Wait, so what is sexual attraction?

I just learned what asexuality is, and I might be ace, I’m not sure.

But my question is: do people actually look at another person and just… want to have sex with them? People just go: “Aw, man, that dude’s so hot, I wanna get in bed with them.” That actually happens?

Sorry if the way I phrased it was weird, it’s just something I’ve never actually considered to be a thing, I don’t know.

https://redd.it/1pjjjgw
@asexualityonreddit

Can you be asexual if you experience sexual attraction to people?

Basically just the title. If someone has sexual attraction to individual people, like you can look at someone and think "oh they're hot" but you have a repulsion to sexual activity, is that still asexual? In my specific case the sex aversion most likely comes from some negative experiences (not trying to do one of those cringe reddit vent posts, just clarifying information) and I was wondering if that actually counts?

https://redd.it/1pjs2ki
@asexualityonreddit

My official coming out as both asexual and aromantic.

I (29M) posted about this months before but took it down as I was a little unsure and was debating whether or not to talk about this, because I'm a fairly private person and don't usually like to talk about myself all that much.

I've been questioning this ever since I was 13 or 14. And up until just a few years ago, I finally found the words that describe me to a T. They basically described what I have felt ever since middle school.

I never understood why people were so obsessed with relationships, romance, and sex since I never felt anything regarding it. I never understood why people were so eager to get into relationships and have always thought

"Why are people so obsessed with sex and relationships?".

I was always that one kid that didn't have any desire to get with someone, and didn't see the need, because I felt whole by myself.

Over the years I have been asked if I have a girlfriend and my answer has always been the equivalent of:

"No and I don't see the need for one".

I don't actively seek out anyone

I would get confused looks from people all the time and I would just chuckle to myself knowing that I was expecting them to react that way.

I don't experience any form of sexual attraction towards anybody nor do I experience any romantic attraction towards anybody, but I do fantasize a LOT when it comes to sex and regularly masturbate.

I can appreciate the aesthetics and looks of someone but it doesn't go any further than that as I don't see the need for being intimate with anyone, since I think its gross in action.

I'm very uncomfortable with being touched in general and don't like the sensation.

This is why I'm coming out as asexual and aromantic (Aro/Ace). I've also discovered the term aegosexual, which also describes me regarding the idea of sex and fantasizing about it

I'm perfectly happy being by myself and a lot of people find it hard to say that because deep down they seek companionship and are lonely.

For me personally,

I don't experience loneliness the way others do as I've never longed to be with anybody, nor do I wish to get married or have kids. I've never wanted it to begin with. I never really saw myself following society's expectations around that and completely rejected it all together.

I would be perfectly happy living alone, with a cat or dog and that would be more than enough for me. I don't drink, do drugs or smoke, as I don't find them appealing and they smell horrible. The only thing that would come remotely close is something like alcohol removed wine or something like that.

https://redd.it/1pjszr9
@asexualityonreddit

Those of you who came out to your parents, how did they react?

I came out (asexual lesbian) to my mother earlier this week. While nothing catastrophic happened and she acknowledged it, she has also been very cold with me since, either giving me simple one-letter answers or ignoring my messages all together, even casual ones like "how are you," which is really uncharacteristic of her. It was kinda shocking to me and still makes me sad, since I feel we always had a pretty good relationship and she was never really one to be super hateful, and has in the past even given me the "I'll love you no matter what," yet now it feels that she's turned around and I just don't understand why. Part of me hopes that it's just like an initial shock of sorts and she will come around, since that has happened before, but I still worry a little bit and kinda it breaks my heart that something so irrelevant could strain our relationship.

So I would just like to hear other people's experiences. Were your parents negative? neutral? How fast did they come around? What did you do to help them come around etc. idk just anything, thank you

https://redd.it/1pjtoug
@asexualityonreddit

This is me rn
https://redd.it/1pjv237
@asexualityonreddit

Came across this on Twitter today and it really brightened my mood
https://redd.it/1pjwcn7
@asexualityonreddit

The garlic bread analogy is sending me lmfao
https://redd.it/1pjx4nr
@asexualityonreddit

The way these emojis aligned in my frequently used tab is way too perfect for Aros. 🥖 > ♥️
https://redd.it/1pjx4k6
@asexualityonreddit

Ace pride milk carton design by me!

https://redd.it/1pk0pc7
@asexualityonreddit

Hi! Btw, I'm new to this community.



https://redd.it/1pk2h3d
@asexualityonreddit

I said yes !

https://redd.it/1pkcdq7
@asexualityonreddit

thank god my brother's too small to deal any damage
https://redd.it/1pk925q
@asexualityonreddit

something is wrong with her
https://www.reddit.com/gallery/1pjo6qh

https://redd.it/1pkgpun
@asexualityonreddit

Am i Asexual?

Hey. i don’t think i fully fall under asexuality, because i think about having sex and i get turned on but i can’t stand having actual sex i’ve tried a lot of different things during intercourse and nothing does it for me i also don’t get off to self pleasure either nor porn. i dont know if my body is just broken. i don’t really know why i’m posting this on r/asexual i just have a feeling i’ll get a good piece of advice or i hope to get pointed in the right direction.

https://redd.it/1pkiflc
@asexualityonreddit

Aphobic things people have said to me after they found out I was ace.

"I don't get why you need a big fancy word just to say you're a prude." -Guy from school.

"So you're saying you won't let me hit? Like ever?" -Guy from school.

"God, this new generation and the BLTXYZ crap." -Old lady who saw my ace pin while in a grocery line.

"You didn't need the label. Who'd wanna fuck you anyway?" -Girl from school.

"Human beings are sexual creatures by nature. You want to tell me that you're an exception to nature?" -Biology teacher.

"Come on, at least explore a little before making any decisions. I can help." -Guidance counselor. This was just creepy.

I've been out for a year, and these are some of the new ones. I didn't even directly tell some of these people I was ace. Some found out via rumor, and I have it in my insta bio, and they feel the need to comment, including the guidance counselor, who told me this in my dms. Don't worry, he was fired.

https://redd.it/1pkg4il
@asexualityonreddit

Thought I was in this sub when it came across my feed
https://redd.it/1pkhmjb
@asexualityonreddit