Asexuality and Aromanticism on Reddit

I mean, same.
https://redd.it/nsut5j
@asexualityonreddit

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Early signs before I realized I was ace

- When everyone changed from talking about their favorite pokemon/dinosaur to who they had a crush on, I felt incredibly confused and left out. I remember asking what a crush was, how do I get one, and why don't I have one? Jenny has one, why don't I? It's not fair!

- Adults would tell me I was just a late bloomer, I'd catch up eventually. I was just a kid afterall, I should enjoy being a kid while it lasted. I'm 28 now and in some ways I do feel like I've caught up, but definitely not in the ways everyone else around me seemed to experience it.

- When "I don't know" stopped being an acceptable answer about crushes or who I like-liked, I was encouraged to lie about it so the other kids would let it go / so I could fit in. I quickly learned there was a right and wrong answer too - I couldn't just say a random name, they might think that person is gross! Or I might imply I'm out to "steal" someone else's crush! It was best to say the same name that someone else outside of the friend group. That way it's a verified not-gross person and no one in that group will think you're out to steal their crush. Win win!

- My friends quickly took interest in my life and insisted I needed to be in a relationship, whereas I didn't really have any interest in anyone and was mostly worried the other person would pressure me to do more than I was comfortable with. They tried setting me up with people a lot and for a while, the ol' "my mom said no / my mom said I can't date until I'm x years old" worked for awhile, but didn't last long.

- Pete Wentz from Fall Out Boy had some sort of leak or maybe it was a legit photo shoot, I can't remember - anyway he was fully nude and all my friends were gushing over it. I didn't have access to the internet back then and didn't buy magazines so I hadn't (and still haven't) seen it. One of my friends asked if I wanted to see it, I remember thinking "Why? I was in the sex Ed class too, Destiny. I know what a penis looks like, thank you."

That's all I can think of now, but I'm sure there's more. I wish I had known about this concept long ago, it would have helped save me from years of confusion, self hatred, and just generally letting people cross every boundary I had because I felt like that's what I was supposed to want since everyone around me did too. The whole "if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?" bit was pushed on me whenever I asked an adult why I couldn't do or have xyz like so&so did, but never when it came to crushes or attraction or relationships. Anyway, thanks for coming to my a-spec talk. Happy pride month! 🖤🤍💜

https://redd.it/nsv7l3
@asexualityonreddit

Early signs before I realized I was ace

- When everyone changed from talking about their favorite pokemon/dinosaur to who they had a crush on, I felt incredibly confused and left out. I...

116 views18:20