I imagine life was a lot easier for aces and aros back then.
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I am very naive.

I'll give an example.

In high school I used to hang out with these group of geeks, who were very friendly with me. I was known among them as the artistic one. Now, one of them was developing an RPG game together with his friends and he asked me personally to design him a character.

Me being a people pleaser, I managed to sketch him one overnight and I was pretty proud of it.

He liked it a lot and invited me to his house to work on his project together. And me ,not thinking anything of it , just being happy to be useful and part of an interesting project, agreed to it.

I got to his house, expecting his other friends to come by since it was a group project. But nope, it was just me and him. Alone. No friends, no family, just the two of us. And instead of working on his game, we played league of legends together until his mom came back from work and made us dinner. It felt awkward and I got back home confused, that night.

The next day I got to school, he was no where to be seen. One of his close friends, a girl, approached me and talked to me about it. Apparently, only to my surprise, he was interested in me. He was apparently desperate for a girlfriend at the time and was trying to make some advances towards me.

I explained to her that I wasn't interested in him like that. That Im pretty naive when it comes to flirting and stuff. And what did she have to say to me?

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"Yeah, I know. I've been trying to flirt with you for half a year now."

​

...So yeah.

The only way I'll ever know if someone is into me is by either their friends telling me about it, or the person themselves confessing to me. Unless you are being upfront about it, my aroace ass will never know.

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@asexualityonreddit

I present to you, pcm (no. 2)
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We can unleash our dragon form and peoples won't suspect a thing
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This gave me ace vibes
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Girlfriend is very likely to be asexual, I am not. It’s fine for now but how do I deal with this in the future when I inevitably become frustrated with our dynamic?

Now I know many will write off this post because we’re both 17 and in a long distance relationship (so sex will not be for a while), but I still want to ask for advice

I have sexual attraction towards my girlfriend. I’m not asexual and all is fine

She is attracted to me in many ways but just not sexually. She said she’s never felt sexual attraction towards anybody ever and for me I’m a “not sure”, but still pretty much no sexual attraction

Due to our current circumstances I’m fine and I’d never think about breaking up with her over this, but I am guessing one day it will be frustrating for me, because I will want sex at some point and not having it will be hard

So any advice? How do we work through this?

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WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ALLOSEXUALS TO EXPLAIN WHAT SEXUAL ATTRACTION FEELS LIKE?

I've read at least three research papers and six blogs trying to figure this out but every one has a different answer. It's all contradictory and I'm just so confused like does it feel soft and warm or is it chilling and spiky? Is it like velcro? Because its starting to sound like its just velcro-y.

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I've been trying to figure this shit out since 4am this morning. I need answers!

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EDIT: Most helpful sources I found

https://www.yourtango.com/2021343498/what-sexual-attraction-feels-10-signs-look#:\~:text=According%20to%20hypnotherapist%20Keya%20Murthy,often%20feels%20like%20an%20obsession.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/comments/ag01h3/allosexuals\_what\_does\_sexual\_attraction\_feel\_like/

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https://asexualitytrust.org.nz/what-is-asexuality/attraction-vs-arousal/

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https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/81869-what-does-sexual-attraction-feel-like/

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@asexualityonreddit

stills from “dear luke love me” 💜
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Do y'all feel grossed out by people talking about their sex lives?

It makes me feel super uncomfortable and disgusted in some way. Same thing with sexual songs and stuff. It's getting really bad lately and idk why because I never really had that much of a problem with it, just recently it's really getting to me somehow.

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@asexualityonreddit

gaming at its finest
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How did that happen
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Important Note about Allo/Ace romantic relationships

I know some allos browse this sub to get advice about their ace partners and it is amazing to see so many people so passionate about caring for and respecting their partner. However, I do want to state that if your partner says they do not want to have sex/have no interest in sex DO NOT EXPECT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM. This should go without saying but I know from experience that some people don’t always understand that aces won’t necessarily do it just to please their partner. Please don’t do this. It puts everyone in a very uncomfortable situation overall and is just sketchy. I was in a position where my ex kept pressuring me to do things I was uncomfortable with and I made the mistake of being really passive about it until it hit a boiling point. I’m glad I was able to get the courage to stand up for myself and talk to him about it but I know that it’s is super hard for some people to say no, especially to someone they care about. If you truly care about your partner, please respect their boundaries. That is all, thank you!

https://redd.it/ptiiux
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Do you like the idea of being pregnant?

I know this is a private question, but I am really interested how you guys feel about it. I don't love kids like many of my friends, but the things that keep me from actually wanting to have an own kid someday the most are the pregnancy and birth tbh. I can't imagine anything more frightening than having to get a human out of your own body. Moreover, imagining all the hardships you have to go through for 9 months to get there just make me so uncomfortable. How about you? 🤔💜

View Poll

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@asexualityonreddit

The best relationship trade offer ♠️💜
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@asexualityonreddit

I'm just done with people sometimes >:(

Why do some people make everything sexual?? Today while I was waiting for my bus after school, I was just talking with some friends and enjoying a rasberry flavored lollipop my parter had given me. Just,, having a nice time. Some people sitting across the room kept beckoning me over like they wanted to talk to me. Kinda weird, but usually when I talk to random people it's to give them a compliment or something, so I think it could be fine. I go over (and thankfully one of my friends went with me) and this girl literally just says “you gonna suck me like you suck that lollipop?“ I was absolutely dumbfounded, and so incredibly uncomfortable. The only words I could think to even say were “I'm asexual please stop“ and walk away. It just made me feel so shitty and uncomfortable for just enjoying a piece of candy. I tried to shrug it off, but I felt lowkey awful for the rest of the afternoon. I just, how does anyone even think that's okay to say?? Thanks for listening, I didn't really have anyone to rant to :)

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Does anyone wish they were allo? Why?

Sorry if this is asked too much, I'm new here.

View Poll

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Gender is becoming kinda confusing

How am I 19(m?) to understand what it feels like to be masculine when it seems so much of what it means to be masculine is defined by sexuality or romanticism. What are gender roles how can I ascertain where I would or if I would fit into them. please help

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@asexualityonreddit

How old are you?

I am gonna be writing a speech for speech class on asexuality and would like to include a poll of my own sampling. I feel like this sub is a good sample of diverse people who all identify as ace in some capacity. If you feel inclined, leave something in the comments that you’d like me to include in my speech, something you wish allos would understand, a way people can be supportive, a myth you’d like to dispel, an analogy that you find works to explain asexuality. Anything. If I use it in my speech I will credit you but you will stay anonymous. (A Reddit user said: ___. Etc) thank y’all <3 (I’d like to get the biggest sample I can so please please vote)

[View Poll](https://www.reddit.com/poll/ptm9tb)

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@asexualityonreddit

Is it okay to identify as ace and bi?

I wish I had an easy, clear label to help people understand how I feel. I know I’m ace—I have no interest in sex or romance, but I also feel bi? Bi-WHAT is the part that’s confusing me. I see beautiful, talented, charismatic people and feel so infatuated by them, in a way that makes me feel warm and happy. I just don’t know what I want from them lol. Not sex, not a relationship, so what’s left? I have no idea what to call this sort of attraction. It’s also almost always on fictional characters. I’ve heard of comphet, but would that apply when I know I’m ace and still get these “crushes”?

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@asexualityonreddit

Figured my fellow aces would like this. Halloween garland found at my local dollar tree for, you guessed it, $1. 😉
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@asexualityonreddit