Is this an asexual thing or am i crazy??
Whenever someone is interested in me it ABSOLUTELY FREAKS ME OUT. Like i get an unreasonably immense anxiety, stress, fear, you name it. The feeling is like being hunted (literally), all i want to do is run away, hide and never ever see this person ever again which is so stupid because this applies even for people that i generally like and are my friends. Seriously i feel like an antelope that's being prayed on and it's ridiculousss and unfortunately sometimes it has ruined friendships for me. Anyone relate?
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Whenever someone is interested in me it ABSOLUTELY FREAKS ME OUT. Like i get an unreasonably immense anxiety, stress, fear, you name it. The feeling is like being hunted (literally), all i want to do is run away, hide and never ever see this person ever again which is so stupid because this applies even for people that i generally like and are my friends. Seriously i feel like an antelope that's being prayed on and it's ridiculousss and unfortunately sometimes it has ruined friendships for me. Anyone relate?
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How do I explain how I feel attraction to my allosexual partner?
I've known that I am Asexual and alloromantic since 2022. I feel proud for finding a big part of my identity, even if at times I am still figuring it out myself.
My partner of over a year is allosexual and alloromantic. He has known that I am Asexual since before we started dating, and I know that a lot of people aren't very educated on asexuality like I have educated myself, but I feel like he doesn't quite understand in what way I am attracted to him nor do I know how to explain to him in a way that is understandable.
I find him pretty. I find many people aesthetically pleasing. And often I might describe them as hot or pretty to relate better to allosexual people. Do I find him attractive in the sexual way? No! That's in the sexuality silly! I'll crack sex jokes and try to flirt with them because I find it fun. I'm not sex repulsed, but I'm not entirely sex favorable either.
Anyway. He seems to get upset if I imply that I'm not sexually attracted to him. I don't mean it in a malicious way, and I only implied it once or twice, but that was sort of a given when he got into a relationship with me, no? Am I being oblivious to something? I know it might hurt a bit, but that's an entire part of my sexuality being that I feel little to no sexual attraction. Surely there's some kind of awareness after over a year??
How do I explain it? How do I educate?
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I've known that I am Asexual and alloromantic since 2022. I feel proud for finding a big part of my identity, even if at times I am still figuring it out myself.
My partner of over a year is allosexual and alloromantic. He has known that I am Asexual since before we started dating, and I know that a lot of people aren't very educated on asexuality like I have educated myself, but I feel like he doesn't quite understand in what way I am attracted to him nor do I know how to explain to him in a way that is understandable.
I find him pretty. I find many people aesthetically pleasing. And often I might describe them as hot or pretty to relate better to allosexual people. Do I find him attractive in the sexual way? No! That's in the sexuality silly! I'll crack sex jokes and try to flirt with them because I find it fun. I'm not sex repulsed, but I'm not entirely sex favorable either.
Anyway. He seems to get upset if I imply that I'm not sexually attracted to him. I don't mean it in a malicious way, and I only implied it once or twice, but that was sort of a given when he got into a relationship with me, no? Am I being oblivious to something? I know it might hurt a bit, but that's an entire part of my sexuality being that I feel little to no sexual attraction. Surely there's some kind of awareness after over a year??
How do I explain it? How do I educate?
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What is a romantic, sex-free relationship called?
Sorry if this is an extremely obvious question but: What is it called if a relationship is romantic or has romantic elements but is intentionally not a sexual relationship?
It feels weird to just call it a romantic relationship because I think most people will just assume that means it’s also a sexual relationship or used to be one or could be one in the future. QPR also seems wrong because the word platonic is literally in the name but I guess some QPRs can have romantic or romance-coded elements…
Also: Alloaces/ aro-spec aces, what do you call your romantic relationships?
Thx!
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Sorry if this is an extremely obvious question but: What is it called if a relationship is romantic or has romantic elements but is intentionally not a sexual relationship?
It feels weird to just call it a romantic relationship because I think most people will just assume that means it’s also a sexual relationship or used to be one or could be one in the future. QPR also seems wrong because the word platonic is literally in the name but I guess some QPRs can have romantic or romance-coded elements…
Also: Alloaces/ aro-spec aces, what do you call your romantic relationships?
Thx!
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I don't know if this is something people ask on here, but do you think I could be ace?
Hey everyone, I'm not usually one to post something on a forum like this, but thought getting some insight from people who are ace might be helpful, so here I am reaching out to strangers on the internet.
I (19M) grew up relatively sheltered. The sex education I got was really basic like your body is changing, and my health classes were really just nutrition and how to stay healthy. The first time I had even heard the word sex was when I watched a show and a character mentioned wanting it. I immediately asked my parents, and they just said it could be a good thing if done correctly, very vague. They just didn't talk about that stuff, and weren't open to have some of those more difficult conversations with me. During my sophomore year, one of my friends came out as LGBT, so I decided to do my own research. This is where I found out what sex was, as a sophomore in high school.
Originally, I loved the idea of bisexual and thought that was where I was. I spent the summer before my junior year trying out different sexuality labels and gender labels with my friends, and found out that I liked myself just the way I was. I dropped the bisexual label after a year, I think I thought I was bi because I had aesthetic attraction to both genders, or could see myself being close with both.
Recently, I've noticed a huge difference with the way I view relationships. Honestly I should've realized this before. Now that I'm an adult, friends have been telling me about their sex lives and what they find attractive. It just sounded absolutely disgusting, like why would you do that for pleasure?! I've always thought dating was about finding the perfect partner and then raising a family together, at least that's what I've always wanted since I was little.
I remember back in my senior year, when I finally got the courage to ask out the girl I thought would be the perfect partner. She said yes, and then after our first date I realized she wasn't the one I could be with. We did reconnect last year and tried again, but it was clear that it wouldn't work out. I also met an amazing girl this summer, but I don't know if I should pursue an actual relationship despite mutual attraction because of how the last one went (plus she's going to college in a different state).
My biggest desire in life is to find the girl of my dreams and then raise a family. I'm going to school to become a teacher, I love helping kids and want to have some of my own one day. I just don't want to have to go through the whole dating/sex process to get there. It's just that sex piece, like I love hugs and sitting close with people. I had a conversion with my parents on this, and they thought I was crazy. I don't know, do you think there's a chance I could be ace or am I just overcomplicating this?
https://redd.it/1n74j8d
@asexualityonreddit
Hey everyone, I'm not usually one to post something on a forum like this, but thought getting some insight from people who are ace might be helpful, so here I am reaching out to strangers on the internet.
I (19M) grew up relatively sheltered. The sex education I got was really basic like your body is changing, and my health classes were really just nutrition and how to stay healthy. The first time I had even heard the word sex was when I watched a show and a character mentioned wanting it. I immediately asked my parents, and they just said it could be a good thing if done correctly, very vague. They just didn't talk about that stuff, and weren't open to have some of those more difficult conversations with me. During my sophomore year, one of my friends came out as LGBT, so I decided to do my own research. This is where I found out what sex was, as a sophomore in high school.
Originally, I loved the idea of bisexual and thought that was where I was. I spent the summer before my junior year trying out different sexuality labels and gender labels with my friends, and found out that I liked myself just the way I was. I dropped the bisexual label after a year, I think I thought I was bi because I had aesthetic attraction to both genders, or could see myself being close with both.
Recently, I've noticed a huge difference with the way I view relationships. Honestly I should've realized this before. Now that I'm an adult, friends have been telling me about their sex lives and what they find attractive. It just sounded absolutely disgusting, like why would you do that for pleasure?! I've always thought dating was about finding the perfect partner and then raising a family together, at least that's what I've always wanted since I was little.
I remember back in my senior year, when I finally got the courage to ask out the girl I thought would be the perfect partner. She said yes, and then after our first date I realized she wasn't the one I could be with. We did reconnect last year and tried again, but it was clear that it wouldn't work out. I also met an amazing girl this summer, but I don't know if I should pursue an actual relationship despite mutual attraction because of how the last one went (plus she's going to college in a different state).
My biggest desire in life is to find the girl of my dreams and then raise a family. I'm going to school to become a teacher, I love helping kids and want to have some of my own one day. I just don't want to have to go through the whole dating/sex process to get there. It's just that sex piece, like I love hugs and sitting close with people. I had a conversion with my parents on this, and they thought I was crazy. I don't know, do you think there's a chance I could be ace or am I just overcomplicating this?
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Sex scenes in movies
Does anyone else get uncomfortable with sex scenes in movies/tv shows? ESPECIALLY these days when it feels like every single movie has an unprompted or unnecessary sex scene. I’ll never forget watching Oppenheimer and seeing Florence Pugh riding Cillian Murphy. Like… this is a movie about the atomic bomb why the fuck is there a sex scene! I understand that sex sells and most people don’t mind it/like it but it’s literally every single movie. I wanted to get into watching The Boys but it’s basically a porno :/
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Does anyone else get uncomfortable with sex scenes in movies/tv shows? ESPECIALLY these days when it feels like every single movie has an unprompted or unnecessary sex scene. I’ll never forget watching Oppenheimer and seeing Florence Pugh riding Cillian Murphy. Like… this is a movie about the atomic bomb why the fuck is there a sex scene! I understand that sex sells and most people don’t mind it/like it but it’s literally every single movie. I wanted to get into watching The Boys but it’s basically a porno :/
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I'm always surprised when someone is not ace (anyone else think like this?)
So apparently my brain, by default, just assumes that everyone (real ppl and fictional charas) is ace like me. And everytime someone implies otherwise I go surprised Pikachu face
Anyone else have this issue?
Is this an issue?
Should I work on not assuming everyone is ace?
(I don't force this on anyone, or even verbalize it btw. All of this happens in the confines of my own brain but I'm worried about turning into a bigot ig)
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@asexualityonreddit
So apparently my brain, by default, just assumes that everyone (real ppl and fictional charas) is ace like me. And everytime someone implies otherwise I go surprised Pikachu face
Anyone else have this issue?
Is this an issue?
Should I work on not assuming everyone is ace?
(I don't force this on anyone, or even verbalize it btw. All of this happens in the confines of my own brain but I'm worried about turning into a bigot ig)
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Okay, some alloaces SERIOUSLY need to educate themselves on the Split Attraction Model
While most do understand that romantic and sexual attraction are different I've now seen multiple alloromantic asexuals being super weird about the SAM, and I find this very problematic.
The reason I just need to vent about this is a post on here from today, presenting a suggestion for a new aspec flag - aspec, not just asexual - and so many replies on it are from alloaces criticizing it for being a "worse ace flag"... it's NOT an ace flag, it's an aspec flag!
"Aspec" isn't a synonym for "asexual", it covers any identity describing a lack of something; asexual, aromantic, aplatonic, agender, anattractional, etc.
Additionally, I've seen multiple alloaces overall reject the Split Attraction Model for using terms like "platonic attraction" and "familial attraction", calling it "weird" or "creepy" because to them, "attraction" apparently only refers to sexuality or romanticism - it doesn't!
"Attraction" on its own, is simply derived from the Latin word for "pull". Yes, that's all it means. If you feel an urge to be friends with a specific person or love someone as a friend, that is platonic attraction. If you love your family or individual members in a familial way, that is familial attraction.
I find it really problematic how little solidarity some people here show towards other aspec identities, getting hundreds of upvotes while people explaining the SAM are getting downvoted.
Alloaces - be better. Educate yourselves on the SAM, and show some solidarity.
Edit: Just saw a comment on that post that actually made me furious; "Let's not put more than four colors on a flag" - okay, cool, guess we're not supposed to accept the LGBTQ+ pride flag, the gay pride flag, the lesbian pride flag, the aromantic pride flag, the aroace pride flag, etc. - it makes absolutely no sense, but this reminded me that asexuals, too, can be homophobic.
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While most do understand that romantic and sexual attraction are different I've now seen multiple alloromantic asexuals being super weird about the SAM, and I find this very problematic.
The reason I just need to vent about this is a post on here from today, presenting a suggestion for a new aspec flag - aspec, not just asexual - and so many replies on it are from alloaces criticizing it for being a "worse ace flag"... it's NOT an ace flag, it's an aspec flag!
"Aspec" isn't a synonym for "asexual", it covers any identity describing a lack of something; asexual, aromantic, aplatonic, agender, anattractional, etc.
Additionally, I've seen multiple alloaces overall reject the Split Attraction Model for using terms like "platonic attraction" and "familial attraction", calling it "weird" or "creepy" because to them, "attraction" apparently only refers to sexuality or romanticism - it doesn't!
"Attraction" on its own, is simply derived from the Latin word for "pull". Yes, that's all it means. If you feel an urge to be friends with a specific person or love someone as a friend, that is platonic attraction. If you love your family or individual members in a familial way, that is familial attraction.
I find it really problematic how little solidarity some people here show towards other aspec identities, getting hundreds of upvotes while people explaining the SAM are getting downvoted.
Alloaces - be better. Educate yourselves on the SAM, and show some solidarity.
Edit: Just saw a comment on that post that actually made me furious; "Let's not put more than four colors on a flag" - okay, cool, guess we're not supposed to accept the LGBTQ+ pride flag, the gay pride flag, the lesbian pride flag, the aromantic pride flag, the aroace pride flag, etc. - it makes absolutely no sense, but this reminded me that asexuals, too, can be homophobic.
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Media is too big
VIEW IN TELEGRAM
IDK why but I feel like someone here may need to hear this
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