Why do some people say sex is a “need”? instead of a “want” or “really want”?
Whenever I hear people talking about sex, they ALWAYS bring up the word “Need.” Like they be saying “Fulfill one of my needs” or “I need to have sex” and stuff like that.
Sex is not a need. If you don’t have sex, you can still be physically and emotionally happy. That may not be your first choice but it’s an option. A need is like food, water, sleep. If you don’t get it, you will die. Or emotional health like connection. There are many ways to connect with someone other then sex. People would say “but I need it to be emotionally happy or physically happy.” There are many tragic things that happen in life. Death of a loved one, Abuse, Losing a limb, these are situations where you would say a need was taken away from you. They still are able or try to find ways to be emotionally and physically healthy. So why do people make sex out to be something that if you don’t have, it’s not worth living sometimes. If you disagree it’s totally cool 😎 This is my personal opinion.
Edit: I do want to say that, as though I really do not believe in the idea of “needing” sex, I do NOT think anyone is “dumb” or “pathetic” for thinking this way. Thinking sex is a need does not mean you don’t deserve respect. You can think however you want to think on this topic. I will think how I want to also. If you do not agree with me, that is perfectly valid.
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@asexualityonreddit
Whenever I hear people talking about sex, they ALWAYS bring up the word “Need.” Like they be saying “Fulfill one of my needs” or “I need to have sex” and stuff like that.
Sex is not a need. If you don’t have sex, you can still be physically and emotionally happy. That may not be your first choice but it’s an option. A need is like food, water, sleep. If you don’t get it, you will die. Or emotional health like connection. There are many ways to connect with someone other then sex. People would say “but I need it to be emotionally happy or physically happy.” There are many tragic things that happen in life. Death of a loved one, Abuse, Losing a limb, these are situations where you would say a need was taken away from you. They still are able or try to find ways to be emotionally and physically healthy. So why do people make sex out to be something that if you don’t have, it’s not worth living sometimes. If you disagree it’s totally cool 😎 This is my personal opinion.
Edit: I do want to say that, as though I really do not believe in the idea of “needing” sex, I do NOT think anyone is “dumb” or “pathetic” for thinking this way. Thinking sex is a need does not mean you don’t deserve respect. You can think however you want to think on this topic. I will think how I want to also. If you do not agree with me, that is perfectly valid.
https://redd.it/pfcuaf
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Why do some people say sex is a “need”? instead of a “want” or...
Whenever I hear people talking about sex, they ALWAYS bring up the word “Need.” Like they be saying “Fulfill one of my needs” or “I need...
I watched this video and I feel validated by it. It also explains nicely how they perceive sex-positivity, sex-favourable and sex-repulsed to be. I hope this will help some of y'all!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUUDzDRLRDI
https://redd.it/pfeu7e
@asexualityonreddit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUUDzDRLRDI
https://redd.it/pfeu7e
@asexualityonreddit
YouTube
Asexuals and Sex
Let's talk about sex, baby.
LGBTQ Freedom Fund: https://www.lgbtqfund.org/
Chapters
00:00 Intro/Content Warning
02:01 Part One: How Can Asexuals Even Have Sex?!
05:52 Part Two: But I Thought Asexuals All Hated Sex?!
11:31 Part Three: Asexuals Can Be Into…
LGBTQ Freedom Fund: https://www.lgbtqfund.org/
Chapters
00:00 Intro/Content Warning
02:01 Part One: How Can Asexuals Even Have Sex?!
05:52 Part Two: But I Thought Asexuals All Hated Sex?!
11:31 Part Three: Asexuals Can Be Into…
Just found this virgin-shaming post on Tumblr
And the "lame" made me so angry I felt the need to share it here. I used in the "aphobia" flair just in case, but if wrong, I'll change it.
Honestly, what's wrong or lame about not having sex or being a virgin, for Christ's sake? Sorry, I'm going to scream in a pillow now.
https://preview.redd.it/gwy03gpwbqk71.jpg?width=301&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ea0c5121ebbff65932aee41c36750d2d2e4288f
https://redd.it/pfapjp
@asexualityonreddit
And the "lame" made me so angry I felt the need to share it here. I used in the "aphobia" flair just in case, but if wrong, I'll change it.
Honestly, what's wrong or lame about not having sex or being a virgin, for Christ's sake? Sorry, I'm going to scream in a pillow now.
https://preview.redd.it/gwy03gpwbqk71.jpg?width=301&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ea0c5121ebbff65932aee41c36750d2d2e4288f
https://redd.it/pfapjp
@asexualityonreddit
Partner Recently Came Out to Me
The other day me partner and I were on a video call (we're long-distance). They've known that I'm on the asexual spectrum since before we got together, and we've been together for over a year now.
While we were talking about stuff they said, "I've been talking to my housemate, and I think I'm asexual." They got more into the details about it and I was so happy for them figuring this out about themself. From the get-to they said that they're not a very sexual person, so they were chill with my asexuality. Little did they know they were also ace!
After they told me this I realized that we're such a mirror. Both of us are trans-masc/nonbinary, biromantic, and asexual. We both have a type and it's ourselves apparently. 😂
https://redd.it/pfg7aq
@asexualityonreddit
The other day me partner and I were on a video call (we're long-distance). They've known that I'm on the asexual spectrum since before we got together, and we've been together for over a year now.
While we were talking about stuff they said, "I've been talking to my housemate, and I think I'm asexual." They got more into the details about it and I was so happy for them figuring this out about themself. From the get-to they said that they're not a very sexual person, so they were chill with my asexuality. Little did they know they were also ace!
After they told me this I realized that we're such a mirror. Both of us are trans-masc/nonbinary, biromantic, and asexual. We both have a type and it's ourselves apparently. 😂
https://redd.it/pfg7aq
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Partner Recently Came Out to Me
The other day me partner and I were on a video call (we're long-distance). They've known that I'm on the asexual spectrum since before we got...
Getting Cozy With Labeling as Ace ☺️
Before I found I out I was aroace, I bounced around between a couple different labels a lot and would get all excited thinking “yes. Finally, I know how to describe the way I feel.” However, no label truly encompassed my experiences, so I always felt uneasy calling myself bi, queer, pan, etc.
Now, I’ve been identifying as ace for 4 months and aro for a little less than 2 and it’s a completely different experience!
I observe the things that kinda alienate me from my allo peers and realize with a smile that it’s because I’m ace. Even just hearing the word is a warm embrace full of love and assurance. It’s something that’s wiggled into my heart, seeped into my bones, and truly feels like home.
It’s become more than just a label but my IDENTITY as well.
https://redd.it/pfl8ku
@asexualityonreddit
Before I found I out I was aroace, I bounced around between a couple different labels a lot and would get all excited thinking “yes. Finally, I know how to describe the way I feel.” However, no label truly encompassed my experiences, so I always felt uneasy calling myself bi, queer, pan, etc.
Now, I’ve been identifying as ace for 4 months and aro for a little less than 2 and it’s a completely different experience!
I observe the things that kinda alienate me from my allo peers and realize with a smile that it’s because I’m ace. Even just hearing the word is a warm embrace full of love and assurance. It’s something that’s wiggled into my heart, seeped into my bones, and truly feels like home.
It’s become more than just a label but my IDENTITY as well.
https://redd.it/pfl8ku
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Getting Cozy With Labeling as Ace ☺️
Before I found I out I was aroace, I bounced around between a couple different labels a lot and would get all excited thinking “yes. Finally, I...
where yall mfs hiding
i go to a roller rink that gets about 350 people every night, and the estimated asexual population is 1% right? so that means statistically there are at least three of us. if im one, where the other two at? come out mfs i wanna be your friend
https://redd.it/pfo6oi
@asexualityonreddit
i go to a roller rink that gets about 350 people every night, and the estimated asexual population is 1% right? so that means statistically there are at least three of us. if im one, where the other two at? come out mfs i wanna be your friend
https://redd.it/pfo6oi
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
where yall mfs hiding
i go to a roller rink that gets about 350 people every night, and the estimated asexual population is 1% right? so that means statistically there...
Im a greysexual sex worker!
Oh my god, what a ride!
So for years and years I’ve essentially just been pretending to have a higher sex drive than what I do because my friends were doing it, they do it in movies, etc. Like, sex has always been portrayed as some essential ingredient to a happy life? I always thought I was broken because I honestly don’t get the hype over sex? Don’t get me wrong, I can enjoy it from time to time, but I’ve really gotta be in the right mood, otherwise nothing is gonna work on me and I’ll just lay there like a dead fish pretending (sorry if that’s too much information).
Anyway, the funny thing about all of this is I’m a sex worker (posting on an alt account to avoid unintentional promo). I’ve always felt that my job requires me to be horny like all of the time. I didn’t even start sex work for the sex part, I don’t even make that kind of content, I started because it just helped me to boost my self esteem and continues to make me feel good about my body!
Anyway, as I was taking quiz after quiz being told I’m a Grey Ace and listening to a Gary Vee podcast in the background, I realised I don’t need to pretend to be or feel anything, I just need to be true to myself and in that moment I felt such a massive weight lift from my shoulders and grey ace just felt right to me.
So yeah, if you got to the bottom, thank you for reading this short, chaotic story. Idk what I really expected from posting this, it just felt like to right place to let it out
https://redd.it/pfquut
@asexualityonreddit
Oh my god, what a ride!
So for years and years I’ve essentially just been pretending to have a higher sex drive than what I do because my friends were doing it, they do it in movies, etc. Like, sex has always been portrayed as some essential ingredient to a happy life? I always thought I was broken because I honestly don’t get the hype over sex? Don’t get me wrong, I can enjoy it from time to time, but I’ve really gotta be in the right mood, otherwise nothing is gonna work on me and I’ll just lay there like a dead fish pretending (sorry if that’s too much information).
Anyway, the funny thing about all of this is I’m a sex worker (posting on an alt account to avoid unintentional promo). I’ve always felt that my job requires me to be horny like all of the time. I didn’t even start sex work for the sex part, I don’t even make that kind of content, I started because it just helped me to boost my self esteem and continues to make me feel good about my body!
Anyway, as I was taking quiz after quiz being told I’m a Grey Ace and listening to a Gary Vee podcast in the background, I realised I don’t need to pretend to be or feel anything, I just need to be true to myself and in that moment I felt such a massive weight lift from my shoulders and grey ace just felt right to me.
So yeah, if you got to the bottom, thank you for reading this short, chaotic story. Idk what I really expected from posting this, it just felt like to right place to let it out
https://redd.it/pfquut
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Im a greysexual sex worker!
Oh my god, what a ride! So for years and years I’ve essentially just been pretending to have a higher sex drive than what I do because my...
Some things maybe are actually better left unlearned; self-discovery is not for the faint of heart. I would change in a heartbeat, wish on any star in the sky.
https://redd.it/pfl69j
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/pfl69j
@asexualityonreddit
If you are ace-spec, please share whether you have had one of these experiences:
I know these aren't mutually exclusive, I would've included some more common experiences if they didn't conflict so much, and I can't add more options
View Poll
https://redd.it/pfshdj
@asexualityonreddit
I know these aren't mutually exclusive, I would've included some more common experiences if they didn't conflict so much, and I can't add more options
View Poll
https://redd.it/pfshdj
@asexualityonreddit
People
You know, as a disabled person I sometimes can’t help but feel like a failure. But then I see people being like: “BuT HoW do YoU eVen knoW YOu cAn’T fEel SeXuaL aTtraCTiOn WhEn yOU neVeR eVeN TRiED it.”
And suddenly I’m like “Yup, not that much of a failure, could’ve been much worse.”
https://redd.it/pfstad
@asexualityonreddit
You know, as a disabled person I sometimes can’t help but feel like a failure. But then I see people being like: “BuT HoW do YoU eVen knoW YOu cAn’T fEel SeXuaL aTtraCTiOn WhEn yOU neVeR eVeN TRiED it.”
And suddenly I’m like “Yup, not that much of a failure, could’ve been much worse.”
https://redd.it/pfstad
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
People
You know, as a disabled person I sometimes can’t help but feel like a failure. But then I see people being like: “BuT HoW do YoU eVen knoW YOu...
A small win
I have an aphobic person in my life, who I (unfortunately) can't block. She tries to pose as my "friend" who "helps me understand myself", so she doesn't do anything harmful (like trying to tell my family), but having to listen to her falsely cheerful sermons is quite unpleasant.
Anyway, recently we had a small celebration, and she gave me a gift saying: "I know you're shy to buy these things, so I got them for you. After you try them, you will discover a new world". It was a big bottle of lube and 2 "toys". I considered telling her that asexual people can use them too, but that was boring. Then I remembered a certain fact that I accidentally read about lube...
A week passed and today she asked me if I liked her gift. I said that I loved it and added that it smelled too weak, so I added a bit of lemongrass oil and now it's my favorite product. After she started beaming with self-satisfaction, I continued: "See how well it moisturizes my hands! They were so dry from the constant hand-sanitizing, and it was really hard to find a product that doesn't irritate my skin!" The look on her face was, honestly, priceless.
TL;DR: Acephobe gave me lube, I used it as a hand moisturizer to spite her. (it moisturizes exceptionally well, btw)
https://redd.it/pfwetw
@asexualityonreddit
I have an aphobic person in my life, who I (unfortunately) can't block. She tries to pose as my "friend" who "helps me understand myself", so she doesn't do anything harmful (like trying to tell my family), but having to listen to her falsely cheerful sermons is quite unpleasant.
Anyway, recently we had a small celebration, and she gave me a gift saying: "I know you're shy to buy these things, so I got them for you. After you try them, you will discover a new world". It was a big bottle of lube and 2 "toys". I considered telling her that asexual people can use them too, but that was boring. Then I remembered a certain fact that I accidentally read about lube...
A week passed and today she asked me if I liked her gift. I said that I loved it and added that it smelled too weak, so I added a bit of lemongrass oil and now it's my favorite product. After she started beaming with self-satisfaction, I continued: "See how well it moisturizes my hands! They were so dry from the constant hand-sanitizing, and it was really hard to find a product that doesn't irritate my skin!" The look on her face was, honestly, priceless.
TL;DR: Acephobe gave me lube, I used it as a hand moisturizer to spite her. (it moisturizes exceptionally well, btw)
https://redd.it/pfwetw
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
A small win
I have an aphobic person in my life, who I (unfortunately) can't block. She tries to pose as my "friend" who "helps me understand myself", so she...