Ugh 😩 So true
https://redd.it/1nuuo7a
@asexualityonreddit

I fixed it

https://redd.it/1nuv6bv
@asexualityonreddit

Pro’s and con’s of having your schools main color being purple
https://redd.it/1nuvy4l
@asexualityonreddit

I’ll never meet the “right one”

If you don’t understand asexuality just say that. The pressure to conform when I live like Virgin Mary is UNHINGED. Just think of me as a spider or not at all.



https://redd.it/1nv1iqt
@asexualityonreddit

anyone else feel this way?

I was explaining to my boyfriend about my experience with still feeling sexual desire despite not wanting to act on it due to it feeling like nothing at best and uncomfortable at worst, and I just basically said “it’s like when you want to eat cupcakes but you don’t because you know it’s gonna taste like sour pickles and make you lose your appetite” and he started laughing in a concerned way and said “dude that’s not normal???” He has a high libido, so I guess it’s hard to wrap his head around. So now I’m wondering if I’m alone in this experience or if others also experience asexuality this way. Let me know your thoughts!

https://redd.it/1nv71gc
@asexualityonreddit

I think this fits here too, as a meme for allos
https://redd.it/1nv7i21
@asexualityonreddit

Thank you for being the only subreddit for anyone not purely straight as well as straight that isn’t so hateful and considers more than one possibility.

Seriously.

(Read my bio if that helps you better comment.)


I feel like subreddit does a good job at being nice, kind, respectful and at being willing to consider more than one possibility.

For the Asexual part of me it is that I just don’t want to. Eh. No thanks. Don’t care.

I have tried posting in other lesbian subreddits since we all aren’t in one place; here. But good hell it is tiring with hate and the unwillingness for more than one possibility consideration. It is always insisted must be a trauma reason; can’t be otherwise. But even if it was a trauma reason (Not a trauma reason for me.) it is also not a choice like; hello?… You of all people should know that to those subreddits…


Thank you Asexual Subreddit. I feel accepted here.

As to why don’t see any posts in those other subreddits; I quit trying to there.

Last Edit: Thank you for real. Much love.

https://redd.it/1nva4m5
@asexualityonreddit

Trying to find a middle ground?

My partner (29m) and I (23f) struggle with a balance in how much are active. He only really wants it about 2-3 times a month, I want 2-3 times a week. He isnt asexual, it’s only a speculation, I think this because he often misses very obvious hints and moves (like close touching),etc. however he doesn’t express an interest in labels and i respect that. I felt this sub Reddit could help because It doesn’t come down to me making moves, because I have and it’s gone over his head. I asked him what he was thinking about while being very close and touching his thigh and he was like “about having to grocery shop tomorrow:(“ and I knew he didn’t know. There’s only so many times a girl can get rejected (even if it isn’t really realized). Even when we do, it’s kinda the same 2 variations (positions aren’t really an option, they just don’t work out for us). Its been a long going issue and I’m good at communicating but at this point I hate bringing it up cause I feel like I’m just telling him how terrible he’s doing when I know he is putting in some effort and I know he feels like he’s disappointing in this aspect. We are very open with each other so we’ve talked about everything I mentioned however we have no issues outside of this, a lot of people suggest breaking up but that’s definitely not on the table, I truly don’t think it’s worth that, the problem just affects me emotionally (often getting more irritable, i try to watch out for that). We are absolutely perfect on every other front of our relationship but we’ve discussed how to fix many times and it seems to be not quite working. We just need ideas or advice please:)

https://redd.it/1nvbkjp
@asexualityonreddit

Feeling friend-zoned in my own relationship

My partner is asexual and I used to have lots of physical intimacy in the beginning of our relationship. Then over time things began to fade and it's to the point where physical touch is non-existent. Only after 3.5 years together and getting engaged did she finally tell me she was asexual and now I feel like the rug has been pulled from underneath me.

From this community, a common piece of advice is to have an open discussion with your partner about needs, wants and expectations however it almost always ends up in a heated discussion or argument that doesn't help the situation.

I'm sure people on here are going to hurry to defend or justify the asexual person in my story but it doesn't change the fact that doing the mature thing here by giving them a non-judgmental and safe space to openly discuss our relationship issues and not pressuring them into anything physical there not comfortable with; has had no positive impact on the relationship because in reality I'm the only person in our relationship who's open to talking and can take criticism without getting flustered or shutting down to go conversation. Perhaps I should be posting this on a fourm around Stonewalling in relationships but still, knowing my physical (and now emotional) needs won't be bet is getting too painful to keep going

https://redd.it/1nv9tqh
@asexualityonreddit

Feeling like an imposter around other women

Ever since puberty, I (24f), have felt kind of left out around other girls. I'm wondering if this is a common experience among asexual and aromantic women like me.

When everyone else started being into boys, dating, etc., I just… wasn’t. My friends would constantly ask if I liked anyone and woudl try to set me up with random boys. But I just wasn't interested. This caused me to be excluded form many activities during my teenage years. To this day, I miss how me and my friends would play and talk as children, before they were interested in relationships and sex.

And I want to be clear, it’s not that I don’t feel like a woman. I do, and I’m happy with that. But I don’t feel very girly or womanly in the way other women seem to bond over. So much of what’s considered girlhood or womanhood seems to revolve around dating, sex, relationships. And because I never had those experiences, I end up feeling like an imposter when I’m around other women.

What really gets to me is the way people react when they find out I’ve never dated. A lot of women give you that look of pity, or like oh, no one wants to date you? Or they act like I’m innocent and clueless. It's like, I'm not 11. I just don't wanna be in a relationship or have sex with anyone. But it’s that look in their eyes, like they’ve just realized something is wrong with you.

I used to feel helpful when friends came to me for relationship advice, but now I’m just exhausted. I’m tired of listening to doomed relationships I can’t relate to. It feels like dating and men are the bonding topics, and if you’re not part of that, you’re just less interesting to them.

Does anyone else feel this? Like you don’t quite fit in with other women because you never had those "typical girly" experiences?



https://redd.it/1nve021
@asexualityonreddit

Relationships when you're aroace ... and didn't know yet.

I'm aroace - but when I had my first relationship, I didn't know that yet. I was still in strong belief that I was straight. Everyone else around me had always talked about how desperately they wanted a relationship. So, being a teenager who's always just copied what everyone else does, I just figured I wanted one too. (Spoiler alert: I didn't, but everyone else did, so I thought I had to get into one).

When I had that relationship, I felt like I was forcefully bound to my "partner". Everything felt so forced, I genuinely felt a tight, suffocating feeling in my chest. (Of course, I'm not in a relationship with them anymore, that was years ago) Has anyone else felt this way when they got into a relationship and didn't know they were aroace yet?

https://redd.it/1nvabm2
@asexualityonreddit

Not wanting to feel anything down “there”

19F, I never had a problem with this stuff before, but around April this year I started getting a lot of intrusive thoughts, and it has made everything a lot harder for me to figure out. I don’t want to masturbate at all. The thought of it makes me disgusted. Sex also makes me disgusted, but it’s a lot easier to deal with cause it feels like something that’s really far away and not that relevant, like going to the dentist once a year, you don’t think about it until it’s a week away.

Anyways, I still have feelings in my groin and I guess the correct way to label it is as “something that feels good” even though i don’t like to label it as such because of the extreme anxiety it gives me.

I already know there are a lot of asexual that do masturbate and enjoy that kind of thing. I never really had a need for it before and even now, but my brain keeps telling that it’s something I have to do cause I “enjoy it”. When I tell myself I should do it so my brain stops spinning, I never feel like it, there’s always something else I’d rather do, like reading, drawing or playing video games.

This whole thing has been really hard on me and if I’m completely honest I never EVER wanna do it and I’d rather never feel anything ever again in my groin, but my body tells me something else.

I’m not really sure what to do anymore. And the stress hasn’t gotten any better in the last few months.

The only good that I can say about all this is the fact that I’ve already got an appointment with a therapist. I guess the only reason I’m posting about this is because I feel extremely helpless, and could really use some advice.

Also excuse any grammar mistakes (I’m dyslexic)

https://redd.it/1nvgtq0
@asexualityonreddit

Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**



Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.



**Do any of these resonate with you?**

\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.



These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.



\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)

* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)

https://redd.it/1nvkeso
@asexualityonreddit

Explaining crushes as an asexual to non asexuals is a very interesting experience.

I was talking to my best friend about my guy friend (whom I kinda have a crush on lol), who invited me to his homecoming, and how excited I was about it. I was talking about how he was going to get me a bouquet, corsage, and was even going to match his tie to my dress.

So, of course, I was getting all giggly and blushy, eventually saying, "When he picks me up at my house and I see him, I'm literally going to-"

Then my friend joked, "You're going to make out with him and want to get freaky."

I kind of busted out laughing, kind of caught off guard that she was even thinking that. I was just thinking about how tight I wanted to hug him and the fun time we'd have that night.

Of course, there's absolutely nothing wrong or shameful with her thought process; it was just very different from mine.

So I'm curious, what is your experience explaining crushes as an asexual person to non asexuals? Thanks for reading!

https://redd.it/1nvk3m7
@asexualityonreddit

am i ace?


i, 18F, have had some sexual experiences but i never got to do the deed because my supposedly first time was a complete mess and since then, i didn’t try again and i did felt the need to but not really, because every urge/need for sex that comes up is often related to insecurity i have toward other women around my age being sexually active. and as soon as i start getting intimate with a guy i get grossed out really quickly, even though i was attracted to them at some point. (side note: i used to hyper sexualize myself at an inappropriate age). now, every time i have sexual urges/needs, i just masturbate using a toy, and i’ve never felt so good before buying that toy. i’m very confused because i am attracted to people, but once we get intimate i get grossed out, and i am still very active when i have alone time. can someone help me clarify my feelings?

https://redd.it/1nvlagk
@asexualityonreddit

Is it ok to have sex with my boyfriend and still call myself Asexual ?

I’ve been with my Boyfriend for over 3 years and we’ve gotten intimate multiple times. I’ve identified as asexual for as long as I remember and he’s the only person I’ve ever liked that way (he took my V Card) and I enjoyed it somewhat. Sometimes I’ll just sit there and take it. Idk it’s a on and off kind of things. There will be moments where I’m ok with it and moments where I don’t want to be touched at all. My other Ace friends made me feel bad, telling me since I do get intimate with him I’m not Asexual. So I’m just really confused :,)

https://redd.it/1nvpmyo
@asexualityonreddit

guess who got his asexual pride flag today 🥳

https://redd.it/1nvr0am
@asexualityonreddit