Am i the only one who sometimes feel that having a strong tertiary attraction is kind of annoying? ( i hate these types of posts i am sorry )
And ik what you are thinking ‘’ why ‘’
Idk man, bc it is kind of hard to know what attraction you are feeling.
I experience this with sensual attraction. This attraction is very strong for me and it s sometimes annoying bc it is hard to know if i feel sensual attraction or sexual attraction and i struggle with sexual intrusive thoughts
I would usually have a feeling of wanting to kiss, snuggle or just SQUEEZE somebody ( even though i don’t have a crush. It is more of a i wish to cuddle and kiss )
And i would just never get enough and i would feel like wanting to kiss them more yk. Until i get tired.
But it never gotten to a point of wanting to have sex with them, not even feel the urge to do so.
But after finding out that i have misunderstood sexual attraction this whole time by brain decided to shove sexual intrusive thoughts in my head.
If i want sensual acts my brain would suddenly go ‘’ if you want to kiss someone so much it means you want to lead it to sexual things ‘’
…..Yeah……this is just great
NO O I DON’T WANNA DO THAT. I don’t know if i feel interested in doing that either with someoen tbh. But bc of this intrusive thought, i would be scared of somehow repressing sexual attraction….yayyyyy
Like, my brain would always hit me with ‘’ if you do y like this sexual intrusive thoughts it means that you are shaming yourself on wanting sex and is repressing sexual attraction to ppl ‘’
Which annoys me bc i actually don’t feel like having see with anybody. But i am STILL SCARED of somehow repressing sexual attraction/shaming myself on having sex and worse…..BEING AN INCEL.
Like, i don’t want to repress an attraction, bc i know that feeling attractions and desires are normal. BC IT IS COMMON SENSE. It isnt shameful, it isnt somehow taboo it is just…normal
I know very well it is normal, it is just that i don’t feel the need to do that with someone.
But nooooo, i can’t say that bc WHAT IF I AM SOMEHOW REPRESSING SEXUAL ATTRACTION BY DENYING BY CALLING IT SENSUAL ATTRACTION.
Like….it is so hard to know if i actually feel sexual attraction of if it is just a strong tertiary attraction ( i don’t think i am feeling both ) i kind of feel like i am just feeling a strong sensual attraction since i am not even able to imagine any sexual scenario with a genuine enjoyment. Heck when i get sexual intrusive thoughts, I CRINGE. But when i cringe, i am somehow ‘’ shaming myself to feel sexual attraction-‘’ BRO….FROM WHO?
I DON’T HAVE ANY CRUSHES TO REPRESS FROM OH MY GODDDD
I don’t feel the need to undressed or be undressed by somebody ( if it is just topless cuddling, i am ok with it Idc, i can like skin to skin contact sometimes. But it isnt a sexual need for me since i just don’t feel the need to do anything sexual with someones body. Sorry for the TMI )
But i am somehow still scared of again….repressing sexual attraction.
Yayyyy, this is just annoying. Cuz, not only is it hard to know which attraction do you feel. Ppl describe sexual attraction as if they are in a SCIENCE LABORATORY.
One says ‘’ it is when you want to have sex with someone
The others goes ‘’ it is not just wanting to have sex with someone, it is an addressed libido with someone and would give you the urge to have sex. it is a pull that you feel towards someone ‘’
And there is this GUY that goes ‘’ it is not an urge or desire to have sex with someone. It is when your animal brain is targeting y’ur potential mate ‘’
……BRO WHAT IS THIS DESCRIPTION????
Like….ppl describe other attractions so easily but when it is sexual attraction, I GENUINELY DON’T GET IT. Like, yeah, it can be bc i don’t relate to it. But…..i don’t get why the descriptions are like this
It is just hard to understand it and can’t even put my finger on what attraction i am feeling even thought in my head i am kind of sure i am feeling sensual attraction but is STILL DOUBTING ON THIS BC OF HOW STRONG IT
And ik what you are thinking ‘’ why ‘’
Idk man, bc it is kind of hard to know what attraction you are feeling.
I experience this with sensual attraction. This attraction is very strong for me and it s sometimes annoying bc it is hard to know if i feel sensual attraction or sexual attraction and i struggle with sexual intrusive thoughts
I would usually have a feeling of wanting to kiss, snuggle or just SQUEEZE somebody ( even though i don’t have a crush. It is more of a i wish to cuddle and kiss )
And i would just never get enough and i would feel like wanting to kiss them more yk. Until i get tired.
But it never gotten to a point of wanting to have sex with them, not even feel the urge to do so.
But after finding out that i have misunderstood sexual attraction this whole time by brain decided to shove sexual intrusive thoughts in my head.
If i want sensual acts my brain would suddenly go ‘’ if you want to kiss someone so much it means you want to lead it to sexual things ‘’
…..Yeah……this is just great
NO O I DON’T WANNA DO THAT. I don’t know if i feel interested in doing that either with someoen tbh. But bc of this intrusive thought, i would be scared of somehow repressing sexual attraction….yayyyyy
Like, my brain would always hit me with ‘’ if you do y like this sexual intrusive thoughts it means that you are shaming yourself on wanting sex and is repressing sexual attraction to ppl ‘’
Which annoys me bc i actually don’t feel like having see with anybody. But i am STILL SCARED of somehow repressing sexual attraction/shaming myself on having sex and worse…..BEING AN INCEL.
Like, i don’t want to repress an attraction, bc i know that feeling attractions and desires are normal. BC IT IS COMMON SENSE. It isnt shameful, it isnt somehow taboo it is just…normal
I know very well it is normal, it is just that i don’t feel the need to do that with someone.
But nooooo, i can’t say that bc WHAT IF I AM SOMEHOW REPRESSING SEXUAL ATTRACTION BY DENYING BY CALLING IT SENSUAL ATTRACTION.
Like….it is so hard to know if i actually feel sexual attraction of if it is just a strong tertiary attraction ( i don’t think i am feeling both ) i kind of feel like i am just feeling a strong sensual attraction since i am not even able to imagine any sexual scenario with a genuine enjoyment. Heck when i get sexual intrusive thoughts, I CRINGE. But when i cringe, i am somehow ‘’ shaming myself to feel sexual attraction-‘’ BRO….FROM WHO?
I DON’T HAVE ANY CRUSHES TO REPRESS FROM OH MY GODDDD
I don’t feel the need to undressed or be undressed by somebody ( if it is just topless cuddling, i am ok with it Idc, i can like skin to skin contact sometimes. But it isnt a sexual need for me since i just don’t feel the need to do anything sexual with someones body. Sorry for the TMI )
But i am somehow still scared of again….repressing sexual attraction.
Yayyyy, this is just annoying. Cuz, not only is it hard to know which attraction do you feel. Ppl describe sexual attraction as if they are in a SCIENCE LABORATORY.
One says ‘’ it is when you want to have sex with someone
The others goes ‘’ it is not just wanting to have sex with someone, it is an addressed libido with someone and would give you the urge to have sex. it is a pull that you feel towards someone ‘’
And there is this GUY that goes ‘’ it is not an urge or desire to have sex with someone. It is when your animal brain is targeting y’ur potential mate ‘’
……BRO WHAT IS THIS DESCRIPTION????
Like….ppl describe other attractions so easily but when it is sexual attraction, I GENUINELY DON’T GET IT. Like, yeah, it can be bc i don’t relate to it. But…..i don’t get why the descriptions are like this
It is just hard to understand it and can’t even put my finger on what attraction i am feeling even thought in my head i am kind of sure i am feeling sensual attraction but is STILL DOUBTING ON THIS BC OF HOW STRONG IT
FEELS AND BEING AFRAID OF SOMEHOW REPRESSING SEXUAL ATTRACTION. So i would just. DOUBT AGAIN.
At this point i am tired. I just wanna Watch my Little pony and make cartoons one day ( maybe you Will know me………)
Like. I wish knowing what attraction you feel is easy. But it is not. Especially when i struggle with intrusive thoughts in a constant level to a point that it looks like it is developping OCD.
So yeah….that sucks. Does anyone relate?
https://redd.it/1nx81ud
@asexualityonreddit
At this point i am tired. I just wanna Watch my Little pony and make cartoons one day ( maybe you Will know me………)
Like. I wish knowing what attraction you feel is easy. But it is not. Especially when i struggle with intrusive thoughts in a constant level to a point that it looks like it is developping OCD.
So yeah….that sucks. Does anyone relate?
https://redd.it/1nx81ud
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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Positive Experience At A Bar
This guy started hanging out with me at a bar. We were talking and singing along to some of the songs. It was kind of a rowdy night. He put his arm around me and instead of making a fake excuse and leaving I told him I was asexual so he might not want to waste his time hitting on me. He said he was okay with not having sex. He just wanted to hang out at the bar with me. I was delightfully shocked. We had fun. Sang some more songs, then went our separate ways.
https://redd.it/1nx94bi
@asexualityonreddit
This guy started hanging out with me at a bar. We were talking and singing along to some of the songs. It was kind of a rowdy night. He put his arm around me and instead of making a fake excuse and leaving I told him I was asexual so he might not want to waste his time hitting on me. He said he was okay with not having sex. He just wanted to hang out at the bar with me. I was delightfully shocked. We had fun. Sang some more songs, then went our separate ways.
https://redd.it/1nx94bi
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the Asexual community
Am i the only one who sometimes feel that having a strong tertiary attraction is kind of annoying? ( i hate these types of posts i am sorry )
And ik what you are thinking ‘’ why ‘’
Idk man, bc it is kind of hard to know what attraction you are feeling.
I experience this with sensual attraction. This attraction is very strong for me and it s sometimes annoying bc it is hard to know if i feel sensual attraction or sexual attraction and i struggle with sexual intrusive thoughts
I would usually have a feeling of wanting to kiss, snuggle or just SQUEEZE somebody ( even though i don’t have a crush. It is more of a i wish to cuddle and kiss )
And i would just never get enough and i would feel like wanting to kiss them more yk. Until i get tired.
But it never gotten to a point of wanting to have sex with them, not even feel the urge to do so.
But after finding out that i have misunderstood sexual attraction this whole time by brain decided to shove sexual intrusive thoughts in my head.
If i want sensual acts my brain would suddenly go ‘’ if you want to kiss someone so much it means you want to lead it to sexual things ‘’
…..Yeah……this is just great
NO O I DON’T WANNA DO THAT. I don’t know if i feel interested in doing that either with someoen tbh. But bc of this intrusive thought, i would be scared of somehow repressing sexual attraction….yayyyyy
Like, my brain would always hit me with ‘’ if you do y like this sexual intrusive thoughts it means that you are shaming yourself on wanting sex and is repressing sexual attraction to ppl ‘’
Which annoys me bc i actually don’t feel like having see with anybody. But i am STILL SCARED of somehow repressing sexual attraction/shaming myself on having sex and worse…..BEING AN INCEL.
Like, i don’t want to repress an attraction, bc i know that feeling attractions and desires are normal. BC IT IS COMMON SENSE. It isnt shameful, it isnt somehow taboo it is just…normal
I know very well it is normal, it is just that i don’t feel the need to do that with someone.
But nooooo, i can’t say that bc WHAT IF I AM SOMEHOW REPRESSING SEXUAL ATTRACTION BY DENYING BY CALLING IT SENSUAL ATTRACTION.
Like….it is so hard to know if i actually feel sexual attraction of if it is just a strong tertiary attraction ( i don’t think i am feeling both ) i kind of feel like i am just feeling a strong sensual attraction since i am not even able to imagine any sexual scenario with a genuine enjoyment. Heck when i get sexual intrusive thoughts, I CRINGE. But when i cringe, i am somehow ‘’ shaming myself to feel sexual attraction-‘’ BRO….FROM WHO?
I DON’T HAVE ANY CRUSHES TO REPRESS FROM OH MY GODDDD
I don’t feel the need to undressed or be undressed by somebody ( if it is just topless cuddling, i am ok with it Idc, i can like skin to skin contact sometimes. But it isnt a sexual need for me since i just don’t feel the need to do anything sexual with someones body. Sorry for the TMI )
But i am somehow still scared of again….repressing sexual attraction.
Yayyyy, this is just annoying. Cuz, not only is it hard to know which attraction do you feel. Ppl describe sexual attraction as if they are in a SCIENCE LABORATORY.
One says ‘’ it is when you want to have sex with someone
The others goes ‘’ it is not just wanting to have sex with someone, it is an addressed libido with someone and would give you the urge to have sex. it is a pull that you feel towards someone ‘’
And there is this GUY that goes ‘’ it is not an urge or desire to have sex with someone. It is when your animal brain is targeting y’ur potential mate ‘’
……BRO WHAT IS THIS DESCRIPTION????
Like….ppl describe other attractions so easily but when it is sexual attraction, I GENUINELY DON’T GET IT. Like, yeah, it can be bc i don’t relate to it. But…..i don’t get why the descriptions are like this
It is just hard to understand it and can’t even put my finger on what attraction i am feeling even thought in my head i am kind of sure i am feeling sensual attraction but is STILL DOUBTING ON THIS BC OF HOW STRONG IT
And ik what you are thinking ‘’ why ‘’
Idk man, bc it is kind of hard to know what attraction you are feeling.
I experience this with sensual attraction. This attraction is very strong for me and it s sometimes annoying bc it is hard to know if i feel sensual attraction or sexual attraction and i struggle with sexual intrusive thoughts
I would usually have a feeling of wanting to kiss, snuggle or just SQUEEZE somebody ( even though i don’t have a crush. It is more of a i wish to cuddle and kiss )
And i would just never get enough and i would feel like wanting to kiss them more yk. Until i get tired.
But it never gotten to a point of wanting to have sex with them, not even feel the urge to do so.
But after finding out that i have misunderstood sexual attraction this whole time by brain decided to shove sexual intrusive thoughts in my head.
If i want sensual acts my brain would suddenly go ‘’ if you want to kiss someone so much it means you want to lead it to sexual things ‘’
…..Yeah……this is just great
NO O I DON’T WANNA DO THAT. I don’t know if i feel interested in doing that either with someoen tbh. But bc of this intrusive thought, i would be scared of somehow repressing sexual attraction….yayyyyy
Like, my brain would always hit me with ‘’ if you do y like this sexual intrusive thoughts it means that you are shaming yourself on wanting sex and is repressing sexual attraction to ppl ‘’
Which annoys me bc i actually don’t feel like having see with anybody. But i am STILL SCARED of somehow repressing sexual attraction/shaming myself on having sex and worse…..BEING AN INCEL.
Like, i don’t want to repress an attraction, bc i know that feeling attractions and desires are normal. BC IT IS COMMON SENSE. It isnt shameful, it isnt somehow taboo it is just…normal
I know very well it is normal, it is just that i don’t feel the need to do that with someone.
But nooooo, i can’t say that bc WHAT IF I AM SOMEHOW REPRESSING SEXUAL ATTRACTION BY DENYING BY CALLING IT SENSUAL ATTRACTION.
Like….it is so hard to know if i actually feel sexual attraction of if it is just a strong tertiary attraction ( i don’t think i am feeling both ) i kind of feel like i am just feeling a strong sensual attraction since i am not even able to imagine any sexual scenario with a genuine enjoyment. Heck when i get sexual intrusive thoughts, I CRINGE. But when i cringe, i am somehow ‘’ shaming myself to feel sexual attraction-‘’ BRO….FROM WHO?
I DON’T HAVE ANY CRUSHES TO REPRESS FROM OH MY GODDDD
I don’t feel the need to undressed or be undressed by somebody ( if it is just topless cuddling, i am ok with it Idc, i can like skin to skin contact sometimes. But it isnt a sexual need for me since i just don’t feel the need to do anything sexual with someones body. Sorry for the TMI )
But i am somehow still scared of again….repressing sexual attraction.
Yayyyy, this is just annoying. Cuz, not only is it hard to know which attraction do you feel. Ppl describe sexual attraction as if they are in a SCIENCE LABORATORY.
One says ‘’ it is when you want to have sex with someone
The others goes ‘’ it is not just wanting to have sex with someone, it is an addressed libido with someone and would give you the urge to have sex. it is a pull that you feel towards someone ‘’
And there is this GUY that goes ‘’ it is not an urge or desire to have sex with someone. It is when your animal brain is targeting y’ur potential mate ‘’
……BRO WHAT IS THIS DESCRIPTION????
Like….ppl describe other attractions so easily but when it is sexual attraction, I GENUINELY DON’T GET IT. Like, yeah, it can be bc i don’t relate to it. But…..i don’t get why the descriptions are like this
It is just hard to understand it and can’t even put my finger on what attraction i am feeling even thought in my head i am kind of sure i am feeling sensual attraction but is STILL DOUBTING ON THIS BC OF HOW STRONG IT
FEELS AND BEING AFRAID OF SOMEHOW REPRESSING SEXUAL ATTRACTION. So i would just. DOUBT AGAIN.
At this point i am tired. I just wanna Watch my Little pony and make cartoons one day ( maybe you Will know me………)
Like. I wish knowing what attraction you feel is easy. But it is not. Especially when i struggle with intrusive thoughts in a constant level to a point that it looks like it is developping OCD.
So yeah….that sucks. Does anyone relate?
https://redd.it/1nxansh
@asexualityonreddit
At this point i am tired. I just wanna Watch my Little pony and make cartoons one day ( maybe you Will know me………)
Like. I wish knowing what attraction you feel is easy. But it is not. Especially when i struggle with intrusive thoughts in a constant level to a point that it looks like it is developping OCD.
So yeah….that sucks. Does anyone relate?
https://redd.it/1nxansh
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
Explore this post and more from the Asexual community
My 30th birthday is coming, and it just hit me that I've never actually liked anyone
I had a few girlfriends in high school when I was skinnier and more attractive, but in those cases, they approached me first and I had a hard time saying no to much of anything back then. This is a weird thing to realize now but oh well. I have tried dating apps off and on in the past five years but they were always full of people that I could never be into it like that. (They have kids, are ENM or are way too different politically and/or socially)
Even having the title of homeowner thrown into my lap really hasn't done much to make me think I want a live-in girlfriend/wife and most definitely am not ever having kids.
https://redd.it/1nxdfxg
@asexualityonreddit
I had a few girlfriends in high school when I was skinnier and more attractive, but in those cases, they approached me first and I had a hard time saying no to much of anything back then. This is a weird thing to realize now but oh well. I have tried dating apps off and on in the past five years but they were always full of people that I could never be into it like that. (They have kids, are ENM or are way too different politically and/or socially)
Even having the title of homeowner thrown into my lap really hasn't done much to make me think I want a live-in girlfriend/wife and most definitely am not ever having kids.
https://redd.it/1nxdfxg
@asexualityonreddit
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Not sure if I am leading the person I am dating on (and obviously don't want to)...
Sorry if this is a bit of a mess.
I've been dating this person for 4 months. They are not ace. I initially turned them down because I wasn't sure if I liked them that way. I then decided why not give it a try but was explicit that it was just a try and assuming they were being honest we both came in with zero expectations.
I have a low social battery and am autistic (big surprise for this subreddit). I also get overwhelmed pretty easily and have severely overcommitted myself this semester (I am a college student). So it's been a battle to see anyone, and though I have friends I would like to see more of, between my workload and my regularly scheduled dates/hang outs with my date, I haven't really had the time to see friends as much as I would have liked to.
We have been long distance for most of the relationship which I honestly think was a good level of interaction haha, I don't have a ton going on in my life by comparison so I just feel like I don't have much to say when I see them basically every other day, so while I really like them and hearing about their life, and it's making me feel a bit inadequate by comparison.
I used to get a spark when we kissed and I think that's dying down for me, and I know that would be solved by seeing them more, but I don't think I have the time/energy for it right now which sucks. I was clear to them that I wanted to take things slow initially and they have been very respectful of that, but I think that's evolved into me initiating everything including date plans. I also know their love language is cuddling and I have a low capacity for that sadly. I also think they could want to have sex eventually, though they aren't in a rush, and I don't know if that is something I would want.
I don't know if I am leading them on, and I don't want to because they are wonderful and I don't want to hurt them. Maybe if I can get settled into the semester and have more energy and then have more time to see them I can grow that spark again. I just know I'd need to see them more often, but I also truly have so little going on in my life that I'm trying not to be codependent or show how boring I am LOL 🤠
Does anyone have any advice? I really DON'T want to hurt them or lead them on so I feel like I should make some sort of decision soon. I'm also worried that I'd lose their friendship by breaking up and also we are unfortunately in the same friend group (terrible idea I know).
I would love advice if anyone has any!
https://redd.it/1nxffjs
@asexualityonreddit
Sorry if this is a bit of a mess.
I've been dating this person for 4 months. They are not ace. I initially turned them down because I wasn't sure if I liked them that way. I then decided why not give it a try but was explicit that it was just a try and assuming they were being honest we both came in with zero expectations.
I have a low social battery and am autistic (big surprise for this subreddit). I also get overwhelmed pretty easily and have severely overcommitted myself this semester (I am a college student). So it's been a battle to see anyone, and though I have friends I would like to see more of, between my workload and my regularly scheduled dates/hang outs with my date, I haven't really had the time to see friends as much as I would have liked to.
We have been long distance for most of the relationship which I honestly think was a good level of interaction haha, I don't have a ton going on in my life by comparison so I just feel like I don't have much to say when I see them basically every other day, so while I really like them and hearing about their life, and it's making me feel a bit inadequate by comparison.
I used to get a spark when we kissed and I think that's dying down for me, and I know that would be solved by seeing them more, but I don't think I have the time/energy for it right now which sucks. I was clear to them that I wanted to take things slow initially and they have been very respectful of that, but I think that's evolved into me initiating everything including date plans. I also know their love language is cuddling and I have a low capacity for that sadly. I also think they could want to have sex eventually, though they aren't in a rush, and I don't know if that is something I would want.
I don't know if I am leading them on, and I don't want to because they are wonderful and I don't want to hurt them. Maybe if I can get settled into the semester and have more energy and then have more time to see them I can grow that spark again. I just know I'd need to see them more often, but I also truly have so little going on in my life that I'm trying not to be codependent or show how boring I am LOL 🤠
Does anyone have any advice? I really DON'T want to hurt them or lead them on so I feel like I should make some sort of decision soon. I'm also worried that I'd lose their friendship by breaking up and also we are unfortunately in the same friend group (terrible idea I know).
I would love advice if anyone has any!
https://redd.it/1nxffjs
@asexualityonreddit
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Has it happened to you?
I don't know if I'm the only one, but it's funny that when I see a woman in Instagram photos and she's dressed in an attractive way it makes me sexually attracted (not sexual desire, just attraction) whether I know her in real life or not, but if I see her in real life all that disappears
https://redd.it/1nxgv0l
@asexualityonreddit
I don't know if I'm the only one, but it's funny that when I see a woman in Instagram photos and she's dressed in an attractive way it makes me sexually attracted (not sexual desire, just attraction) whether I know her in real life or not, but if I see her in real life all that disappears
https://redd.it/1nxgv0l
@asexualityonreddit
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Am I asexual?
So I’m 18 and I’ve been questioning this for a while and I figured posting on here would be the best way to get advice and answers.
I’ve been questioning wether or not I’m asexual for a while since I have little to no interest in the actual act but I’m ok with some forms of physical intimacy, and as a kid I was never curious about my body and things like when I was told being curious was normal.
Sometimes I feel certain things when reading really spicy fanfics but have never felt the want to do ‘it’ with anyone or felt aroused by another person.
But I have SA trauma from when I was around 10, and that has caused breakdowns after trying certain things with people. I have never initiated any sensual acts I’ve been involved with and the sight or thought of certain male body parts kind of disgusts me, but that might be partially because of my trauma.
I feel like the identity asexual fits for me but I’m not sure if I’m asexual or just traumatised or if I can be both.
Just a little more context I am pansexual, so I have like all genders including men so that’s not why certain male body parts kind of disgust me.
I would really appreciate some advice and some answers because I’ve been struggling with this a little.
https://redd.it/1nxhbn9
@asexualityonreddit
So I’m 18 and I’ve been questioning this for a while and I figured posting on here would be the best way to get advice and answers.
I’ve been questioning wether or not I’m asexual for a while since I have little to no interest in the actual act but I’m ok with some forms of physical intimacy, and as a kid I was never curious about my body and things like when I was told being curious was normal.
Sometimes I feel certain things when reading really spicy fanfics but have never felt the want to do ‘it’ with anyone or felt aroused by another person.
But I have SA trauma from when I was around 10, and that has caused breakdowns after trying certain things with people. I have never initiated any sensual acts I’ve been involved with and the sight or thought of certain male body parts kind of disgusts me, but that might be partially because of my trauma.
I feel like the identity asexual fits for me but I’m not sure if I’m asexual or just traumatised or if I can be both.
Just a little more context I am pansexual, so I have like all genders including men so that’s not why certain male body parts kind of disgust me.
I would really appreciate some advice and some answers because I’ve been struggling with this a little.
https://redd.it/1nxhbn9
@asexualityonreddit
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Hard to find ace lesbians
Really hard to meet other ace lesbians. Everytime I find one on an app or discord or forum they ghost me or just don’t reply. I don’t know why they’re like this? I have yet to ever date an ace lesbian. It’s really frustrating. Sometimes I wonder if I should move to a bigger, more diverse city and I’ll find them? I’ve only ever been dating allo lesbians and it’s frustrating and heartbreaking because the dealbreaker always comes down to sex. Yet I long for everything else that comes in a relationship; intimacy, physical touch, communication. I don’t even mind having sex if the other person is getting pleasure out of it, I just don’t. I’m really frustrated that the world places so much importance on sex and no matter how much I try to “fix” myself, the wiring just isn’t there. I’ve tried hormones, therapy, I’ve tried getting into kink, tried toys, whatever else. I just don’t get aroused, I just don’t enjoy sex. Yet I want intimacy so badly, I want to experience a relationship so badly.
Are there any ace lesbians out there who actually want a relationship and who’ll actually respond to messages?
https://redd.it/1nxlrqd
@asexualityonreddit
Really hard to meet other ace lesbians. Everytime I find one on an app or discord or forum they ghost me or just don’t reply. I don’t know why they’re like this? I have yet to ever date an ace lesbian. It’s really frustrating. Sometimes I wonder if I should move to a bigger, more diverse city and I’ll find them? I’ve only ever been dating allo lesbians and it’s frustrating and heartbreaking because the dealbreaker always comes down to sex. Yet I long for everything else that comes in a relationship; intimacy, physical touch, communication. I don’t even mind having sex if the other person is getting pleasure out of it, I just don’t. I’m really frustrated that the world places so much importance on sex and no matter how much I try to “fix” myself, the wiring just isn’t there. I’ve tried hormones, therapy, I’ve tried getting into kink, tried toys, whatever else. I just don’t get aroused, I just don’t enjoy sex. Yet I want intimacy so badly, I want to experience a relationship so badly.
Are there any ace lesbians out there who actually want a relationship and who’ll actually respond to messages?
https://redd.it/1nxlrqd
@asexualityonreddit
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Aceapp trouble
I've been trying to log in for weeks but Aceapp just won't let me no matter what I do! I even tried to uninstall it and install it again, but it's impossible. I tried contacting the help email address but apparently it doesn't exist so the emails aren't getting to them!!! I don't know what else to do.
https://redd.it/1nxmjn3
@asexualityonreddit
I've been trying to log in for weeks but Aceapp just won't let me no matter what I do! I even tried to uninstall it and install it again, but it's impossible. I tried contacting the help email address but apparently it doesn't exist so the emails aren't getting to them!!! I don't know what else to do.
https://redd.it/1nxmjn3
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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can i be sexually attracted to someone while still being repulsed by the actual idea of having sex with them?
i’m so so so confused right now; i have no clue if im asexual or not because yes i do masterbait on occasion and yes some people i do think like oh my they look so good but the actual idea of having sex? god no please keep that far away from me, i find it so painful and not fun in the slightest. ive had some friends say it just hasn’t been done right or that i dont have enough experience 😭 does anyone have any advice
apologies if i wrote this wrong
https://redd.it/1nxqml0
@asexualityonreddit
i’m so so so confused right now; i have no clue if im asexual or not because yes i do masterbait on occasion and yes some people i do think like oh my they look so good but the actual idea of having sex? god no please keep that far away from me, i find it so painful and not fun in the slightest. ive had some friends say it just hasn’t been done right or that i dont have enough experience 😭 does anyone have any advice
apologies if i wrote this wrong
https://redd.it/1nxqml0
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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How do I explain asexual and aromantic to a straight guy
My poor buddy doesn't understand. Hes supportive, has a bunch of queer friends. But when it comes to the As, he doesn't understand.
He does try. He wants to understand asexual and aromantic. I've tried to explain the difference between attractions, but I am ADHD and autistic so explaining things verbally isn't my strong suit. Never has been. He is also ADHD so he has a bit of a learning curve like I do. I've tried to explain how my relationship works with my person. They're aroace and adore me deeply. Im very much head over heels for them and they know it. But they're aromantic and have explained in the past that they lack to capacity to reciprocate. (Totally fine btw, theyre my bff and I respect the hell out of them.) While trying to explain he called it a situationship and I laughed because that's not it all. And I struggled to try and explain it again, but he doesn't understand it, even though he is supportive and trying.
He really gets stuck on aromantic. "Are they able to feel emotions?" And he did feel bad for that comment afterward and took it back. He doesn't understand how someone can't connect romantically with someone else at all. And I'm having a hard time explaining it.
Asexuality he doesn't understand but sort of gets but gets confused about.
I just lack words trying to explain them to a straight guy who is trying his hardest to understand and learn.
https://redd.it/1nxs6mh
@asexualityonreddit
My poor buddy doesn't understand. Hes supportive, has a bunch of queer friends. But when it comes to the As, he doesn't understand.
He does try. He wants to understand asexual and aromantic. I've tried to explain the difference between attractions, but I am ADHD and autistic so explaining things verbally isn't my strong suit. Never has been. He is also ADHD so he has a bit of a learning curve like I do. I've tried to explain how my relationship works with my person. They're aroace and adore me deeply. Im very much head over heels for them and they know it. But they're aromantic and have explained in the past that they lack to capacity to reciprocate. (Totally fine btw, theyre my bff and I respect the hell out of them.) While trying to explain he called it a situationship and I laughed because that's not it all. And I struggled to try and explain it again, but he doesn't understand it, even though he is supportive and trying.
He really gets stuck on aromantic. "Are they able to feel emotions?" And he did feel bad for that comment afterward and took it back. He doesn't understand how someone can't connect romantically with someone else at all. And I'm having a hard time explaining it.
Asexuality he doesn't understand but sort of gets but gets confused about.
I just lack words trying to explain them to a straight guy who is trying his hardest to understand and learn.
https://redd.it/1nxs6mh
@asexualityonreddit
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It's crazy how much I've developed after learning I'm ace
Society tought me I should experience something special, something magical... I've heard many stories of people doing crazy stuff, stuff that I find irresponsible and could not understand.. For the longest time I tought "what's wrong with me"...
I had no idea asexuality was a thing. It might sound crazy, but I had only heard of gay, bi and queer. It's only around 30 years old that I saw everyone with the flags and I wanted to know more out of respect and wanting to be supportive. Never I had known I'd be in for a ride!
So I read about every flag and tried to remember them, I came across the ace flag it sounded familiar, shocking.. I was thrown into a rabbit hole! It's when I first stepped into this subreddit, checked the pin that directed me about everything ace is. I laughed, I was bewildered, asked my best friends to elaborate on their experiences and compared to mine.. It was so clear!
It's when I stopped waiting for something special and decided to experience life as it is. Not only am I less sad about my romantic life, I have become kinder to the people I see being reckless. I stopped waiting and began exploring, driven by curiosity, I am an open investigation to which I keep finding new pieces to play with. And now I know how to approach romance the day I'll feel ready, I'll be honest and wait for someone who crave as much of a partnership as I do.
I won't be waiting for something 'special' anymore, because now I know what truly is special for me!
https://redd.it/1nxrpkv
@asexualityonreddit
Society tought me I should experience something special, something magical... I've heard many stories of people doing crazy stuff, stuff that I find irresponsible and could not understand.. For the longest time I tought "what's wrong with me"...
I had no idea asexuality was a thing. It might sound crazy, but I had only heard of gay, bi and queer. It's only around 30 years old that I saw everyone with the flags and I wanted to know more out of respect and wanting to be supportive. Never I had known I'd be in for a ride!
So I read about every flag and tried to remember them, I came across the ace flag it sounded familiar, shocking.. I was thrown into a rabbit hole! It's when I first stepped into this subreddit, checked the pin that directed me about everything ace is. I laughed, I was bewildered, asked my best friends to elaborate on their experiences and compared to mine.. It was so clear!
It's when I stopped waiting for something special and decided to experience life as it is. Not only am I less sad about my romantic life, I have become kinder to the people I see being reckless. I stopped waiting and began exploring, driven by curiosity, I am an open investigation to which I keep finding new pieces to play with. And now I know how to approach romance the day I'll feel ready, I'll be honest and wait for someone who crave as much of a partnership as I do.
I won't be waiting for something 'special' anymore, because now I know what truly is special for me!
https://redd.it/1nxrpkv
@asexualityonreddit
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Do asexual people find sex disgusting?
I was wondering recently about how asexual relationships are with a partner whos not asexual. Like for example, do any of you guys go through with sex, even if you dont desire it, just for the sake of making your partner feel good? Thanks for the answers!
https://redd.it/1nxol0w
@asexualityonreddit
I was wondering recently about how asexual relationships are with a partner whos not asexual. Like for example, do any of you guys go through with sex, even if you dont desire it, just for the sake of making your partner feel good? Thanks for the answers!
https://redd.it/1nxol0w
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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Where are the asexual men?
I (22F) am writing a paper about the misrepresentation of asexuality in modern media, and saw a study on the gender ratio of Asexual people.
It stated that 27% of ace people identify as female and 72% identify as queergender or non binary.
As an ace person, I thought it unlikely that there are no male asexual people, but when I started thinking about it, I've never actually talked to one (granted, I don't talk to many people, but still)
If you're comfortable, would you comment on what gender you identify with so I can mentally throw this study into the trash can?
https://redd.it/1nxzhjp
@asexualityonreddit
I (22F) am writing a paper about the misrepresentation of asexuality in modern media, and saw a study on the gender ratio of Asexual people.
It stated that 27% of ace people identify as female and 72% identify as queergender or non binary.
As an ace person, I thought it unlikely that there are no male asexual people, but when I started thinking about it, I've never actually talked to one (granted, I don't talk to many people, but still)
If you're comfortable, would you comment on what gender you identify with so I can mentally throw this study into the trash can?
https://redd.it/1nxzhjp
@asexualityonreddit
ace ≠ not having sex... yeah...
maybe it’s a silly thing, but it bothers me a little, because in my case it came up in a discussion about a character.
the point is that he was called asexual, and that actually means a lot to me, because he’s my favorite character, and i feel some kind of stronger connection with him.
but the thing is, many people immediately responded with “actually, being asexual doesn’t mean you don’t have sex at all.” and i get it, yeah, that’s true. but for some people it does mean not having sex at all. i don’t forbid anyone to ship anyone.
but for some asexuals, it really does mean not having sex at all. and it feels a little like there are “right” asexuals, the ones who, if anything, might have sex sometimes, and people look at them and say, oh, they’re just people who don’t always want it, well i don’t always want it either, they’re normal.
and then there are the others, the ones who don’t have sex at all, and those get treated like freaks.
mmm… well yeah, i’m a freak.
https://redd.it/1ny0vvm
@asexualityonreddit
maybe it’s a silly thing, but it bothers me a little, because in my case it came up in a discussion about a character.
the point is that he was called asexual, and that actually means a lot to me, because he’s my favorite character, and i feel some kind of stronger connection with him.
but the thing is, many people immediately responded with “actually, being asexual doesn’t mean you don’t have sex at all.” and i get it, yeah, that’s true. but for some people it does mean not having sex at all. i don’t forbid anyone to ship anyone.
but for some asexuals, it really does mean not having sex at all. and it feels a little like there are “right” asexuals, the ones who, if anything, might have sex sometimes, and people look at them and say, oh, they’re just people who don’t always want it, well i don’t always want it either, they’re normal.
and then there are the others, the ones who don’t have sex at all, and those get treated like freaks.
mmm… well yeah, i’m a freak.
https://redd.it/1ny0vvm
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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