I (f20) am in college and think I’m on the asexual spectrum. It’s been hard for me in friendship circles.
Usually don’t post like this but wanted to get some more asexuals opinions on this…
So let me just start by saying that all throughout highschool I never was interested in guys at all. I had some fake crushes on some guys I thought were cute in the face, but when I tried to think of them sexually I got repulsed. Now I’ve been in college for two years, I’ve had one boyfriend (now ex) and he’s the only person I’ve ever I guess felt “sexually” attracted to in my life. Like it didn’t feel like a total violation to think of him in that way. We never did have sex though so I’m not 100%
Anyways, the thought of hookup culture and kissing randos at bars disgusts me. Everytime I’m with my girlfriends and they tell me about experiences like this or stuff I secretly get super uncomfortable but want to be supportive cuz I’m all for girls going what they want. The idea of this is just totally disgusting to me because I generally find the idea sex and other hookup actions gross. Being in college feeling this way I feel like a prude but I swear it’s not a moral thing it’s a physical reaction.
I think the best way to describe me would be demisexual. And I hate the people who are like “aren’t we all?” NO. I don’t feel sexual attraction to hot men on the street or celebrities. I can tell when someone is physically attractive but it’s never sexual.
Also I know people might ask. No I do not like women. I know it sounds like I might but I promise you I am also repulsed by them sexually in the same way and also because I am straight lol.
https://redd.it/1p02et5
@asexualityonreddit
Usually don’t post like this but wanted to get some more asexuals opinions on this…
So let me just start by saying that all throughout highschool I never was interested in guys at all. I had some fake crushes on some guys I thought were cute in the face, but when I tried to think of them sexually I got repulsed. Now I’ve been in college for two years, I’ve had one boyfriend (now ex) and he’s the only person I’ve ever I guess felt “sexually” attracted to in my life. Like it didn’t feel like a total violation to think of him in that way. We never did have sex though so I’m not 100%
Anyways, the thought of hookup culture and kissing randos at bars disgusts me. Everytime I’m with my girlfriends and they tell me about experiences like this or stuff I secretly get super uncomfortable but want to be supportive cuz I’m all for girls going what they want. The idea of this is just totally disgusting to me because I generally find the idea sex and other hookup actions gross. Being in college feeling this way I feel like a prude but I swear it’s not a moral thing it’s a physical reaction.
I think the best way to describe me would be demisexual. And I hate the people who are like “aren’t we all?” NO. I don’t feel sexual attraction to hot men on the street or celebrities. I can tell when someone is physically attractive but it’s never sexual.
Also I know people might ask. No I do not like women. I know it sounds like I might but I promise you I am also repulsed by them sexually in the same way and also because I am straight lol.
https://redd.it/1p02et5
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I Don't Know What I Am
I (19F) have never been in a relationship, despite being asked out a few times, simply because I'm not interested in a relationship. Specifically, I'm absolutely not interested in a relationship that would be considered average and would include sex in any shape or form.
Alone the thought to be doing this with another human makes me want to crawl out of my skin, because I find it uncomfortable and icky to even think about.
I've also never really had a crush when I was younger. When I was asked, I always had to come up with someone just to be able to say I'm crushing on someone, to the point that I gaslighted myself so deeply that I believed myself for a while, before I caught myself again.
However, I have had feelings for my previous best friend (whom I had grown really close with, and was the first friend I had that I was sometimes cuddling with when we hung out, or who would kiss my forehead when I was sad and she would comfort me) that most people would probably title as romantic (?).
Maybe that's what it is, simply without the s*xual components (or kisses on the mouth, I find this very uncomfortable to imagine), or maybe not. I honestly don't know.
So, am I actually asexual? Or maybe not, after all?
I'm aware it is an umbrella term for many other kinds of terms, but honestly, all these possible labels confuse me so much. I would really appreciate at least one answer, as I'm starting to wonder if something is wrong with me.
https://redd.it/1p08myo
@asexualityonreddit
I (19F) have never been in a relationship, despite being asked out a few times, simply because I'm not interested in a relationship. Specifically, I'm absolutely not interested in a relationship that would be considered average and would include sex in any shape or form.
Alone the thought to be doing this with another human makes me want to crawl out of my skin, because I find it uncomfortable and icky to even think about.
I've also never really had a crush when I was younger. When I was asked, I always had to come up with someone just to be able to say I'm crushing on someone, to the point that I gaslighted myself so deeply that I believed myself for a while, before I caught myself again.
However, I have had feelings for my previous best friend (whom I had grown really close with, and was the first friend I had that I was sometimes cuddling with when we hung out, or who would kiss my forehead when I was sad and she would comfort me) that most people would probably title as romantic (?).
Maybe that's what it is, simply without the s*xual components (or kisses on the mouth, I find this very uncomfortable to imagine), or maybe not. I honestly don't know.
So, am I actually asexual? Or maybe not, after all?
I'm aware it is an umbrella term for many other kinds of terms, but honestly, all these possible labels confuse me so much. I would really appreciate at least one answer, as I'm starting to wonder if something is wrong with me.
https://redd.it/1p08myo
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Being asexual and dealing with constant flirting – advice?
I’m an asexual student in a very small university (~50 students that are constantly attending classes). Over the past three years, I’ve been approached by multiple guys, and it’s been really difficult to navigate. I try to show subtle signs that I’m not interested, but many confuse my kindness for romantic interest.
It’s challenging to find ways to reject them without being rude or hurting feelings, and sometimes it feels overwhelming to constantly manage unwanted attention.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How do you handle it without escalating things or feeling uncomfortable?
https://redd.it/1p07rfq
@asexualityonreddit
I’m an asexual student in a very small university (~50 students that are constantly attending classes). Over the past three years, I’ve been approached by multiple guys, and it’s been really difficult to navigate. I try to show subtle signs that I’m not interested, but many confuse my kindness for romantic interest.
It’s challenging to find ways to reject them without being rude or hurting feelings, and sometimes it feels overwhelming to constantly manage unwanted attention.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How do you handle it without escalating things or feeling uncomfortable?
https://redd.it/1p07rfq
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Is it okay to use sex toys as an asexual?
I bought my first (clitoral) vibrator yesterday and used it for the first time, mainly out of curiosity and for my libido during my ovulation period. I enjoyed it a lot; however, I’m a bit conflicted eternally, as I am asexual. It okay to like using sex toys even if you don’t like sex?
https://redd.it/1p0alk4
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I bought my first (clitoral) vibrator yesterday and used it for the first time, mainly out of curiosity and for my libido during my ovulation period. I enjoyed it a lot; however, I’m a bit conflicted eternally, as I am asexual. It okay to like using sex toys even if you don’t like sex?
https://redd.it/1p0alk4
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Wife just told me she's asexual...
And that she feels like I've been raping her for our entire marriage because she never wanted it. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I don't want to live anymore. I don't understand.
https://redd.it/1p0dczz
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And that she feels like I've been raping her for our entire marriage because she never wanted it. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I don't want to live anymore. I don't understand.
https://redd.it/1p0dczz
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too ace for the allos, too sensual for the aces, feeling stuck in between.
I (F40) feel so alienated a lot of the time. I'm ace (obviously) in the way that I don't desire any sex acts. BUT, I'm also very very sensual. I love touch. I LOVE kissing. Hell, I even enjoy some non-sex related kinkery. But it puts me at a weird in-between.
I'm polyamorous, so I do desire to meet new people (women and fems only I'm a lesbian), but one of two things happens very regularly.
1. I get written off completely for being ace.
2. I DO hit it off with someone, and it goes well, but their interest goes out the window when I get physical, but not TOO physical.
3. Sometimes I get real lucky and find a happy medium, but this one is less frequent.
I dunno.
I'm not after any advice in particular or anything. Just venting. It kinda sucks.
https://redd.it/1ozswcs
@asexualityonreddit
I (F40) feel so alienated a lot of the time. I'm ace (obviously) in the way that I don't desire any sex acts. BUT, I'm also very very sensual. I love touch. I LOVE kissing. Hell, I even enjoy some non-sex related kinkery. But it puts me at a weird in-between.
I'm polyamorous, so I do desire to meet new people (women and fems only I'm a lesbian), but one of two things happens very regularly.
1. I get written off completely for being ace.
2. I DO hit it off with someone, and it goes well, but their interest goes out the window when I get physical, but not TOO physical.
3. Sometimes I get real lucky and find a happy medium, but this one is less frequent.
I dunno.
I'm not after any advice in particular or anything. Just venting. It kinda sucks.
https://redd.it/1ozswcs
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How do you manage subtle flirting?
I’m an asexual student at a very small university (~50 students who regularly attend classes), and I’ve noticed that people sometimes misread my kindness as romantic interest.
It’s not direct asking out — it’s more subtle flirting, and it makes me uncomfortable. I’d like to set boundaries early, before it escalates, but I’m not sure how to do that without being rude or escalating things.
Has anyone else dealt with subtle flirting as an asexual? How do you manage it in a way that feels safe and respectful for you?
https://redd.it/1p0l7do
@asexualityonreddit
I’m an asexual student at a very small university (~50 students who regularly attend classes), and I’ve noticed that people sometimes misread my kindness as romantic interest.
It’s not direct asking out — it’s more subtle flirting, and it makes me uncomfortable. I’d like to set boundaries early, before it escalates, but I’m not sure how to do that without being rude or escalating things.
Has anyone else dealt with subtle flirting as an asexual? How do you manage it in a way that feels safe and respectful for you?
https://redd.it/1p0l7do
@asexualityonreddit
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