How did yk u were asexual
I have never had any serious relationship beyond romantic feelings that never got anywhere, and even in those situations I just never felt attraction to them in the sense where I’d actually wanna physically do something with them beyond handholding, kissing and hugging. I’m not sure if I’m just young with no experience since I’ve never actually done anything but the thought of me actually having sex especially penetration makes me feel not uncomfortable but just icky but idk if that’s just my inexperience talking or bc I may be asexual bc I’m not against sexual things I js don’t feel much sexual desire when it comes to ppl especially those ik like I’ll say stuff for example ab an actor i find attractive but I js would never wanna actually do those things but I don’t wanna label anything bc I’m younger n think I can find room to explore my feelings more but I js thought id come here to ask anyone how they knew they were asexual?
https://redd.it/1pt702u
@asexualityonreddit
I have never had any serious relationship beyond romantic feelings that never got anywhere, and even in those situations I just never felt attraction to them in the sense where I’d actually wanna physically do something with them beyond handholding, kissing and hugging. I’m not sure if I’m just young with no experience since I’ve never actually done anything but the thought of me actually having sex especially penetration makes me feel not uncomfortable but just icky but idk if that’s just my inexperience talking or bc I may be asexual bc I’m not against sexual things I js don’t feel much sexual desire when it comes to ppl especially those ik like I’ll say stuff for example ab an actor i find attractive but I js would never wanna actually do those things but I don’t wanna label anything bc I’m younger n think I can find room to explore my feelings more but I js thought id come here to ask anyone how they knew they were asexual?
https://redd.it/1pt702u
@asexualityonreddit
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Some of you are unbearably normative about relationships, tbh.
I've noticed in this sub that when the topic of relationship boundaries comes up, the comments often trend extremely hetero/allonormative. Maybe it's just because the communities I'm in elsewhere online and irl just don't adhere to those norms, but it's baffling to me every time to see it here, of all places.
The types of things I usually see said boil down to basically "you should let your partner dictate your boundaries with other people". Not phrased so bluntly, of course, but a very typical "That's Only Okay If Your Partner Is Comfortable" kind of sentiment, never examining or acknowledging whether it's reasonable for the partner to be uncomfortable in the first place. I've seen people argue on multiple occasions that touch that is neither romantic nor sexual is disrespectful to a partner. I've seen a fair bit of negativity towards platonic intimacy, particularly if one or both friends are otherwise romantically entangled with someone.
It is the same to me as telling a girl she shouldn't have male friends if her boyfriend doesn't like it. He should learn how to be comfortable with it instead of barring her from having those friendships; I feel the same way about platonic intimacy. A romantic partner should learn to get comfortable with the other person's platonic relationships, not demand that they change them. Unlearn the insecurity instead of catering to it.
I also think a vital part of asexual and aromantic advocacy is dismantling allonormativity. Not just destroying the idea that sex and romance are necessary, but also ideas about what defines a relationship to begin with. I don't think it's helpful to anyone to continue regurgitating the standard that other relationships should be pushed to the back burner if you have a partner, or that intimacy in other relationships must be withdrawn for a partner's sake. It's sad to see, especially as someone in a very committed relationship where our friendships are still physically affectionate and vitally important.
https://redd.it/1pt8ph0
@asexualityonreddit
I've noticed in this sub that when the topic of relationship boundaries comes up, the comments often trend extremely hetero/allonormative. Maybe it's just because the communities I'm in elsewhere online and irl just don't adhere to those norms, but it's baffling to me every time to see it here, of all places.
The types of things I usually see said boil down to basically "you should let your partner dictate your boundaries with other people". Not phrased so bluntly, of course, but a very typical "That's Only Okay If Your Partner Is Comfortable" kind of sentiment, never examining or acknowledging whether it's reasonable for the partner to be uncomfortable in the first place. I've seen people argue on multiple occasions that touch that is neither romantic nor sexual is disrespectful to a partner. I've seen a fair bit of negativity towards platonic intimacy, particularly if one or both friends are otherwise romantically entangled with someone.
It is the same to me as telling a girl she shouldn't have male friends if her boyfriend doesn't like it. He should learn how to be comfortable with it instead of barring her from having those friendships; I feel the same way about platonic intimacy. A romantic partner should learn to get comfortable with the other person's platonic relationships, not demand that they change them. Unlearn the insecurity instead of catering to it.
I also think a vital part of asexual and aromantic advocacy is dismantling allonormativity. Not just destroying the idea that sex and romance are necessary, but also ideas about what defines a relationship to begin with. I don't think it's helpful to anyone to continue regurgitating the standard that other relationships should be pushed to the back burner if you have a partner, or that intimacy in other relationships must be withdrawn for a partner's sake. It's sad to see, especially as someone in a very committed relationship where our friendships are still physically affectionate and vitally important.
https://redd.it/1pt8ph0
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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