Internal struggles
I really wanna impregnate my fiancée, and she is ready to have a child, as am I. I’m over 30 and I don’t wanna be an older father than I already will. I also wanna have my own child before we start fostering, my question is how do I convince myself to have sex? when I don’t really feel like it, and I feel like a failure which just makes it worse
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I really wanna impregnate my fiancée, and she is ready to have a child, as am I. I’m over 30 and I don’t wanna be an older father than I already will. I also wanna have my own child before we start fostering, my question is how do I convince myself to have sex? when I don’t really feel like it, and I feel like a failure which just makes it worse
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I have to keep track of so many things. I’m really thankful sex isn’t one of them.
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One Non-Sexual Thing You Thought Was Sexual
I feel like having that moment when you realize something was a sexual inuendo when you thought it was about something completely different and wholesome (ex: cake by the ocean) is an asexual cannon event. You can't escape it, but I actually had the opposite once.
I had heard references to "big spoon" and "little spoon", and I assumed it was like "dom" and "sub", but I didn't exactly care to search that shit. One day, when somebody in a Youtube video mentioned it, they showed a picture of two people lying in bed facing the same direction while the one in the back cuddles the one in front like a stuffed animal.
So, the point: What's one thing you assumed was sexual only to find it was completely different/wholesome?
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I feel like having that moment when you realize something was a sexual inuendo when you thought it was about something completely different and wholesome (ex: cake by the ocean) is an asexual cannon event. You can't escape it, but I actually had the opposite once.
I had heard references to "big spoon" and "little spoon", and I assumed it was like "dom" and "sub", but I didn't exactly care to search that shit. One day, when somebody in a Youtube video mentioned it, they showed a picture of two people lying in bed facing the same direction while the one in the back cuddles the one in front like a stuffed animal.
So, the point: What's one thing you assumed was sexual only to find it was completely different/wholesome?
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How do you find books w/o explicit content?
I love reading (mostly fantasy, and I do love a wholesome slow-burn romance), but the sex scenes make me super uncomfortable. I’ve tried skipping over it but it just feels like it’s in 80%+ of the books I’m excited to read (plot sounds good).
What’s something y’all do/use if you want to avoid books without that stuff altogether? Thank you!
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I love reading (mostly fantasy, and I do love a wholesome slow-burn romance), but the sex scenes make me super uncomfortable. I’ve tried skipping over it but it just feels like it’s in 80%+ of the books I’m excited to read (plot sounds good).
What’s something y’all do/use if you want to avoid books without that stuff altogether? Thank you!
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I feel disgusted by adult acts but i cant stop doing it
Me (17GF) have started to feel disgusted by sex everytime i thought of doing it, i dont feel any excitment thinking about doing it and feel disgusted when i see something sexual from nowhere, but when im home alone, specially and morning and night i feel the need to watch adult content but when it ends i feel disgusted of everything, i wish i could just never do that kind of acts again is rlly unconfortable to me, the only moment i dont feel it would be unconfortable if it was with someone im dating and even so i did felt disgusted most of the time i tried, i just felt i did it to pleasure them, not myself, i feel rlly confuse, idk if my problem with adult content means im not assexual or if mean i have an addiction with it since i started watching it in a very young age and now i cant stop
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Me (17GF) have started to feel disgusted by sex everytime i thought of doing it, i dont feel any excitment thinking about doing it and feel disgusted when i see something sexual from nowhere, but when im home alone, specially and morning and night i feel the need to watch adult content but when it ends i feel disgusted of everything, i wish i could just never do that kind of acts again is rlly unconfortable to me, the only moment i dont feel it would be unconfortable if it was with someone im dating and even so i did felt disgusted most of the time i tried, i just felt i did it to pleasure them, not myself, i feel rlly confuse, idk if my problem with adult content means im not assexual or if mean i have an addiction with it since i started watching it in a very young age and now i cant stop
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I had an interesting discussion with my therapist about Asexuality yesterday…
Hi - I’m the “B” in “The BDSM Show”.
Yesterday, my therapist shared that she did not know much about Asexuality, and that she is currently studying Relationship/Family/Marriage therapy under a sex therapist in our area.
She also shared that in instances where there is a couple with a desire discrepancy (aka mismatched libidos), that it common to encourage compromising (insinuating that those with lower libidos compromise by having sex even when they don’t want to, and vice versa for the folks with higher libidos).
She shared that since talking to me and seeing how important my Asexuality is to my identity, she wouldn’t suggest that I compromise because she is also a trauma focused therapist and understands the dangers that come with suppressing components of one’s identity. I am mortified (but not surprised) that compromising is suggested to begin with when mental health professionals aren’t considering that people with low libidos fall may under the Asexual spectrum. I then went to share that suggesting compromising is dangerous because from personal experience, I had a lot of sex that I simply did not want to have because I was compromising.
I shared with her a paper written by Canton Winer titled, “Understanding Asexuality: A Sociological Review”, and I am happy that I was able to introduce her to a perspective that she hadn’t considered before.
On the downside, I am sad (although not surprised) to see that still in 2025, a low sexual libido is pathologized in important settings.
https://redd.it/1nwzfd1
@asexualityonreddit
Hi - I’m the “B” in “The BDSM Show”.
Yesterday, my therapist shared that she did not know much about Asexuality, and that she is currently studying Relationship/Family/Marriage therapy under a sex therapist in our area.
She also shared that in instances where there is a couple with a desire discrepancy (aka mismatched libidos), that it common to encourage compromising (insinuating that those with lower libidos compromise by having sex even when they don’t want to, and vice versa for the folks with higher libidos).
She shared that since talking to me and seeing how important my Asexuality is to my identity, she wouldn’t suggest that I compromise because she is also a trauma focused therapist and understands the dangers that come with suppressing components of one’s identity. I am mortified (but not surprised) that compromising is suggested to begin with when mental health professionals aren’t considering that people with low libidos fall may under the Asexual spectrum. I then went to share that suggesting compromising is dangerous because from personal experience, I had a lot of sex that I simply did not want to have because I was compromising.
I shared with her a paper written by Canton Winer titled, “Understanding Asexuality: A Sociological Review”, and I am happy that I was able to introduce her to a perspective that she hadn’t considered before.
On the downside, I am sad (although not surprised) to see that still in 2025, a low sexual libido is pathologized in important settings.
https://redd.it/1nwzfd1
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Ok soooo, asexuals with strong tertiary attraction, LETS RANT.
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India: 30M4F | Seeking a partner to build a life with
India: 30M4F
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India: 30M4F
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Is it wrong to not want to have sex if you're not asexual?
Hey guys,
I hope that kind of topic fits here. So I don't think I'm asexual since I do feel sexual attraction, mostly towards fictional characters but also rarely towards real people. I have quite a high libido but I don't really have the need nor the want to have sex with someone else. It's ok with myself but only if I'm bored. I'd rather do something else. I also have no problems with sex scenes in shows or books. I actually kinda love them if there are not too many and if they're actually bring the plot forward.
However, the imagination of me having sex is disgusting for me. I don't ever want sex (and I don't think it's my age, I'm literally an adult) and I'm ok with it. Like I said, I really don't feel the need. But everytime I talk to people about it, they insist that I must have some kind of trauma. I don't have any trauma. I'm one of the few extremely lucky women who were never sexually abused or catcalled.
So since I'm not asexual and I do feel sexual attraction, is it really so wrong to not want to have sex? Am I sick or something?
https://redd.it/1nx4db1
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Hey guys,
I hope that kind of topic fits here. So I don't think I'm asexual since I do feel sexual attraction, mostly towards fictional characters but also rarely towards real people. I have quite a high libido but I don't really have the need nor the want to have sex with someone else. It's ok with myself but only if I'm bored. I'd rather do something else. I also have no problems with sex scenes in shows or books. I actually kinda love them if there are not too many and if they're actually bring the plot forward.
However, the imagination of me having sex is disgusting for me. I don't ever want sex (and I don't think it's my age, I'm literally an adult) and I'm ok with it. Like I said, I really don't feel the need. But everytime I talk to people about it, they insist that I must have some kind of trauma. I don't have any trauma. I'm one of the few extremely lucky women who were never sexually abused or catcalled.
So since I'm not asexual and I do feel sexual attraction, is it really so wrong to not want to have sex? Am I sick or something?
https://redd.it/1nx4db1
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This is the image I currently use for my discord profile, is it obvious that is the AroAce flag, one of my freinds said it looks like the genderqueer flag upside down. The second image is the full picture used
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From the asexuality community on Reddit: This is the image I currently use for my discord profile, is it obvious that is the AroAce…
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