My partner hates that I'm attracted to breasts
So my partner is really upset at me because I find breasts attractive. For some context, they are nonbinary and have had top surgery. They are Asexual but have said that they are attracted to me and we do have sex.
Everytime tits come on in media or really whenever they see women they get dysphoric and upset. We were watching a movie and there was a party happening and several women had their shirts off. My partner turned to me and asked if breasts are attractive. I said no not really, but in other contexts they could be. They got instantly really upset and we started to fight. Their main points are this:
- I would think they would be more attractive with breasts.
- me finding breasts attractive is disgusting because so many people don't want breasts (for all the valid reasons like back pain, strangers attention, sweating, etc.) and I'm actively contributing to the promotion of breasts by liking them.
- that I don't like their flat chest.
My responses were:
- I do not want or need them to have or get breasts. I have literally never thought about them with breasts because I have only ever known them without breasts.
- me thinking boobs are attractive doesn't calculate into me: meeting someone knew, seeing random strangers, or how I would treat someone who doesn't have boobs. I understand all the reasons why people born with books get them removed or reduced. I am not a boob advocate.
- I think their chest is fine and I'm attracted to it because it's part of them. Just like I'm attracted to their elbow or their back. They are hot because it's them, if that makes sense.
- I do not think people with breasts are more attractive than my partner (who is very hot).
Am I in the wrong here? They keep pushing and ignoring my counter points just saying 1+1=2 like that's how attraction and stuff works. I'm so upset and I want someone to way in and see if I'm being an asshole.
https://redd.it/1kpunao
@asexualityonreddit
So my partner is really upset at me because I find breasts attractive. For some context, they are nonbinary and have had top surgery. They are Asexual but have said that they are attracted to me and we do have sex.
Everytime tits come on in media or really whenever they see women they get dysphoric and upset. We were watching a movie and there was a party happening and several women had their shirts off. My partner turned to me and asked if breasts are attractive. I said no not really, but in other contexts they could be. They got instantly really upset and we started to fight. Their main points are this:
- I would think they would be more attractive with breasts.
- me finding breasts attractive is disgusting because so many people don't want breasts (for all the valid reasons like back pain, strangers attention, sweating, etc.) and I'm actively contributing to the promotion of breasts by liking them.
- that I don't like their flat chest.
My responses were:
- I do not want or need them to have or get breasts. I have literally never thought about them with breasts because I have only ever known them without breasts.
- me thinking boobs are attractive doesn't calculate into me: meeting someone knew, seeing random strangers, or how I would treat someone who doesn't have boobs. I understand all the reasons why people born with books get them removed or reduced. I am not a boob advocate.
- I think their chest is fine and I'm attracted to it because it's part of them. Just like I'm attracted to their elbow or their back. They are hot because it's them, if that makes sense.
- I do not think people with breasts are more attractive than my partner (who is very hot).
Am I in the wrong here? They keep pushing and ignoring my counter points just saying 1+1=2 like that's how attraction and stuff works. I'm so upset and I want someone to way in and see if I'm being an asshole.
https://redd.it/1kpunao
@asexualityonreddit
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What signs did you give that you were asexual, before you discovered you were asexual?
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