My mom is homophobic
My mom has been homophobic my whole life and even before that according to my older siblings. She says that Obama and gay people are the devil in a derogatory way and says to read the bible because according to her interpretation it says God dosen't love gay people and it is a sin to be anything except straight. I came out to her as autosexual and i said it means i love myself in a romantic and sexual way and she says "everybody love themself". And i said not in that way and she calls me crazy and blames it on my schizophrenia. I told her i like boys too because I am also pansexual and she says thats why you went to the mental hospital and that it comes from schizophrenia. I tell her God loves gay people and people are born like that, its not a choice. Then she says it is a choice that people think like that and that no one is born gay. Then she says thats why God made Adam and Eve and thats why gay people are the devil because God did not make gay people but he made only man and woman to love eachother in that way because of Adam and Eve... My older sis said it is pointless to talk to her about pretty much anything and I agree, my mom is a narcicist and is racist, acephobic and homophobic, she hates pretty much anyone who is not heterosexual and believes that not being straight is going against God. She makes the rest of the family so upset and angry including me every day. Should I just give her the silent treatment for the rest of my life, what should I do? She'll force me to talk to her by taking away my belongings, etc. I can't stand her bullcrap.
https://redd.it/1moea9k
@asexualityonreddit
My mom has been homophobic my whole life and even before that according to my older siblings. She says that Obama and gay people are the devil in a derogatory way and says to read the bible because according to her interpretation it says God dosen't love gay people and it is a sin to be anything except straight. I came out to her as autosexual and i said it means i love myself in a romantic and sexual way and she says "everybody love themself". And i said not in that way and she calls me crazy and blames it on my schizophrenia. I told her i like boys too because I am also pansexual and she says thats why you went to the mental hospital and that it comes from schizophrenia. I tell her God loves gay people and people are born like that, its not a choice. Then she says it is a choice that people think like that and that no one is born gay. Then she says thats why God made Adam and Eve and thats why gay people are the devil because God did not make gay people but he made only man and woman to love eachother in that way because of Adam and Eve... My older sis said it is pointless to talk to her about pretty much anything and I agree, my mom is a narcicist and is racist, acephobic and homophobic, she hates pretty much anyone who is not heterosexual and believes that not being straight is going against God. She makes the rest of the family so upset and angry including me every day. Should I just give her the silent treatment for the rest of my life, what should I do? She'll force me to talk to her by taking away my belongings, etc. I can't stand her bullcrap.
https://redd.it/1moea9k
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Starting a relationship with an asexual, thoughtful girl — first time for me with someone like this, and it’s her first relationship ever. Need advice!
Hey Reddit, I’m in a new situation and could really use some advice or perspective.
I recently got closer to a girl who’s asexual (or at least believes she is), very thoughtful, and someone who carefully thinks things through before making decisions. We’ve been friends and talk a lot.
At one point, she joked about us getting married, and I joked back that we should at least go on a couple of dates first. Then she gave me a challenge: if I ever dreamed about us dating, that would mean we’re actually dating — no dates needed.
I told her I had that dream, and she said that means we’re now officially dating.
This isn’t my first relationship, but it would be my first with someone asexual and with her kind of thoughtful, measured nature. It’s also her very first relationship ever. Since she initiated it, it feels real but also a bit overwhelming.
I’m looking for advice on what to expect and how to approach this thoughtfully and respectfully. Has anyone been in a similar situation or have insights on building a meaningful relationship like this?
https://redd.it/1mog139
@asexualityonreddit
Hey Reddit, I’m in a new situation and could really use some advice or perspective.
I recently got closer to a girl who’s asexual (or at least believes she is), very thoughtful, and someone who carefully thinks things through before making decisions. We’ve been friends and talk a lot.
At one point, she joked about us getting married, and I joked back that we should at least go on a couple of dates first. Then she gave me a challenge: if I ever dreamed about us dating, that would mean we’re actually dating — no dates needed.
I told her I had that dream, and she said that means we’re now officially dating.
This isn’t my first relationship, but it would be my first with someone asexual and with her kind of thoughtful, measured nature. It’s also her very first relationship ever. Since she initiated it, it feels real but also a bit overwhelming.
I’m looking for advice on what to expect and how to approach this thoughtfully and respectfully. Has anyone been in a similar situation or have insights on building a meaningful relationship like this?
https://redd.it/1mog139
@asexualityonreddit
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Am I really demi?
I identify as biromantic demisexual,but sometimes I feel like an attention whore.Cause a voice in my head tells me "what if youre straight with more steps",it makes me anxious.
I just feel it's right for me,because ever since I was young I was awful with relationships.I just don't wanna be wrong about myself
https://redd.it/1mogov6
@asexualityonreddit
I identify as biromantic demisexual,but sometimes I feel like an attention whore.Cause a voice in my head tells me "what if youre straight with more steps",it makes me anxious.
I just feel it's right for me,because ever since I was young I was awful with relationships.I just don't wanna be wrong about myself
https://redd.it/1mogov6
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i hate being ace in the modern world
basically i (21nb) have been an asexual for all my life. ive never really had interest in sex or anything related to that. about a year ago i started going out on dates for the first time in my life and i quickly realized being ace (and nonbinary) is very difficult in dating.
every time ive met a new date ive tried my best being honest about my feelings and my wants but still i feel like im not being heard or taken seriously. i was born female and i absolutely hate my chest being sexualized by the people i go out with. it makes me feel so disgusted.
im constantly wondering if theres any innocent love left in the world or is lust and sex all there is? being in a relationship is so much more than that but no matter how much i do for someone my dates always end up turning me down once they realize im not interested in them that way.
theres a possibility i could be demisexual but i haven't had the chance to connect with someone deep enought to find out because people these days want to get intimate very soon and it turns me off completely.
maybe someone has same kinds of thoughs or has experienced something similar? also if youve found partners who are okay with not doing the deed id like to hear your story!
https://redd.it/1mojqaj
@asexualityonreddit
basically i (21nb) have been an asexual for all my life. ive never really had interest in sex or anything related to that. about a year ago i started going out on dates for the first time in my life and i quickly realized being ace (and nonbinary) is very difficult in dating.
every time ive met a new date ive tried my best being honest about my feelings and my wants but still i feel like im not being heard or taken seriously. i was born female and i absolutely hate my chest being sexualized by the people i go out with. it makes me feel so disgusted.
im constantly wondering if theres any innocent love left in the world or is lust and sex all there is? being in a relationship is so much more than that but no matter how much i do for someone my dates always end up turning me down once they realize im not interested in them that way.
theres a possibility i could be demisexual but i haven't had the chance to connect with someone deep enought to find out because people these days want to get intimate very soon and it turns me off completely.
maybe someone has same kinds of thoughs or has experienced something similar? also if youve found partners who are okay with not doing the deed id like to hear your story!
https://redd.it/1mojqaj
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Deep Aversion to Sex (Asexual, Religious) — Am I Alone in This?
I’ve been a very religious person and an actual asexual my whole life (26 years M, might not be relevant but conventionally good-looking) — asexual not due to low libido from medication, hormones etc, but simply never having any desire for sexual intimacy. in other words, asexuality is not a phase for me, but a reality and an existence. At 16, while other males/females were keen on going into bed with their sweethearts, I knew I was very different.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a deep, visceral disgust toward sexual situations such as — hookup culture, “friends with benefits,” sleeping around, and sex before marriage. This reaction is **the same regardless of whether it’s between gay couples, straight couples, etc**. I don’t feel as strongly about sex within marriage for others (while i still do not want to go through that), so I think my aversion comes from a mix of my asexual orientation, being a prude, my strong religious values regarding 'sex outside marriage'.
Recently, I’ve been increasingly disgusted by how pervasive sexual themes are in media and everyday life. These days I’m just like, *“Are people really that depraved?”* when I see:
* The *Bonnie Blue and 1000 Men* documentary
* The *S-Line* Korean drama showing sexual relationships between friends and colleagues, something I find unsettling because it would mirror what happens in real life, just without the “red lines” being visible to us.
* Public interviews where unmarried straight/gay people casually share and glorify their “body counts” "hookups" or answering interview questions "what position is your favorite, etc." "are you top or bottom"
The whole concept of 'being intimate' is embarrassing for me. And I find hearing about sex deeply repulsive. “Sex sells” culture makes it impossible to avoid. I’ve even worried people might assume I’m heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual — that implies a sexual attraction/action is present.
When I watched the Jubilee video *“Do All Asexuals Think the Same?”*, it really warmed my heart to see others who feel like me. It reminded me I’m not alone.
People might think I’m silly or overreacting. Does anyone else here feel the same or relate to the above?
I don't think a lot of people will understand me and it sucks that there aren't more asexual individuals in a world where most people are thinking about/craving 'sex'. My friends and family would think i am probably silly for feeling that way.
https://redd.it/1mootml
@asexualityonreddit
I’ve been a very religious person and an actual asexual my whole life (26 years M, might not be relevant but conventionally good-looking) — asexual not due to low libido from medication, hormones etc, but simply never having any desire for sexual intimacy. in other words, asexuality is not a phase for me, but a reality and an existence. At 16, while other males/females were keen on going into bed with their sweethearts, I knew I was very different.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a deep, visceral disgust toward sexual situations such as — hookup culture, “friends with benefits,” sleeping around, and sex before marriage. This reaction is **the same regardless of whether it’s between gay couples, straight couples, etc**. I don’t feel as strongly about sex within marriage for others (while i still do not want to go through that), so I think my aversion comes from a mix of my asexual orientation, being a prude, my strong religious values regarding 'sex outside marriage'.
Recently, I’ve been increasingly disgusted by how pervasive sexual themes are in media and everyday life. These days I’m just like, *“Are people really that depraved?”* when I see:
* The *Bonnie Blue and 1000 Men* documentary
* The *S-Line* Korean drama showing sexual relationships between friends and colleagues, something I find unsettling because it would mirror what happens in real life, just without the “red lines” being visible to us.
* Public interviews where unmarried straight/gay people casually share and glorify their “body counts” "hookups" or answering interview questions "what position is your favorite, etc." "are you top or bottom"
The whole concept of 'being intimate' is embarrassing for me. And I find hearing about sex deeply repulsive. “Sex sells” culture makes it impossible to avoid. I’ve even worried people might assume I’m heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual — that implies a sexual attraction/action is present.
When I watched the Jubilee video *“Do All Asexuals Think the Same?”*, it really warmed my heart to see others who feel like me. It reminded me I’m not alone.
People might think I’m silly or overreacting. Does anyone else here feel the same or relate to the above?
I don't think a lot of people will understand me and it sucks that there aren't more asexual individuals in a world where most people are thinking about/craving 'sex'. My friends and family would think i am probably silly for feeling that way.
https://redd.it/1mootml
@asexualityonreddit
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Are me and my boyfriend on the ace spectrum?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 3 years, and we've never had sex. We've always had attraction towards each other, especially when we first got together but those feelings have sort of simmered down for both of us over time. We still love each other very much, and are very happy together, but everytime we're together we never think about having sex or really doing anything sexual. I just love spending time with him, cuddling and kissing, but I rarely think of doing anything more. And even when I do have those feelings, I feel like I could never act on them, and he feels the same, saying it's scary to think about. Sometimes I feel like we're being a couple wrong, and we only act like close friends and that makes me sad. We love each other so much and wanna spend the rest of our lives together, and both of us would be perfectly fine never having sex. So, are we asexual? Can you be asexual if you experience attraction but don't really want to act on it?
https://redd.it/1mos2hv
@asexualityonreddit
Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 3 years, and we've never had sex. We've always had attraction towards each other, especially when we first got together but those feelings have sort of simmered down for both of us over time. We still love each other very much, and are very happy together, but everytime we're together we never think about having sex or really doing anything sexual. I just love spending time with him, cuddling and kissing, but I rarely think of doing anything more. And even when I do have those feelings, I feel like I could never act on them, and he feels the same, saying it's scary to think about. Sometimes I feel like we're being a couple wrong, and we only act like close friends and that makes me sad. We love each other so much and wanna spend the rest of our lives together, and both of us would be perfectly fine never having sex. So, are we asexual? Can you be asexual if you experience attraction but don't really want to act on it?
https://redd.it/1mos2hv
@asexualityonreddit
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Not sure what I am.
Hello! I figured I would ask around in this subreddit to get an answer over something.
I have never considered myself to be asexual and I still don't think I am, but lately I feel like I fall under some kind of related or blanket term to it.
In short, I don't feel arousal. I never get "turned on" or horny or anything like that no matter what happens with me. Doesn't matter if it's with someone I don't know, or someone I'm intensely close with... it's just something I don't ever feel.
Despite this, I don't mind sexual acts. I actually lean heavily into them but it's more because I find it fun and amusing over it being for any sexual pleasure. I could care less about being pleasured, I just enjoy seeing how my partner reacts to what I do. I do get a little bored if things take too long but, still.
I write smut as a hobby and as a freelance way to make money, I enjoy writing it, I like learning more about that stuff. I also still feel sexual attraction but... I don't get aroused if I feel it. It's more of a "Oh they're pretty hot" and not a "Oh I want to have sex with them" kind of thing.
In the committed relationship I am in, while I do indulge my partner in his desires, I ultimately just want to be his biggest supporter. I love spending time with him normally and the idea of sex or whatever never once enters my mind during any of it... and if I do tease him, it's because I like how he reacts and little else.
So I'm just confused. I wouldn't want to give up the sexual stuff I do involve myself with, whether it be the smut I write or the stuff I do with my partner or even the artwork I look at from time to time.
And yet in none of those things do I feel aroused. Even for the artwork I just think it looks nice and nothing beyond that. Even for my partner it's for his enjoyment... and mine too, but mine just comes from the fact he is enjoying it.
So... what am I? I don't think I'm asexual given the other stuff but, I just wanna know if there is even a label for this stuff.
https://redd.it/1moseue
@asexualityonreddit
Hello! I figured I would ask around in this subreddit to get an answer over something.
I have never considered myself to be asexual and I still don't think I am, but lately I feel like I fall under some kind of related or blanket term to it.
In short, I don't feel arousal. I never get "turned on" or horny or anything like that no matter what happens with me. Doesn't matter if it's with someone I don't know, or someone I'm intensely close with... it's just something I don't ever feel.
Despite this, I don't mind sexual acts. I actually lean heavily into them but it's more because I find it fun and amusing over it being for any sexual pleasure. I could care less about being pleasured, I just enjoy seeing how my partner reacts to what I do. I do get a little bored if things take too long but, still.
I write smut as a hobby and as a freelance way to make money, I enjoy writing it, I like learning more about that stuff. I also still feel sexual attraction but... I don't get aroused if I feel it. It's more of a "Oh they're pretty hot" and not a "Oh I want to have sex with them" kind of thing.
In the committed relationship I am in, while I do indulge my partner in his desires, I ultimately just want to be his biggest supporter. I love spending time with him normally and the idea of sex or whatever never once enters my mind during any of it... and if I do tease him, it's because I like how he reacts and little else.
So I'm just confused. I wouldn't want to give up the sexual stuff I do involve myself with, whether it be the smut I write or the stuff I do with my partner or even the artwork I look at from time to time.
And yet in none of those things do I feel aroused. Even for the artwork I just think it looks nice and nothing beyond that. Even for my partner it's for his enjoyment... and mine too, but mine just comes from the fact he is enjoying it.
So... what am I? I don't think I'm asexual given the other stuff but, I just wanna know if there is even a label for this stuff.
https://redd.it/1moseue
@asexualityonreddit
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Im not sure exactly what to do here...
Hi! Ive never really posted before so hello but umm yeah. Some background info on me: im a massive people pleaser and have a rough time sticking up for myself and what i need/ defining my boundaries and yeah... But I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm some variation of ace and thats really great and all but I feel like theres no way i can maintain a romantic relationship with any non ace person??? I mean im currently in a relationship and of course hes lovely and so understanding but i still feel this looming weight of ‘well its bound to come up/happen at some point’ I just know sex is not something that I need as a person and thinking about it makes me want to claw my skin off :D but for him its just normal???? I feel like at some point hes going to realize theres someone in the world who would just give that to him but I don't think it can be me and even though I have zero indication of him being any level of upset or frustrated at all with me because of this (hes been very sweet and supportive and honestly perfect but oh well) i cant stop thinking about it and I feel like im going to end up sabatoging a relationship that I absolutely want to keep because on some level I think I feel defective?
Anyways thank you for listening to my slight rant, I think I just needed to say something at all instead of stewing over it again😅
https://redd.it/1moxgpg
@asexualityonreddit
Hi! Ive never really posted before so hello but umm yeah. Some background info on me: im a massive people pleaser and have a rough time sticking up for myself and what i need/ defining my boundaries and yeah... But I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm some variation of ace and thats really great and all but I feel like theres no way i can maintain a romantic relationship with any non ace person??? I mean im currently in a relationship and of course hes lovely and so understanding but i still feel this looming weight of ‘well its bound to come up/happen at some point’ I just know sex is not something that I need as a person and thinking about it makes me want to claw my skin off :D but for him its just normal???? I feel like at some point hes going to realize theres someone in the world who would just give that to him but I don't think it can be me and even though I have zero indication of him being any level of upset or frustrated at all with me because of this (hes been very sweet and supportive and honestly perfect but oh well) i cant stop thinking about it and I feel like im going to end up sabatoging a relationship that I absolutely want to keep because on some level I think I feel defective?
Anyways thank you for listening to my slight rant, I think I just needed to say something at all instead of stewing over it again😅
https://redd.it/1moxgpg
@asexualityonreddit
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Do you guys have any hobbies?
37 F here from the US - discovered I was asexual about 10 years ago.
Just curious: how do you guys spend your free time, if you have any?
For me, I enjoy going to the gym, hiking, trying new recipes, and leather restoration.
What about you guys?
https://redd.it/1mp4uz3
@asexualityonreddit
37 F here from the US - discovered I was asexual about 10 years ago.
Just curious: how do you guys spend your free time, if you have any?
For me, I enjoy going to the gym, hiking, trying new recipes, and leather restoration.
What about you guys?
https://redd.it/1mp4uz3
@asexualityonreddit
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Trying to feel validated
I know its normal to be this but somehow i still feel alien to others and then to myself. Ik i should love myself and all but i wonder what it must be to be so into the other person that i would want to put my face anywhere near them in an intimate way lol. Idk just a rant
https://redd.it/1mp65hx
@asexualityonreddit
I know its normal to be this but somehow i still feel alien to others and then to myself. Ik i should love myself and all but i wonder what it must be to be so into the other person that i would want to put my face anywhere near them in an intimate way lol. Idk just a rant
https://redd.it/1mp65hx
@asexualityonreddit
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Whats the difference between sexual and sensual attraction?
Hello friends!
I (35M) am beginning to think Im ace (heteroromantic sex-repulsed, I guess...? still figuring out). Id like to thank you all for this space and for spreading awareness. Im considering debating this with my therapist in the near future (she already suspects Im a closeted gay because I never mention a girlfriend).
I read the FAQ, the wiki index, and the "questioning" pages, and found them super useful. I have a question, tho.
Could you folks please elaborate on the difference between "sexual attraction" and "sensual attraction"? It is not very clear to me.
Thanks again!
https://redd.it/1mp81hd
@asexualityonreddit
Hello friends!
I (35M) am beginning to think Im ace (heteroromantic sex-repulsed, I guess...? still figuring out). Id like to thank you all for this space and for spreading awareness. Im considering debating this with my therapist in the near future (she already suspects Im a closeted gay because I never mention a girlfriend).
I read the FAQ, the wiki index, and the "questioning" pages, and found them super useful. I have a question, tho.
Could you folks please elaborate on the difference between "sexual attraction" and "sensual attraction"? It is not very clear to me.
Thanks again!
https://redd.it/1mp81hd
@asexualityonreddit
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