My asexuality is ruining my love life

Yesterday for the second time this year, the girl I was dating broke things off citing a lack of physical touch/intimacy (in mild forms even) saying it was a turn off. And I completely expected it.

This happened before mid this year. I am really fed up. I have no interest in physical touch/intimacy at all, and it’s taking a serious toll on my relationships. HELP.

https://redd.it/1op0855
@asexualityonreddit

I wish I wasn’t asexual.

If my words are jumbled up I’m sorry. I don’t know how to make this neat as possible without looking like a mess.

I’m sorry this is long.

I’m 18F and been together with my bf for a year and a half and recently me and him broke and it was because of my asexuality. He said that he can’t live without “it” if you know what I mean and I understood but it sucked. I had told from the start that I was asexual and he was ok with it at first but at the end he realised he wasn’t.

But tbh I knew that one day he would realise he couldn’t live without it and one day we would end. I did hope I would be wrong and we could be together forever but I was delusional. We had planned our future because we had similar plans for the future and everything.

3 months before we broke up I started realizing it more that it won’t work out I just had this feeling idk how to explain it I just knew it would happen just not sure when. I had been preparing myself mentally for when it would happen. And when the day came it was like any other just few hours before it happened we were laughing and playing Minecraft

Not realizing what was about to come and then it happened.

Then when we were just talking told me he can’t live without it. we talked about it a bit and then decided to end it. I wasnt crying It just was this deep feeling I couldn’t grasp I just felt nothing even the next day I felt nothing just emptiness tho I did start to realise how much I have of him, his gifts, the pictures the memories. He was my first actual bf and he showed me how it’s to be loved.

It feels strange not being able to cry about it I can only feel the emptiness the realization I’m not with him anymore. And that now I’m just by myself.

Idk how I’ll continue with life it feels strange I feel like I won’t ever find anyone who’s asexual and would actually love me, all the parts of me even the strange and weirds ones as well.

I always have felt like I’m difficult to love and that I have a strange personality and that I have so much history that not many could handle.

I just want to be loved for me and not for my body.


https://redd.it/1op34t3
@asexualityonreddit

Meme is meme
https://redd.it/1op6gx4
@asexualityonreddit

Woo! i think

Just told my mom about me being aroace. I just showed her the google definition of aroace and said theres a whole group of people like me. She said oooh understood. She already knew i wasnt interested in dating and getting married and stuff like typical people. Im also sexually repulsed. So now she has a term for it. She also acknowledged that we are part of the lgbtq community. That was the scariest part for me due to all the stigma surrounding the community and us being asians lol. Also since intimacy stuff is kinda taboo in asian communities/my household, i feel like i dodged a bullet by being aroace. Like i can stay the innocent daughter to my parents instead of the sexually deviant child exploring intimacy and being awkward about all that.

Im also sapphic tho, but i did not tell her that lol. I feel like coming out as aroace is so much easier than admitting i fancy girls as well. I am Terrified to admit that and i dont want to at all. Since i wont be acting on my sapphic urges in the near future i wont bother coming out as sapphic to her. Aroace will be my identity as far as she is concerned

https://redd.it/1op6quq
@asexualityonreddit