I don't know if I'm fully ace or just way too anxious?
The title explains it pretty well, but let me give y'all some backstory.
I'm 21F and have been calling myself asexual since probably freshman year of HS, but recently Ive been wondering if it's just my insecurities and anxiety that's causing me to not want anything sex. I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety for years now and the insecurities have always been around (weight and teeth/oral hygiene are the biggest due to a bad depressive episode)
Anyway! I was hanging out and drinking with a group of friends this weekend and one of them (21M) was very touchy, which is fine, I'm used to my friends being touchy/cuddly. But for some reason it felt different? Like he and I ended up sleeping in the same bed bc we were both VERY drunk and everytime he bumped me or something it was just different. I (again very drunk) joked that everyone can have a peck on the lips and he said no bc he knows he'd want to go further but respected my boundaries but in my head I almost wanted to. I've had people tell me they find me attractive but I've never acted on it and nor have they. I've been in 2 relationships (a guy then a girl) and neither time did we do anything further than cuddle and peck on the lips.
I don't really know what I'm saying and kind of just needed to type this out and have someone maybe read it. Any help would be great, if not no worries, just needed to get this out of my head more than anything else :)
Side note: please don't tell me to "try" with him or whatever, he has a long-term bf who was there with us and is aware that we shared a bed, "cuddled" and almost joke kissed. He's fine with it and Ive kissed him before with permission from the guy in the story.
https://redd.it/1nvrl66
@asexualityonreddit
The title explains it pretty well, but let me give y'all some backstory.
I'm 21F and have been calling myself asexual since probably freshman year of HS, but recently Ive been wondering if it's just my insecurities and anxiety that's causing me to not want anything sex. I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety for years now and the insecurities have always been around (weight and teeth/oral hygiene are the biggest due to a bad depressive episode)
Anyway! I was hanging out and drinking with a group of friends this weekend and one of them (21M) was very touchy, which is fine, I'm used to my friends being touchy/cuddly. But for some reason it felt different? Like he and I ended up sleeping in the same bed bc we were both VERY drunk and everytime he bumped me or something it was just different. I (again very drunk) joked that everyone can have a peck on the lips and he said no bc he knows he'd want to go further but respected my boundaries but in my head I almost wanted to. I've had people tell me they find me attractive but I've never acted on it and nor have they. I've been in 2 relationships (a guy then a girl) and neither time did we do anything further than cuddle and peck on the lips.
I don't really know what I'm saying and kind of just needed to type this out and have someone maybe read it. Any help would be great, if not no worries, just needed to get this out of my head more than anything else :)
Side note: please don't tell me to "try" with him or whatever, he has a long-term bf who was there with us and is aware that we shared a bed, "cuddled" and almost joke kissed. He's fine with it and Ive kissed him before with permission from the guy in the story.
https://redd.it/1nvrl66
@asexualityonreddit
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how y'alll feel about sex scenes in movies/shows
honestly i'm not too fond. it always feels awkward and i feel like i'm interrupting something
https://redd.it/1nvpy04
@asexualityonreddit
honestly i'm not too fond. it always feels awkward and i feel like i'm interrupting something
https://redd.it/1nvpy04
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cravings
so weird how i crave intimacy and physical touch but i despise it at the same time. it’s like i hate it and love it at the same time. i’m so confused
https://redd.it/1nvw1vc
@asexualityonreddit
so weird how i crave intimacy and physical touch but i despise it at the same time. it’s like i hate it and love it at the same time. i’m so confused
https://redd.it/1nvw1vc
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Internal struggles
I really wanna impregnate my fiancée, and she is ready to have a child, as am I. I’m over 30 and I don’t wanna be an older father than I already will. I also wanna have my own child before we start fostering, my question is how do I convince myself to have sex? when I don’t really feel like it, and I feel like a failure which just makes it worse
https://redd.it/1nw8iv9
@asexualityonreddit
I really wanna impregnate my fiancée, and she is ready to have a child, as am I. I’m over 30 and I don’t wanna be an older father than I already will. I also wanna have my own child before we start fostering, my question is how do I convince myself to have sex? when I don’t really feel like it, and I feel like a failure which just makes it worse
https://redd.it/1nw8iv9
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I have to keep track of so many things. I’m really thankful sex isn’t one of them.
https://redd.it/1nw8hr2
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https://redd.it/1nw8hr2
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One Non-Sexual Thing You Thought Was Sexual
I feel like having that moment when you realize something was a sexual inuendo when you thought it was about something completely different and wholesome (ex: cake by the ocean) is an asexual cannon event. You can't escape it, but I actually had the opposite once.
I had heard references to "big spoon" and "little spoon", and I assumed it was like "dom" and "sub", but I didn't exactly care to search that shit. One day, when somebody in a Youtube video mentioned it, they showed a picture of two people lying in bed facing the same direction while the one in the back cuddles the one in front like a stuffed animal.
So, the point: What's one thing you assumed was sexual only to find it was completely different/wholesome?
https://redd.it/1nwb12q
@asexualityonreddit
I feel like having that moment when you realize something was a sexual inuendo when you thought it was about something completely different and wholesome (ex: cake by the ocean) is an asexual cannon event. You can't escape it, but I actually had the opposite once.
I had heard references to "big spoon" and "little spoon", and I assumed it was like "dom" and "sub", but I didn't exactly care to search that shit. One day, when somebody in a Youtube video mentioned it, they showed a picture of two people lying in bed facing the same direction while the one in the back cuddles the one in front like a stuffed animal.
So, the point: What's one thing you assumed was sexual only to find it was completely different/wholesome?
https://redd.it/1nwb12q
@asexualityonreddit
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How do you find books w/o explicit content?
I love reading (mostly fantasy, and I do love a wholesome slow-burn romance), but the sex scenes make me super uncomfortable. I’ve tried skipping over it but it just feels like it’s in 80%+ of the books I’m excited to read (plot sounds good).
What’s something y’all do/use if you want to avoid books without that stuff altogether? Thank you!
https://redd.it/1nwmnm2
@asexualityonreddit
I love reading (mostly fantasy, and I do love a wholesome slow-burn romance), but the sex scenes make me super uncomfortable. I’ve tried skipping over it but it just feels like it’s in 80%+ of the books I’m excited to read (plot sounds good).
What’s something y’all do/use if you want to avoid books without that stuff altogether? Thank you!
https://redd.it/1nwmnm2
@asexualityonreddit
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