I figured this was funny.
I’ve decided that I shall call my particular brand of asexuality something new.
Essentially what it is, is that sex itself is not something I have any interest in, but the fantasy of sex itself, even with people I might know, is something I very much am interested in.
Hypothetisexual. In reality, would I screw you? Absolutely not. Theoretically, would I screw you? Yes.
You must tickle my fancy, of course, but in a world where I wanted to actually have sex? Yes, you are a candidate. Feel honored. Is there any chance of me acting on the desire to screw you? No, because it’s not there.
Idk, I thought it was funny. 😆😂🤣
https://redd.it/1no5fwh
@asexualityonreddit
I’ve decided that I shall call my particular brand of asexuality something new.
Essentially what it is, is that sex itself is not something I have any interest in, but the fantasy of sex itself, even with people I might know, is something I very much am interested in.
Hypothetisexual. In reality, would I screw you? Absolutely not. Theoretically, would I screw you? Yes.
You must tickle my fancy, of course, but in a world where I wanted to actually have sex? Yes, you are a candidate. Feel honored. Is there any chance of me acting on the desire to screw you? No, because it’s not there.
Idk, I thought it was funny. 😆😂🤣
https://redd.it/1no5fwh
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Can you still be ace if you have a dirty mind?
This might sound like a stupid question, but can you still have a dirty mind and/or a raunchy/suggestive sense of humor if you’re asexual? A friend has questioned if I feel like I’m asexual, and I said I don’t know. I’ve had multiple women come up to me and flirt with me, which I didn’t know what to do. I will still think (and say) I find people attractive/sexy, but would I fuck them? That’s selective, and down to personal preference. I might say “I’d fuck her”, but would I act on it? Still, I don’t know. And I don’t know how I would. I don’t know if that considers me asexual or not.
Tbh I get scared/nervous in situations like that because I have social anxiety and possible ASD. And I become very oblivious, even if it’s just a woman. For reference, I’m a virgin. But I always get performance anxiety, or I am just ace and just don’t know I’m just scared to come out? How I’ve always thought about it was that if I don’t have sex at least once, then I won’t know how it feels. But that’s just my logic.
https://redd.it/1no9765
@asexualityonreddit
This might sound like a stupid question, but can you still have a dirty mind and/or a raunchy/suggestive sense of humor if you’re asexual? A friend has questioned if I feel like I’m asexual, and I said I don’t know. I’ve had multiple women come up to me and flirt with me, which I didn’t know what to do. I will still think (and say) I find people attractive/sexy, but would I fuck them? That’s selective, and down to personal preference. I might say “I’d fuck her”, but would I act on it? Still, I don’t know. And I don’t know how I would. I don’t know if that considers me asexual or not.
Tbh I get scared/nervous in situations like that because I have social anxiety and possible ASD. And I become very oblivious, even if it’s just a woman. For reference, I’m a virgin. But I always get performance anxiety, or I am just ace and just don’t know I’m just scared to come out? How I’ve always thought about it was that if I don’t have sex at least once, then I won’t know how it feels. But that’s just my logic.
https://redd.it/1no9765
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Worst 'Coming Out' Tale Story Time
Warning: Aphobia, Creepy Behavior, Misogyny, Racism? I say so
Sharing a personal story of when I was younger and way too open at a party. It has to happen at least once so you'll learn or you learn by reading first-hand accounts like mine.
When I was around 18 or 19, I went to a party a casual friend of mine was having. Half the group there were familiar faces that I had spent time around in hs (friends of friends or other casual friends. I no longer hang out with anyone from this time period). I can't remember the exact reason why, but I think there was a conversation around hooking up or something. I made the mistake of revealing my sexuality to a random room of people when I answered. I said I didn't hook up and they asked why, I explained I didn't want to. Then more questions were asked.
To this day, this is the only time I have made this mistake. In hindsight, I should have either a. kept quiet during this convo, b. vague answer of not right now/busy, or c. lie. I didn't do any of that and this is what happened.
There was the usual 'a nice relationship and you will...' or 'that's not real' comments. Those were light work. The ones that have stuck with me was when a random girl got in my face and said, 'you just need good d*ck.' Repeatedly. Over and over again. I stg she really said it 3-4X and was basically shouting it through the apartment.
And then there was the guy who was a *friend of a friend who told me I was a 'rich Japanese man's wet dream' and said '[I] could make so much money if [I] sold [my]self' to one🤮🤮🤮 wtf on sooo many levels
*btw this guy wasn't even Asian??extremely out-of-pocket comment to make and I would be disappointed and disgusted if he was my son
I will tell you that this incident was my one, only, and last time I ever was this honest about being asexual in an unfamiliar environment with unfamiliar people. I have had better experiences than this since then in more private one-on-one conversations and my siblings know, but I am not completely 'out.' Currently, I have girls rn who have been my friends for 2-3+ years who still don't know. I've been thinking about telling them recently though. But yeah- don't overshare at parties and don't be scared to speak about yourself with your closest people. Good luck out there people!
🖤🩶🤍💜
https://redd.it/1noaedf
@asexualityonreddit
Warning: Aphobia, Creepy Behavior, Misogyny, Racism? I say so
Sharing a personal story of when I was younger and way too open at a party. It has to happen at least once so you'll learn or you learn by reading first-hand accounts like mine.
When I was around 18 or 19, I went to a party a casual friend of mine was having. Half the group there were familiar faces that I had spent time around in hs (friends of friends or other casual friends. I no longer hang out with anyone from this time period). I can't remember the exact reason why, but I think there was a conversation around hooking up or something. I made the mistake of revealing my sexuality to a random room of people when I answered. I said I didn't hook up and they asked why, I explained I didn't want to. Then more questions were asked.
To this day, this is the only time I have made this mistake. In hindsight, I should have either a. kept quiet during this convo, b. vague answer of not right now/busy, or c. lie. I didn't do any of that and this is what happened.
There was the usual 'a nice relationship and you will...' or 'that's not real' comments. Those were light work. The ones that have stuck with me was when a random girl got in my face and said, 'you just need good d*ck.' Repeatedly. Over and over again. I stg she really said it 3-4X and was basically shouting it through the apartment.
And then there was the guy who was a *friend of a friend who told me I was a 'rich Japanese man's wet dream' and said '[I] could make so much money if [I] sold [my]self' to one🤮🤮🤮 wtf on sooo many levels
*btw this guy wasn't even Asian??extremely out-of-pocket comment to make and I would be disappointed and disgusted if he was my son
I will tell you that this incident was my one, only, and last time I ever was this honest about being asexual in an unfamiliar environment with unfamiliar people. I have had better experiences than this since then in more private one-on-one conversations and my siblings know, but I am not completely 'out.' Currently, I have girls rn who have been my friends for 2-3+ years who still don't know. I've been thinking about telling them recently though. But yeah- don't overshare at parties and don't be scared to speak about yourself with your closest people. Good luck out there people!
🖤🩶🤍💜
https://redd.it/1noaedf
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Being forced or coerced into having children
This is gonna be angry so apologies for that.
I am SICK AND TIRED of every person and fictional character who doesn’t want children being forced into it anyway!! Literally EVERY SINGLE TIME! I get that it’s a big thing to a lot of people but why is it always US who has to give that up?! JUST BREAK UP!! DON’T FORCE THE OTHER PERSON TO CHANGE THEIR MIND! Obviously it’s soooo far out of possibility that someone can simply not want sex or children at all, and not as a product of trauma. However valid that may be, and because it IS valid, it is not a point to be fixed. It is not something to change unless they actually express a genuine want to change it, without being convinced. I wish people would STOP FORCING OTHERS TO WANT KIDS!!
https://redd.it/1no8765
@asexualityonreddit
This is gonna be angry so apologies for that.
I am SICK AND TIRED of every person and fictional character who doesn’t want children being forced into it anyway!! Literally EVERY SINGLE TIME! I get that it’s a big thing to a lot of people but why is it always US who has to give that up?! JUST BREAK UP!! DON’T FORCE THE OTHER PERSON TO CHANGE THEIR MIND! Obviously it’s soooo far out of possibility that someone can simply not want sex or children at all, and not as a product of trauma. However valid that may be, and because it IS valid, it is not a point to be fixed. It is not something to change unless they actually express a genuine want to change it, without being convinced. I wish people would STOP FORCING OTHERS TO WANT KIDS!!
https://redd.it/1no8765
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I'm not ace but
I don't masturbate or have sex but I am attracted to people, idk like I like looking at some of them, there's this girl in my class that is very pleasant to look at, I've caught her looking at me multiple times as well, I think she found me out and is now creeped out?
I don't want to have sex with her, but I do enjoy looking at and talking to her.
And not just girls either, there's this gay dude that everyone says is prettier than most girls and I agree with them, only I don't enjoy looking at him, but I would definitely say I am "attracted" idk.
I mean I don't mind being straight, bi or ace but I just don't think I am any of these things, any thoughts on what I could possibly be?
https://redd.it/1no9e1s
@asexualityonreddit
I don't masturbate or have sex but I am attracted to people, idk like I like looking at some of them, there's this girl in my class that is very pleasant to look at, I've caught her looking at me multiple times as well, I think she found me out and is now creeped out?
I don't want to have sex with her, but I do enjoy looking at and talking to her.
And not just girls either, there's this gay dude that everyone says is prettier than most girls and I agree with them, only I don't enjoy looking at him, but I would definitely say I am "attracted" idk.
I mean I don't mind being straight, bi or ace but I just don't think I am any of these things, any thoughts on what I could possibly be?
https://redd.it/1no9e1s
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Feeling Anxious About Staying Single Due to Not Wanting Intercourse – Seeking Advice on Relationships and Managing Fears
Hi everyone, I’m a 34F looking for advice on navigating relationships and my fears about staying single. I’ve never had intercourse, partly due to past experiences that make me uncomfortable with it, and partly because I just don’t feel drawn to it. I do have sexual urges and masturbate, which feels like enough for me most of the time, but I’m worried this will make it hard to find a lasting relationship.
I really want a meaningful romantic connection, but I’m anxious that most guys will expect sex, and I’m not sure how to bring up my feelings without it being awkward or pushing them away. I’ve tried explaining my boundaries in the past, but I worry I’m not doing it right, or that it’s unfair to expect a partner to be okay with a relationship without intercourse. At the same time, I’m scared of being alone forever if I can’t find someone who’s okay with my preferences.
For those who’ve been in similar situations:
- How do you talk to a partner about not wanting intercourse in a way that feels natural and helps them understand? I want to be honest but also show I’m open to other forms of intimacy.
- How do you deal with the fear of staying single because of this? I keep worrying I’ll never find someone who’s okay with a low/no-sex relationship.
- For guys (or anyone) in relationships with someone who doesn’t want intercourse, how do you make it work? Is it realistic to expect a partner to be okay with this long-term, or am I asking too much?
I’m open to exploring other ways to connect with a partner (like emotional intimacy or non-penetrative stuff), but I’m not sure how to navigate this or find someone compatible. I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been through this, whether you’re in my shoes or a partner who’s navigated something similar. Any tips on managing anxiety, communicating boundaries, or finding the right person would mean a lot. Thanks so much!
https://redd.it/1nojdmv
@asexualityonreddit
Hi everyone, I’m a 34F looking for advice on navigating relationships and my fears about staying single. I’ve never had intercourse, partly due to past experiences that make me uncomfortable with it, and partly because I just don’t feel drawn to it. I do have sexual urges and masturbate, which feels like enough for me most of the time, but I’m worried this will make it hard to find a lasting relationship.
I really want a meaningful romantic connection, but I’m anxious that most guys will expect sex, and I’m not sure how to bring up my feelings without it being awkward or pushing them away. I’ve tried explaining my boundaries in the past, but I worry I’m not doing it right, or that it’s unfair to expect a partner to be okay with a relationship without intercourse. At the same time, I’m scared of being alone forever if I can’t find someone who’s okay with my preferences.
For those who’ve been in similar situations:
- How do you talk to a partner about not wanting intercourse in a way that feels natural and helps them understand? I want to be honest but also show I’m open to other forms of intimacy.
- How do you deal with the fear of staying single because of this? I keep worrying I’ll never find someone who’s okay with a low/no-sex relationship.
- For guys (or anyone) in relationships with someone who doesn’t want intercourse, how do you make it work? Is it realistic to expect a partner to be okay with this long-term, or am I asking too much?
I’m open to exploring other ways to connect with a partner (like emotional intimacy or non-penetrative stuff), but I’m not sure how to navigate this or find someone compatible. I’d love to hear from anyone who’s been through this, whether you’re in my shoes or a partner who’s navigated something similar. Any tips on managing anxiety, communicating boundaries, or finding the right person would mean a lot. Thanks so much!
https://redd.it/1nojdmv
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I just came out to my mom and it went...well?
So I (F18) came out to my mom as AroAce (I mostly mentioned the Ace part, but the Aro part was there too) she didn't knew nothing about that so I had to explain to her plus that I'm romance aversed and sex repulsed (so she doesn't expected me dating or having biological children in the future) and of course what those words mean (the most uncomfortable conversation I ever had with my mom), and when I finish, It seemed like she took it well... and then... she proceeds to give me a talk about safe sex...
I didn't say a lot, more than "I know", "yeah", "I was tought that in school" but it really felt like she hadn’t listened to me at all, or like she didn't care.
It was like "Mom I don't feel sexual attraction and I think sex is gross" My mom: "Yeah, yeah, well, when you have sex..."
It was half funny cuz wtf??? But it also was kinda hurfull.
https://redd.it/1nol54i
@asexualityonreddit
So I (F18) came out to my mom as AroAce (I mostly mentioned the Ace part, but the Aro part was there too) she didn't knew nothing about that so I had to explain to her plus that I'm romance aversed and sex repulsed (so she doesn't expected me dating or having biological children in the future) and of course what those words mean (the most uncomfortable conversation I ever had with my mom), and when I finish, It seemed like she took it well... and then... she proceeds to give me a talk about safe sex...
I didn't say a lot, more than "I know", "yeah", "I was tought that in school" but it really felt like she hadn’t listened to me at all, or like she didn't care.
It was like "Mom I don't feel sexual attraction and I think sex is gross" My mom: "Yeah, yeah, well, when you have sex..."
It was half funny cuz wtf??? But it also was kinda hurfull.
https://redd.it/1nol54i
@asexualityonreddit
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