This is Dave, Dave loves and supports you and knows you are valid
https://redd.it/opvm4k
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/opvm4k
@asexualityonreddit
I was intoxicated and came out to my girlfriend.
I grew up my whole life being forced into the perfect straight Christian American male. I always thought "I'll feel sexual when I'm older" or "if I do it enough I will like it". Just over the last few months I've learned what asexuality is. I just always assumed something was wrong. I have hinted at it a few times and tried to talk about it but it never went well. My girlfriend was getting upset at me for the umpteenth time about how I don't initiate sex and I was too drunk. I blurted out and it blew up. She said things like "there is something wrong in your brain and you need therapy to change it" "I just want sex like normal couples" and "I love you but I need sex to feel good about myself". I was tired the cycle of being bullied into a corner then pretending like I love it for a while until I stop pretending then it starts over and over. I am very hurt and I don't know how to fix this. I was planning on thinking this through and approaching it gently.
https://redd.it/opuqwl
@asexualityonreddit
I grew up my whole life being forced into the perfect straight Christian American male. I always thought "I'll feel sexual when I'm older" or "if I do it enough I will like it". Just over the last few months I've learned what asexuality is. I just always assumed something was wrong. I have hinted at it a few times and tried to talk about it but it never went well. My girlfriend was getting upset at me for the umpteenth time about how I don't initiate sex and I was too drunk. I blurted out and it blew up. She said things like "there is something wrong in your brain and you need therapy to change it" "I just want sex like normal couples" and "I love you but I need sex to feel good about myself". I was tired the cycle of being bullied into a corner then pretending like I love it for a while until I stop pretending then it starts over and over. I am very hurt and I don't know how to fix this. I was planning on thinking this through and approaching it gently.
https://redd.it/opuqwl
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I was intoxicated and came out to my girlfriend.
I grew up my whole life being forced into the perfect straight Christian American male. I always thought "I'll feel sexual when I'm older" or "if...
I humbly put forward a notion to the Council, please Consider
https://redd.it/opyr7i
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/opyr7i
@asexualityonreddit
My allo friend couldn't comprehend me finding people beautiful
As the title says. We were walking and having a talk about looking at people in public and how to do so respectfully and such, and I mentioned that I of course also look at people on the streets and find them really beautiful. He stopped and turned as if I had just told him something really groundbreaking, and with furrowed brows he asked me why in the world I would go around finding people pretty. He asked "what is it about them that you could find pretty?". He knows I'm aroace, but that just leaves me thinking what the hell it is he would be looking at and finding beautiful in people. Like,,,, do you look at a pretty person and only ever think about bedding them??? But but what about their stunning face or beautiful hair color or intricate eyeliner and put-together outfit? Like I don't need to want to sex someone for me to find them pretty?? Sometimes the world disturbs me. Anyway have a good day now!
https://redd.it/opzew8
@asexualityonreddit
As the title says. We were walking and having a talk about looking at people in public and how to do so respectfully and such, and I mentioned that I of course also look at people on the streets and find them really beautiful. He stopped and turned as if I had just told him something really groundbreaking, and with furrowed brows he asked me why in the world I would go around finding people pretty. He asked "what is it about them that you could find pretty?". He knows I'm aroace, but that just leaves me thinking what the hell it is he would be looking at and finding beautiful in people. Like,,,, do you look at a pretty person and only ever think about bedding them??? But but what about their stunning face or beautiful hair color or intricate eyeliner and put-together outfit? Like I don't need to want to sex someone for me to find them pretty?? Sometimes the world disturbs me. Anyway have a good day now!
https://redd.it/opzew8
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
My allo friend couldn't comprehend me finding people beautiful
As the title says. We were walking and having a talk about looking at people in public and how to do so respectfully and such, and I mentioned...
My partner is a demi and it's honestly the best
I love them, and not because they are a demi but... It's nice, no pressure to do sexual things, they treat sex as just another activity like reading together or watching a movie (and I recently discovered that they enjoy those things much more than kinky ones) god they don't even understand things in any sexual context that doesn't have me in it, and it's fun to explain them things and how people think (even if they gag sometimes) . I feel like sex and being a "man" always made things a little forced for me, i tried being with a lot of people but... It never really worked, but in this relationship we talk about everything, cuddle and have fun with no pressure to be something we are not, i accept them, they accept me, and again, I know this doesn't necessarily have to do with them being a demi but... It's just nice the way they view things, and I love them so much.
Edit: I personally indentify as aroflux myself, I don't know if it is even the right term because I am alloromantic a lot of the time, it's just that it fluctuates all the way down to even aromantic for days/weeks sometimes, it honestly bothers me a bit but I've learned to live with it and it's not so bad
https://redd.it/opzjjg
@asexualityonreddit
I love them, and not because they are a demi but... It's nice, no pressure to do sexual things, they treat sex as just another activity like reading together or watching a movie (and I recently discovered that they enjoy those things much more than kinky ones) god they don't even understand things in any sexual context that doesn't have me in it, and it's fun to explain them things and how people think (even if they gag sometimes) . I feel like sex and being a "man" always made things a little forced for me, i tried being with a lot of people but... It never really worked, but in this relationship we talk about everything, cuddle and have fun with no pressure to be something we are not, i accept them, they accept me, and again, I know this doesn't necessarily have to do with them being a demi but... It's just nice the way they view things, and I love them so much.
Edit: I personally indentify as aroflux myself, I don't know if it is even the right term because I am alloromantic a lot of the time, it's just that it fluctuates all the way down to even aromantic for days/weeks sometimes, it honestly bothers me a bit but I've learned to live with it and it's not so bad
https://redd.it/opzjjg
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
My partner is a demi and it's honestly the best
I love them, and not because they are a demi but... It's nice, no pressure to do sexual things, they treat sex as just another activity like...
Ahhhhhhahaha so I accidentally said us to my sister
I’m super closeted ace and me and my sister both love lgbt memes (I think she might be a closet bi, but this isn’t about her) and so naturally we were talking about the bi ace war. We get on the subject of the wars end and I said, “Didn’t they make pease by offering US lemon bars?” Then I feel my eyes go wide and color leave my face, she hardly noticed but I felt like I died and reincarnated instantly. Not really a point to this story maybe one of you will find it funny or something.
https://redd.it/oq199m
@asexualityonreddit
I’m super closeted ace and me and my sister both love lgbt memes (I think she might be a closet bi, but this isn’t about her) and so naturally we were talking about the bi ace war. We get on the subject of the wars end and I said, “Didn’t they make pease by offering US lemon bars?” Then I feel my eyes go wide and color leave my face, she hardly noticed but I felt like I died and reincarnated instantly. Not really a point to this story maybe one of you will find it funny or something.
https://redd.it/oq199m
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
Ahhhhhhahaha so I accidentally said us to my sister
I’m super closeted ace and me and my sister both love lgbt memes (I think she might be a closet bi, but this isn’t about her) and so naturally we...
I recently came out to my mother about my asexuality (and identifying as agender) after questioning who I was and why I didn't feel the way others my age did. So, for my birthday, she made an ace-inspired cake to show her support for my asexuality. Plus, as we all know, cake is better than sex!
https://redd.it/oq0jh4
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/oq0jh4
@asexualityonreddit
I discussed asexuality with my therapist and ended up feeling uncomfortable
First of all, hi, this is my first post ever. I wasn’t really sure who to talk this with and this seemed like a good start.
I’ve been in therapy for almost a year now. I’m still hesitant about the whole process because, even as the most urgent issue improved (I was having panic attacks with chest pains) I now feel kind of lost about where it is going and what we’re even doing.
We’ve been kind of talking about me having fear of abandonment and it led to him asking my sexual preferences. I told him I don’t have any, and we’ve delved deep into it for two sessions now. I explained to him that I’ve never felt sexual attraction and that I can’t explain how it is not to feel it because it’s something I just haven’t ever noticed.
Two things rubbed me the wrong way: he says that, deep down, asexuality is a “choice”, and that in my case specifically, I might have “decided” to be asexual in order to spare more risks of abandonment, and even when I tried to explain I didn’t see it that way, he doubled down on that take. He then proceeded to share an anecdote about a teacher (I can explain it if it’s needed?), basically comparing situations of abuse with my lack of sexual attraction. Which again, no. I’ve tried not to reject completely his opinions in the past, since I believe part of my process is listening to other perspectives, but it really rubbed me the wrong way that he was so insistent about it. Like, he didn’t say “Maybe this is another possibility”, it was more of a “This is what happens and you just don’t want to see it”.
So all this rambling is to ask what do you think about this? I’ve thought about dropping this therapy before, but I haven’t done it because i also think it’s possible I’m just running away from the hard subjects we sometimes touch, but this one made me specially uncomfortable. I don’t know if I’m being squeamish or not.
Sorry for rambling.
https://redd.it/oq58d6
@asexualityonreddit
First of all, hi, this is my first post ever. I wasn’t really sure who to talk this with and this seemed like a good start.
I’ve been in therapy for almost a year now. I’m still hesitant about the whole process because, even as the most urgent issue improved (I was having panic attacks with chest pains) I now feel kind of lost about where it is going and what we’re even doing.
We’ve been kind of talking about me having fear of abandonment and it led to him asking my sexual preferences. I told him I don’t have any, and we’ve delved deep into it for two sessions now. I explained to him that I’ve never felt sexual attraction and that I can’t explain how it is not to feel it because it’s something I just haven’t ever noticed.
Two things rubbed me the wrong way: he says that, deep down, asexuality is a “choice”, and that in my case specifically, I might have “decided” to be asexual in order to spare more risks of abandonment, and even when I tried to explain I didn’t see it that way, he doubled down on that take. He then proceeded to share an anecdote about a teacher (I can explain it if it’s needed?), basically comparing situations of abuse with my lack of sexual attraction. Which again, no. I’ve tried not to reject completely his opinions in the past, since I believe part of my process is listening to other perspectives, but it really rubbed me the wrong way that he was so insistent about it. Like, he didn’t say “Maybe this is another possibility”, it was more of a “This is what happens and you just don’t want to see it”.
So all this rambling is to ask what do you think about this? I’ve thought about dropping this therapy before, but I haven’t done it because i also think it’s possible I’m just running away from the hard subjects we sometimes touch, but this one made me specially uncomfortable. I don’t know if I’m being squeamish or not.
Sorry for rambling.
https://redd.it/oq58d6
@asexualityonreddit
reddit
I discussed asexuality with my therapist and ended up feeling...
First of all, hi, this is my first post ever. I wasn’t really sure who to talk this with and this seemed like a good start. I’ve been in therapy...
New yarnz coming today 😁 Not sure what I wanna knit with it yet (and I'm not exactly a seasoned knitter, tho I'd consider myself "capable" lol), but I'm excited anyway 🖤💜🤍
https://redd.it/oq5oep
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/oq5oep
@asexualityonreddit
I made a mille crepe cake for the first time last week! I kinda over-whipped the frosting, but other than that, I'm really happy with how it turned out!
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/oq4fd8
https://redd.it/oq4fd8
@asexualityonreddit
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/oq4fd8
https://redd.it/oq4fd8
@asexualityonreddit