Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit

Father Watched An Anti-Ace Video Right Next To Me.

This actually happened about a week and a half ago, but it's still bothering me quite a bit. Found this subreddit today on accident, and decided I might as well rant a bit to get it off my chest.

I've always been of the opinion that I'm broken for not experiencing any sexual attraction to people, and had only discovered I was ace about 5 years ago. Growing up it was constantly hearing everyone seemingly talking about sex, growing obsessed with idols/celebrities and sexualizing them, sex jokes on the school bus, and genuine pregnant 4th graders and others getting caught in the bathrooms. I never saw the appeal, and figured while growing up that I was just weird for not getting it.

I've had crushes on boys, still kind of coming to terms that the girls I liked weren't just as friends as well despite being openly pansexual since around the same time as discovering asexuality, but never thought about having a sexual relationship with one. I'd made this apparent to my parents, and when I discovered the labels I felt comfortable with I had told them those as well.

My mom had the basic reaction of telling me I just don't have enough experience with sex, so I can't make that decision yet. Saying, "Isn't that a plant thing" about asexuality, and stating that it must not be real. She also felt as though being pan was just being bi, but wanting to be special. My dad, however, never really gave me much of an issue besides some lighthearted jokes here and there for the next few months.

About a week and a half ago, however, I had gone downstairs with my friend to get some food. Knowing I was down there, as my father was also in the kitchen, he put one of his Republican YouTubers on (I have zero issue with this, that's just specifically the type of YouTuber it was. Possibly Ben Shapiro or Steven Crowder, but I'm not sure. Not trying to make this political) and it was a video specifically made about Asexuality and Demisexuality. I stood in the kitchen looking in the fridge as I heard the guy on his screen loudly claim that Demisexuality and Asexuality are fake labels people had made up for attention. There was a lot more about how they're fake and stupid, but I try not to remember the specifics too much.

I basically finished making my food quickly, went to my room with it, and immediately started crying and texting my friend who was still downstairs asking her why he would do something like that right next to me. I told her that I'd completely understand if it was an accident, and he clicked off the video once realizing the topic and who was in the room, but he never did. He watched the whole video practically right next to me. It hurt a lot, and I can't help but wonder if he was just watching it to hear someone else's opinions, or if that is genuinely his thoughts and feelings towards me.

Unfortunately my mother passed away in 2018, so I never got any closure from her in terms of sexuality. So, to have my only other parent, the one I thought was accepting of me, watch something like that at all sucks. I also can't help but be so confused at the hatred towards those 2 labels. Are they not simply 2 words used to describe a person with little to no sexual feelings, and/or a person who only has those feelings when developing emotional attraction first? They're situations that many people have, why is it such a bad thing to have a word for it? Especially asexuality? People mostly except that some people have smaller sex drives (or even no sex drive), but when someone gives it a name it's not real? I'm just so frustrated and hurt about the whole situation, and it's only added to things my brain can tell me to invalidate my feelings and upset me.

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Father Watched An Anti-Ace Video Right Next To Me.

This actually happened about a week and a half ago, but it's still bothering me quite a bit. Found this subreddit today on accident, and decided I...

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