What's the longest amount of time you've been in a romantic or queerplatonic relationship?

...

https://redd.it/1mgcek6
@asexualityonreddit

Why, just why
https://redd.it/1mghxqj
@asexualityonreddit

Ace moment
https://redd.it/1mgjh37
@asexualityonreddit

I hate being horny so much
https://redd.it/1mgls9a
@asexualityonreddit

Someone in the chat thing Reddit has must of been lurking because they sent me this about my asexuality … WHAT

First they sent me a paragraph that sums up who I want in a partner and such.


“I wish for a Butch lesbian woman—a cis, asexual-nonsexual soul—who wants me as I am. Who doesn’t care how my pieces fit together as long as I’m good, trying, and true. She handles what I can’t, without resentment or judgment. She has no friends either, because she doesn’t need them. She just wants a life with me, quiet and steady, grateful that we can do anything at all together”

I do wish for that.


Then they said something out of sheer WHHHYYYYY


“But I don’t think you deserve it. Mild autism makes you dumb”


The hell is wrong with some of you people?

https://redd.it/1mgpa2j
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual pirate 🏴‍☠️
https://redd.it/1mgqdtj
@asexualityonreddit

How being GreyAce feels like for me
https://redd.it/1mgspdm
@asexualityonreddit

i feel like im not doing enough to get a partner

i am a 14 year old asexual demipamromantic and i dream of having a partner every day but i feel like im not being social enough to find a partner.

i know that im young and will probably find someone im the future but i feel like if i dont learn how to be social now i will have a hard time finding people in the future im trying to make more friends but because i was never social before im having a hard time making friends or even going to social places.

any advice?

https://redd.it/1mgsixe
@asexualityonreddit

“A relationship without sex is just a friendship”. I compiled a short list why people who say this are dead wrong.

I believe that the only requirement for something to be a romantic relationship is both partners having a romantic bond with one another, nothing else. I acknowledge that none of these bullet points are mandatory criteria for a relationship either, but just wanted to make this list to point out my own personal things that I do with my partner but absolutely do not do with friends, to poke some holes in the “logic” of people who say this kind of thing and get them to maybe think a little. (It’s my own personal list, it’s not meant to apply to everyone.) I understand that some people have much more open friendships with more open affection (especially women’s friendships or queer people) but yeah, this is just my personal experience as a straight guy who lives in a conservative area, where all of this would be seen as unacceptable for me to do with a friend (especially a guy). All of the things written below, I don’t do with friends. (If I do, then rarely!)

I’m a grayace/acespike guy dating an ace girl, for reference.

• I don’t kiss my friends good morning/goodnight every day.

• I don’t sleep in the same bed as my friends and hold them until I fall asleep.

• I don’t affectionately caress my friends, like caressing the face, hair, etc.

• I don’t cuddle my friends.

• My friends don’t sit on my lap and wrap their arms around me.

• My friends don’t lay their head on my chest and listen to my heart in bed.

• My friends don’t lay their head on my lap.

• I don’t consider marrying my friends and sharing the rest of my life with them.

• I don’t go on romantic dates with friends.

• I don’t give a bouquet of flowers to friends on special occasions.

• I don’t go out of my way to look up unique ways to express romance to friends.

• I don’t hold building/car doors open for friends. Maybe every now and then, but not habitually.

• I don’t write love letters/poems to friends.

• I don’t hold my friend’s hand everywhere I go.

• I don’t wrap my arm around friends during a movie or when sitting together.

• I am not aesthetically attracted to friends. I might be able to compliment them and think they look good, but I don’t get crush-like feelings from looking at their beauty. And I don’t experience “having trouble taking my eyes off of them”.

• I don’t kiss my friend’s injuries, wounds, or areas of pain (kissing the head for a headache, etc)

• I don’t caress a friend’s whole pelvic region when they’re cramping on their period.

• I don’t let friends just take hoodies/clothes out of my closet and wear them, especially without pants on. That would be very bizarre.

• I don’t tell friends I love them everyday/ almost everyday. Maybe occasionally or rarely, depending on who it is, but nowhere near as often as with a romantic partner.

•I don’t plan out my entire life with friends, decide where to live together, what lifestyle we want to live together, what dreams and goals we have, what religion we both want to have (or not have), what beliefs we want to share, how we want to handle and budget finances, etc.

• I don’t desire full exclusivity with friends and get jealous if they have other friends.

• I wouldn’t spend thousands of dollars on a ring and wedding for a friend and vow to exclusively spend the rest of my life committed to them and only them.

• And lastly I just don’t have romantic feelings for friends.

Me not inserting my penis into my girlfriend’s vagina magically means it’s not a relationship? What if my penis got cut off in a horrible accident? Are her and I not a relationship anymore? “Well you guys could still do oral sex.” Okay well what if my hands and tongue got chopped off in a horrible accident too? Are we not together anymore, do we just have to be friends and divorce each other and call off the wedding?

What if I have sex with my worst enemy? Are we dating now? Is that how this works?

Why is me interacting with her genitals a requirement for being in a relationship

in a lot of allosexual peoples’ minds? I’m scratching my head here with that one. So you’re telling me, it doesn’t matter how much I have invested in her, it doesn’t matter how much we love each other, it doesn’t matter how loyal we are to each other, or how much romance and affection we have, if I don’t touch her crotch and/or she doesn’t touch mine, that somehow magically means we aren’t in a relationship? 🤨

I don’t understand why touching a genital is a requirement for being in a relationship in some people’s minds. I will never understand that for as long as I live. I guess none of those people would stay loyal to their partner if someone awful happened to their partner, like full body paralysis, or their partner needing a hemicorporectomy done to save their life. That’s sad to think about.

I thought the meaning of love was to sacrifice, be considerate of the other person, commit, and put forth effort to show you care, I didn’t think the meaning of love was “put your penis in my vag”. I must have missed that part in the English dictionary when it’s describing the definition of love. I didn’t see that part.

If someone stimulating my crotch is supposedly a requirement to be in a romantic relationship, then I don’t think I want a relationship. I’ll just stay single. I can stimulate my own crotch just fine.

Edit- I never said anywhere that any of this is mandatory to be a relationship or that other people should do this. This is just my experience. I fully recognize that some romantic relationships do none of these things, and some friendships do all of these things. I’m merely sharing my own personal experience. I didn’t think just because I post my own experience that it has to apply to EVERYONE else on Reddit. This is just stuff that I personally wouldn’t do/don’t do with friends. No need to comment “I do this with my friends”, I already am aware that some people do. I just wrote down how my friendships look different from my relationship.

I should’ve worded the title as “these are the reasons they are wrong for me” I think by leaving out the “for me” part that’s what caused the miscommunication



https://redd.it/1mgsmx5
@asexualityonreddit

Truly one of the hardest things to do
https://redd.it/1mgv3m5
@asexualityonreddit

Hey is it possible to...

Be queerplatonic but also not mind being in a relationship because I would rather have like close friends and roommates (yes plural I'm ambigamous) but I also wouldn't mind being in a relantionship but it's not a BIG goal I'd rather have friends

https://redd.it/1mgzwkg
@asexualityonreddit

When i am saying ‘’ if gonna eat you ‘’ i mean this

https://redd.it/1mgy22e
@asexualityonreddit

(CW: J.K. Rowling being ignorant about asexuals) Old but sadly current.

https://redd.it/1mh1uji
@asexualityonreddit

How do I get my friend to stop recommending me smut???

Ok so, I’ve never posted here but I figured this would be the best place to ask???

Some context, I’m sex disgusted and really don’t enjoy smut at all, and I’m pretty open about this with my friends. It’s really never been an issue until now.

Yesterday, my friend sent me a link to a fanfic marked as explicit and with a LOT of tags that made me really uncomfortable. I didn’t look to closely at it because I quickly clicked off the tab and asked my friend if she meant to send that to me, because it wasn’t for a fandom I’m in and also because I have made it really clear that explicit content makes me uncomfortable.

She said that she did send it to me on purpose, and insisted that it was really not that bad and that I would enjoy it, and kept really pushing me to read it. I reminded her of my boundaries, but she seemed to ignore me and kept saying stuff like “its barely explicit, you won’t even notice it” and “you should be able to handle it because I know you like heavy angst, this is nothing compared to stuff I’ve seen you read”

I eventually told her that I was feeling incredibly uncomfortable and left the conversation. I didn’t check to see if she responded until an hour ago, and saw that she seems really upset with me :( I feel bad because she clearly really wants me to read this so we can discuss it, but I really just don’t want to do that. How do I get her to stop?? I really value her as a friend and I don’t want to make her sad …

https://redd.it/1mh3j3k
@asexualityonreddit

If you're a man, or attractive, you can't be asexual.

It just makes sense, right? Well no, but my mother seems to believe men who are asexual are either rapists or have erectile dysfunction. No possibility of asexuality being a thing. And an old man told me (idc if you see this), and I quote, "But I'm attracted to you, and I'm not attracted to asexuals." KABOO, my asexuality just disappeared. Yours should too if someone is attracted to you. Just try it guys, it'll cure your years of suffering😃👍 Then both tell me they're not aphobes. Mhm, sure.

https://redd.it/1mh75bg
@asexualityonreddit

Does anyone else just assume that no one is attracted to them?

I recently realised that I kind of just assume that no one is attracted to me. This isn’t in a self deprecating way either, it’s not because I think I’m ugly or anything, I just kind of assume people don’t feel that way about me.

Is this a common ace experience? Do you guys feel the same way?

https://redd.it/1mh972f
@asexualityonreddit

“A relationship without sex is just a friendship.” Why do people say this? I’m very confused.

I already posted something like this in another sub but I’m still confused the rationale behind why people say this. Why does “stimulating someone’s junk” equate to “romantic love and a strong bond” and why do some allo people consider it MANDATORY criteria to be considered a relationship? So in some allo people’s minds, in order for my relationship to be considered a romantic one, I must stimulate her crotch frequent enough for their liking? Such as daily or almost daily? (Because we all know if they go too long without sex they start saying it feels like they’re just roommates.) Well, let’s say I did stimulate her crotch daily. What if it didn’t even feel good to her and she hates the sensation? Is that still considered a romantic relationship to allo people? Or does she have to enjoy it? I don’t know, this talking point is confusing me and making my head hurt.

Me not inserting my penis into my girlfriend’s vagina magically means it’s not a relationship? What if my penis got cut off in a horrible accident? Are her and I not a relationship anymore? “Well you guys could still do oral sex.” Okay well what if my hands and tongue got chopped off in a horrible accident too? Are we not together anymore, do we just have to be friends and divorce each other and call off the wedding?

What if I have sex with my worst enemy? Are we dating now? Is that how this works?

Why is me interacting with her genitals a requirement for being in a relationship in a lot of allosexual peoples’ minds? I’m scratching my head here with that one. So you’re telling me, it doesn’t matter how much I have invested in her, it doesn’t matter how much we love each other, it doesn’t matter how loyal we are to each other, or how much romance and affection we have, if I don’t touch her crotch and/or she doesn’t touch mine, that somehow magically means we aren’t in a relationship? 🤨

I don’t understand why touching a genital is a requirement for being in a relationship in some people’s minds. I will never understand that for as long as I live. I guess none of those people would stay loyal to their partner if someone awful happened to their partner, like full body paralysis, or their partner needing a hemicorporectomy done to save their life. That’s sad to think about.

I thought the meaning of love was to sacrifice, be considerate of the other person, commit, and put forth effort to show you care, I didn’t think the meaning of love was “put your penis in my vag”. I must have missed that part in the English dictionary when it’s describing the definition of love. I didn’t see that part.

If someone stimulating my crotch is supposedly a requirement to be in a romantic relationship, then I don’t think I want a relationship. I’ll just stay single. I can stimulate my own crotch just fine.

If anyone can make sense of this and enlighten me on why people say this I would be appreciative because I’ve had several people tell me my relationship isn’t “real” because I don’t checks notes massage her clitoris? I guess? Not sure why that’s a requirement, what about just a normal back/shoulder massage? Her and I would both much rather do that.

https://redd.it/1mhcr6l
@asexualityonreddit