I wish I was able to have crushes

This isn't me being aro or acephobic those sexualities are very valid these are just my honest feelings. Thought I should mention as a post like this of mine was removed for that reason.

I'm 18F and I've just never had a crush on anyone. Hell, no strong platonic interests either.

I see people who have crushes or are in relationships and their lives seem so interesting for it. Like, for no reason other than attraction, this one person is so captivating for no reason. Doesn't matter if you feel heartbreak at the end, it's like people say: better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

It's to the point where I feel so left out because of it. By all accounts I'm probably aromantic asexual, and I hate that. I only started caring about it in the past couple of years. Before this the idea of people being attracted to me disgusted me. Now it's like I love the idea of being in a relationship and kissing etc etc in theory but there's nobody I have the urge to put it on in real life? I think that's how most people feel.

If there was a way I could force myself to want someone in that way I would. I've found myself wishing I actually said yes to going out with this one guy that asked me out in secondary school, even though I didn't see him that way. I even tried making myself think of him that way, which didn't really work.

Anyway, he started dating my friend, and turns out he was an absolute psycho. I know it's a horrible thing to think but even then I feel left out and wish I was her almost.

The closest thing I've had to a crush is this fixation on a fictional character, but it's obviously not the same thing.

Maybe I just want something interesting in life, someone to rely on. I'm also at the point where I have no direction of what to do next (i just finished college) so maybe that's why.

People say I should accept myself for who I am but honestly I'm not happy. Help me please? Is this normal?

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I got it

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Yesterday, an Asexual man won the British version of reality show Big Brother.
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TIL Club Penguin had a scarf with the ace colors (minus gray but like c'mon)

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Me too, Batman. Me too.
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Question for non asexual people with asexual partners

This is very simple and straight to the point. If your partner is asexual, has no interest in sex but doesn’t mind having sex with you because they know you want it. Why would you still have sex with them even if they say they don’t mind? Especially knowing that it’ll be 100% one sided? How could you enjoy sex with someone for basically your own sake?

I know asexuals can enjoy sex before anyone says anything. But Im talking about the asexuals who really could go the rest of their life without sex but only end up doing it because their partner seems to need it, so they just try to satisfy THEM which to me I think makes the sex not 50/50 at all.

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Exchanges on Hinge
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Stop sexualising everything
https://v.redd.it/d3g557cqvg1g1

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Did you also thought you were bi because you felt the same about everyone?

I thought I was bisexual because I felt the same for everyone. Then I realized that what I feel is nothing for everyone. So now I just label myself as queer cause anyone could probably not but almost get it if you know what I mean. Have you experienced this ?

Also what's your sexuality?

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I made this weird meme and i hope y’all like it!
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Do you ever talk/think about romance drive?

So I see people talk about sex drive all the time but I dont see people talk about romance drive. And it's been a problem in all of my relationships way more than my tiny sex drive has been.

So the second I learned about asexual I knew that was me. But then I learned about aromantic shortly there after and I still don't know if tbats me. I say I'm aromantic cause I dont want to explain it to people. But I do want to a romantic partner. I want to have someone to go on dates and cuddle with. Someone I can show my whole self too. Someone to take to funerals (have you ever gone to a funeral by yourself? One of the worst experiences of my life.)

But

I only want to go on dates like once every other month. And things like gift giving, kissing, holding hands, all of those couple things I only like to do on the rare occasion. I do like cuddling a lot but I need my own bedroom and bathroom. I hate sharing a bathroom or a bed. And I need plenty of time to myself. Like at least two hours a day and at least 2 days a week. I just don't think about romance or wanting to be romantic often.

And yeah that would make me a terrible girlfriend. But all of the advice I ever got is that relationships are work and I'm just being lazy or selfish. But I feel smothered by affection. I feel about it the same way I do sex. I want it a very small amount and I'm willing to put in the work to go above what I want but there is a limit.

Does this make sense to anyone else or am I just lazy/selfish/crazy?

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They exist 🖤 happy story

I found out I’m gray and this week my gf told me she would be happy to spend her life with me even if it means we won’t have sex anymore together. It lifted something off my chest I didn’t knew lied there 🖤

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To each their own
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I posted on a relationship advice Reddit and now I need a hug

I posted in a relationship advice Reddit basically about how my partner is upset with our sex life. I won’t post many details but basically my boyfriend is regularly upset we don’t have sex as often as he wants to (which is every day) but we do around 1-3 (more like 3) times a week and as someone on the asexual scale that’s a lot.

Anyways some people were kind but a lot of people were also saying stuff like “you aren’t willing to do the bare minimum” or “you’re always going to have this problem” and just the idea that I should compromise because that’s what you do in relationships. Some people compared having sex when you don’t want to to listening to your partner when they’ve had a bad day.

Idk man. I feel like i really needs hug and feel so alone….

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I have recently realized I might be Ace, could I be?

It all funnily enough started with a couple of friends celebrating Ace Week recently, and when I heard them talking about it, I thought “this kinda… sounds like me…”

So since then I’ve been googling and thinking it over, and I have realized I really might be Ace? I (Male) have always found a lot of women pretty, but I have realized it’s the same feeling of appreciation for beauty or cuteness as I get from looking at a beautiful old Ferrari, or a cute doggo or cat. I think most of my “crushes” have just been people I think look pretty; but that’s it.

I have only had 1 person that I felt very different about; I wanted to get close with her. I liked how she looked, but it wasn’t till I got to knew her I really got a “crush”. But looking back, I never even thought about or wanted to do anything remotely sexual with her, even in imagination. I have realized what I was actually dreaming about was emotional and personal closeness, sharing life together. I love hugs and physical affection like cuddles, but sexual intimacy never even crossed my mind.

Looking back it does seem like I might be Ace, but it’s also difficult to really understand it? 😅 I know it’s impossible to be 100% “certain”, but just wanted to get some insights here from y’all, could I be or am I Ace?

I appreciate any advice, suggestions or discussions! 😄

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Can you be Ace and still enjoy sex? To a point..

Can you be Asexual and still sort of enjoy sex?

I’d much rather give it but sometimes i feel like, ‘aroused’ i guess? but its not really like a need to act on. most of the time i never act on it. in my last relationship sex was a huge part because my partner was hypersexual, i would help them a lot but never really do anything myself. if i did it was to calm down or relive stress, but he never really made me feel comfortable when i did. part of me like does like it?? i think? like somewhat.. like in my head im like yeah okay but when i act on it i feel worse? like i dont feel good really.

i would much rather give it to my partner and never have anything done to me but i still like ’want’ it sometimes, but alone. I’ve never had comfortable 50/50 sex. its always been uncomfortable or me having to get off by myself. so maybe because of that i just don't want someone else to touch me but even when i do it alone i still don't feel good. like sometimes part of me does but its rare. and i almost always feel worse after unless i just don’t think about it.

Also can you be ace and have sex dreams- like this is the most confusing part to me sometimes ill have sex dreams but i feel anxious and gross when i wake up.. I'm just so confused.

Maybe i just have a really low sex drive and don't really like having sex- i don't know— I just don't want to say I'm ace if I'm not in the like range? I think im against myself on this because I feel like if i am ace then i wont find a partner because all of my last partners would have broken up with me if i told them i was ace whether or not i would still help them.

i don't think i like sex. i like giving it to others but not all the time. if my future partner wasn’t hypersexual but enjoyed sex i would want to give it to them but i dont think i want to act on it myself. Actually maybe i would prefer not having sex at all—

but like sometimes i feel like aroused so i dont know what it means.. i dont like acting on it though. But like sometimes i do act on it but like 99% of me feels like shit after but sometimes i feel a bit more relaxed but i have to forget about it to feel mentally better.

I’m so confused and i feel like im just annoying people by asking this :,) im just confused and trying to figure this out. I want to know myself better ,:|

sorry i talk a lot.. im just trying to figure this out. basically.. can someone be asexual and still want to give their partner sex? can you be ace and still feel aroused sometimes even if you dont like acting on it? im just confused on how i feel. i dont know if theres like a spectrum to this and theres something else I identify with more but i dont know- i made another post but i had an easier to read question this time ,:) sorry if this is against the rules or weird im having a crisis lol not really im just super confused and want to get this right- if anyone can like educate me.. like help me figure this out.. are there other things i align with better.. i think im overthinking this.

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