How tf do I date as a 19m asexual in college?
I’m (19m) and currently dealing with a lot of issues in college after realizing I’m asexual. How the fuck do I date people? It’s not like there’s some “A-sexual’R’Us” I can drive to. It feels like everyone in college expects guys to be down for sex 100% of the time, all the time, with whoever and if not then there’s something wrong with them or they’re weird.
I want to date, I want to kiss, I want to cuddle, I want to go to petting zoos together, I want to teach a girl all my favorite cooking recipes, write poetry about her and hide it in her closet so she finds it days later and smiles, but sex is so important to people my age that I can’t hold a relationship (I completely understand and respect that, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating)
I’m fortunate enough to be considered attractive, and I work really hard to be in good shape, and I’m lucky enough to get approached sometimes while out with friends. The problem? All these girls want are hookups. They’re all very pretty and I would love to date them, but as soon as they find out I’m not down to hookup, they get angry and leave even when I’m upfront about it. It makes me feel like I’m just a slab of meat for people to choose from and hey it’s ok because I’m a guy and guys are happy just to get some right?
It hurts even more when I find someone I really click with on an emotional level, but they are not asexual. I wish so desperately I could just have sex with them to make them happy, but my body literally does not get physically aroused. I would be so willing for some of the girls I’ve met as they are just the kindest, brightest, and most beautiful souls, but I can’t. And they are just as sad because while they like me to, no sex is a dealbreaker for them (which once again I totally understand and respect, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less)
My emotional life just feels like one long exhale and idk what to do about it. Any and all help appreciated.
https://redd.it/pim8ox
@asexualityonreddit
I’m (19m) and currently dealing with a lot of issues in college after realizing I’m asexual. How the fuck do I date people? It’s not like there’s some “A-sexual’R’Us” I can drive to. It feels like everyone in college expects guys to be down for sex 100% of the time, all the time, with whoever and if not then there’s something wrong with them or they’re weird.
I want to date, I want to kiss, I want to cuddle, I want to go to petting zoos together, I want to teach a girl all my favorite cooking recipes, write poetry about her and hide it in her closet so she finds it days later and smiles, but sex is so important to people my age that I can’t hold a relationship (I completely understand and respect that, but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating)
I’m fortunate enough to be considered attractive, and I work really hard to be in good shape, and I’m lucky enough to get approached sometimes while out with friends. The problem? All these girls want are hookups. They’re all very pretty and I would love to date them, but as soon as they find out I’m not down to hookup, they get angry and leave even when I’m upfront about it. It makes me feel like I’m just a slab of meat for people to choose from and hey it’s ok because I’m a guy and guys are happy just to get some right?
It hurts even more when I find someone I really click with on an emotional level, but they are not asexual. I wish so desperately I could just have sex with them to make them happy, but my body literally does not get physically aroused. I would be so willing for some of the girls I’ve met as they are just the kindest, brightest, and most beautiful souls, but I can’t. And they are just as sad because while they like me to, no sex is a dealbreaker for them (which once again I totally understand and respect, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less)
My emotional life just feels like one long exhale and idk what to do about it. Any and all help appreciated.
https://redd.it/pim8ox
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
How tf do I date as a 19m asexual in college?
I’m (19m) and currently dealing with a lot of issues in college after realizing I’m asexual. How the fuck do I date people? It’s not like there’s...
I’m looking for the asexual young adults 💜🤍🖤
So pick your age, hoomans. Comment below with your age if you’re ok with someone PM’ing you (probably not me though, I’m a shy one).
^Also ^I’m ^sorry ^I ^don’t ^know ^how ^I ^could ^make ^the ^title ^less ^pervy ^sounding.
View Poll
https://redd.it/pinn4u
@asexualityonreddit
So pick your age, hoomans. Comment below with your age if you’re ok with someone PM’ing you (probably not me though, I’m a shy one).
^Also ^I’m ^sorry ^I ^don’t ^know ^how ^I ^could ^make ^the ^title ^less ^pervy ^sounding.
View Poll
https://redd.it/pinn4u
@asexualityonreddit
I just realized that I'm asexual.
I've always felt somewhat asexual, but I decided to take a look for the prerequisites for aegosexuality, and decided that's probably what I am. Anyways, just wanted to say that. Have a nice day if you're reading this! :)
https://redd.it/pio0p2
@asexualityonreddit
I've always felt somewhat asexual, but I decided to take a look for the prerequisites for aegosexuality, and decided that's probably what I am. Anyways, just wanted to say that. Have a nice day if you're reading this! :)
https://redd.it/pio0p2
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I just realized that I'm asexual.
I've always felt somewhat asexual, but I decided to take a look for the prerequisites for aegosexuality, and decided that's probably what I am....
I was just rejected for being Ace 😕
I really liked this person, even though we haven’t known each other for long. We both said that we’d be open to a relationship if it went that way, but then I mentioned I was Ace and it all came crashing down in front of me. Why do people care about sex? Why did I have to be the one who was hurt just because I don’t wanna have sex? Why do I have to have sex with you to have some kind of value? Why do I have to give you something for you to like me? Why can’t I just enjoy sex and be “normal”? I’m 17 and have never kissed anyone or dated anyone, and I feel as though I’m missing out on being a teenager because everyone just wants sex. This hurts so much. I just really need a pep talk right now.
https://redd.it/pish4a
@asexualityonreddit
I really liked this person, even though we haven’t known each other for long. We both said that we’d be open to a relationship if it went that way, but then I mentioned I was Ace and it all came crashing down in front of me. Why do people care about sex? Why did I have to be the one who was hurt just because I don’t wanna have sex? Why do I have to have sex with you to have some kind of value? Why do I have to give you something for you to like me? Why can’t I just enjoy sex and be “normal”? I’m 17 and have never kissed anyone or dated anyone, and I feel as though I’m missing out on being a teenager because everyone just wants sex. This hurts so much. I just really need a pep talk right now.
https://redd.it/pish4a
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I was just rejected for being Ace 😕
I really liked this person, even though we haven’t known each other for long. We both said that we’d be open to a relationship if it went that...
Do you wear a black ring? Is it useful?
I've been thinking of wearing a black ring as a useful tool to communicate my asexuality without a thousand and one awkward conversations. Also maybe as a bit of self expression. Who else has done this? Is it widely enough understood to be communicative?
https://redd.it/pip1h0
@asexualityonreddit
I've been thinking of wearing a black ring as a useful tool to communicate my asexuality without a thousand and one awkward conversations. Also maybe as a bit of self expression. Who else has done this? Is it widely enough understood to be communicative?
https://redd.it/pip1h0
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Do you wear a black ring? Is it useful?
I've been thinking of wearing a black ring as a useful tool to communicate my asexuality without a thousand and one awkward conversations. Also...
A common expression when something is amazing is “it’s better than sex”. What would you replace “sex” with to make this saying apply to you?
Just curious, thought it would be a fun question. :)
https://redd.it/piubpe
@asexualityonreddit
Just curious, thought it would be a fun question. :)
https://redd.it/piubpe
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
A common expression when something is amazing is “it’s better than...
Just curious, thought it would be a fun question. :)
Are asexual hookups a thing?
Cause at this point im so fucking lonely and touch starved that im starting to think about the fact that hookups are a thing. And i mean, theyre a thing that i want no part of cause, come on, thats just a really bad idea for so many reasons. But what if there could be hookups with no sex? Like instead of casual sex, what if there could just be casual makeout sessions and cuddling? Instead of meeting some dude whos supposedly hot or whatever at some dumb party where everyones at least half drunk and going way too far (not that that would ever happen even if i did put myself in position for it to), why cant i just meet some cute guy at the library or something who wants to kiss for a bit and then cuddle and holds hands? I just dont understand why casual sex can be a thing but just casual nonsexual (and yeah some could argue that kissing is sexual but for me its not, and no i dont get it either) physical touch cant. I just want all the hugs and kisses and just to feel another person, but im not willing to put myself in a dangerous situation and participate in something ive never understood and have no desire to do just to get that. And im kinda pissed off that thats society.
https://redd.it/piuhg0
@asexualityonreddit
Cause at this point im so fucking lonely and touch starved that im starting to think about the fact that hookups are a thing. And i mean, theyre a thing that i want no part of cause, come on, thats just a really bad idea for so many reasons. But what if there could be hookups with no sex? Like instead of casual sex, what if there could just be casual makeout sessions and cuddling? Instead of meeting some dude whos supposedly hot or whatever at some dumb party where everyones at least half drunk and going way too far (not that that would ever happen even if i did put myself in position for it to), why cant i just meet some cute guy at the library or something who wants to kiss for a bit and then cuddle and holds hands? I just dont understand why casual sex can be a thing but just casual nonsexual (and yeah some could argue that kissing is sexual but for me its not, and no i dont get it either) physical touch cant. I just want all the hugs and kisses and just to feel another person, but im not willing to put myself in a dangerous situation and participate in something ive never understood and have no desire to do just to get that. And im kinda pissed off that thats society.
https://redd.it/piuhg0
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Are asexual hookups a thing?
Cause at this point im so fucking lonely and touch starved that im starting to think about the fact that hookups are a thing. And i mean, theyre a...
Out of curiosity....
What are your romatic orientations?
Write down your orientation if it's not here.
View Poll
https://redd.it/piymos
@asexualityonreddit
What are your romatic orientations?
Write down your orientation if it's not here.
View Poll
https://redd.it/piymos
@asexualityonreddit
Ace wallpaper requests I got from my tumblr! Hope y'all enjoy
https://redd.it/pj4z9w
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/pj4z9w
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Ace wallpaper requests I got from my tumblr! Hope y'all enjoy
Posted in r/Asexual by u/DeianiraJax • 57 points and 2 comments