How can I tell I'm ace?
Hi, if this doesn't belong here, let me know. I've been questioning since I've been 13, I'm now 21. The main reason I've been questioning this long is because, I do get horny. It's not much, maybe once or twice a month.
I've noticed as well, that I Don't really have any attraction to others. It's rare, but it does happen. So can I be ace? Any help is appreciated
https://redd.it/1ozy721
@asexualityonreddit
Hi, if this doesn't belong here, let me know. I've been questioning since I've been 13, I'm now 21. The main reason I've been questioning this long is because, I do get horny. It's not much, maybe once or twice a month.
I've noticed as well, that I Don't really have any attraction to others. It's rare, but it does happen. So can I be ace? Any help is appreciated
https://redd.it/1ozy721
@asexualityonreddit
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i found The One, but she's allosexual
21f, lesbian, ive had multiple relationships with other women who were all allo, and i was always upfront about my sexuality as an asexual. i would identify as a stone top because that makes me the least-involved in sex as possible. i like pleasing my partner, it doesn't turn me on, but i like it. they knew that, but they didn't know i kinda really dislike sex itself lol.
to me, sex is boring, can get kinda gross and its not how i like to spend my time, but it makes their life better and they feel appreciated and cared for. i have to force myself to start, but it's not so bad once im actually doing it.
i had problems in past relationships because sometimes i couldn't get myself to do it. the bad reaction i'd get for my abstinence made me anxious and upset, so i decided to just stay celibate and not date anyone again unless they magically happened to be ace (my dating pool as a masc lesbian is already small enough😐).
against my will, i fell in love with the best woman i've ever met, and we are discussing sex stuff before we do anything but im so fuckin scared to be honest and tell her im ace. if i was completely honest, id tell her i never want to have sex, ever. but i can't say that. she expresses so much desire to be close to me sexually because im not a very touchy-feely person physically or emotionally in the first place. i dont want to deny her this when i already can't give her so much other stuff.
i need some advice other than "tell her the truth". this might be toxic and tell me off if this is the wrong place to ask this, but how do i get over my asexuality or make it easier to force myself to have sex? any tips? literally anything? i would smoke weed before sex as a teen, but sometimes i dont have the time before the mood changes in the bedroom.
thank you for reading, and i'm sorry for the question lol
EDIT: im not saying that i WONT tell her im ace. im not fully Replused by sex, so i just wanted to know if there was literally any hope of being able to make myself more comfortable with it before i end up telling her ab my sexuality. "how do i get over my asexuality" was stupid to ask, and i apologize. its not possible. i was just emotional and being unrealistic. please ignore that!
https://redd.it/1p01t5s
@asexualityonreddit
21f, lesbian, ive had multiple relationships with other women who were all allo, and i was always upfront about my sexuality as an asexual. i would identify as a stone top because that makes me the least-involved in sex as possible. i like pleasing my partner, it doesn't turn me on, but i like it. they knew that, but they didn't know i kinda really dislike sex itself lol.
to me, sex is boring, can get kinda gross and its not how i like to spend my time, but it makes their life better and they feel appreciated and cared for. i have to force myself to start, but it's not so bad once im actually doing it.
i had problems in past relationships because sometimes i couldn't get myself to do it. the bad reaction i'd get for my abstinence made me anxious and upset, so i decided to just stay celibate and not date anyone again unless they magically happened to be ace (my dating pool as a masc lesbian is already small enough😐).
against my will, i fell in love with the best woman i've ever met, and we are discussing sex stuff before we do anything but im so fuckin scared to be honest and tell her im ace. if i was completely honest, id tell her i never want to have sex, ever. but i can't say that. she expresses so much desire to be close to me sexually because im not a very touchy-feely person physically or emotionally in the first place. i dont want to deny her this when i already can't give her so much other stuff.
i need some advice other than "tell her the truth". this might be toxic and tell me off if this is the wrong place to ask this, but how do i get over my asexuality or make it easier to force myself to have sex? any tips? literally anything? i would smoke weed before sex as a teen, but sometimes i dont have the time before the mood changes in the bedroom.
thank you for reading, and i'm sorry for the question lol
EDIT: im not saying that i WONT tell her im ace. im not fully Replused by sex, so i just wanted to know if there was literally any hope of being able to make myself more comfortable with it before i end up telling her ab my sexuality. "how do i get over my asexuality" was stupid to ask, and i apologize. its not possible. i was just emotional and being unrealistic. please ignore that!
https://redd.it/1p01t5s
@asexualityonreddit
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I (f20) am in college and think I’m on the asexual spectrum. It’s been hard for me in friendship circles.
Usually don’t post like this but wanted to get some more asexuals opinions on this…
So let me just start by saying that all throughout highschool I never was interested in guys at all. I had some fake crushes on some guys I thought were cute in the face, but when I tried to think of them sexually I got repulsed. Now I’ve been in college for two years, I’ve had one boyfriend (now ex) and he’s the only person I’ve ever I guess felt “sexually” attracted to in my life. Like it didn’t feel like a total violation to think of him in that way. We never did have sex though so I’m not 100%
Anyways, the thought of hookup culture and kissing randos at bars disgusts me. Everytime I’m with my girlfriends and they tell me about experiences like this or stuff I secretly get super uncomfortable but want to be supportive cuz I’m all for girls going what they want. The idea of this is just totally disgusting to me because I generally find the idea sex and other hookup actions gross. Being in college feeling this way I feel like a prude but I swear it’s not a moral thing it’s a physical reaction.
I think the best way to describe me would be demisexual. And I hate the people who are like “aren’t we all?” NO. I don’t feel sexual attraction to hot men on the street or celebrities. I can tell when someone is physically attractive but it’s never sexual.
Also I know people might ask. No I do not like women. I know it sounds like I might but I promise you I am also repulsed by them sexually in the same way and also because I am straight lol.
https://redd.it/1p02et5
@asexualityonreddit
Usually don’t post like this but wanted to get some more asexuals opinions on this…
So let me just start by saying that all throughout highschool I never was interested in guys at all. I had some fake crushes on some guys I thought were cute in the face, but when I tried to think of them sexually I got repulsed. Now I’ve been in college for two years, I’ve had one boyfriend (now ex) and he’s the only person I’ve ever I guess felt “sexually” attracted to in my life. Like it didn’t feel like a total violation to think of him in that way. We never did have sex though so I’m not 100%
Anyways, the thought of hookup culture and kissing randos at bars disgusts me. Everytime I’m with my girlfriends and they tell me about experiences like this or stuff I secretly get super uncomfortable but want to be supportive cuz I’m all for girls going what they want. The idea of this is just totally disgusting to me because I generally find the idea sex and other hookup actions gross. Being in college feeling this way I feel like a prude but I swear it’s not a moral thing it’s a physical reaction.
I think the best way to describe me would be demisexual. And I hate the people who are like “aren’t we all?” NO. I don’t feel sexual attraction to hot men on the street or celebrities. I can tell when someone is physically attractive but it’s never sexual.
Also I know people might ask. No I do not like women. I know it sounds like I might but I promise you I am also repulsed by them sexually in the same way and also because I am straight lol.
https://redd.it/1p02et5
@asexualityonreddit
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I Don't Know What I Am
I (19F) have never been in a relationship, despite being asked out a few times, simply because I'm not interested in a relationship. Specifically, I'm absolutely not interested in a relationship that would be considered average and would include sex in any shape or form.
Alone the thought to be doing this with another human makes me want to crawl out of my skin, because I find it uncomfortable and icky to even think about.
I've also never really had a crush when I was younger. When I was asked, I always had to come up with someone just to be able to say I'm crushing on someone, to the point that I gaslighted myself so deeply that I believed myself for a while, before I caught myself again.
However, I have had feelings for my previous best friend (whom I had grown really close with, and was the first friend I had that I was sometimes cuddling with when we hung out, or who would kiss my forehead when I was sad and she would comfort me) that most people would probably title as romantic (?).
Maybe that's what it is, simply without the s*xual components (or kisses on the mouth, I find this very uncomfortable to imagine), or maybe not. I honestly don't know.
So, am I actually asexual? Or maybe not, after all?
I'm aware it is an umbrella term for many other kinds of terms, but honestly, all these possible labels confuse me so much. I would really appreciate at least one answer, as I'm starting to wonder if something is wrong with me.
https://redd.it/1p08myo
@asexualityonreddit
I (19F) have never been in a relationship, despite being asked out a few times, simply because I'm not interested in a relationship. Specifically, I'm absolutely not interested in a relationship that would be considered average and would include sex in any shape or form.
Alone the thought to be doing this with another human makes me want to crawl out of my skin, because I find it uncomfortable and icky to even think about.
I've also never really had a crush when I was younger. When I was asked, I always had to come up with someone just to be able to say I'm crushing on someone, to the point that I gaslighted myself so deeply that I believed myself for a while, before I caught myself again.
However, I have had feelings for my previous best friend (whom I had grown really close with, and was the first friend I had that I was sometimes cuddling with when we hung out, or who would kiss my forehead when I was sad and she would comfort me) that most people would probably title as romantic (?).
Maybe that's what it is, simply without the s*xual components (or kisses on the mouth, I find this very uncomfortable to imagine), or maybe not. I honestly don't know.
So, am I actually asexual? Or maybe not, after all?
I'm aware it is an umbrella term for many other kinds of terms, but honestly, all these possible labels confuse me so much. I would really appreciate at least one answer, as I'm starting to wonder if something is wrong with me.
https://redd.it/1p08myo
@asexualityonreddit
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Being asexual and dealing with constant flirting – advice?
I’m an asexual student in a very small university (~50 students that are constantly attending classes). Over the past three years, I’ve been approached by multiple guys, and it’s been really difficult to navigate. I try to show subtle signs that I’m not interested, but many confuse my kindness for romantic interest.
It’s challenging to find ways to reject them without being rude or hurting feelings, and sometimes it feels overwhelming to constantly manage unwanted attention.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How do you handle it without escalating things or feeling uncomfortable?
https://redd.it/1p07rfq
@asexualityonreddit
I’m an asexual student in a very small university (~50 students that are constantly attending classes). Over the past three years, I’ve been approached by multiple guys, and it’s been really difficult to navigate. I try to show subtle signs that I’m not interested, but many confuse my kindness for romantic interest.
It’s challenging to find ways to reject them without being rude or hurting feelings, and sometimes it feels overwhelming to constantly manage unwanted attention.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar? How do you handle it without escalating things or feeling uncomfortable?
https://redd.it/1p07rfq
@asexualityonreddit
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Is it okay to use sex toys as an asexual?
I bought my first (clitoral) vibrator yesterday and used it for the first time, mainly out of curiosity and for my libido during my ovulation period. I enjoyed it a lot; however, I’m a bit conflicted eternally, as I am asexual. It okay to like using sex toys even if you don’t like sex?
https://redd.it/1p0alk4
@asexualityonreddit
I bought my first (clitoral) vibrator yesterday and used it for the first time, mainly out of curiosity and for my libido during my ovulation period. I enjoyed it a lot; however, I’m a bit conflicted eternally, as I am asexual. It okay to like using sex toys even if you don’t like sex?
https://redd.it/1p0alk4
@asexualityonreddit
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