Dealing with gendered expectations as an ace man
M46 here. I've been seeing a couple of allo women and I'm feeling really frustrated with how it seems like they see me as a man first and a person second. One of them told me tonight she wants to just be friends, and I was talking things over with her afterwards when she used the phrase "get your dick wet" on me. After we had the asexuality talk, even. It feels so gross. Like, yes, I'm sex favorable, but that doesn't mean I'm dating anyone just for sex. I hate it when anyone invokes my gender to explain my actions. Does anyone else relate?
https://redd.it/1kzuywg
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M46 here. I've been seeing a couple of allo women and I'm feeling really frustrated with how it seems like they see me as a man first and a person second. One of them told me tonight she wants to just be friends, and I was talking things over with her afterwards when she used the phrase "get your dick wet" on me. After we had the asexuality talk, even. It feels so gross. Like, yes, I'm sex favorable, but that doesn't mean I'm dating anyone just for sex. I hate it when anyone invokes my gender to explain my actions. Does anyone else relate?
https://redd.it/1kzuywg
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What to do on pride month yalll
This is my first June with me totally confident about my asexuality (i think) so Im just confused. Do yall do do anything in June?
(i know its not that deep)
https://redd.it/1kzsw1f
@asexualityonreddit
This is my first June with me totally confident about my asexuality (i think) so Im just confused. Do yall do do anything in June?
(i know its not that deep)
https://redd.it/1kzsw1f
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Hey yall, I have a discord server if anyone wants to join!
https://redd.it/1kzu0e0
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1kzu0e0
@asexualityonreddit
Pro tip don’t ask people on a platform ‘would you date an asexual’
The answers will not make you feel good. Here’s some responses I got: (not on reddit)
Redacted: “She would just be a maid would she not 😅”
Redacted: “Relationships are inherently sexual.. are you a child?”
Redacted: “Yeah no way. What a waste of time”
Redacted: “In a relationship no, maybe friends but if we are together and she won’t have sex thats abuse”
Redacted: “OP you need therapy if you think this is normal or okay”
Redacted: “No because who ever would put their partner through that is cruel. Thats not love but actual abuse.”
And the list goes on…
https://redd.it/1kzye7e
@asexualityonreddit
The answers will not make you feel good. Here’s some responses I got: (not on reddit)
Redacted: “She would just be a maid would she not 😅”
Redacted: “Relationships are inherently sexual.. are you a child?”
Redacted: “Yeah no way. What a waste of time”
Redacted: “In a relationship no, maybe friends but if we are together and she won’t have sex thats abuse”
Redacted: “OP you need therapy if you think this is normal or okay”
Redacted: “No because who ever would put their partner through that is cruel. Thats not love but actual abuse.”
And the list goes on…
https://redd.it/1kzye7e
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I finally figured out how to describe how I feel about sex
Specifically regarding discussion of it, or representation of it in media.
It's like poop
That's it
You're having regular bowel movements, that's great, but why are you telling me that when I'm not your doctor and for the love of god do not describe your turd to me in great detail
Sex scenes in movies hit me like if the movie it suddenly cut to the characters taking a big fat drawn-out sh*t, like yeah I'm not denying those characters probably use the bathroom sometimes but why are you showing me this fkhglhghkghk
https://redd.it/1kzy31o
@asexualityonreddit
Specifically regarding discussion of it, or representation of it in media.
It's like poop
That's it
You're having regular bowel movements, that's great, but why are you telling me that when I'm not your doctor and for the love of god do not describe your turd to me in great detail
Sex scenes in movies hit me like if the movie it suddenly cut to the characters taking a big fat drawn-out sh*t, like yeah I'm not denying those characters probably use the bathroom sometimes but why are you showing me this fkhglhghkghk
https://redd.it/1kzy31o
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I came out to my mom today and she was supportive! So I'm celebrating with some good food and new yarn.
https://redd.it/1kzywbp
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1kzywbp
@asexualityonreddit
So, do we need a meeting to establish an Ace version of this? Best thing I could come up with was: Be Ace buy paste
https://redd.it/1l02yux
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1l02yux
@asexualityonreddit
28M . I like romantic parts of a relationships, that might be about it
I'm straight, relatively good-looking as I've been told, tbh I'd ideally be looking for a relationship with the opposite sex, as just identify as hetero and love partners this way. So yes, I'm into females and don't judge based on looks nor age. I love personality traits, good convos, having things in common , duhh, also romance and can flirt just normal. I'm also very passionate in general about someone I like. I'm open to give the chance of knowing someone new right now, but when it comes to the sex act, I just can't guarantee it. Most of the time I have to think a lot about going on it, I've tried it but figured my personality doesn't allow me to be in that mood just like "regular" people. In fact, I feel like I could totally live till the end of days without it. I'm physically fine, but I'm here for the psychological aspect of it that everyone seems to come to this subreddit for, too.
Anyways, can also make friends if you're good with it, could add on discord , tg or something, not afraid of receiving Dms or just casual chat, just figured you can Dm on reddit too lol
Thanks to everyone on this sub for making me feel more comfortable about the topic.
https://redd.it/1l01136
@asexualityonreddit
I'm straight, relatively good-looking as I've been told, tbh I'd ideally be looking for a relationship with the opposite sex, as just identify as hetero and love partners this way. So yes, I'm into females and don't judge based on looks nor age. I love personality traits, good convos, having things in common , duhh, also romance and can flirt just normal. I'm also very passionate in general about someone I like. I'm open to give the chance of knowing someone new right now, but when it comes to the sex act, I just can't guarantee it. Most of the time I have to think a lot about going on it, I've tried it but figured my personality doesn't allow me to be in that mood just like "regular" people. In fact, I feel like I could totally live till the end of days without it. I'm physically fine, but I'm here for the psychological aspect of it that everyone seems to come to this subreddit for, too.
Anyways, can also make friends if you're good with it, could add on discord , tg or something, not afraid of receiving Dms or just casual chat, just figured you can Dm on reddit too lol
Thanks to everyone on this sub for making me feel more comfortable about the topic.
https://redd.it/1l01136
@asexualityonreddit
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Reposting a old meme I did but with a better font color a year later
https://redd.it/1l083oc
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Coworkers are vulgar but I’m the weird one … make it make sense
Alright so I don’t normally post but this just happened like yesterday and I’m still in my head about it. I’ve started a new job with many different types of people and some that I must now interact with . That’s never really an issue for me I’m easy going and wish to connect with my coworkers but the scant amount of time we have for breaks and lunch is filled with the raunchiest of sex talk . Like I can take hearing quite alot and have trained myself not to act too out of sorts or give myself away that I’m ace and sex repulsed . Like do you , it’s none of my business .
But This week has been downright explicit in the random conversations started and I’m left trying not to throw up or seem too judgy as I’m like “ dude cmon I’m eating “ after the 3rd statement about bodily fluids in places I didn’t think they went .
At the end of the break I’m stopped and asked “what my deal is , and what’s my issue”. And I’m like ….. huh….
I don’t like being put on the spot especially new to a job where I can’t feel out if people are going to be weird about asexuality . So before I can get out anything she says “ you fuck men right , your so weird what the hell is wrong with you , you never say anything , it’s creepy “
While someone else chimes in that I always zone out when they talk about sex
Then they walk away . And sadly it’s that moment that I’ve had over and over where no matter hard you try to mask and fit in there is something inherently different about me that heterosexual “ “or normal “” people can sniff out . That there is something defective and not normal that is at my core and that I cannot change no matter how hard I can force it or try to blend in . That other people can sense it on me after just a few short weeks with minimal contact . That I can’t be like them no matter hard I try because the talk I hear is literally just the dirtiest stuff and all I can think is “no one can surely want to hear about all your opinions on eating out or sucking off someone and where your putting hands …. “ except that’s the pg version .
I just hate that I’m reminded of how different I am from everybody else by the people that seem to be so sexual it takes up their entire personality and thought processes . That I’m then the weird creepy girl that can’t be talked to because I can’t partake in the locker room talk , while we’re at work .
https://redd.it/1l0bt87
@asexualityonreddit
Alright so I don’t normally post but this just happened like yesterday and I’m still in my head about it. I’ve started a new job with many different types of people and some that I must now interact with . That’s never really an issue for me I’m easy going and wish to connect with my coworkers but the scant amount of time we have for breaks and lunch is filled with the raunchiest of sex talk . Like I can take hearing quite alot and have trained myself not to act too out of sorts or give myself away that I’m ace and sex repulsed . Like do you , it’s none of my business .
But This week has been downright explicit in the random conversations started and I’m left trying not to throw up or seem too judgy as I’m like “ dude cmon I’m eating “ after the 3rd statement about bodily fluids in places I didn’t think they went .
At the end of the break I’m stopped and asked “what my deal is , and what’s my issue”. And I’m like ….. huh….
I don’t like being put on the spot especially new to a job where I can’t feel out if people are going to be weird about asexuality . So before I can get out anything she says “ you fuck men right , your so weird what the hell is wrong with you , you never say anything , it’s creepy “
While someone else chimes in that I always zone out when they talk about sex
Then they walk away . And sadly it’s that moment that I’ve had over and over where no matter hard you try to mask and fit in there is something inherently different about me that heterosexual “ “or normal “” people can sniff out . That there is something defective and not normal that is at my core and that I cannot change no matter how hard I can force it or try to blend in . That other people can sense it on me after just a few short weeks with minimal contact . That I can’t be like them no matter hard I try because the talk I hear is literally just the dirtiest stuff and all I can think is “no one can surely want to hear about all your opinions on eating out or sucking off someone and where your putting hands …. “ except that’s the pg version .
I just hate that I’m reminded of how different I am from everybody else by the people that seem to be so sexual it takes up their entire personality and thought processes . That I’m then the weird creepy girl that can’t be talked to because I can’t partake in the locker room talk , while we’re at work .
https://redd.it/1l0bt87
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Aromantic Visibility Day...
is happening for our third year on June 5! I hope everyone who is aromantic or on the aromantic spectrum shows up. We've had great turn outs for our first two years. We want to keep expanding this any way we can. There aren't specific goals, it's more of an appreciation and recognition day, but we'd like to put a bigger emphasis on arospec identities that don't get as much attention. If your label is one that isn't often discussed, it would be a great time to do so. Obviously, you do not owe us your time and labor, but I want us to come together and do better to support those who don't get the recognition. The community has a wide range of aros with various experiences. I want everyone to acknowledge how vast the community is. I hope to see lots of posts from everyone then! As usual, feel free to ask me questions if you have any!
https://redd.it/1l0cvc1
@asexualityonreddit
is happening for our third year on June 5! I hope everyone who is aromantic or on the aromantic spectrum shows up. We've had great turn outs for our first two years. We want to keep expanding this any way we can. There aren't specific goals, it's more of an appreciation and recognition day, but we'd like to put a bigger emphasis on arospec identities that don't get as much attention. If your label is one that isn't often discussed, it would be a great time to do so. Obviously, you do not owe us your time and labor, but I want us to come together and do better to support those who don't get the recognition. The community has a wide range of aros with various experiences. I want everyone to acknowledge how vast the community is. I hope to see lots of posts from everyone then! As usual, feel free to ask me questions if you have any!
https://redd.it/1l0cvc1
@asexualityonreddit
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Found this on Tumblr thought it was an awesome analogy
https://i.imgur.com/rom6S5q.png
https://redd.it/1l0hpzf
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https://i.imgur.com/rom6S5q.png
https://redd.it/1l0hpzf
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Discover the magic of the internet at Imgur, a community powered entertainment destination. Lift your spirits with funny jokes, trending memes, entertaining gifs, inspiring stories, viral videos, and so much more from users.
Decided I'm Aphobic
Almost all my problems in life were caused by an asexual person. Yes it's me, but that's not the point.
https://redd.it/1l0jgfg
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Almost all my problems in life were caused by an asexual person. Yes it's me, but that's not the point.
https://redd.it/1l0jgfg
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From the aaaaaaacccccccce community on Reddit
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