The other subreddits or anything LGBTQIA+ related are such ace phobia.
If you saw my bio then; you’d understand.
…and with those one two for my face that I’m prone to…
If i didn’t have that…
Maybe I would be lucky and I could find me a Stone Cold Masculine pixie haired Butch lesbian woman who just happens to like what gets put to stereotype, is asexual, does have their parts and what they do; but does not have those two problems with their face and does not have autism.
But nooooo. Good damn hell forbid I even try to step my digital foot into the digital door of those other subreddits for us without being told that I’m stereotyping, I must be with the NonBinary side of that Butch and that if I really truly liked that Butch we all know of; then I better fix my face and accept sex.
.…..
If I don’t like men and their dangling sticks; what makes you think my Grunge 90’s gay ass wants a strap on?
Yeah that’s right I am a grungy opposite of butch.
What I am is what I am is what you are or what?
Such bullshit.
https://redd.it/1pt0ol9
@asexualityonreddit
If you saw my bio then; you’d understand.
…and with those one two for my face that I’m prone to…
If i didn’t have that…
Maybe I would be lucky and I could find me a Stone Cold Masculine pixie haired Butch lesbian woman who just happens to like what gets put to stereotype, is asexual, does have their parts and what they do; but does not have those two problems with their face and does not have autism.
But nooooo. Good damn hell forbid I even try to step my digital foot into the digital door of those other subreddits for us without being told that I’m stereotyping, I must be with the NonBinary side of that Butch and that if I really truly liked that Butch we all know of; then I better fix my face and accept sex.
.…..
If I don’t like men and their dangling sticks; what makes you think my Grunge 90’s gay ass wants a strap on?
Yeah that’s right I am a grungy opposite of butch.
What I am is what I am is what you are or what?
Such bullshit.
https://redd.it/1pt0ol9
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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It’s bad enough I don’t have any interest in dating right now
https://redd.it/1pt23bc
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1pt23bc
@asexualityonreddit
How did yk u were asexual
I have never had any serious relationship beyond romantic feelings that never got anywhere, and even in those situations I just never felt attraction to them in the sense where I’d actually wanna physically do something with them beyond handholding, kissing and hugging. I’m not sure if I’m just young with no experience since I’ve never actually done anything but the thought of me actually having sex especially penetration makes me feel not uncomfortable but just icky but idk if that’s just my inexperience talking or bc I may be asexual bc I’m not against sexual things I js don’t feel much sexual desire when it comes to ppl especially those ik like I’ll say stuff for example ab an actor i find attractive but I js would never wanna actually do those things but I don’t wanna label anything bc I’m younger n think I can find room to explore my feelings more but I js thought id come here to ask anyone how they knew they were asexual?
https://redd.it/1pt702u
@asexualityonreddit
I have never had any serious relationship beyond romantic feelings that never got anywhere, and even in those situations I just never felt attraction to them in the sense where I’d actually wanna physically do something with them beyond handholding, kissing and hugging. I’m not sure if I’m just young with no experience since I’ve never actually done anything but the thought of me actually having sex especially penetration makes me feel not uncomfortable but just icky but idk if that’s just my inexperience talking or bc I may be asexual bc I’m not against sexual things I js don’t feel much sexual desire when it comes to ppl especially those ik like I’ll say stuff for example ab an actor i find attractive but I js would never wanna actually do those things but I don’t wanna label anything bc I’m younger n think I can find room to explore my feelings more but I js thought id come here to ask anyone how they knew they were asexual?
https://redd.it/1pt702u
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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Some of you are unbearably normative about relationships, tbh.
I've noticed in this sub that when the topic of relationship boundaries comes up, the comments often trend extremely hetero/allonormative. Maybe it's just because the communities I'm in elsewhere online and irl just don't adhere to those norms, but it's baffling to me every time to see it here, of all places.
The types of things I usually see said boil down to basically "you should let your partner dictate your boundaries with other people". Not phrased so bluntly, of course, but a very typical "That's Only Okay If Your Partner Is Comfortable" kind of sentiment, never examining or acknowledging whether it's reasonable for the partner to be uncomfortable in the first place. I've seen people argue on multiple occasions that touch that is neither romantic nor sexual is disrespectful to a partner. I've seen a fair bit of negativity towards platonic intimacy, particularly if one or both friends are otherwise romantically entangled with someone.
It is the same to me as telling a girl she shouldn't have male friends if her boyfriend doesn't like it. He should learn how to be comfortable with it instead of barring her from having those friendships; I feel the same way about platonic intimacy. A romantic partner should learn to get comfortable with the other person's platonic relationships, not demand that they change them. Unlearn the insecurity instead of catering to it.
I also think a vital part of asexual and aromantic advocacy is dismantling allonormativity. Not just destroying the idea that sex and romance are necessary, but also ideas about what defines a relationship to begin with. I don't think it's helpful to anyone to continue regurgitating the standard that other relationships should be pushed to the back burner if you have a partner, or that intimacy in other relationships must be withdrawn for a partner's sake. It's sad to see, especially as someone in a very committed relationship where our friendships are still physically affectionate and vitally important.
https://redd.it/1pt8ph0
@asexualityonreddit
I've noticed in this sub that when the topic of relationship boundaries comes up, the comments often trend extremely hetero/allonormative. Maybe it's just because the communities I'm in elsewhere online and irl just don't adhere to those norms, but it's baffling to me every time to see it here, of all places.
The types of things I usually see said boil down to basically "you should let your partner dictate your boundaries with other people". Not phrased so bluntly, of course, but a very typical "That's Only Okay If Your Partner Is Comfortable" kind of sentiment, never examining or acknowledging whether it's reasonable for the partner to be uncomfortable in the first place. I've seen people argue on multiple occasions that touch that is neither romantic nor sexual is disrespectful to a partner. I've seen a fair bit of negativity towards platonic intimacy, particularly if one or both friends are otherwise romantically entangled with someone.
It is the same to me as telling a girl she shouldn't have male friends if her boyfriend doesn't like it. He should learn how to be comfortable with it instead of barring her from having those friendships; I feel the same way about platonic intimacy. A romantic partner should learn to get comfortable with the other person's platonic relationships, not demand that they change them. Unlearn the insecurity instead of catering to it.
I also think a vital part of asexual and aromantic advocacy is dismantling allonormativity. Not just destroying the idea that sex and romance are necessary, but also ideas about what defines a relationship to begin with. I don't think it's helpful to anyone to continue regurgitating the standard that other relationships should be pushed to the back burner if you have a partner, or that intimacy in other relationships must be withdrawn for a partner's sake. It's sad to see, especially as someone in a very committed relationship where our friendships are still physically affectionate and vitally important.
https://redd.it/1pt8ph0
@asexualityonreddit
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My boyfriend thinks he might be ace
Recently with my boyfriend we were talking about some stuff, and recently he's comming to a conclusion where he thinks he could be asexual or somewhere in that spectrum, as a joke I told him that if he want confident in his own assesment I could try to summon the asexual counsil of Reddit, and he actually liked the idea to maybe read from the lived experiences of others, and since he does not have a Reddit account he asked me to use mine and try to translate (he does not speak English and I don't really like most LGBTQA+ subreddits on our home language as they tend to be weirdly phobic) and so I'll try to point by point give his toughts and hope the counsil can help more than me, the boring allo can
1)He's seldom in the mood for fun time: As he points to It, he rarely wants to do stuff, while he does find me atractive (yay) he rarely feels like doing so, recently he's been a little more interested but as we began dating (6 years now) he struggled a lot to even consider the idea and mellowed to It as he got closer (I'm thinking maybe demisexual)
2) He finds me and other men atractive but does not like to think about himself doing stuff: I tried explaining that one thing its thinking some people are atractive and other Is thinking you can then in your bedroom, I guess due to culture he's struggling with that part
3) He's enjoyed It before: Like I said he does not often want to do something but when he does he enjoys It and so he feels It might invalidate the idea of being asexual, I don't think It does, or at the very least might put him somewhere in the spectrum thats not allo itself, tough I don't really think I have the language to explain It beyond a food alegory, as if he most of the time does not like pie but every now and then a specific slice of pie Is appealing enough to enjoy, it does not negate that he usually does not like pie
Mainly these are his toughts with some of my own toughts about it, I dont try to label him but if he does find any label around this confirting I think at the very least I should try and help him understand what I can.
https://redd.it/1ptfeu1
@asexualityonreddit
Recently with my boyfriend we were talking about some stuff, and recently he's comming to a conclusion where he thinks he could be asexual or somewhere in that spectrum, as a joke I told him that if he want confident in his own assesment I could try to summon the asexual counsil of Reddit, and he actually liked the idea to maybe read from the lived experiences of others, and since he does not have a Reddit account he asked me to use mine and try to translate (he does not speak English and I don't really like most LGBTQA+ subreddits on our home language as they tend to be weirdly phobic) and so I'll try to point by point give his toughts and hope the counsil can help more than me, the boring allo can
1)He's seldom in the mood for fun time: As he points to It, he rarely wants to do stuff, while he does find me atractive (yay) he rarely feels like doing so, recently he's been a little more interested but as we began dating (6 years now) he struggled a lot to even consider the idea and mellowed to It as he got closer (I'm thinking maybe demisexual)
2) He finds me and other men atractive but does not like to think about himself doing stuff: I tried explaining that one thing its thinking some people are atractive and other Is thinking you can then in your bedroom, I guess due to culture he's struggling with that part
3) He's enjoyed It before: Like I said he does not often want to do something but when he does he enjoys It and so he feels It might invalidate the idea of being asexual, I don't think It does, or at the very least might put him somewhere in the spectrum thats not allo itself, tough I don't really think I have the language to explain It beyond a food alegory, as if he most of the time does not like pie but every now and then a specific slice of pie Is appealing enough to enjoy, it does not negate that he usually does not like pie
Mainly these are his toughts with some of my own toughts about it, I dont try to label him but if he does find any label around this confirting I think at the very least I should try and help him understand what I can.
https://redd.it/1ptfeu1
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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