How do you know?
Hi everyone, I’m looking for some advice and perspective. I’m 22F, married, and trying to figure out if I might be asexual.
I grew up in a Christian household where sex before marriage wasn’t allowed, so for a long time I thought my avoidance of sex was just because of that upbringing. But even now, with my husband, I don’t really feel sexual desire. I find him attractive and we’re truly best friends, we love spending time together, have the same friend group and shared hobbies but I’ve never had that “urge” or “hunger” for sex that my friends or my husband describe.
I’ve always wanted marriage and kids, I like the romance just sex seems overrated to me. I do enjoy hugs and cuddling but the problem is that cuddling often makes me anxious because he likes to start making out and groping which makes me worry it will lead to sex, which makes me pull away. I also don’t like being touched much in general, partly due to an abusive childhood, though I’m okay with affection in certain forms from my husband.
We’ve tried penetration a few times in our four-year relationship, but only briefly. I’m fine doing things for him to make him feel happy. But I struggle when he wants to touch me, and I feel guilty because I know he wants me to want sex too not just do it for his sake. He tells me I’m perfect except for this one big issue, and I really want our relationship to work because I love him so much.
We’ve thought about scheduling sex to reduce the pressure, but I’m still unsure how to balance his needs with mine. And also how to help my husband not feel like it’s a “him problem” when I’ve never felt the wanting for anyone in a sexual way? Has anyone else navigated a similar situation? How do you make a relationship work when one partner might be ace and the other isn’t?
https://redd.it/1phk0fq
@asexualityonreddit
Hi everyone, I’m looking for some advice and perspective. I’m 22F, married, and trying to figure out if I might be asexual.
I grew up in a Christian household where sex before marriage wasn’t allowed, so for a long time I thought my avoidance of sex was just because of that upbringing. But even now, with my husband, I don’t really feel sexual desire. I find him attractive and we’re truly best friends, we love spending time together, have the same friend group and shared hobbies but I’ve never had that “urge” or “hunger” for sex that my friends or my husband describe.
I’ve always wanted marriage and kids, I like the romance just sex seems overrated to me. I do enjoy hugs and cuddling but the problem is that cuddling often makes me anxious because he likes to start making out and groping which makes me worry it will lead to sex, which makes me pull away. I also don’t like being touched much in general, partly due to an abusive childhood, though I’m okay with affection in certain forms from my husband.
We’ve tried penetration a few times in our four-year relationship, but only briefly. I’m fine doing things for him to make him feel happy. But I struggle when he wants to touch me, and I feel guilty because I know he wants me to want sex too not just do it for his sake. He tells me I’m perfect except for this one big issue, and I really want our relationship to work because I love him so much.
We’ve thought about scheduling sex to reduce the pressure, but I’m still unsure how to balance his needs with mine. And also how to help my husband not feel like it’s a “him problem” when I’ve never felt the wanting for anyone in a sexual way? Has anyone else navigated a similar situation? How do you make a relationship work when one partner might be ace and the other isn’t?
https://redd.it/1phk0fq
@asexualityonreddit
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From the Asexual community on Reddit
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r/LGBTQIAP2S is the inclusive subreddit for LGBTQIAP2S+ people
https://redd.it/1pho66m
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1pho66m
@asexualityonreddit
Imagine how much this would've messed me up if I had been ace. :/
https://redd.it/1phnaj6
@asexualityonreddit
https://redd.it/1phnaj6
@asexualityonreddit