Can't help but feel guilty that I'm asexual
This is my first time using reddit I have no idea how to add other tags if I'm able to. But I really need advice about this.
My partner and I keep having fights about the fact I'm asexual. I always had horrible experiences with the topic of y'know especially at a young age, I've also never really felt that kind of attraction but I do feel romantic attraction and I love her half to death. She believes that she's not enough because I do not view her in a certain manner. She says because I'm asexual makes her feel undesirable and that noone wants to have "personal" time with her. I really feel horrible about the fact I don't feel that kind of attraction because I make my girlfriend feel like she's not enough because I don't want her that way. We keep having arguments about this every week and it's making me feel guilty for the way I am. Ive tried to explain to her on why I'm the way I am but she just said she'd "heal me of it". I feel like something is wrong with me.
https://redd.it/1ph4u4e
@asexualityonreddit
This is my first time using reddit I have no idea how to add other tags if I'm able to. But I really need advice about this.
My partner and I keep having fights about the fact I'm asexual. I always had horrible experiences with the topic of y'know especially at a young age, I've also never really felt that kind of attraction but I do feel romantic attraction and I love her half to death. She believes that she's not enough because I do not view her in a certain manner. She says because I'm asexual makes her feel undesirable and that noone wants to have "personal" time with her. I really feel horrible about the fact I don't feel that kind of attraction because I make my girlfriend feel like she's not enough because I don't want her that way. We keep having arguments about this every week and it's making me feel guilty for the way I am. Ive tried to explain to her on why I'm the way I am but she just said she'd "heal me of it". I feel like something is wrong with me.
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Monogamous relationship between an asexual and someone who's not, can it work?
Hello,
My title is indeed a rhetorical question, of course it can work cause it depends on individuals but I'm curious and I want to hear stories about asexuals that've been able to build a healthy monogamous relationship with someone who's not asexual.
And if you can give advice I'll gladly take it.
https://redd.it/1phbp29
@asexualityonreddit
Hello,
My title is indeed a rhetorical question, of course it can work cause it depends on individuals but I'm curious and I want to hear stories about asexuals that've been able to build a healthy monogamous relationship with someone who's not asexual.
And if you can give advice I'll gladly take it.
https://redd.it/1phbp29
@asexualityonreddit
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How do you know?
Hi everyone, I’m looking for some advice and perspective. I’m 22F, married, and trying to figure out if I might be asexual.
I grew up in a Christian household where sex before marriage wasn’t allowed, so for a long time I thought my avoidance of sex was just because of that upbringing. But even now, with my husband, I don’t really feel sexual desire. I find him attractive and we’re truly best friends, we love spending time together, have the same friend group and shared hobbies but I’ve never had that “urge” or “hunger” for sex that my friends or my husband describe.
I’ve always wanted marriage and kids, I like the romance just sex seems overrated to me. I do enjoy hugs and cuddling but the problem is that cuddling often makes me anxious because he likes to start making out and groping which makes me worry it will lead to sex, which makes me pull away. I also don’t like being touched much in general, partly due to an abusive childhood, though I’m okay with affection in certain forms from my husband.
We’ve tried penetration a few times in our four-year relationship, but only briefly. I’m fine doing things for him to make him feel happy. But I struggle when he wants to touch me, and I feel guilty because I know he wants me to want sex too not just do it for his sake. He tells me I’m perfect except for this one big issue, and I really want our relationship to work because I love him so much.
We’ve thought about scheduling sex to reduce the pressure, but I’m still unsure how to balance his needs with mine. And also how to help my husband not feel like it’s a “him problem” when I’ve never felt the wanting for anyone in a sexual way? Has anyone else navigated a similar situation? How do you make a relationship work when one partner might be ace and the other isn’t?
https://redd.it/1phk0fq
@asexualityonreddit
Hi everyone, I’m looking for some advice and perspective. I’m 22F, married, and trying to figure out if I might be asexual.
I grew up in a Christian household where sex before marriage wasn’t allowed, so for a long time I thought my avoidance of sex was just because of that upbringing. But even now, with my husband, I don’t really feel sexual desire. I find him attractive and we’re truly best friends, we love spending time together, have the same friend group and shared hobbies but I’ve never had that “urge” or “hunger” for sex that my friends or my husband describe.
I’ve always wanted marriage and kids, I like the romance just sex seems overrated to me. I do enjoy hugs and cuddling but the problem is that cuddling often makes me anxious because he likes to start making out and groping which makes me worry it will lead to sex, which makes me pull away. I also don’t like being touched much in general, partly due to an abusive childhood, though I’m okay with affection in certain forms from my husband.
We’ve tried penetration a few times in our four-year relationship, but only briefly. I’m fine doing things for him to make him feel happy. But I struggle when he wants to touch me, and I feel guilty because I know he wants me to want sex too not just do it for his sake. He tells me I’m perfect except for this one big issue, and I really want our relationship to work because I love him so much.
We’ve thought about scheduling sex to reduce the pressure, but I’m still unsure how to balance his needs with mine. And also how to help my husband not feel like it’s a “him problem” when I’ve never felt the wanting for anyone in a sexual way? Has anyone else navigated a similar situation? How do you make a relationship work when one partner might be ace and the other isn’t?
https://redd.it/1phk0fq
@asexualityonreddit
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r/LGBTQIAP2S is the inclusive subreddit for LGBTQIAP2S+ people
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Imagine how much this would've messed me up if I had been ace. :/
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