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Picked this up from the AO3 Memes sub. How true is this of Aces writing fanfics? Whitley Schnee from RWBY
https://redd.it/1ng7m6p
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https://redd.it/1ng7m6p
@asexualityonreddit
I don’t think I want a relationship
I’m in my early 20s. I think Im slowly and painfully coming to the realisation that I genuinely don’t want a relationship. I’m not attracted to anyone in that way. I don’t want to form a family or have kids. I was just scared of being “left out” or lonely so I kept lying to myself. I thought a relationship would solve my loneliness, but it’s not the kind of company I want.
What i DO want instead is lifelong friends, like a platonic life partner even. But I feel like people always place more importance on family/partners. And especially in my early 20s.. I’m scared if I DO start to make genuine friends, they will all just leave me for their partner. It all feels kind of bleak… I don’t know if what I want really is possible or if it’s just idealistic thinking
https://redd.it/1nga317
@asexualityonreddit
I’m in my early 20s. I think Im slowly and painfully coming to the realisation that I genuinely don’t want a relationship. I’m not attracted to anyone in that way. I don’t want to form a family or have kids. I was just scared of being “left out” or lonely so I kept lying to myself. I thought a relationship would solve my loneliness, but it’s not the kind of company I want.
What i DO want instead is lifelong friends, like a platonic life partner even. But I feel like people always place more importance on family/partners. And especially in my early 20s.. I’m scared if I DO start to make genuine friends, they will all just leave me for their partner. It all feels kind of bleak… I don’t know if what I want really is possible or if it’s just idealistic thinking
https://redd.it/1nga317
@asexualityonreddit
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From the Asexual community on Reddit
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Dear r/Asexual,
It's nice to meet you all, I have a few questions and I'm hoping. You might be able to help me with them.
I (19m)have been dating my gf(18f) for coming up on 2 years now. Recently(as in last night) she shared with me that she thinks she may be asexual. Which I have no problem with I don't love her because of her body ya know. Not to say I wasn't a bit shocked for a bit though. But the point is I am doing my best to be supportive and do(/not do) whatever I can to make her most comfortable.
But today she seemed upset and is feeling really guilty, and when I asked why she said it was because she felt she was taking something from me. Everytime I've reconfirmed for her that she isn't and that isn't a quinticential part of our relationship. How can I help her not feel so guilty about it?
And before anyone asks i am not asexual, I just only really have eyes for her but don't want to do anything with her if she doesn't want to.
Thank you for your time any advice on what I can do to help her feel less guilty and like it's ok for that to be true would be greatly appreciated, thanks!!
https://redd.it/1ngchnr
@asexualityonreddit
It's nice to meet you all, I have a few questions and I'm hoping. You might be able to help me with them.
I (19m)have been dating my gf(18f) for coming up on 2 years now. Recently(as in last night) she shared with me that she thinks she may be asexual. Which I have no problem with I don't love her because of her body ya know. Not to say I wasn't a bit shocked for a bit though. But the point is I am doing my best to be supportive and do(/not do) whatever I can to make her most comfortable.
But today she seemed upset and is feeling really guilty, and when I asked why she said it was because she felt she was taking something from me. Everytime I've reconfirmed for her that she isn't and that isn't a quinticential part of our relationship. How can I help her not feel so guilty about it?
And before anyone asks i am not asexual, I just only really have eyes for her but don't want to do anything with her if she doesn't want to.
Thank you for your time any advice on what I can do to help her feel less guilty and like it's ok for that to be true would be greatly appreciated, thanks!!
https://redd.it/1ngchnr
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
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Words are currently limited
Exploring attraction words (plural system thoughts)
Hi! Plural system here. We’ve been thinking about how sexuality only covers sexual attraction, while there are many other kinds of attraction that deserve their own words. We wanted to share some terms we’ve been experimenting with — curious to hear if these resonate with anyone else, or if you’ve seen alternatives.
Sexuality
For us, sexuality = sexual attraction only.
When asked about it, “grey-sexual” fits best. Anything beyond that feels like oversharing, except maybe romance type (since that’s a little more normalized).
Romanticality
Romantic attraction could be called someone’s romanticality.
Feels like a clearer way to separate it from sexuality.
Sensuality (repurposed)
We’d like to separate sensual attraction from sexual attraction.
Cuddling, closeness, touch — those can feel intimate and important without being sexual.
Aestheticality
Aesthetic attraction = someone’s aestheticality.
Emotionity
Emotionality was taken... still directly involved with what we call emotionity for emotional attraction.
Attractionality (umbrella term)
An umbrella for all these types of attraction (sexual, romantic, sensual, aesthetic, emotional, spiritual, etc.) could be attractionality.
It feels easier to describe the whole constellation this way.
Our own attractionality
We’re essentially a trans-punk system full of gender-punk-fluid who is a lesbian sensually, emotionally, aesthetically, spiritually, and in some other ways we don’t fully have words for yet — all toward feminine people.
It’s often easier to say what doesn’t attract us (skip if you wanna\~):
not into cis-men
not into facial hair (stubble does not count)
not into large male bottom parts
not into people with a constant masculine voices and expression, but there are exceptions
What still DOES attract us are people who are mostly physically feminine or non-masculine (in a hard to describe sense — muscles are still attractive) person with a constant deep voice and male attire
Guess what we are saying if you are feminine or are a bend in the right way, we are into you
People that can't hold nuance
people that don't accept and need to "understand" (any understanding is only a perspective)
Kinks and stuff
Some kinks or activities usually labeled “sexual” don’t feel sexual to us at all. That’s part of why we sit at “grey-sexual,” though we know not all grey-sexual people experience it this way.
What do you think?
Do these words work for you? Have you heard or used other terms for these types of attraction?
https://redd.it/1ngdl9d
@asexualityonreddit
Exploring attraction words (plural system thoughts)
Hi! Plural system here. We’ve been thinking about how sexuality only covers sexual attraction, while there are many other kinds of attraction that deserve their own words. We wanted to share some terms we’ve been experimenting with — curious to hear if these resonate with anyone else, or if you’ve seen alternatives.
Sexuality
For us, sexuality = sexual attraction only.
When asked about it, “grey-sexual” fits best. Anything beyond that feels like oversharing, except maybe romance type (since that’s a little more normalized).
Romanticality
Romantic attraction could be called someone’s romanticality.
Feels like a clearer way to separate it from sexuality.
Sensuality (repurposed)
We’d like to separate sensual attraction from sexual attraction.
Cuddling, closeness, touch — those can feel intimate and important without being sexual.
Aestheticality
Aesthetic attraction = someone’s aestheticality.
Emotionity
Emotionality was taken... still directly involved with what we call emotionity for emotional attraction.
Attractionality (umbrella term)
An umbrella for all these types of attraction (sexual, romantic, sensual, aesthetic, emotional, spiritual, etc.) could be attractionality.
It feels easier to describe the whole constellation this way.
Our own attractionality
We’re essentially a trans-punk system full of gender-punk-fluid who is a lesbian sensually, emotionally, aesthetically, spiritually, and in some other ways we don’t fully have words for yet — all toward feminine people.
It’s often easier to say what doesn’t attract us (skip if you wanna\~):
not into cis-men
not into facial hair (stubble does not count)
not into large male bottom parts
not into people with a constant masculine voices and expression, but there are exceptions
What still DOES attract us are people who are mostly physically feminine or non-masculine (in a hard to describe sense — muscles are still attractive) person with a constant deep voice and male attire
Guess what we are saying if you are feminine or are a bend in the right way, we are into you
People that can't hold nuance
people that don't accept and need to "understand" (any understanding is only a perspective)
Kinks and stuff
Some kinks or activities usually labeled “sexual” don’t feel sexual to us at all. That’s part of why we sit at “grey-sexual,” though we know not all grey-sexual people experience it this way.
What do you think?
Do these words work for you? Have you heard or used other terms for these types of attraction?
https://redd.it/1ngdl9d
@asexualityonreddit
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Sexual married to asexual partner
I’ll be honest this isn’t a very nice post so I’ll apologize I just don’t know how to move forward .
My wife is romantic asexual , this is something she just truly accepted after 2 decades of continuous fighting and heart ache. I’ve painted myself as a victim of her low libido / sexuality for many years ; now however I’m trying to be understanding and be kind since I love her .However I don’t know how to deal with my own needs I cannot pretend I don’t need sex and connection through it .Needless to say I now know it’s not her fault but I feel so lost . I absolutely love her and our family but the resentment I feel for my 20 year lack of sexual intimacy and connection lays heavy in my heart.
I guess this is more of a rant , I’m old enough to make a decision ; just know that I’ve changed and I’m sorry for all of you who’s asexuality was treated like some kind of diseases , truly for me it came from ignorance because I can’t imagine a life with out sexual connection .
Anyway thank you and I hope you all find your happily ever after with someone who can love you as you are perfect .
https://redd.it/1ngggtw
@asexualityonreddit
I’ll be honest this isn’t a very nice post so I’ll apologize I just don’t know how to move forward .
My wife is romantic asexual , this is something she just truly accepted after 2 decades of continuous fighting and heart ache. I’ve painted myself as a victim of her low libido / sexuality for many years ; now however I’m trying to be understanding and be kind since I love her .However I don’t know how to deal with my own needs I cannot pretend I don’t need sex and connection through it .Needless to say I now know it’s not her fault but I feel so lost . I absolutely love her and our family but the resentment I feel for my 20 year lack of sexual intimacy and connection lays heavy in my heart.
I guess this is more of a rant , I’m old enough to make a decision ; just know that I’ve changed and I’m sorry for all of you who’s asexuality was treated like some kind of diseases , truly for me it came from ignorance because I can’t imagine a life with out sexual connection .
Anyway thank you and I hope you all find your happily ever after with someone who can love you as you are perfect .
https://redd.it/1ngggtw
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
From the Asexual community on Reddit
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Ya'll am I cooked?
My parents are homophobic and transphobic. They think being gay is a choice, they think that trans people are mentally ill, they are anti-vaxers, my mom thinks that vaccines "enhance autism," and they are becoming more Christian by the day. My mom also told me that I can't have autism because I'm "too smart," but that's a story for another day.
Meanwhile, I, their daughter, am probably autistic, probably have ADHD, a god-hating atheist, and asexual. Half of my friends are trans, autistic, gender questioning, or all 3. And lastly, on Oct. 4, I'm secretly going to a gay pride event at a church with my best friend whose parents are way better than mine.
My question is this: If I ever told my parents I was ace, would I be cooked?
Edit: Thank you for all the support. It's really helped me have more confidence in myself. Also, ya'll ain't saying I'm cooked, ya'll saying I'm deep-fried, dipped in chocolate, with rainbow sprinkles on top.
https://redd.it/1ngeobh
@asexualityonreddit
My parents are homophobic and transphobic. They think being gay is a choice, they think that trans people are mentally ill, they are anti-vaxers, my mom thinks that vaccines "enhance autism," and they are becoming more Christian by the day. My mom also told me that I can't have autism because I'm "too smart," but that's a story for another day.
Meanwhile, I, their daughter, am probably autistic, probably have ADHD, a god-hating atheist, and asexual. Half of my friends are trans, autistic, gender questioning, or all 3. And lastly, on Oct. 4, I'm secretly going to a gay pride event at a church with my best friend whose parents are way better than mine.
My question is this: If I ever told my parents I was ace, would I be cooked?
Edit: Thank you for all the support. It's really helped me have more confidence in myself. Also, ya'll ain't saying I'm cooked, ya'll saying I'm deep-fried, dipped in chocolate, with rainbow sprinkles on top.
https://redd.it/1ngeobh
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My partner is sex neutral to sex repulsed and an SA survivor. Any books or resources I can read to better understand them?
I want my partner to not have to explain themselves constantly to me. I do know about asexuality etc but I’m yet to learn its nuances. So, if anyone knows any resources, please do let me know, thank you :)
https://redd.it/1ngl8g2
@asexualityonreddit
I want my partner to not have to explain themselves constantly to me. I do know about asexuality etc but I’m yet to learn its nuances. So, if anyone knows any resources, please do let me know, thank you :)
https://redd.it/1ngl8g2
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After 5 or less years, I have FINALLY FOUND MY ASEXUALITY 😭😭😭😭😭
https://redd.it/1nggn44
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https://redd.it/1nggn44
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Help me process my feels
I need help processing my feels for several reasons. The biggest one is I’m on the spectrum so I like to outsource these things to the normies 😅 I’m in a relatively new marriage. While we dated I was open and honest about my sexuality (asexual but heteroromantic) and neurodivergence. And we both connected and fell in love.
We both made consensual concessions in regards to sex in our relationship. But I struggle with a capital S. I’m not sex repulsed by any means, I just don’t know how to engage or seduce or flirt. I’m missing those files in my root menu.
So we discussed an opening of the relationship on her side for sexual needs. We talked, discussed, researched, therapy’d. And intellectually I’m on board. Truly and honestly.
But as she’s been going out on dates, my emotions and mental states indicate that subconsciously I am not okay. So what do I do? How do I get my intellect and my heart in alignment? How do I figure out why I’m not okay? Because I don’t know why.
https://redd.it/1ngtpx1
@asexualityonreddit
I need help processing my feels for several reasons. The biggest one is I’m on the spectrum so I like to outsource these things to the normies 😅 I’m in a relatively new marriage. While we dated I was open and honest about my sexuality (asexual but heteroromantic) and neurodivergence. And we both connected and fell in love.
We both made consensual concessions in regards to sex in our relationship. But I struggle with a capital S. I’m not sex repulsed by any means, I just don’t know how to engage or seduce or flirt. I’m missing those files in my root menu.
So we discussed an opening of the relationship on her side for sexual needs. We talked, discussed, researched, therapy’d. And intellectually I’m on board. Truly and honestly.
But as she’s been going out on dates, my emotions and mental states indicate that subconsciously I am not okay. So what do I do? How do I get my intellect and my heart in alignment? How do I figure out why I’m not okay? Because I don’t know why.
https://redd.it/1ngtpx1
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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