funny way i found out i was ace
when i was around 6-ish, i had a fear of randomly becoming pregnant when you reached adulthood (as in becoming pregnant without sexual contact). i would literally go to bed SHAKING because i knew i would become an adult someday, and that meant surprise baby in my uneducated mind.
at 14, i had heard about asexuality, and the term clicked with me. at that point, i was never sexually attracted to anyone, even while going through puberty.
now, at 17, i feel like my childhood fear of pregnancy had a part in me discovering i was ace. the idea of becoming pregnant still makes me queasy, but i know now that it'll most likely never happen to me.
just a funny story i wanted to share since i was a dumb kid, but i guess it helped in the long run 😅
https://redd.it/1n5l5e5
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when i was around 6-ish, i had a fear of randomly becoming pregnant when you reached adulthood (as in becoming pregnant without sexual contact). i would literally go to bed SHAKING because i knew i would become an adult someday, and that meant surprise baby in my uneducated mind.
at 14, i had heard about asexuality, and the term clicked with me. at that point, i was never sexually attracted to anyone, even while going through puberty.
now, at 17, i feel like my childhood fear of pregnancy had a part in me discovering i was ace. the idea of becoming pregnant still makes me queasy, but i know now that it'll most likely never happen to me.
just a funny story i wanted to share since i was a dumb kid, but i guess it helped in the long run 😅
https://redd.it/1n5l5e5
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Heartstopper Asexuality Representation
As an ace person, I’m really curious to hear people’s thoughts about the aro/ace representation in Heartstopper.
When I discussed my criticism of the show in the main Heartstopper sub, I got a lot of downvotes because, according to them; ‘Isaac is the only aroace character in a romance show’ so ‘of course he wouldn’t have much screentime’. But for me Heartstopper isn’t just a romance show. It explores queerness, friendship, bullying, conformity, (platonic) love, and identity; all themes that are extremely relatable and relevant to aro/ace people. I love the show (have watched it countless times lol) but honestly feel that asexuality could have been explored in a slightly more in-depth and nuanced way.
For me one of my favourite ‘representation’ moments in the show wasn’t actually a scene with Isaac (the openly ace character) but the scene where Nick and Charlie (both allosexual) first discuss sex and Charlie is like, “I’d only want to do it if you did, and if you didn’t ever want to do it, then I wouldn’t either”. I saw people on Twitter saying that dialogue/scene was 'cheesy', 'the bare minimum', 'unrealistic' etc, but for me that line represents the exact kind of healthy communication and affirmation of identity I want to have in my future relationship as an ace person :)
I’m appreciative to see aroace rep in mainstream media, but to be completely honest, I find the rest of the asexual ‘moments’ in Heartstopper a little lacking and overly simple. I was disappointed that much of the aroace discussions in Season 3 felt shoehorned in and as if they didn’t get the same care, time and exploration as all of the other identities represented on the show. Especially when Alice Oseman said she had ‘big ace plans’ for Isaac and because I loved her novel ‘Loveless’…I suppose I was expecting a little more from the show. I also hate that we know very little about Isaac's personality, life, and back story. Kind of feeds into the stereotype of ace people being ‘innocent’, ‘childish’, ‘boring in the bedroom = boring in life’ caricature.
Anyways, sorry for the long post and I’m curious to hear what others think!
Edit: I also want to add that I'm not judging anyone who likes or enjoys the asexual representation on the show! I actually thought the scene where Isaac hugged the Ace book in the library was really, really beautiful, among many other moments :)
https://redd.it/1n5sjdx
@asexualityonreddit
As an ace person, I’m really curious to hear people’s thoughts about the aro/ace representation in Heartstopper.
When I discussed my criticism of the show in the main Heartstopper sub, I got a lot of downvotes because, according to them; ‘Isaac is the only aroace character in a romance show’ so ‘of course he wouldn’t have much screentime’. But for me Heartstopper isn’t just a romance show. It explores queerness, friendship, bullying, conformity, (platonic) love, and identity; all themes that are extremely relatable and relevant to aro/ace people. I love the show (have watched it countless times lol) but honestly feel that asexuality could have been explored in a slightly more in-depth and nuanced way.
For me one of my favourite ‘representation’ moments in the show wasn’t actually a scene with Isaac (the openly ace character) but the scene where Nick and Charlie (both allosexual) first discuss sex and Charlie is like, “I’d only want to do it if you did, and if you didn’t ever want to do it, then I wouldn’t either”. I saw people on Twitter saying that dialogue/scene was 'cheesy', 'the bare minimum', 'unrealistic' etc, but for me that line represents the exact kind of healthy communication and affirmation of identity I want to have in my future relationship as an ace person :)
I’m appreciative to see aroace rep in mainstream media, but to be completely honest, I find the rest of the asexual ‘moments’ in Heartstopper a little lacking and overly simple. I was disappointed that much of the aroace discussions in Season 3 felt shoehorned in and as if they didn’t get the same care, time and exploration as all of the other identities represented on the show. Especially when Alice Oseman said she had ‘big ace plans’ for Isaac and because I loved her novel ‘Loveless’…I suppose I was expecting a little more from the show. I also hate that we know very little about Isaac's personality, life, and back story. Kind of feeds into the stereotype of ace people being ‘innocent’, ‘childish’, ‘boring in the bedroom = boring in life’ caricature.
Anyways, sorry for the long post and I’m curious to hear what others think!
Edit: I also want to add that I'm not judging anyone who likes or enjoys the asexual representation on the show! I actually thought the scene where Isaac hugged the Ace book in the library was really, really beautiful, among many other moments :)
https://redd.it/1n5sjdx
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Thoughts about sex as an asexual
I hate those people who say that sex is the most intimate and spiritual thing you can do with another person or some shit like that... I've seen multiple posts saying this. And it's so fucking stupid. Animals have sex and you're not saying the same thing about it. Sex to humans is like eating and sleeping, we need it to survive (we need sex at certain levels to procreate) but also like to do it for pleasure. (When I say "we" I mean the general population.)
By putting it on such a pedestal like this it erases the idea that people can love each other completely without having sex. It erases asexuality entirely. And removes the idea that romantic attraction can exist on its own without being anything less.
I'm not trying to downplay it and say that sex isn't important, that it doesn't connect people. It probably does I just frankly don't care and don't experience that myself.
As long as it's being done between to consenting people than good for you!
But this shit is purely purity culture. Sex isn't all that great- just another thing animals do.
Idk maybe I'm understanding this wrong but this is what I was thinking about last night staring at my ceiling.
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I hate those people who say that sex is the most intimate and spiritual thing you can do with another person or some shit like that... I've seen multiple posts saying this. And it's so fucking stupid. Animals have sex and you're not saying the same thing about it. Sex to humans is like eating and sleeping, we need it to survive (we need sex at certain levels to procreate) but also like to do it for pleasure. (When I say "we" I mean the general population.)
By putting it on such a pedestal like this it erases the idea that people can love each other completely without having sex. It erases asexuality entirely. And removes the idea that romantic attraction can exist on its own without being anything less.
I'm not trying to downplay it and say that sex isn't important, that it doesn't connect people. It probably does I just frankly don't care and don't experience that myself.
As long as it's being done between to consenting people than good for you!
But this shit is purely purity culture. Sex isn't all that great- just another thing animals do.
Idk maybe I'm understanding this wrong but this is what I was thinking about last night staring at my ceiling.
https://redd.it/1n5s0vu
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Not understanding that not everyone is asexual
In my teen years when people start learning about genitals and sex, I used to think we all just like to joke about sex but not ACCTUALLY do it. I'd make sexual jokes non-stop under the assumption that nobody would acctually do the sex fr. I really thought that everyone was just like me and would never wanna have sex. I thought having a crush was just for shits n giggles too. Like just something to joke about. I'm 22 now and sometimes I still struggle to wrap my mind around it, that people acctually like sex and have crushes and it's not just something funny to joke about.
https://redd.it/1n5qhsx
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In my teen years when people start learning about genitals and sex, I used to think we all just like to joke about sex but not ACCTUALLY do it. I'd make sexual jokes non-stop under the assumption that nobody would acctually do the sex fr. I really thought that everyone was just like me and would never wanna have sex. I thought having a crush was just for shits n giggles too. Like just something to joke about. I'm 22 now and sometimes I still struggle to wrap my mind around it, that people acctually like sex and have crushes and it's not just something funny to joke about.
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My boyfriend doesn't do anything for me unless I have sex with him
Hi, this is a throwaway account. I have been ace for as long as I can remember, but I have been out for about 4 years now. I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now and we don't have sex often. This is due to my medical issues and being ace. He was okay with this until we moved out on our own. Since we have more alone time that we should be having sex at least once a month, but he will backtrack and say it's okay. Now if I ask for help with anything, such as carrying things (I have some weakness), driving, and any other simple things that someone wouldn't feel to make a comment on. These comments are often the lines of "I am not your maid" or something similar then followed up by "I don't say anything about us never having sex". I just been frustrated that I can't be loved or cared for by someone. I apologize if this post isn't allowed, but I needed to vent somewhere with no biased opinion.
https://redd.it/1n5zrsj
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Hi, this is a throwaway account. I have been ace for as long as I can remember, but I have been out for about 4 years now. I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now and we don't have sex often. This is due to my medical issues and being ace. He was okay with this until we moved out on our own. Since we have more alone time that we should be having sex at least once a month, but he will backtrack and say it's okay. Now if I ask for help with anything, such as carrying things (I have some weakness), driving, and any other simple things that someone wouldn't feel to make a comment on. These comments are often the lines of "I am not your maid" or something similar then followed up by "I don't say anything about us never having sex". I just been frustrated that I can't be loved or cared for by someone. I apologize if this post isn't allowed, but I needed to vent somewhere with no biased opinion.
https://redd.it/1n5zrsj
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Making some prehistoric pride dinosaur again, currently still finishing them up and adding ones that have been requested for a while now :D Can you guess what is what?
https://redd.it/1n60inz
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From the Asexual community on Reddit: Making some prehistoric pride dinosaur again, currently still finishing them up and adding…
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Making some prehistoric pride dinosaur again, currently still finishing them up and adding ones that have been requested for a while now (Aro-Ace especially) :D Can you guess what is what?
https://redd.it/1n60m3t
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From the aaaaaaacccccccce community on Reddit: Making some prehistoric pride dinosaur again, currently still finishing them up…
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