Came out to my best friend

We were sitting on a bus together and I decided to muster up the courage to tell her. Her first reaction? "Oh, that makes sense."

LOL? She looked it up to make sure she actually knew what i meant, nodded her head, and said "yea, that sounds just like you."

After this, I slowly started telling others and apparently its kinda obvious from my personality that Im in no way interested in dating or romance. It made me a little happy :)

https://redd.it/1p3xdc2
@asexualityonreddit

orgasm as an asexual

can someone explain (preferably in detail) what exactly an orgasm feels like? i am an asexual woman in her 20s who has only recently started to masturbate (like once every two weeks) but i have no idea if i have ever had one?? i feel like i did come to that point but it was really underwhelming considering the fact that allos define it as something life changing lmfao. i do like the buildup but the orgasm (?) lasts only a couple of seconds and after it i just feel confused.

https://redd.it/1p3zci4
@asexualityonreddit

Leaving This Sub


I can't tolerate seeing all the posts about sex. Sometimes, they can be very graphic too. Or, very explicit images posted, with no spoilers.
Even with spoilers, it sucks.

I also am tired of the constant, "Can ace and non ace people be in a relationship?"

Or, "Help, my Ace partner won't have sex!"

"My non-ace partner wants me to have sex"

What did you think would happen, in that situation? Seriously?

I just can't keep seeing this on my feed. I have to leave this sub.

If there is a more logical, SFW, sex-repulsed-aces-only sub on here, please let me know. I would love to join!

Goodbye, and take care, everyone. ✌️

https://redd.it/1p433eh
@asexualityonreddit

Am I asexual?

The long and short of it - I’m a 28 year old dude. Previously I’ve had no issue being attracted to women. Been with numerous, had a couple “serious” relationships. However, over the past year my drive has dropped to absolutely 0. I don’t understand why. I’m not attracted to anyone - women, men, anyone in between. It’s been a year since I last had sex and honestly I wouldn’t be upset if it continued this way for the rest of my life. I’m having a really hard time understanding what’s changed and why. Has anyone else had a similar experience? I’d love to chat.

https://redd.it/1p48f9x
@asexualityonreddit

Sexism towards Aces, let's discuss; Ace men are impotent incels and women "just haven't found the right guy yet"/"need a dick" to fix them, or are sad cat ladies

I was typing up a post about being told how I "just hadn't met the right guy yet" but after thinking about it, if I were a man having this convo, he would have phrased it differently, and thought VERY differently of a man who admits to never wanting to have sex.

I'm often treated like a lesbian by a bigot, in that I just need the right guy, or like some sad sack who "gave up on love" and thinks they'll never get a boyfriend because they think they are fat and ugly.

While men must be scared shitless to admit they are Ace. It's called "Toxic masculinity" for a reason.

Same with virginity or celibacy.
For women it's a virtue or a tragic waste.
For men it's because they aren't "real men."

It's soo sad, there's different cons to being ace depending on gender, and it's still sad.

Out of the last 4 times I explained being an Ace to people, only once did someone overhearing popup and provide backup, and that was a lucky treat. Not once did the other person not question me several times. While if I were a man, some guy overhearing would have likely cracked a joke.

I already know what many fem-presently and woman aces go through, but I'd like to learn more about the male perspective on this topic.

How do you explain it? What are the common responses?
Do you even try to explain? or do you just fake it and hide yourself irl?




https://redd.it/1p45mqs
@asexualityonreddit

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!
https://redd.it/1p48838
@asexualityonreddit

Got my ace ring :]
https://redd.it/1p4byge
@asexualityonreddit

My Mom Accepted Me After Many Years

I was at a comedy club with my mom last night and we were talking and getting drinks before the show. My mom is pretty much my only family and we’re incredibly close since my dad was hardly in the picture, but due to her lifestyle (she loves dating and the culture behind it) she never understood that I was asexual (she didn’t even believe it was a thing until a couple years ago).

And tonight we were talking about the raunchy jokes we heard last time we were there and I mentioned how I don’t want a relationship, and I expected her to say her usual “you’ll come around”

But instead she said “You just don’t see a real reason”

and she mentioned that I was like the white dragon from Dragon Riders of Pern. And how in that series when the riders enter a relationship, the dragons do too.

But this one dragon, Ruth, didn’t do that and when questioned he said “why would I want to?” And became friends with the other dragon instead.

And she looked me in the eyes after explaining that and was like “that’s you, isn’t it? You don’t need any of that, you don’t feel that towards other people and that’s ok”

And I started crying because she finally understood.

I’m going to start reading Dragons of Pern now

https://redd.it/1p4ce4v
@asexualityonreddit

I know I'm asexual but like... trees are hot and sexy 🌳
https://redd.it/1p4dg86
@asexualityonreddit

Does any other guy take pride in not being attracted to anyone? Especially women?


My straight guy friends and many guys seem to spend a lot of their money, and try to impress women.

It’s also because women seem to be put on a pedestal more. I often get told by male relatives and other guys how I should “learn to talk to women” and criticize me on certain behaviors and hobbies because it’s not considered attractive to women.
I’m into anime and video games and people tell me women will find it cringe and unattractive.

Also a lot of women seem to just… have big egos. I’ve tried being nice to women and a lot of them thought I was flirting with them or something. I’ve had women bring up boyfriends randomly in a conversation or something.

https://redd.it/1p4gnla
@asexualityonreddit

Address me
https://redd.it/1p4k5lf
@asexualityonreddit

What face does people do while having sex? do they just-
https://redd.it/1p4m0z7
@asexualityonreddit

Being asexual doesn’t mean hating sexual people

I’ve seen a lot of posts here criticizing sexual people for liking sex and acting like they’re weird, which isn’t fair. They enjoy sex, and we don’t because we either don’t enjoy it or find it uncomfortable—or even disgusting

https://redd.it/1p4q7wa
@asexualityonreddit

A basic primer on the four main types of attraction.

I recently replied to a post on r/NoStupidQuestions about what “hot” means, from someone who seemed to be grappling with whether or not they were ace. It turned into a bit of an essay, and some people in the replies told me I should post it here.

So I’ve copied the text, removed a few bits that were specific to the discussion at hand, and here it is. (Disclaimer: this is just my understanding. Asexuality is obviously an incredibly broad spectrum, so if there are things I’m missing, I’d love to be educated and informed.)

As an asexual person myself, I’ve had a lot of practice explaining these to people, so I’ll give it my best shot here. These are the four main types of attraction.

1)Aesthetic attraction. “I like looking at you”. This doesn’t just apply to people. You can feel aesthetic attraction to a painting, a well-designed house, a sunset, a cake, anything. Aesthetic attraction is when looking at something (or someone) gives you a nice, pleasant feeling, and you want to look at it (or them) more.

2)Romantic attraction. “I want to be personally intimate with you.” You want to make them happy, share parts of your life with them, tell them about your day and ask them about theirs, learn their favourite song or flower or ice cream flavour so you can get them meaningful gifts, know their deep secrets and share yours with them. Romantic attraction is when you want to be emotionally close to someone in a way that goes beyond friendship.

3)Sensual attraction. “I want to be physically intimate with you.” This doesn’t cover sex - we’ll get to that - but it does cover things like hand-holding, kissing, cuddling, having your arm around someone (or vice versa), sharing a bed, basically any physical closeness or affection that doesn’t involve genitals. Sensual attraction is when you want to feel someone’s body on yours, and express your affection for them in a physical way.

Sensual attraction is the murkiest of the four, and the one most often left out, as some see it as just an intersection of romantic and sexual attraction. It’s not though. It’s its own thing.

4)Sexual attraction. “I’d like to engage in erotic acts with you”. (This one is probably the hardest for me to define, as it’s the one I do not and have never felt, but I’ll try.) This goes beyond arousal, which is a mechanical physical response that has very little to do with your feelings of attraction, causatively speaking. It’s the lustful urge of wanting to see someone naked, or wanting to feel their genitals, or wanting them to feel yours. I’m told it can manifest as a sort of itch, or a feeling like hunger. Sexual attraction is the physical desire for something that goes beyond sensuality.

Think about these four types of attraction. How many have you felt? Do you feel some for certain people, and others for other people?

If you see someone in the street and think “wow, they’re attractive”, what does that mean you want?

• To look at them?
• To get to know them on a deep, personal level? - To kiss them and have their body close to yours?
• To have sex with them?
• Or some combination of the above?

Asexuality is a wide spectrum. It may be worth looking up more specific labels, but be warned, there are a lot of them, it’s easy to get confused.

If you’ve never felt 4, you might well be asexual. This doesn’t mean you’re repulsed by sex, or have never had it - those are categories of asexuality, but they’re not part of the core definition.

If you’ve felt 4, but only after knowing someone for a long time and forming a close emotional bond, you might well be demisexual.

If you’ve never felt 2, you might well be aromantic. Honestly, I’m not aromantic, so I have no idea what that’s like, but there are plenty of communities and creators who could inform you if that’s something that rings true for you.

This is the question that helped me figure out that I was asexual: say you’re with a significant other, and you start feeling physically aroused. What do you do? My answer was “hide it, it’s embarrassing and I

don’t want her thinking I’m some rabid horndog who only has sex on the brain.”

According to the friend who asked me, that’s a very unusual response, and most people would want to share that feeling with their partner, and maybe see if the partner felt the same way. I don’t know if there’s any real basis to that, but it really helped me clarify how I felt about sex and sexuality, and why I felt that way.

Think about your answer to that, and the other questions I’ve asked, in relation to the four types of attraction. Hopefully that can shed some light, and help you figure out who you are and who you want to be. Whatever you settle on, you’ll always have plenty of support, I guarantee that. Much love.

https://redd.it/1p4posc
@asexualityonreddit

Copy that
https://redd.it/1p4rwxz
@asexualityonreddit

Pridesaur Aro-opter-Ace art done by me, god I love puns...if anyone else has some other cool suggestions for Aroace dinos please feel free to let me know :D

https://redd.it/1p4uful
@asexualityonreddit