Galactic asexual representation.

https://redd.it/1md7ocr
@asexualityonreddit

And here’s some casual Ace erasure: Christian Theology Edition
https://redd.it/1mdbkw3
@asexualityonreddit

This is what an ace looks like (bonus owl)
https://redd.it/1mdcthu
@asexualityonreddit

“Just date other asexuals”

So, so many times on dating sites or apps, or even in the wild when discussing my dating life and my asexuality, people tell me these words and I’m so, so tired! How common do they think asexuality is? 

“Why would asexuals even want to be with allosexuals? It can never work, asexuals should just date each other and leave allos alone.”

“Have you ever considered finding an ace partner?”

Have I? Have I? It’s so, so infuriating. Do these people think we don’t know that? Do these people think we’re not trying to find asexual partners? I always ask them if they’ve ever met someone who’s openly ace and they always go quiet. Yes, there are asexual dating sites, but we’re still a pretty small bunch of people, and just being asexual doesn’t guarantee they’d be a good match otherwise. Also, as someone who lives in a small country, I do feel like I have a tiny bit of a better chance finding someone if I’m in both asexual dating spaces and the dating apps targeted to allos.

I’m so tired. Finding a partner is really hard in the first place. Having ignorant allos saying stuff like this makes it really exhausting.

https://redd.it/1md9t04
@asexualityonreddit

Found at the Oregon City Public Library
https://redd.it/1mdf9ro
@asexualityonreddit

Are You Aro (Advice)?

**Hi everyone!**



Welcome to our weekly Advice post about Aromanticism! Aromantic people experience little to no romantic attraction.



**Do any of these resonate with you?**

\* You rarely (if ever) experience crushes on others.

\* You find the idea of a romantic relationship unappealing, and prefer strong platonic bonds.

\* You've been in romantic relationships but felt like you were going through the motions.

\* You've researched what crushes are "supposed" to feel like, but can't relate.



These are just a few signs you might be Aromantic. Aromanticism is a spectrum, and every person's experience is unique.



\*\*Have questions about aromanticism or your own identity?\*\* Ask away in the comments below, and we'll and your fellow Aro’s will do the best to help!

* [**More signs that you are Aro**](https://aromanticguide.com/am-i-aro)

* [**Honeymoon Phase**](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-is-the-honeymoon-phase)

* [**Types of attraction (might be incomplete)**](https://types-of-attraction.carrd.co/)

https://redd.it/1mdidc7
@asexualityonreddit

i think im aroace

I always preferred having friends than lovers and i find romance to be cheesey like i hate that i love you babey or honey boo holy cornballs. I also not really into sex it feels embarrassing and i feel kinda gross after it. Now i did have fictional crushes but i got over them quickly and i had some irl crushes but i got over them and wanted friends more. I think im aorace.

https://redd.it/1mdf7f6
@asexualityonreddit

I thought I was pan for sooo long
https://redd.it/1mdgprp
@asexualityonreddit

What was your asexual awakening?
https://redd.it/1mdkt5c
@asexualityonreddit

getting rid of libido

OK so, I've read other posts saying "it's ok to be asexual and have a libido (sex drive) and you shouldn't feel bad about whether it's perfectly normal, and you should just enjoy yourself", but that's the thing. I don't want to.

After years of looking into myself, I'm completely sure I'm aroace. When I look at people and even new images, it's not that I get "turned on" by it. It's a bit complicated to explain, but it's like I only (feel) the (feeling) the person in the image is, and... that's it!, but my body still have a high libido, it's like a child that's always with you and sometimes randomly starts crying in your ear wanting something and I end up doing it not because I want to but just to quiet that voice for a while...

And just to clarify, I do feel pleasure, but it's like, cheap pleasure, like if I had to rank every single pleasure I felt in my life, this would be the furthest down alone by itself, because every other kind of pleasure just feels so much better, and I really just don't care for this one. So yeah, if you know anything that you think can help me, I'd appreciate it greatly <3



https://redd.it/1mdotma
@asexualityonreddit

it was hard for me to comprehend people NEEDING sex

a part how i realized i was asexual (aegosexual more specifically) was that i couldn't comprehend at first that no sex in a relationship was a dealbreaker for people. i just assumed that everyone else could go without it (of course now i realize that it is a dealbreaker let for a lot of people, but it was jarring to me at one point in my life). although i assumed i was weird for being completely repulsed. anyone else have the same experience?

https://redd.it/1mdqa3n
@asexualityonreddit

Being Sex-repulsed feels like everyone is a pervert except you

I hate feeling like this

https://redd.it/1mdo5vo
@asexualityonreddit

That moment where you really don't feel like explaining your specific microlabels to an allo
https://redd.it/1mdwize
@asexualityonreddit

I feel ashamed to be asexual.

I see so many asexual people say horrible things about sex and genitals. Shaming people for having sex, saying it’s not important and people can just go without it. Equating genitals to dirty garbage by calling them waste disposal holes.

I AM SICK OF IT.

I am asexual. I have zero sexual attraction. I have identified with the ace community since I was 12. Yet honestly at the rate I am seeing posts like that. I am embarrassed to be asexual. I don’t want to associate with people like that. Ever.

Sex negativity as in shaming others for sex and genitals. Wanting to remove sex from this earth harms queer people. There is no denying that. At least half of what sex negative people say is what homophobes told gay people.

I am intersex. A lot of intersex people have suffered from genital mutilation. It causes a lot of the time nerve damage. Making it impossible to orgasm. The amount of intersex people that suffer from severe psychological pain because of this is beyond your imagination. Yet people will say “oh but you don’t need sex”. HELLO??? I don’t recall women ever being happy with clitoris removal, that’s why we ban it. Yet it’s still perfectly legal on intersex people in the majority of this world.

It’s disrespectful and I hate it. I wanna leave. I don’t want to be asexual.

Can we have an ace community that’s sex positive pls. I am tired of this bullshit.

https://redd.it/1mdwiiv
@asexualityonreddit

Do allo people actually have wet dreams?

I've never had one and don't really have people in my life that could confirm or deny this. For the most part, I just thought it was one of those things that mostly happen in fiction, but since figuring out that I'm ace, I am wondering if people actually have those sorts of dreams and my brain never mashed something up to be that sort of dream.
(lmk if i need to switch up the tag i'm using. with how things are going i didn't know which tags to use)

https://redd.it/1mduo79
@asexualityonreddit

My girlfriend is asexual. Why does she want me to do sexual things to her?

Potentially NSFW.

I’m in an asexual relationship. We’ve been together for some time now (years) and I thought I had a pretty good grasp of her identity but she’s been acting a little different recently and I’m not sure where to go from here.

For context, she doesn’t experience sexual attraction but I do. I come from a previously abusive/sexually abusive relationship before her, and as a result have less of a libido than some. Or rather I have better control over my urges than others I guess. I could go the rest of my life without sex and be happy, basically. I was only looking for a loving romantic partner, and I’ve found that thankfully.

My girlfriend explained to me that she sees sex as no more than a function, a function to have babies and not an avenue of pleasure. She has no interest in having sex unless it’s for having children in the future. She actively shows discomfort when sex scenes appear in media we watch together. But I was fine with this, and still am.

We had a conversation a couple weeks ago and she asked me why I never touch her butt or her breasts. I explained that I never did out of respect for her and her identity. She told me that despite her lack of interest in sex, she still wants to be desired sexually, and she gave me permission to touch her in that way. I just said okay, but never fully indulged in it.

Recently she brought it up again, asking me why I haven’t been touching her like that. I explained to her that I didn’t want to be disrespectful and I didn’t want her to feel like she had to let me do those things to her. The last thing I’d want is for her to think I’m only with her for her body. But she reassured me that she’s given me permission to touch her and that she won’t be upset about it if or when I do. So I guess I’ll start doing it more often. Here’s the thing though. I asked her to reiterate her feelings regarding sex, and gave her a hypothetical.

I made it clear from the beginning of the relationship when she discussed her asexuality with me, that what makes sex for me work is mutual desire. I want her to want to do it, in order for me to want to do it. If she doesn’t want to, then I don’t want to. Simple as that. So I’d never expect anything from her. But I asked her, hypothetically, if I had asked her to have sex with me, would she? And she said only for having children, or if maybe she was curious. But she assured me she wasn’t curious.

It’s a little confusing/frustrating (physically, not mentally if you know what I mean. I’m not upset with her) with what she’s saying recently. Because to me it sort of feels like “you can look or touch, but you’re never going to get it”. But at the same time, she wants me to grope her, but swears she isn’t curious about sex. I just don’t really get what she wants no matter how much I talk about it with her. And that’s not really satisfying for me to touch all I want but never get any kind of completion out of it.

Can anybody else relate to how she feels that may be able to explain it better? I feel like this subreddit is probably the best place to find that.

TL:DR - My asexual girlfriend wants me to grope her. This confuses me, as she’s assured me her feelings regarding sex haven’t changed. I don’t understand why she wants what she wants?

https://redd.it/1mdzfmq
@asexualityonreddit

Alone

I've just turned 40. Single for over a decade and a virgin. Despite being successful, relatively attractive, and physically fit - absolutely no one wants me when they find out that sex won't be part of the relationship. It's so nice to know that my entire worth as a person has seemingly boiled down to one single aspect. Thanks for listening.

https://redd.it/1mdxanh
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual Cross Stitch
https://redd.it/1me43vo
@asexualityonreddit

Are "sexual needs" really a thing?

Is it valid to label sexual desires as "needs" in a relationship? I hear about this so often and I have trouble understanding it. Every time I try to date a man I have this issue where they want to have sex and I don't. And eventually they'll tell me their sexual needs aren't being fulfilled and I just don't understand it. I get that we're human beings and reproduction is sort of an instinct for us but I don't see how that equates to having recreational sex on a regular basis like how most people seem to want it. I really just don't see how it can be a need.
I've had friends and family both agree and disagree with me on this. Am I messed up? I understand how someone's partner not wanting to have sex with them can effect their self esteem and certain feelings, but I do not understand how one can feel as if they need sex in a relationship the same way they might need reassurance or need to feel loved.

https://redd.it/1me5x3g
@asexualityonreddit

Thoughtful imo
https://redd.it/1me5e3f
@asexualityonreddit