is it that I'm randomly scrolling and I get one of those dirty memes that includes an otter doing something out of context but they're trying to make it s3xual? I almost puked in the bathroom seeing it. Like...just stop.

https://redd.it/1nyd3f4
@asexualityonreddit

First day as coming out Asexual
https://redd.it/1nyfkym
@asexualityonreddit

Can a relationship between a sexual person and an asexual person work?

If anyone is in a mixed sexual relationship, I’d love to hear how you and your partner compromise and cope with the mismatch.

https://redd.it/1nyha4i
@asexualityonreddit

Sad Vent. Please Advise

Please bear with me here. It's 3am and I've been crying off and on all day since Friday night. And this is also my first experience dealing with rejection like this. And sorry if this is all over the place. I'm emotional, not clear headed, and half asleep kind of.

I'm 26F and ace, unsure if plain ace or gray ace. I've known I'm ace since 2021 and actually had my then-boyfriend of the time break up with me because of it. His exact words, "I can't date a whore that won't put out for me." That's another short story for another day 😑, but I have posted about it in the past I believe. I recently bought my first ace pride merch, just a t shirt and some stickers. No, I do not have photos since I've deleted them and thrown them away in an emotional crying fit. Kinda regret it, kinda don't. They arrived Thursday afternoon. I really liked the shirt though. It was just 4 cute chibi frogs on top of each other in the ace flag colors. I kept crying anytime I looked at it, so I threw it away and deleted the one picture I took of it.

My current partner of 2.5yrs knows I am ace. He's fine with it according to him, but I think he has issues with it since he brings up my lack of desire for sex (compared to his desire) any time we have an issue, which is rare. But still hurtful, and I've told him that. So I already wasn't going to wear that shirt around him. And please do not comment on my relationship. I love my partner and would do just about anything for him. He's my favorite human, and I don't typically like humans. I'm an animal person, I work vetmed. He knows this.

I washed the shirt, showered, and put it on Friday night. I was excited to wear it. I showed it to my dad (yes, I live with my parents. US economy sucks right now. F the evil cheeto puff that controls my home right now 😑) and was basically showing it off. This was my first (and right now, emotionally decided, my last) time getting anything ace pride. I don't hide my identity, but I also don't go shouting it from the rooftops. I don't exactly feel safe exposing my asexuality when it's easier to hide it since most people don't really understand (or want to in some cases). Let's just say my father was less than supportive. The gist was, "It's not part of the LGBT so I don't know why you're proud. It's a cute shirt though. I like the frogs." I just took the shirt off and buried it in a dresser drawer with the stickers.

Again, please do not comment on my father. This has been the only time he hasn't supported me. And I will fight to defend him, we have more history than I'm going into right now. There was no yelling involved in that discussion. Normal volume, no harsh or angry tones. One exact quote from me, "We have different opinions on this. It's okay."

That was Friday night. Other things happened yesterday (Saturday) with my dad that were upsetting. Again, do not comment on that. We're family, we won't always get along and it has nothing to do with the shirt. I actually threw the shirt out after the Saturday disagreement. And again, no yelling was involved with that one either. I asked for something and offered to help make it happen, i was shot down. And that particular request was a reoccurring one throughout my childhood, so the no just hit hard for some reason. But Saturday isn't the important part, I'm just adding context for the situation.

Dad did try to apologize for everything, and I heard him out, but I did cut him off at the end and said that he had nothing to apologize for. That this is his house and he's entitled to his opinions just like I am.

Dad left the house later, I went to his room to talk to Mom for a bit since she called me in there, and saw the shirt on the floor. I asked why it was there, Mom said she didn't know. She asked why I threw it out, I explained that I'm not going to wear it and it won't fit Dad. Asked if she wanted it, she said no, so I said that I was throwing it back in the trash where it belonged. She asked why I was throwing away a frog shirt when I love herpetology. I said that they're just stupid

frogs and I wasted my money on the damn thing for no reason, so it's going back in the trash. And I did just that then stated bawling again. I woke up around 3ish (almost 4 now) and just started crying again, which apparently woke up my dad since he asked if I was okay.

I've just been crying on and off since then. I feel rejected in a way. I know my dad loves me. But I feel like something in me died a little. I've never felt particularly sensitive over someone accepting me or not for my sexuality. It doesn't affect them unless they're my partner, so why should their reaction affect me? That's always been my mentality.

I'm asking for advice on dealing with my own feelings about this, not advice on my relationships I've described (extremely briefly and only two snapshots in time, I may add). And PSA, if you bash my father or boyfriend, I will either respond or delete that comment if I can.

https://redd.it/1nyj8z4
@asexualityonreddit

Anyone found any canonically asexual characters?
https://redd.it/1nykp00
@asexualityonreddit