I am proud to be an asexual.

Take my quote.



“I support, accept, allow, let be and am all for LGBTQIA+, other differences and the few not of LGBTQIA+ and other differences who also support, accept, allow, let be and are all for LGBTQIA+ and other differences. The rest are hateful, judgmental, bigots, all the phobias and should not be allowed a say, suggestion, decision and choice in anyone, anybody and anything. Who cares if there is LGBTQIA+ and other differences. LGBTQIA+ and other differences is actually quite harmless just merely and simply don’t look, seem and sound like it sometimes is all. LGBTQIA+ and other differences have always been just more knowing of it and more able be as time goes on just like with anyone, anybody and anything.”

https://redd.it/1p9ossh
@asexualityonreddit

Feeling like i am not radical enough for not wanting to have sex

You know, sexuality in left spaces is treated like empowered. The disire to have sex as a female presented person is seen as radical and rebellious, ESPECIALLY if it is sexual disire for a man and thats because lesbian sex doesn't have the same importance and capacity in people's minds. It doesn't really count, type of thing. So me, as an ace (probably demisexual)lesbian, i feel like i am the embodiment of innocence, like i am just a little girl who doesn't threaten the patriarchy at all so i shouldn't really belong with these leftist women my age. And its not that i am sexually active as a lesbian either. I generally would like to experience lesbian sex but i haven't found anyone that makes me want to experience it with them. I don't want to masturbate because i feel highly uncomfortable and i really can't feel aroused when i do it so yeah. And thats it. I feel like a silly girl who would be a really cute housewife in the 50s (it doesn't matter if i don't like men, men back then didn't care if their wife liked them or not) sometimes i really wish my asexuality was "cured" or that i could gaslight myself into liking random people.

https://redd.it/1p9rdjc
@asexualityonreddit

I Understand Now

I've read plenty about people putting romantic relationships over platonic ones but now I understand it.

I've been friends with my best (and only) friend for 12 years now (since I was 9) and she got a boyfriend over a year ago now and I've been supportive as he is a nice guy. It hasn't seemed like she put the relationships above ours and we spend a bit of time together (we work together) and we rarely go out any where nice. I thought it'd be nice if we booked a week of together and went to an aquarium (I've never been and she likes fish).

The other day (Thursday) I get a message from her boyfriend asking me why I didn't talk to him about it and he let me know what day we're going. I spoke to my friend and told her I wanted it to be us and didn't want to spend the day watching their pda and be the third wheel. She said to talk to him about it.

A few hours later he messages me saying that they're together so I will third wheel a lot and will try to keep pda to a minimum. He said he was planning to take her to the aquarium for their anniversary. He then sent a screenshot of her message to him saying to sort it out with me or she ain't going, with him captioning the phot saying "make your peace with it or she ain't going"

I never replied because I didn't really know what to say and I've been quiet at work and avoiding any big conversations with her.( this was friday)
Then today (Saturday) I've done the same and he's messaged again saying going without him so stop ignoring her.

I don't feel like going with both of them and I don't want to stop him from going (especially if he was already planning to take her), so just dont really know what. I wouldn't like it if they didn't go because I didn't want to and I get they are together, I just dont want to be third wheeling all the time. I want to spend time with my friend outside of work doing something fun, but instead I feel like im now being kicked to the curb on the activity I wanted to do (didn't know he was planning on going)
Now I feel like that their relationship is now above me completely, leaving me in the dust, all alone.

Sorry for rant just wanted to get it out my head. Thank for reading this far 🙏

https://redd.it/1p9rt7u
@asexualityonreddit

Ever get a physical pain from someone’s sexual advances?

Ever feel a surge of physical pain from the very idea of someone wanting to have sex with you? I have found that the very few times a woman has made advances on me, I get a weird pain in my foot. It’s a little like that sympathetic pain I get when I see a video where someone gets injured. I’m not sex repulsed per se. I’m fine seeing sex in movies or occasionally (occasional as in years) having sex with someone I have an emotional connection to. But if someone I don’t have a connection to makes their sexual interest known BOOM that pain. Sometimes that person I would have that connection as well which is why, though I like romantic love, I can’t find a partner that is fine with me very rarely wanting to engage in sexual relations.

I’m male in my 40’s obese with some neuropathy so maybe those are factors that may be part of this sort of nerve pain. But I wondered if anyone had something similar.

https://redd.it/1p9s5om
@asexualityonreddit

Books with asexual characters

I’m looking for books with asexual characters. I usually prefer fiction but I’m open to anything. I want to read about characters I can relate to. I’m hoping for some recommendations! Please drop some of your favorites below!

https://redd.it/1p9qtms
@asexualityonreddit

Told that I am not queer by the only person I have eve come out to

Typo: *ever

A few months ago I came out to this person who I thought would be okay with it because they are queer. I have only mentioned being ace a couple times because I'm not even very comfortable saying it outloud (and they know that) but the few times I did, they acted like I was annoying for even mentioning it.

After it happened again today, I asked them if they are not okay with me talking about it and if i should just never mention it. They said that I "want to be oppressed and for them to say poor you its SO hard being asexual" and that I'm not queer. I have never even referred to myself as queer to this person but I am queer?? I said that thats wrong and that it's literally in the acronym but I never even called myself queer in case they wouldn't like that. They said that because they're bisexual they're actually queer and that I'm not queer and it doesn't matter that I'm ace, and they don't care or want to understand me (i think they're referring to a show that i mentioned they might like and that it has ace rep in it? I really never tried to get them to be empathetic to me or anything).

I guess now that I am thinking about it, the only times they had mentioned me being ace were kind of negative, like they mentioned it once to use the fact that I don't want to date ppl against me. The the other time they acted confused when I mentioned having kids in the future (they've known for years that the thing i care abt the most is being a mother one day) and they started asking well how are you gonna do that, i thought you didn't want to have sex, what are you gonna have someone cum in a turkey baster and use that?? (they know how much i hate talking like that) and i had to tell them not to say stuff like that because i hate it and then i left.

i guess I ignored that because i wanted to think that I had one person irl who knew that im aspec and accepted me. anyways i am really upset so i might not have made any sense when typing this stuff, sorry.


https://redd.it/1p9wbzr
@asexualityonreddit

What I love about being Asexual


🖤🩶🤍💜🖤🩶🤍💜🖤🩶🤍💜
I love not going through relationships drama
I love how I’m attracted to someone based off their personality and characteristics
I love that I’m different , not like the rest
I love that I can focus on my personal passions
I love that I seek deeper connections with people in my life
I Love that the universal standard of life doesn’t weigh on me
I love that I have the time and energy for self care
I love that I can be by myself/ comfortable in my own company

https://redd.it/1p9xhd8
@asexualityonreddit

Unsure if I’m ace or just struggling — need outside perspective

I’ve been having a confusing time with my feelings around sex and intimacy, and I’m not sure if this is an asexuality thing, a comfort/safety thing, or something else entirely. I’d really appreciate outside thoughts.

I’ve been seeing someone casually who’s autistic. We’re not in a relationship (he’s been clear he doesn’t want that), but we’re emotionally close enough that I felt comfortable being honest with him. Lately, as winter hits and my seasonal depression shows up, I’ve been needing more emotional closeness and communication than what we normally have.

I finally opened up to him and explained that sometimes I struggle with sex — I don’t want it, or I feel disconnected from it, but then in the moment I second-guess myself (change my mind and have it anyways). I told him that for now I just want support and to feel safe while I re-learn how to want and enjoy sex again. I also said I’d be happy with just touching ourselves together instead of full sex, and he was very accepting and supportive.

But the bigger issue is: I’m confused about my own sexuality.

I don’t know if I’m actually asexual, or if I’m just having trouble because of past experiences, lack of emotional safety, or general stress. I DO want closeness, touch, connection, affection — but sex itself feels like something I have to” warm up to” mentally, even if I care about the person.
Is this what being ace feels like? Or could this just be trauma, anxiety, or the need for more emotional intimacy before sex feels good?

I’d love any perspectives, especially from people who are asexual or have experienced something similar.


https://redd.it/1p9tqlb
@asexualityonreddit

Just like a mental double check

So for the last 2-3 years I've identified as a pansexual demiromantic demisexual as this is how my brain works:

Sex with someone I don't know is a no go it makes me feel wrong and I can't see myself doing that with a random person

Anyone I've ever wanted to have sex with I've known pretty well and the one exception I knew him for months prior

I don't like people and am generally dense when it comes to people flirting with me and no one I've ever been romanticly interested in I've known for at a bare minimum 2 months

Part of the reason I think of this is because when I did my minor amount of research everything lead back to these terms. Of course I never consulted another person and just did what felt right as that's what I've always done. Nothing has given me a reason to change my mind rather it has reinforced it the more people I date so I guess it's more just me making sure I'm using the right terms. On the pansexual part idc what you identify as if I like you I like you. Girls, guys, trans, cis, non binary, gender fluid, I've literally dated all that I just listed. I know it probably doesn't matter in this sense but people are nosey and idc

https://redd.it/1pa302e
@asexualityonreddit

Obviously friendships can work without romance, but do you think romance can work without friendship?

..

https://redd.it/1pa58dy
@asexualityonreddit

Saying that you've turned asexual is really problematic.

You cannot become a sexuality because it's not a choice, what can happen is that you've had a realization of what your sexuality is because you've done the self discovery and you now know who you are. I don't think people realize how dangerous saying that you've 'turned ace' is because with that logic you can turn yourself straight and this can be applied to gays, lesbian and trans people ect. This is also the same logic that's used in conversation therapy. It is that deep and it's not something that's okay to say. I understand that some people after going on hrt they might discover that they identify with a different kind of sexuality and that's okay but hormones can't change yourself sexuality. Years ago they used hormones and medications fix queer people . As for victims of abuse I know that there is another term for not wanting engage in sex because of tramua and using asexuality as a label just to not explain yourself to random people and that's completely fine.



https://redd.it/1pa8hrw
@asexualityonreddit

Is anyone else here like me—someone who loves romance but isn’t sure if romantic relationships are actually for them? What can i do to process this?

...

https://redd.it/1pac0k8
@asexualityonreddit

Question?

What age did you find out about your asexuality

https://redd.it/1pac6dr
@asexualityonreddit

Jughead, the one guy in classic Archie who *doesn't* eat the eyecandy 😏

https://redd.it/1paduky
@asexualityonreddit

I’ve accepted that my dating life is just doomed

Maybe I’m being dramatic but it sure feels like its true, because I‘m about to enter my 30’s soon and if I ever think about dating again in the future I feel like its just going to be a revolving door of rejections not just cause I’m asexual but cause I’m still a VIRGIN and my dating history is pretty limited and different compared to others. I never had a sexual relationship so I have no experience and not feeling sexual attraction is already just enough to turn off people. Nobody wants to date a female virgin in her 30’s who has only had a “childish“ relationship history.

I honestly don’t care if I remain alone forever cause I been single for a few years now and I don’t miss being with someone. I love having my own freedom and not having someone whine at me over things that I can’t change about myself. Sometimes though I feel like it would be nice to have someone but I feel like its just not gonna happen and that actual true love is not actually real these days since half the people I know in relationships are only in it for financial support and to have a place to stay.

https://redd.it/1paf1oa
@asexualityonreddit