I yearn for love and connection, but dating feels impossible as someone who’d describe themselves as “heteroromantic ace”

I just don’t understand how I should go about dating? I have this deep desire for romance, affection, love and connection with someone, and I feel like I have a lot to give. But I’m not interested in sex; it is honestly somewhat repulsive.

I haven’t been in a relationship, but I have kissed a couple of people; it was just nothing. It felt solely mechanical, pointless really. But I love hugs, and cuddling!

I see a lot of my (hetero) friends and people in general talking about he/she is so hot, or “smash & pass” (which always makes me uncomfortable), but I never truly understood it. I very much appreciate beauty and aesthetics, but just to admire?

I think aesthetic attraction is very important for me, as I think I would need that on top of connecting with their personality to really feel romantic attraction. But it seems difficult to do, like how do you get to know people who you “fancy”, without leading them on, but also not just bluntly and weirdly announcing “I don’t like sex”?

I feel like I’m missing out on something really important and special that I desire, I love watching holiday movies or romcoms (without much sexual energy in them), but I don’t know how to make it work. :/

Anyone here experiencing something similar (whatever version of romance or sexuality you feel or don’t feel)?


https://redd.it/1ozldk5
@asexualityonreddit

Do u know asexual boys? Any of them here?

I really want asexual boyfriend in future 🙏🙏 but I read there are really little number of them. Do u know any? I also would like to chat with some :)

https://redd.it/1ozk6bh
@asexualityonreddit

I think I might be asexual and I'm trying to understand myself better

I recently started questioning whether I might be asexual, and I’d really appreciate some perspectives from people who have gone through something similar.

I’m in high school and recently started hanging out more with the girls in my class. I get along with them really well, and I genuinely enjoy their company. I can recognize that someone is beautiful, but it feels more like appreciating a nice landscape or an aesthetic vibe, not sexual attraction.

A while ago I realized I don’t feel sexual attraction toward anyone in real life. For example, when i have a “crush” it is purely about her personality and style. Thinking about anything sexual with her or with anyone actually feels slightly uncomfortable or even repulsive to me.

Something that confuses me is that my body still reacts physically to nudity or porn (like getting aroused), but it feels very disconnected from actual people. In real situations, the closer I am to someone, the more the idea of sex turns me off. I’m starting to realize that for me, emotional closeness or cuddling feels like the highest form of intimacy, something that means as much to me as sex seems to mean for others.

I’m trying to figure out if this all sounds like asexuality or maybe somewhere on the ace spectrum. I’d love to hear if anyone else has had similar experiences or thoughts.

https://redd.it/1ozonhm
@asexualityonreddit

Why do people say you're not Asexual just because you haven't met "The One" yet?

I always wonder what goes through the minds of people who think that if by chance they meet someone, magically their sexual attraction will awaken absolutely out of nowhere! People don't know what it's like to not feel attraction and they keep talking nonsense, for me it's completely disrespectful, not to mention acephobia.
But people minimize this, after all it is a large minority, but this is not so far from LGBT, I mean, how does a straight man know he is straight? If he never tried it? After all, he just must not have found the right man. Do you realize how prejudiced that can be?

https://redd.it/1ozpl7t
@asexualityonreddit

Definitely my experience : r/aaaaaaacccccccce...
https://redd.it/1ozro6w
@asexualityonreddit

I don't want a romantic partner or family as much as I want a more permanent Nerdy friend group

I'm so sick of hearing that "Romantic partner = happiness". I'm so sick of that being the defacto requirement otherwise you're a miserable lonely loser. I'm sick of hearing it

"But humans are social animals... Hur-dur"

Alright hypothetical wise guy, you wanna know what kind of relationship I FUCKING want? I want a Nerdy friend group. Specifically one that frequently hangs out, plays games talks about pop culture and maybe even as a cherry on top: we have shenanigans filled DnD sessions.


That's all I've ever wanted. Ever since I was in first grade and got way too much into roleplay and make-believe. I've always wanted that. But of course life happens and people move away, they come and go and suddenly you don't have that anymore. Fine... MAYBE THAT'S WHY MARRIAGE IS A THING?? So you can theoretically bind two people forever for the sole purpose of producing children and raising them and being together and all that bullshit. Fine, but I don't want that. I WANT MY FUCKING NERD GROUP!!! I don't care if I end up living alone. I'm good with that and like I won't say no to a romantic partner if we vibing, but that's like my 5th or 6th priority.


I want a friend group!!! One that hangs out frequently and even if sometimes life gets in the way once or twice we all there the following week.


A more permanent friend group! That's when I'm happiest. I'm not happiest in a romantic relationship, I'm happiest playing games with my friends. My happiest moment is when our local fucking Minecraft server from 12 years ago had like 6 people logged in at the same time all friends or friends of friends and we all just chilled on Skype. (Back when Skype was still a fucking thing)


I honestly wish that marrying a group of people in this kind of platonic tribe was a thing, because I would join the friend group I feel like I Vibe with the most with and never ever leave.




https://redd.it/1ozsoy4
@asexualityonreddit

It was a (not so wet) Tuesday
https://redd.it/1ozv1rh
@asexualityonreddit

I am not asexual but...
https://redd.it/1ozw0cj
@asexualityonreddit

I wish i wasnt assexual

I kind of hate it. I see other non asexuals talk about love and experiences and vulnerability which i often feel repulsed by. It makes me feel like i’m a sociopath or something. Sex is normal thing but i physically can’t sit comfortably with the thought of me doing it. I want to be able to love someone romantically too, i just don’t know if i can. Non asexuals seem to base songs, movies, and other forms of art around romantic love. It’s like, their whole purpose. It feels like a piece is missing from my emotional brain functions because i just don’t feel it. I cringe when i hear romantic lyrics. I get uncomfortable when i sense someone likes me. I came out to my parents many times and they told me i haven’t met the right person yet, that my opinion on wanting kids (absolutely 100% NO) might change in a decade. Even when i do like someone, the chances of them not wanting sex either is slim to none. AGGHHRN

https://redd.it/1ozwk1e
@asexualityonreddit