Asexuality ≠ not wanting children
If you don't want children, good for you! I'm genuinely happy you found the answer to such a frequently asked question in our society.
I, however, want to have children. That's a non-negotiable. I'm just tired of getting the comment(s) of "but how? you're ace", it hits a trigger in my heart from the same comments I used to get when I first came out as gay and wanted children. We've come to agree that those comments "but how are you gonna have children? you're gay!" are homophobic, and yet those same comments are targetted at the ace community, sometimes even within the community! I'm just tired of it, especially amongst other aces.
Have we not come far enough to remember that having children doesn't have to include heteronormative penetration? Come on...
I'll literally cry if any other aces knock down my dream of having kids, lmao. Fuck off. Genuinely, go find a hobby instead of knocking down people's hopes.
I know what it'll take medically for me to have kids, it's going to be an uphill battle no matter how I adopt, create, or foster kids. That's just the reality of my life as a disabled single woman. Still, I've clearly thought this through enough, so leave me alone.
Thanks for letting me vent, hopefully I can find others who can relate to the anger boat I'm in lol. I'll get out of it eventually, I'm just frustrated right now!
https://redd.it/1orzg10
@asexualityonreddit
If you don't want children, good for you! I'm genuinely happy you found the answer to such a frequently asked question in our society.
I, however, want to have children. That's a non-negotiable. I'm just tired of getting the comment(s) of "but how? you're ace", it hits a trigger in my heart from the same comments I used to get when I first came out as gay and wanted children. We've come to agree that those comments "but how are you gonna have children? you're gay!" are homophobic, and yet those same comments are targetted at the ace community, sometimes even within the community! I'm just tired of it, especially amongst other aces.
Have we not come far enough to remember that having children doesn't have to include heteronormative penetration? Come on...
I'll literally cry if any other aces knock down my dream of having kids, lmao. Fuck off. Genuinely, go find a hobby instead of knocking down people's hopes.
I know what it'll take medically for me to have kids, it's going to be an uphill battle no matter how I adopt, create, or foster kids. That's just the reality of my life as a disabled single woman. Still, I've clearly thought this through enough, so leave me alone.
Thanks for letting me vent, hopefully I can find others who can relate to the anger boat I'm in lol. I'll get out of it eventually, I'm just frustrated right now!
https://redd.it/1orzg10
@asexualityonreddit
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Having hard time accepting it...
I don't really like sex. I'm 27 M...can get erection and all, just don't feel attracted to anyone sexually and it's been like this for my whole life... I've tried many times but I just feel nothing. I like the idea of sex but the actual thing is just...well idk how to put it but I think you guys will get me. Even though I try to show my partner that I'm enjoying it with her, I am just pretending...I don't feel much.
I used to think maybe I was gay but nothing there as well.
I love my partner, I really do and want to take things further but I'm having hard time pretending to like it when I don't and it's been melting my brain.
https://redd.it/1os0n05
@asexualityonreddit
I don't really like sex. I'm 27 M...can get erection and all, just don't feel attracted to anyone sexually and it's been like this for my whole life... I've tried many times but I just feel nothing. I like the idea of sex but the actual thing is just...well idk how to put it but I think you guys will get me. Even though I try to show my partner that I'm enjoying it with her, I am just pretending...I don't feel much.
I used to think maybe I was gay but nothing there as well.
I love my partner, I really do and want to take things further but I'm having hard time pretending to like it when I don't and it's been melting my brain.
https://redd.it/1os0n05
@asexualityonreddit
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Is this acephobia?
My brothers believe that asexuality is a stupid concept and think it’s just something people use to make themselves feel special for being different. They say it’s idiotic to “put labels” on feelings like demisexuality, graysexuality, aromanticism, and others whenever I bring up the topic. Because of that, I’m afraid to tell them that I identify as asexual.
Would their behavior be considered acephobia?
https://redd.it/1os367v
@asexualityonreddit
My brothers believe that asexuality is a stupid concept and think it’s just something people use to make themselves feel special for being different. They say it’s idiotic to “put labels” on feelings like demisexuality, graysexuality, aromanticism, and others whenever I bring up the topic. Because of that, I’m afraid to tell them that I identify as asexual.
Would their behavior be considered acephobia?
https://redd.it/1os367v
@asexualityonreddit
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My therapist disagrees that I am asexual, has anyone experienced this?
I've been going to this therapist for awhile, previously he would try to encourage me to date and try to have sex because he considers it an important part of normal human socialization.
A few months ago I mentioned that I'm starting to view myself as asexual/aromantic and while he was not against it at first in my last session he opened by asking if I still feel asexual/aromantic or if he thinks I'm using that label as a way to avoid the pain of further romantic failure.
He started telling me that what I'm actually feeling isn't a lack of desire for sex or romance, but learned helplessness caused by lifelong social rejection. He told me I should continue trying to date and working towards the goal of a relationship, even if I don't feel like I want one because I'd change my mind once I experienced it.
I really don't know how to respond to this, has anyone else had experience with these kinds of questions from their therapists?
https://redd.it/1os0o63
@asexualityonreddit
I've been going to this therapist for awhile, previously he would try to encourage me to date and try to have sex because he considers it an important part of normal human socialization.
A few months ago I mentioned that I'm starting to view myself as asexual/aromantic and while he was not against it at first in my last session he opened by asking if I still feel asexual/aromantic or if he thinks I'm using that label as a way to avoid the pain of further romantic failure.
He started telling me that what I'm actually feeling isn't a lack of desire for sex or romance, but learned helplessness caused by lifelong social rejection. He told me I should continue trying to date and working towards the goal of a relationship, even if I don't feel like I want one because I'd change my mind once I experienced it.
I really don't know how to respond to this, has anyone else had experience with these kinds of questions from their therapists?
https://redd.it/1os0o63
@asexualityonreddit
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