Ok it's a rant but more like a ugh do I have to identify myself rant
So I recently went to LGBTQ community thing I was the only person with the he pronouns. I didn't say I'm asexual because I don't really feel the need to identify myself and I'm not out to my coworkers or family and only 2 people in my life are aware.
So I don't broadcast it even if my coworkers wouldn't care it would be a violation of the unspoken separation of life and work rule.
My friends and family would probably have a million questions and make it into a big deal I would be defined by my asexuality.
So yeah I realize that I seem to be getting kind of pushed to the edge like I'm hitting a fence. One of them tells me they're a lesbian and I'm just like ok cool. afterwards I started to think about it and realized she probably wanted me to identify myself.
I'm just miffed like I get why they are cautious with men but I really don't want to feel like I need to wear an ace flag pin or something. O well I guess keep going until they realize I'm not trying to sleep with them or something else.
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So I recently went to LGBTQ community thing I was the only person with the he pronouns. I didn't say I'm asexual because I don't really feel the need to identify myself and I'm not out to my coworkers or family and only 2 people in my life are aware.
So I don't broadcast it even if my coworkers wouldn't care it would be a violation of the unspoken separation of life and work rule.
My friends and family would probably have a million questions and make it into a big deal I would be defined by my asexuality.
So yeah I realize that I seem to be getting kind of pushed to the edge like I'm hitting a fence. One of them tells me they're a lesbian and I'm just like ok cool. afterwards I started to think about it and realized she probably wanted me to identify myself.
I'm just miffed like I get why they are cautious with men but I really don't want to feel like I need to wear an ace flag pin or something. O well I guess keep going until they realize I'm not trying to sleep with them or something else.
https://redd.it/1me8z5i
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How feasible is it to live with a best friend?
I’ve known my best friend (we’re both women btw) for about 13 years now, and she’s amazing. When we were younger, we’d joke that we’d live together someday.
Well, we’re in college now. The other day, she asked me if I’d want to own a house or share an apartment with her some day—as in, we’d grow old together, raise some cats along the way—and I told her, truthfully, that it sounds amazing. She’s aroace, so she’s never planning on getting married or having children.
As for me, it’s odd. I’m asexual, but not quite aromantic. I’ve had crushes (rarely, though), I’ve been on dates and I’ve felt the butterflies, but I’ve never had a boyfriend, and I’m not interested in marriage or children either. Honestly, I’ve never felt as comfortable with or as connected to someone as I do with my best friend. She’s the only person I can hang out with for days on end and not get bored or end up feeling drained. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel like dating anyone. So, I would love to live with her for the rest of my days.
But it seems like that’s just… not a thing people do? I’ve seen people who are married with children, who are married/dating but without children, who live alone, who live with their friends until they can move out, but never someone who lives with their best friend permanently. I know it’s early to be thinking about any of this, but still, is it possible? Are we just weird?
https://redd.it/1men1pl
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I’ve known my best friend (we’re both women btw) for about 13 years now, and she’s amazing. When we were younger, we’d joke that we’d live together someday.
Well, we’re in college now. The other day, she asked me if I’d want to own a house or share an apartment with her some day—as in, we’d grow old together, raise some cats along the way—and I told her, truthfully, that it sounds amazing. She’s aroace, so she’s never planning on getting married or having children.
As for me, it’s odd. I’m asexual, but not quite aromantic. I’ve had crushes (rarely, though), I’ve been on dates and I’ve felt the butterflies, but I’ve never had a boyfriend, and I’m not interested in marriage or children either. Honestly, I’ve never felt as comfortable with or as connected to someone as I do with my best friend. She’s the only person I can hang out with for days on end and not get bored or end up feeling drained. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel like dating anyone. So, I would love to live with her for the rest of my days.
But it seems like that’s just… not a thing people do? I’ve seen people who are married with children, who are married/dating but without children, who live alone, who live with their friends until they can move out, but never someone who lives with their best friend permanently. I know it’s early to be thinking about any of this, but still, is it possible? Are we just weird?
https://redd.it/1men1pl
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Sharing all of my asexual pride pins, including my new oyster 💜do you have a favourite?
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Stop it with these posts - PLEASE
Vented about this before, but seeing more posts like that again I couldn't keep quiet.
Okay, alloromantic asexuals - how would you feel about an allosexual saying something like "I wish I was asexual, everything would be SO much easier if I didn't have any sexual desires"?
I'd assume you wouldn't like it, correct? You wouldn't like it because such a person would be ignoring the struggles of being asexual while also not fully understanding what asexuality even is. And rightfully so, because it subtly invalidates your identity, making it out to be something that makes your life easier, when it's not.
Why then do I see at least one post every week or so being like "I wish I was also aromantic, being aroace would be sooooo much easier because I just wouldn't care for romance nor crave affection"???
Saying that is just as insensitive and invalidating as an allosexual saying they wished they were ace. It completely ignores the struggles of being aromantic while also misrepresenting it.
Being aroace is NOT easy. On top of feeling broken for not experiencing sexual attraction like most people aroaces also lack normative romantic attraction. It's an additional factor that can make them feel even more alienated by society.
And it's not all black and white either; aromantics CAN care for romance. Aromantics CAN desire romance. Aromantics CAN desire affection - try explaining to someone how you want to date them, but won't love them back the same way they do. Try explaining to someone how you want affection and emotional closeness, but don't want it to be romantic.
I implore you, stop making posts like that and even more so, stop thinking that way. It's hurtful, invalidating, and yes, it's low-key arophobic.
https://redd.it/1mesqdp
@asexualityonreddit
Vented about this before, but seeing more posts like that again I couldn't keep quiet.
Okay, alloromantic asexuals - how would you feel about an allosexual saying something like "I wish I was asexual, everything would be SO much easier if I didn't have any sexual desires"?
I'd assume you wouldn't like it, correct? You wouldn't like it because such a person would be ignoring the struggles of being asexual while also not fully understanding what asexuality even is. And rightfully so, because it subtly invalidates your identity, making it out to be something that makes your life easier, when it's not.
Why then do I see at least one post every week or so being like "I wish I was also aromantic, being aroace would be sooooo much easier because I just wouldn't care for romance nor crave affection"???
Saying that is just as insensitive and invalidating as an allosexual saying they wished they were ace. It completely ignores the struggles of being aromantic while also misrepresenting it.
Being aroace is NOT easy. On top of feeling broken for not experiencing sexual attraction like most people aroaces also lack normative romantic attraction. It's an additional factor that can make them feel even more alienated by society.
And it's not all black and white either; aromantics CAN care for romance. Aromantics CAN desire romance. Aromantics CAN desire affection - try explaining to someone how you want to date them, but won't love them back the same way they do. Try explaining to someone how you want affection and emotional closeness, but don't want it to be romantic.
I implore you, stop making posts like that and even more so, stop thinking that way. It's hurtful, invalidating, and yes, it's low-key arophobic.
https://redd.it/1mesqdp
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Am I asexual?
I’m 19 year old boy. I’ve only ever been attracted to men; I even find myself wanting to kiss them or be close. But when it comes to sex, I get completely icked out. It messes with my head so much that I start wondering whether it's internalized homophobia or maybe a form of asexuality.
To be honest, the way I’ve experienced attraction has always been more about emotional and physical closeness; like wanting to cuddle or just be with someone. But almost every relationship seems to revolve around sex, and that part just... disgusts me.
I don’t know what this means or what I should call it. I’m just trying to understand myself better.
Edited:
PS: Dont comment, I think I have got enough info.. Idek why I posted when Ik nobody can know about me except myself🤦♂️
https://redd.it/1mex0f2
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I’m 19 year old boy. I’ve only ever been attracted to men; I even find myself wanting to kiss them or be close. But when it comes to sex, I get completely icked out. It messes with my head so much that I start wondering whether it's internalized homophobia or maybe a form of asexuality.
To be honest, the way I’ve experienced attraction has always been more about emotional and physical closeness; like wanting to cuddle or just be with someone. But almost every relationship seems to revolve around sex, and that part just... disgusts me.
I don’t know what this means or what I should call it. I’m just trying to understand myself better.
Edited:
PS: Dont comment, I think I have got enough info.. Idek why I posted when Ik nobody can know about me except myself🤦♂️
https://redd.it/1mex0f2
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My newest pride pin design! The oyster 💜 which is your fave?
https://redd.it/1meq8vr
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