Never the first always the last
Have you ever thought that you don't have someone who really cares for you ?
These days I've been thinking about this... Everyone has their special someone, my friends are nice and all but am not as important to them as they are for me, my family is all about my brother ( who was doing therapy since 4 years old) while I was always scared of the world that nobody took the time to teach me how it worked, I was bullied, harassed, ridiculed and nobody knew, nobody tried to understand how tired I was. Now I'm 21 almost 22 and still feel like a child, lost in the adult-act I pull every day, it is so exhausting and in the end I feel like if I don't reach to them, if I don't force my presence in their lives I'll be easily forgotten and every time I tell them how I feel they always say I'm trying to find culprits to a problem that I created, that I am being dramatic and everything is just in my head. I'm not looking for solutions, it's just a rant, is life always that tiring for everyone? (My second therapist said I probably have anxiety and depression )
https://redd.it/1p7pksl
@asexualityonreddit
Have you ever thought that you don't have someone who really cares for you ?
These days I've been thinking about this... Everyone has their special someone, my friends are nice and all but am not as important to them as they are for me, my family is all about my brother ( who was doing therapy since 4 years old) while I was always scared of the world that nobody took the time to teach me how it worked, I was bullied, harassed, ridiculed and nobody knew, nobody tried to understand how tired I was. Now I'm 21 almost 22 and still feel like a child, lost in the adult-act I pull every day, it is so exhausting and in the end I feel like if I don't reach to them, if I don't force my presence in their lives I'll be easily forgotten and every time I tell them how I feel they always say I'm trying to find culprits to a problem that I created, that I am being dramatic and everything is just in my head. I'm not looking for solutions, it's just a rant, is life always that tiring for everyone? (My second therapist said I probably have anxiety and depression )
https://redd.it/1p7pksl
@asexualityonreddit
Reddit
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allo guy willing to learn more about my aceness
This will be a bit of a short story but i recently downloaded Hinge for fun and made a whole profile and everything. i put the asexual tag on there (of course) and since most people completely ignore that and just go straight for beauty, i thought no one would take me seriously. all of a sudden, here comes this guy who is pretty decent, relates to a lot of the things i like, and is a pretty much a sweetheart all around.
after two days of talking he asks about me being asexual and i immediately think “well, this is the end” because of how unserious people are when it comes to asexuality. i end up explaining it to him and even though he didn’t have the best understanding of it, he asked me if i could teach him about it, which 1000% shocked me. i was completely expecting rejection and coping with that but instead, i got someone who is willing to learn more about who i am and my identity, which is rare.
i tell this story to say that me immediately thinking about rejection when he asked what being asexual means is… sad? like i shouldn’t have to prepare for rejection because of my identity but because of the how the asexual community is treated, i just automatically assumed it wouldn’t work between me and an allo guy.
i’m extremely happy he’s interested in learning and curious to see how this will turn our for me! thanks for coming to my ACE talk!
https://redd.it/1p7tmkd
@asexualityonreddit
This will be a bit of a short story but i recently downloaded Hinge for fun and made a whole profile and everything. i put the asexual tag on there (of course) and since most people completely ignore that and just go straight for beauty, i thought no one would take me seriously. all of a sudden, here comes this guy who is pretty decent, relates to a lot of the things i like, and is a pretty much a sweetheart all around.
after two days of talking he asks about me being asexual and i immediately think “well, this is the end” because of how unserious people are when it comes to asexuality. i end up explaining it to him and even though he didn’t have the best understanding of it, he asked me if i could teach him about it, which 1000% shocked me. i was completely expecting rejection and coping with that but instead, i got someone who is willing to learn more about who i am and my identity, which is rare.
i tell this story to say that me immediately thinking about rejection when he asked what being asexual means is… sad? like i shouldn’t have to prepare for rejection because of my identity but because of the how the asexual community is treated, i just automatically assumed it wouldn’t work between me and an allo guy.
i’m extremely happy he’s interested in learning and curious to see how this will turn our for me! thanks for coming to my ACE talk!
https://redd.it/1p7tmkd
@asexualityonreddit
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Do you other aces experience arousal?
So I've known I was graysexual for a while. I have EXTREMELY low libido, but it's still there, so I was wondering; do any of you guys experience physical arousal just spontaneously? or even at all? I've been curious about this but i wanted to see other people's experiences, because I'm contemplating whether i really am graysexual or if i'm fully ace.
https://redd.it/1p7u990
@asexualityonreddit
So I've known I was graysexual for a while. I have EXTREMELY low libido, but it's still there, so I was wondering; do any of you guys experience physical arousal just spontaneously? or even at all? I've been curious about this but i wanted to see other people's experiences, because I'm contemplating whether i really am graysexual or if i'm fully ace.
https://redd.it/1p7u990
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My girlfriend broke up with me because she didn't want to accept me for who I am.
Context, I'm 17 and my girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) is 22. I know we have an age difference.
She tried to kiss me and I didn't agree because kisses seem disgusting to me (I don't know if it's because of my asexuality or because I'm disgusted), but she did things like holding hands, hugging and stuff like that.
And every time he tried to kiss me I got nervous and the mere idea of putting his tongue in each other disgusted me more and more, until he asked me what was wrong. That's when I told him that I was asexual and that those things made me crazy.
"I can't with you," he told me when I finished.
But well... I can't do anything anymore and I'm not one of those who begs for a second chance, but I'm afraid of being alone for the rest of my life. 😔
https://redd.it/1p7rpmq
@asexualityonreddit
Context, I'm 17 and my girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) is 22. I know we have an age difference.
She tried to kiss me and I didn't agree because kisses seem disgusting to me (I don't know if it's because of my asexuality or because I'm disgusted), but she did things like holding hands, hugging and stuff like that.
And every time he tried to kiss me I got nervous and the mere idea of putting his tongue in each other disgusted me more and more, until he asked me what was wrong. That's when I told him that I was asexual and that those things made me crazy.
"I can't with you," he told me when I finished.
But well... I can't do anything anymore and I'm not one of those who begs for a second chance, but I'm afraid of being alone for the rest of my life. 😔
https://redd.it/1p7rpmq
@asexualityonreddit
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Aroace men
So, I'm an aroace woman: aroace in practice, straight in theory. It means I feel more "attracted" to men, emotionally and other ways that don't include romantically or sexually.
The problem is that aroace men are too rare or they don't even know they're aroace.
I want to meet an aroace guy who I can share life with, and I don't mean it as a commited partner or not, but someone I can be sure that won't block me while I'm asleep and that I can finally find my "soulmate", a friend I can keep forever that won't leave me behind once they find a "better" person.
The question: where are aroace men? Do they exist? Are there even men that are sexually repulsed and romantically averse?
https://redd.it/1p7ukkh
@asexualityonreddit
So, I'm an aroace woman: aroace in practice, straight in theory. It means I feel more "attracted" to men, emotionally and other ways that don't include romantically or sexually.
The problem is that aroace men are too rare or they don't even know they're aroace.
I want to meet an aroace guy who I can share life with, and I don't mean it as a commited partner or not, but someone I can be sure that won't block me while I'm asleep and that I can finally find my "soulmate", a friend I can keep forever that won't leave me behind once they find a "better" person.
The question: where are aroace men? Do they exist? Are there even men that are sexually repulsed and romantically averse?
https://redd.it/1p7ukkh
@asexualityonreddit
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The Ace Couple does an excellent job responding to Scott Galloway's demonizing of asexual people. The episode is worth a listen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHmnA9Dmqd8&lc=UgyA4jeZaIp7jgOJPW14AaABAg
https://redd.it/1p7w0qn
@asexualityonreddit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHmnA9Dmqd8&lc=UgyA4jeZaIp7jgOJPW14AaABAg
https://redd.it/1p7w0qn
@asexualityonreddit
YouTube
Scott Galloway needs to keep the word Asexual out of his mouth
The man who once said that Asexual men are the most dangerous people in the world and claimed that college protests are a result of students not having enough sex is on a press tour, hitting all of the major news outlets and podcasts, calling Asexual males…
Asexuality
I recently discovered that I'm asexual, I'm in panick what should I do?
https://redd.it/1p82qrn
@asexualityonreddit
I recently discovered that I'm asexual, I'm in panick what should I do?
https://redd.it/1p82qrn
@asexualityonreddit
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Asexuality
I recently discovered that I'm asexual, I'm in panick what should I do?
https://redd.it/1p82p8f
@asexualityonreddit
I recently discovered that I'm asexual, I'm in panick what should I do?
https://redd.it/1p82p8f
@asexualityonreddit
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UPDATE: How would you feel about an Allo, seeking out asexual partners?
Soooo... I think I'm just asexual lol.
Some of you may remember the post I made a few weeks ago. About being allo (or at least so I thought), but not wanting sex for personal reasons. I didn't word things very well (my bad), and some people assumed the worst (understandable). But after reading the responses and having some time to think, I've realised that I'm actually just asexual lol.
So, I'm trans, and whenever my T dose changes, so does my sexuality. Pre-T I was 100% sex-repulsed asexual, then I started T which gave me a libido and made me straight. Then the dose was increased and suddenly I was gay, and then again and I was bi. But for the most recent (and final) dose adjustment, like before, I could feel something changing around the right time, I felt something different. But this time, I didn't know what had changed, I didn't notice anything different.
But after reading all the comments on my last post, I've realised that I can't actually remember the last time I experienced sexual attraction, not since the last increase. Thinking about sex in a hypothetical way is still fine, but unlike before, when it comes to an actual person with a real identity, that becomes very distressing.
I don't think I noticed the shift, because nothing actually functionally changed for me. My fantasies just shifted from involving real people, to the vague concept of it. And I never actually had to confront the fact that I am no longer comfortable with the idea of having sex because I was never sexually active anyway.
So yeah lol, turns out I'm just just asexual again, or more specifically aegosexual now.
https://redd.it/1p86wny
@asexualityonreddit
Soooo... I think I'm just asexual lol.
Some of you may remember the post I made a few weeks ago. About being allo (or at least so I thought), but not wanting sex for personal reasons. I didn't word things very well (my bad), and some people assumed the worst (understandable). But after reading the responses and having some time to think, I've realised that I'm actually just asexual lol.
So, I'm trans, and whenever my T dose changes, so does my sexuality. Pre-T I was 100% sex-repulsed asexual, then I started T which gave me a libido and made me straight. Then the dose was increased and suddenly I was gay, and then again and I was bi. But for the most recent (and final) dose adjustment, like before, I could feel something changing around the right time, I felt something different. But this time, I didn't know what had changed, I didn't notice anything different.
But after reading all the comments on my last post, I've realised that I can't actually remember the last time I experienced sexual attraction, not since the last increase. Thinking about sex in a hypothetical way is still fine, but unlike before, when it comes to an actual person with a real identity, that becomes very distressing.
I don't think I noticed the shift, because nothing actually functionally changed for me. My fantasies just shifted from involving real people, to the vague concept of it. And I never actually had to confront the fact that I am no longer comfortable with the idea of having sex because I was never sexually active anyway.
So yeah lol, turns out I'm just just asexual again, or more specifically aegosexual now.
https://redd.it/1p86wny
@asexualityonreddit
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A part of me wishes that I won’t have to explain myself
I’m sex-favourable and I sort of wish I didn’t have to anticipate saying the following “but I can have sex!” that inevitably comes after it.
Like for example on Hinge, my sexuality is set to asexual, and I use one of the prompts to iterate the “well actually, we can still do it, yes!” as a quick clarification.
It feels frustrating. It definitely plays a role in why I’ve never really brought up my sexuality directly with someone. If my closer relationships proceed to ask good faith questions to get to know me more, I don’t think I would mind it, but otherwise I hate that the burden of education could fall on me.
I also anticipate that discussing my favourability for sex will feel incredibly personal and again, why do I need to adjust my boundaries in the name of education?
And this definitely lowkey applies if you’re sex-repulsed (not that I can speak for sex-repulsed aces, I can only imagine) but the constant invalidation and having to explain yourself must be fucking exhausting.
I’m not here to shit on labels or say that educating people about asexuality and its nuances is ultimately bad but sometimes I feel like it would be a lot easier I simply didn’t have to explain myself because people don’t know any better.
Like I said, I don’t often discuss my sexuality with people I know so I don’t know if this is an experience I’m merely projecting for myself, but I want to know other people’s thoughts?
https://redd.it/1p89uob
@asexualityonreddit
I’m sex-favourable and I sort of wish I didn’t have to anticipate saying the following “but I can have sex!” that inevitably comes after it.
Like for example on Hinge, my sexuality is set to asexual, and I use one of the prompts to iterate the “well actually, we can still do it, yes!” as a quick clarification.
It feels frustrating. It definitely plays a role in why I’ve never really brought up my sexuality directly with someone. If my closer relationships proceed to ask good faith questions to get to know me more, I don’t think I would mind it, but otherwise I hate that the burden of education could fall on me.
I also anticipate that discussing my favourability for sex will feel incredibly personal and again, why do I need to adjust my boundaries in the name of education?
And this definitely lowkey applies if you’re sex-repulsed (not that I can speak for sex-repulsed aces, I can only imagine) but the constant invalidation and having to explain yourself must be fucking exhausting.
I’m not here to shit on labels or say that educating people about asexuality and its nuances is ultimately bad but sometimes I feel like it would be a lot easier I simply didn’t have to explain myself because people don’t know any better.
Like I said, I don’t often discuss my sexuality with people I know so I don’t know if this is an experience I’m merely projecting for myself, but I want to know other people’s thoughts?
https://redd.it/1p89uob
@asexualityonreddit