Why do people jump to invalidating your identity?
Tw: brief mentions of sex
Small rant
I’ve noticed casual aphobia is pretty rampant. I’m not saying every single allo that says something aphobic is doing it on purpose, because I know most of the time it’s not, but I can absolutely tell when people are being deliberately obtuse. I don’t discuss my asexuality with people in my real life because I don’t really think it’s their business, I don’t want to have to explain something like asexuality to my family who (while accepting) doesn’t totally understand lgbtq+ identities. But I do discuss it online, and the responses I receive are really strange.
A lot of people jump to invalidating or trying to convince you you’re not asexual. Or making unwarranted suggestions. The amount of times I’ve heard “well, I thought I was asexual then tried XYZ turns out I’m not!” Good for you, but I’m actually asexual. No suggestions you make of things to try will ‘open my eyes’ to the fact that I’m not. it’s just really annoying that some people can’t accept that a group of people just aren’t really into sex or dislike it.
I don’t need your input on my asexuality, I don’t need your suggestions, and I don’t need your commentary. I know my own identity better than you would.
It’s especially annoying because I absolutely gave sex a fair shot at gauging my interest. I started out interested in it when I became sexually active, but I realized I actually didn’t really enjoy it or was interested in it. I was only interested in it because it was shiny and new. So it feels really insulting when people imply I just haven’t done it right or given it a fair shot. I don’t even hate sex or anything, I’m just not interested in it. It feels like a chore to me most of the time, sometimes the idea makes me uncomfortable. I think it’s too much work for too little reward. I only utilize it as a means of connection and intimacy with my partner. I don’t see it as necessary otherwise. If I went the rest of my life never having sex again I’d be perfectly happy with that.
https://redd.it/1npgqw8
@asexualityonreddit
Tw: brief mentions of sex
Small rant
I’ve noticed casual aphobia is pretty rampant. I’m not saying every single allo that says something aphobic is doing it on purpose, because I know most of the time it’s not, but I can absolutely tell when people are being deliberately obtuse. I don’t discuss my asexuality with people in my real life because I don’t really think it’s their business, I don’t want to have to explain something like asexuality to my family who (while accepting) doesn’t totally understand lgbtq+ identities. But I do discuss it online, and the responses I receive are really strange.
A lot of people jump to invalidating or trying to convince you you’re not asexual. Or making unwarranted suggestions. The amount of times I’ve heard “well, I thought I was asexual then tried XYZ turns out I’m not!” Good for you, but I’m actually asexual. No suggestions you make of things to try will ‘open my eyes’ to the fact that I’m not. it’s just really annoying that some people can’t accept that a group of people just aren’t really into sex or dislike it.
I don’t need your input on my asexuality, I don’t need your suggestions, and I don’t need your commentary. I know my own identity better than you would.
It’s especially annoying because I absolutely gave sex a fair shot at gauging my interest. I started out interested in it when I became sexually active, but I realized I actually didn’t really enjoy it or was interested in it. I was only interested in it because it was shiny and new. So it feels really insulting when people imply I just haven’t done it right or given it a fair shot. I don’t even hate sex or anything, I’m just not interested in it. It feels like a chore to me most of the time, sometimes the idea makes me uncomfortable. I think it’s too much work for too little reward. I only utilize it as a means of connection and intimacy with my partner. I don’t see it as necessary otherwise. If I went the rest of my life never having sex again I’d be perfectly happy with that.
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Are You Aro (Advice)?
**Hi everyone!**
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)
* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)
https://redd.it/1npnxc3
@asexualityonreddit
**Hi everyone!**
Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.
**Do any of these resonate with you?**
\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.
\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.
\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.
\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.
These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.
\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!
* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)
* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)
* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)
https://redd.it/1npnxc3
@asexualityonreddit
Just discovering
Hi there! I'm new to the page and just discoved about asexuality. My sister is the one that pointed it out to me, told me what it is and said she believes I may be asexual. We watched a video about it, and everything to do with being asexual just set off bells in my head. It explained a lot about myself and made me think back too. Ive never been sexualy attracted to anyone, Ive had crushes and was in a serious relationship for 8 years.
After we watched I talked more with my sis about it and it just made sense. Ive never felt sexualy attracted to anyone, not even to my ex but I loved him with all my heart though. I'm currently seeing someone but I'm not sexualy attracted to him either. I don't care or want sex. I did have it with my ex but it never really interested me at all, was never really excited for it. I made it seem like I was all in for it but really I wasn't, hell sometimes it was me suggesting to have it, but I just thought that's something couples who love each other do and share.
And in all honesty, say if I wanted sex, i'd just rather go to my romance novels. Thats also what confuses me too. Is it normal, to instead of wanting the actual sex you'd rather just read let's say, a cheesy romance novel that has sex in it?
This is all really new to me, but it feels like a weight was lifted when I learned what asexual is. I always just figured it was because of my depression cuz I know that can lower a sex drive. But even when I'm not having a depressive state, I still don't care or want sex. Ill read about it and that's good enough for me really.
I'm glad my sister brought this up and told me to look into it. So far she and a coworker are the only two people that know and both said there's nothing wrong with it, it's who you are and as long as your happy about it that's what's important. And honestly, so far I am happy with it.
I just wanted to share my own little discovery, and if anyone wants to give any advice Ill be happy to read them. ✌
https://redd.it/1npkvrn
@asexualityonreddit
Hi there! I'm new to the page and just discoved about asexuality. My sister is the one that pointed it out to me, told me what it is and said she believes I may be asexual. We watched a video about it, and everything to do with being asexual just set off bells in my head. It explained a lot about myself and made me think back too. Ive never been sexualy attracted to anyone, Ive had crushes and was in a serious relationship for 8 years.
After we watched I talked more with my sis about it and it just made sense. Ive never felt sexualy attracted to anyone, not even to my ex but I loved him with all my heart though. I'm currently seeing someone but I'm not sexualy attracted to him either. I don't care or want sex. I did have it with my ex but it never really interested me at all, was never really excited for it. I made it seem like I was all in for it but really I wasn't, hell sometimes it was me suggesting to have it, but I just thought that's something couples who love each other do and share.
And in all honesty, say if I wanted sex, i'd just rather go to my romance novels. Thats also what confuses me too. Is it normal, to instead of wanting the actual sex you'd rather just read let's say, a cheesy romance novel that has sex in it?
This is all really new to me, but it feels like a weight was lifted when I learned what asexual is. I always just figured it was because of my depression cuz I know that can lower a sex drive. But even when I'm not having a depressive state, I still don't care or want sex. Ill read about it and that's good enough for me really.
I'm glad my sister brought this up and told me to look into it. So far she and a coworker are the only two people that know and both said there's nothing wrong with it, it's who you are and as long as your happy about it that's what's important. And honestly, so far I am happy with it.
I just wanted to share my own little discovery, and if anyone wants to give any advice Ill be happy to read them. ✌
https://redd.it/1npkvrn
@asexualityonreddit
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TFW you're fed up with how "hear me out" is sometimes followed up with gooner crap
https://redd.it/1npyne4
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I love being AroAce
I found out my sexuality when I was 16. I never went through that phase of wondering what was wrong with me because I was too busy wondering what was wrong with everyone else haha. I always felt completely normal and happy for not feeling even the slightest interest toward relationship and things like that. When I found out about asexuality all I felt was relief and everything clicking into place. Never once did I question it, it just felt absolutely right to me. Sometimes I feel like I want the entire world to know how wonderful it is being ace. It is not a lonely and frightening thing. It is wonderful because of how right it feels to me. Never have I been so certain in my life about something except for this.
I am so happy that my brain does not need or want me to deal with all the drama and complications that come with romantic and sexual relationships. I am perfectly happy with looking for friends and occupying myself with my hobbies. I just don’t even know how to describe it, because it's not exactly joy, but being able to accept my sexuality or lack thereof immediately has brought a lot of peace into my life. I guess the word I am looking for is content.
https://redd.it/1nq1cuo
@asexualityonreddit
I found out my sexuality when I was 16. I never went through that phase of wondering what was wrong with me because I was too busy wondering what was wrong with everyone else haha. I always felt completely normal and happy for not feeling even the slightest interest toward relationship and things like that. When I found out about asexuality all I felt was relief and everything clicking into place. Never once did I question it, it just felt absolutely right to me. Sometimes I feel like I want the entire world to know how wonderful it is being ace. It is not a lonely and frightening thing. It is wonderful because of how right it feels to me. Never have I been so certain in my life about something except for this.
I am so happy that my brain does not need or want me to deal with all the drama and complications that come with romantic and sexual relationships. I am perfectly happy with looking for friends and occupying myself with my hobbies. I just don’t even know how to describe it, because it's not exactly joy, but being able to accept my sexuality or lack thereof immediately has brought a lot of peace into my life. I guess the word I am looking for is content.
https://redd.it/1nq1cuo
@asexualityonreddit
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What do you guys think about the comic strip that I made ?
https://redd.it/1nq2zt0
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1nq2zt0
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Are certain piercings inherently sexual?
Tw: names of body parts
So, some background. I'm a transgender woman who has been on estrogen for a few years now. I'm also ace with no desire for sexual play.
I'm thinking about getting my nipples pierced because I feel like I would like the aesthetic for myself and to help take ownership of that part of my body. I've told a couple friends about these plans and they've all been confused as to why I want them.
Are nipple piercings inherently sexual, and will people assume that I want others to interact with them because I have them?
https://redd.it/1nq3sj6
@asexualityonreddit
Tw: names of body parts
So, some background. I'm a transgender woman who has been on estrogen for a few years now. I'm also ace with no desire for sexual play.
I'm thinking about getting my nipples pierced because I feel like I would like the aesthetic for myself and to help take ownership of that part of my body. I've told a couple friends about these plans and they've all been confused as to why I want them.
Are nipple piercings inherently sexual, and will people assume that I want others to interact with them because I have them?
https://redd.it/1nq3sj6
@asexualityonreddit
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"But you want kids!"
And? Why do aphobic people act like wanting kids suddenly makes you not ace?
If anything, the two are tied together. I see sex as the means to create my biological children/babies. That's it. I feel no other reason or desire to engage in sex other than procreation. And yes, I believe that this view does come from my asexuality.
Also there's plenty of ways to become a parent without having sex. Adoption, surrogacy, fostering. And you can become pregnant without having sex through IVF or artificial insemination.
I'm just tired of people learning I'm ace and then acting like I'm not supposed to want kids. The two can and do coexist.
Oh and DON'T get me started on the "your poor boyfriend" comments I get when I tell people I'm ace, in a relationship and still will only really have sex for procreation. They act like I'm some evil witch withholding some drastic need from him and that I must not really love him. Firstly, I'm 18. I don't "love" anyone, I like him in a romantic sense. Secondly, I'm 18. Why would I have sex and risk getting pregnant this young?
https://redd.it/1nqdmpa
@asexualityonreddit
And? Why do aphobic people act like wanting kids suddenly makes you not ace?
If anything, the two are tied together. I see sex as the means to create my biological children/babies. That's it. I feel no other reason or desire to engage in sex other than procreation. And yes, I believe that this view does come from my asexuality.
Also there's plenty of ways to become a parent without having sex. Adoption, surrogacy, fostering. And you can become pregnant without having sex through IVF or artificial insemination.
I'm just tired of people learning I'm ace and then acting like I'm not supposed to want kids. The two can and do coexist.
Oh and DON'T get me started on the "your poor boyfriend" comments I get when I tell people I'm ace, in a relationship and still will only really have sex for procreation. They act like I'm some evil witch withholding some drastic need from him and that I must not really love him. Firstly, I'm 18. I don't "love" anyone, I like him in a romantic sense. Secondly, I'm 18. Why would I have sex and risk getting pregnant this young?
https://redd.it/1nqdmpa
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