My Guy Best Friend Just Demanded I Sleep With Him

I'm sorry if this is a little mixed up, I'm not in the best mind right now.

I come to the Holy Aces for help once again, this time for something actually serious. For context, I (20F) am a single Aromantic and Aegosexual (Thanks Holy Aces for helping me to discover this). I'm happy with this identity.

I have a guy best friend, let's call him Ryan(21M). We met in high school and just clicked ever since. We both agreed we saw each other more as siblings than romantic interest. I've known him for too long to think any different. We've been with each other through our darkest moments, like how I escaped my homophobic mom, and his self offing attempt. I really thought this would be forever. Mind you, he has an entire girlfriend, I'll call her Tulip, who is also my good friend.

Recently, me, Ryan, and Tulip went out on our weekly cafe trip. We were sitting in our usual corner booth, I had my usual brownie, he had his scone, and Tulip had her cinnamon roll. Ryan looked tense, but I brushed it off as work stress or something. Suddenly, Tulip got up to use the bathroom, she usually takes a bit so we were both just waiting.

Until Ryan looks me in the eyes. Me being the sad neurodivergent I am, immediately looked away. He grabbed my hand, I flinched and glanced up at him. I told him I don't like being touched without warning. The conversation went a little like this:

Me: Ryan, please don't touch me without warning.
Ryan: Sorry, I just need to tell you something and you weren't paying attention.

That rubbed me the wrong way because he's also autistic.

Ryan: Look, I need to tell you something.
Me: Okay... What is it?
Ryan: Don't tell Tulip but I really like you.
Me: What do you mean?
Ryan then goes into detail about how Tulip never satisfied him and he wanted me instead. Saying being the one to deflower me first would make him so happy and she didn't need to know.

Dead silence.

Since sticks and cats looked disgusting to me, I've never had sex before and I probably never will.

I felt so utterly disgusted, I yanked my hand away and left to pay for my brownie and drink. Tulip was coming out as I was at the counter, she asked me what's wrong but I told her I'll call her later.

I just got home and both of them were blowing up my phone. Tulip was concerned and questioning Ryan who said nothing happened. Ryan was demanding I still sleep with him because he put up with me for so long. Saying he waited for me to cave but couldn't take it anymore. I "had thank him some how"...

I feel disgusted, I haven't responded to anyone. I've been sitting in my bed questioning life. This was the same man who stayed up until 2am researching Asexual identities with me and Tulip. This was the same man who yelled at my mom when she called me a slur for never wanting to give birth. This is the same man I stayed up with for 2 days to help him through the darkest time of his life.

I feel horrible for Tulip, but I can't respond to her right now. I screenshoted all of Ryan's messages and plan to show her when I'm in a better space.

Holy Aces, I come to you once again for advice. I know this isn't the usual, but I don't know who to talk to right now. I was wondering if someone here had a similar experience and knows what to do and how to react here... Other than crying.

Thank you for taking the time to read this... I'll try to update.

https://redd.it/1lf2vd9
@asexualityonreddit

Asexual dating

I was wondering what kind of tools are available to help people who are maybe interested in dating and companionship without sex to find one another. Do any of you have any tips?

https://redd.it/1lf2znj
@asexualityonreddit

Strawberry lemonade cake…

Technically, it’s a strawberry flavored cake w/ lemon frosting. Still awesome, though.

https://redd.it/1lf3ye9
@asexualityonreddit

I bought Ace stickers on a roll!

https://redd.it/1lf849z
@asexualityonreddit

Preparing for local Pride on Saturday
https://redd.it/1lf839s
@asexualityonreddit

The frogs believe you’re valid 🖤🩶🤍💜
https://redd.it/1lfc6dw
@asexualityonreddit

Anyone got any alternative asexual essentials?

I know garlic bread is a staple of this community but I'm gluten intolerant :(


(This is meant as a joke :3)

https://redd.it/1lfcwo5
@asexualityonreddit

I want to come out

I (31F) want to come out as gray ace to my partner (39M).

We’ve been together since early 2024, and sex has been a challenge the entire time (no surprise there lol). For a while I thought I was struggling because we got together not too long after I left a toxic relationship. I thought I needed more time. Before the toxic relationship, I experienced a solid 4 year stretch of sexual attraction/desire. But before that I never had much desire or attraction and already considered the possibility of being ace. That 4 year time frame had me (and still does…) confused, I thought “well I guess I’m just now discovering what I like!”
But ever since I’ve gone back to caring very little about sex. Self-pleasure is more mechanical than anything, trying to get my body to perform a biological function like burping or farting 😂 so no fantasies, porn is meh (amusing at best), I just focus on the feeling.

My partner is wonderful and this is the most healthy and supportive relationship I’ve ever been in. But I’m so worried about how to have the conversation. I fear he won’t be able to accept it and we won’t be able to come to a compromise where we are both happy and satisfied…

I’d really love to hear from other grays in relationships with allos about compromises that have worked well for you. I’d love to be able to have some things in mind to suggest for when I talk to him…
sex isn’t off the table. I’m just tired of trying to be allo when I’m not (or not right now).

I’m also trying very hard to accept this part of myself. This experience has made me both sad and angry. I don’t want to be this way. But I am :(

https://redd.it/1lfeyz2
@asexualityonreddit

Why is sex taboo

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m Ace and just don’t understand sexual attraction. But whenever the topic of sex comes up and different types of kinks. It’s like a lot of people get embarrassed. To me it’s like if I’m talking about regular information so I don’t see the issue. I had a friend say I’m a weird because my sister who turned 18 wanted toys or smut for her birthday and I got it for her. Like I don’t see the big deal.

Idk I think it’s cus half the time I forget about all that till it’s brought up. Or is it just taboo and embarrassing to talk about?

https://redd.it/1lfdcjt
@asexualityonreddit

Discord Server for the Ace Community

We have a new Discord Server that is currently thriving, it is here for everyone who is part of the ace community! We have various events in the works, so whether you want to take part or just meet new people, be sure to come check it out :)

https://discord.gg/KNzs7J87

We also have an active area for dating, for all who are interested!

https://redd.it/1lfhx9g
@asexualityonreddit

Over cooked the cheesy garlic bread, but I am ready for Pride
https://redd.it/1lfk03o
@asexualityonreddit

Do-over post…
https://redd.it/1lfoexe
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Am I weird for being annoyed by this
https://redd.it/1lfp4md
@asexualityonreddit

life shipping

dose any one else feel rejected when someone you thought had a crush on a friend of yours turns out to have a crush on you

https://redd.it/1lfkaea
@asexualityonreddit

COOL ARO ACE STREAMER YOU SHOULD WATCH DELTARUNE PAPYRUS WAS MY FIRST TSUKASA



https://redd.it/1lfsfb1
@asexualityonreddit

Why can't people ever get it through their thick MF skull that some of us asexuals no matter what you try to do will not sleep with you.

I was talking to a new guy today that I just met over the phone and he's already we barely know each other saying he could see a future with me wants to take care of me and pay for me to come visit him in the states. I live in Canada and is really thick in the head excuse me for saying it but it's true. Acting like if I just got to know him better and became closer with him he might be able to change my mind and have me sleep with him.

Like what part of I don't want to sleep with anyone not even you and nothing's going to change that do these people not understand. Why the fuck excuse my language do they hear the word no and take it as a challenge to turn it into a yes. I honestly can't with these people and they just make me so angry. Like I only fully started talking to this person today this evening and he's already talking all this shit. He was telling me he's good at sex and I'm thinking why do I care you're not getting my pants. Stop don't touch me there that is my no no square. Sorry but I had to. I'm sure a lot of you can relate.

https://redd.it/1lfsgdv
@asexualityonreddit

Aroace Canon Events
https://redd.it/1lfr1bd
@asexualityonreddit

My Ex Guy Best Friend Demanded I Sleep With Him + Update

To clear things up:
1. Both me and Ryan are autistic. We have slight communication issues but are otherwise fine.
2. We were together when we were diagnosed with high functioning autism
3.Me, Tulip and Ryan gave been going to the same small business weekly for years.
4.Tulip and Ryan have been together since senior year of HS
5.Me and Ryan go to the same university but have different majors
6. Tulip and Ryan live together off campus for convenience
7.I don't have a dormmate, and I only have one bed

ANYWAYS

It's truly shocking how much can happen in two days.

Yesterday, I made a post in tears asking the Holy Aces for help because my guy best friend just shattered our friendship. I suggest you go read that before this.

Today, I met up with his girlfriend and my good friend, Tulip to tell her everything. And she told me something I can never even think of. I'm going to let my inner writer out and try and explain this. If it sounds like a book, that was technically the goal.

I stepped into the small cafe, one that held so many memories that I'd have to let go of soon. Ignoring the small looks from the waitress that overheard my conversation with Ryan, I sat down in the usual corner booth. I got my usual hot chocolate and brownie while I waited.

Tulip arrived looking like she didn't know what sleep was, her clothes were disheveled, hair a mess. There was a certain look in her eyes that told me she already knew what this was about. I let her order and receive her food before I told her. ere's how the conversation went:

I reached in my bag and pulled out printed copies of his Ryan's messages. All 217 of them. All ignored. I proceeded to explain what Ryan said while she flipped through the pages of messages. Her eyes were wide, filled with distress and shock.

Tulip: He told you that...? Her voice was so soft, almost defeated. It broke my heart.

Me: Unfortunately yes... Look, I've looked into therapy, you can go with me. We can work through our pain- I immediately tried to steer the conversation in a different direction when I saw the tears in her eyes. But she cut me off with a raised hand.

Tulip:No, I knew he did something whenshe texted me telling me that you tried to touch his stick and balls.

What. The. Fuck. He's been going around telling people that I literally tried to GROPE him. I was shocked. But that was only layer one.

Tulip then told me Ryan came into their shared apartment and pinned her to the bed. He yelled at her to tell him that he was handsome and the best she's had. She didn't take that though, she pushed him off and started swinging a baseball bat until he left to stay with his mom.

Me: Girl, that's abuse. Why didn't you call the police? This man is crazy.

Tulip: I know, but he's never done it before. This was new, so I broke up with him on the spot.

She then told me that she originally didn't even like him like that, but he guilted her into a relationship and made her feel like she 'owed' him that and her body. She didn't like sex and never did, just pretended to like it to keep him happy. I told her that's rape and she's a victim.

I paid, we left and I brought her back to my campus dorm where we both broke down in tears while trying to comfort each other. I did this because I knew Ryan would not be able to reach us. I already contacted the counselor and told him if Ryan comes near my dorm nothing good will happen.

Apparently Ryan has done this to countless people, men and women, but I was his main target. The long game, his "soon to be greatest achievement". Sex was actually just at trophy to him. So anyone that called him a misogynist, you were right.

We stayed there for a couple hours, looking through the comments on my post. She even helped me reply to some of them. She's currently sleeping in my bed, I let her. I stayed on the floor. She did give me permission to write this update.

His mom called me. Stupidly, I answered. She blew up on me for