Relationship Advice
Hello! Currently, I'm in a new relationship with a loving girlfriend (it's been nearly 2 months), the only problem is that I'm asexual (or at least somewhere on the spectrum. Maybe leaning towards aegosexual?) and I'm pretty sure she's hypersexual. She is polyamorous and has recently come to me about seeing another partner purely for sex. I agreed because I want her to feel better, and I have no problems with her being polyamorous, but now I think I just feel worse and worse about myself. I feel inadequate and like something is wrong with me, do all asexuals feel this way when in a relationship with an allosexual? I just kind of feel like I'm not satisfying her and she'd be better of with someone else. Or that we should just change our relationship into something different.... (thinking QPR??)
Also, we have different relationship needs, I think. I'm very much so a person who is very... clingy?? But that sounds kinda iffy, it's mainly just, I'm pretty insecure and I'd like at least a text message a day or something, but she's very much so doesn't text at all, and we hardly ever see each other and I feel like she doesn't miss me at all while I'm going insane because I haven't seen her in like a week and we haven't hardly talked.
I'm really stressed out about all this, and I'm so scared because she's awesome, and I'd like to keep being in a relationship with her, but I genuinely don't think I can keep going like this with the way it is now...
If anyone could offer any advice or anything at all, I'm open to anything.
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Hello! Currently, I'm in a new relationship with a loving girlfriend (it's been nearly 2 months), the only problem is that I'm asexual (or at least somewhere on the spectrum. Maybe leaning towards aegosexual?) and I'm pretty sure she's hypersexual. She is polyamorous and has recently come to me about seeing another partner purely for sex. I agreed because I want her to feel better, and I have no problems with her being polyamorous, but now I think I just feel worse and worse about myself. I feel inadequate and like something is wrong with me, do all asexuals feel this way when in a relationship with an allosexual? I just kind of feel like I'm not satisfying her and she'd be better of with someone else. Or that we should just change our relationship into something different.... (thinking QPR??)
Also, we have different relationship needs, I think. I'm very much so a person who is very... clingy?? But that sounds kinda iffy, it's mainly just, I'm pretty insecure and I'd like at least a text message a day or something, but she's very much so doesn't text at all, and we hardly ever see each other and I feel like she doesn't miss me at all while I'm going insane because I haven't seen her in like a week and we haven't hardly talked.
I'm really stressed out about all this, and I'm so scared because she's awesome, and I'd like to keep being in a relationship with her, but I genuinely don't think I can keep going like this with the way it is now...
If anyone could offer any advice or anything at all, I'm open to anything.
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I really get the ick far too easily in social situations
Like I am EXHAUSTING to be around (for myself bc I don't say anything out loud lol)
My friends know better than to make sex jokes about me, but my family doesn't, and since I'm an adult now they just assume I'm sexually active and think I'm just prudish about sharing it (But I'm just an old ass virgin who will remain this way until I'm an older ass virgin and so on, that's my life plan)
And I don't know how adverse I have to look or how loud I need to sigh before they STOP making those jokes
I'm not bringing any ladies around and I am not planning on doing so (even if I date someone romantically bc I don't want them to know anything about me) and it's truly rubbing me the wrong way
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Like I am EXHAUSTING to be around (for myself bc I don't say anything out loud lol)
My friends know better than to make sex jokes about me, but my family doesn't, and since I'm an adult now they just assume I'm sexually active and think I'm just prudish about sharing it (But I'm just an old ass virgin who will remain this way until I'm an older ass virgin and so on, that's my life plan)
And I don't know how adverse I have to look or how loud I need to sigh before they STOP making those jokes
I'm not bringing any ladies around and I am not planning on doing so (even if I date someone romantically bc I don't want them to know anything about me) and it's truly rubbing me the wrong way
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19M feeling trapped and touch-starved in a relationship with my 19F asexual girlfriend. I don't feel loved.
Lately, I've been aching to be touched. My mind is constantly filled with fantasies about her, and then I feel guilty, like I'm violating her in my thoughts. I know she'd never think of me the same way because she's asexual. (We both identify as asexual, though for me it might be more of a choice to suppress my hypersexuality, but that's another story).
We've been together for a year and two months, but it often feels like she's still treating me like a friend, even though we have romantic feelings for each other. I want us to be romantic, but I never have the courage to bring it up.
We're both busy with university, but when we hang out, there's barely any physical contact. We barely hold hands or look each other in the eye, and we've never kissed—not even on the forehead, cheek, or hand. She mentioned once that she doesn't like kissing on the lips (even seeing it in movies), and she's never buried her face in my chest or hugged me intimately.
I'm craving just a little physical affection. And it came to a point where I don't feel loved.
The biggest thing holding me back from talking to her is that her mom died two months ago. She's still grieving, and I don't want to add to her burden. But at the same time, I feel completely caged by my own needs and this silence. I don't know what to do.
Is there a way I can address this situation in a way that benefits us both, without adding to the heaviness she's already feeling?
https://redd.it/1ntv6ei
@asexualityonreddit
Lately, I've been aching to be touched. My mind is constantly filled with fantasies about her, and then I feel guilty, like I'm violating her in my thoughts. I know she'd never think of me the same way because she's asexual. (We both identify as asexual, though for me it might be more of a choice to suppress my hypersexuality, but that's another story).
We've been together for a year and two months, but it often feels like she's still treating me like a friend, even though we have romantic feelings for each other. I want us to be romantic, but I never have the courage to bring it up.
We're both busy with university, but when we hang out, there's barely any physical contact. We barely hold hands or look each other in the eye, and we've never kissed—not even on the forehead, cheek, or hand. She mentioned once that she doesn't like kissing on the lips (even seeing it in movies), and she's never buried her face in my chest or hugged me intimately.
I'm craving just a little physical affection. And it came to a point where I don't feel loved.
The biggest thing holding me back from talking to her is that her mom died two months ago. She's still grieving, and I don't want to add to her burden. But at the same time, I feel completely caged by my own needs and this silence. I don't know what to do.
Is there a way I can address this situation in a way that benefits us both, without adding to the heaviness she's already feeling?
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Why is it so sad to be asexual ?
A few years ago I had a talk with my mother about being asexual. She told she is too and if its hard for me I don't even what to imagine what it was like for her. I won't go into details but yeah that was an emotional conversation.
Struggling right now because I decided to start dating someone with a strong libido and we're having the talk and jfc I hate it.
Why couldn't I have been normal ? Just be able to date someone without always questionning myself on if I am just being a fckg prude or not feeling terrible because I'm not attracted to my partner. I am just happy I didn't grow up as an asexual woman at a time when that term didn't exist. I'm not as strong as my mother.
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@asexualityonreddit
A few years ago I had a talk with my mother about being asexual. She told she is too and if its hard for me I don't even what to imagine what it was like for her. I won't go into details but yeah that was an emotional conversation.
Struggling right now because I decided to start dating someone with a strong libido and we're having the talk and jfc I hate it.
Why couldn't I have been normal ? Just be able to date someone without always questionning myself on if I am just being a fckg prude or not feeling terrible because I'm not attracted to my partner. I am just happy I didn't grow up as an asexual woman at a time when that term didn't exist. I'm not as strong as my mother.
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YO FICTOSEXUALS/FICTOROMANTICS. WHAT ARE Y’ALLS ‘’ HEAR ME OUTS’’ ?
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What generation are you?
I'm a 80s Millennial.
Growing up I wish there was a talk or just a safe space on the internet where to talk with other asexuals. We barely had the internet lol.
Society-wise I think little has changed in the perception of differences.
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@asexualityonreddit
I'm a 80s Millennial.
Growing up I wish there was a talk or just a safe space on the internet where to talk with other asexuals. We barely had the internet lol.
Society-wise I think little has changed in the perception of differences.
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YO HOLY CRAP GUYS DID YOU KNOW PERFUME IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU SEXUALLY AROUSED??????
Coworkers at work were talking about perfume. Dude coworker pulled out his cologne and told us he won't spray it because drives his wife crazy.
I didn't understand so I asked what it smells like. He gave it to me annnnnnd it smells like the Sears perfume department. I told him it smells like nothing. I asked what I was missing.
He told me it has a bunch of pheromones.
Pheromones, when you smell it increase your sexual attraction and makes you want to do the sex.
Suddenly, everything makes sense. I thought perfume was just fancy deodorant for special occasions. That is why there are sexually attractive people in the commericals. And they act like like they are going to have foreplay on TV in exotic locations.
People buy it to increase their sexual attraction. They show sexy people in the commercial because more sexy actors means this perfume is going to make you more sexy. And people like sex.
Oh my god that is probably why Victoria Secret sells perfume. It isn't special occasion deodorant, it is suppose to make you sexy while you are buying sexy clothes.
God I feel slow as shit.
https://redd.it/1nu5qhq
@asexualityonreddit
Coworkers at work were talking about perfume. Dude coworker pulled out his cologne and told us he won't spray it because drives his wife crazy.
I didn't understand so I asked what it smells like. He gave it to me annnnnnd it smells like the Sears perfume department. I told him it smells like nothing. I asked what I was missing.
He told me it has a bunch of pheromones.
Pheromones, when you smell it increase your sexual attraction and makes you want to do the sex.
Suddenly, everything makes sense. I thought perfume was just fancy deodorant for special occasions. That is why there are sexually attractive people in the commericals. And they act like like they are going to have foreplay on TV in exotic locations.
People buy it to increase their sexual attraction. They show sexy people in the commercial because more sexy actors means this perfume is going to make you more sexy. And people like sex.
Oh my god that is probably why Victoria Secret sells perfume. It isn't special occasion deodorant, it is suppose to make you sexy while you are buying sexy clothes.
God I feel slow as shit.
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Anyone else like this or is it just me?
I am totally fine with anything sexual - until it involves me. I’ll watch corn, think about it, imagine it, get turned on by it, joke and laugh and talk about it, but having to change in the same room as other people? Hell no! Someone thinks I’m attractive? 🤮
I avoid gynecologists and I don’t masturbate. No trauma or weird parents here either, I’m just…the one who feels like a weirdo cause everyone says that I make no sense.
So I thought I’d find out if I indeed make no sense, cause I know there are aces that masturbate, and then others that don’t even want to see sex scenes in films. Everyone’s a little different. But I haven’t heard anyone say anything like this, even the fictosexuals (a community that I am definitely a part of; no matter how hot real people are, they’re nowhere near as aesthetic as in films lol)
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@asexualityonreddit
I am totally fine with anything sexual - until it involves me. I’ll watch corn, think about it, imagine it, get turned on by it, joke and laugh and talk about it, but having to change in the same room as other people? Hell no! Someone thinks I’m attractive? 🤮
I avoid gynecologists and I don’t masturbate. No trauma or weird parents here either, I’m just…the one who feels like a weirdo cause everyone says that I make no sense.
So I thought I’d find out if I indeed make no sense, cause I know there are aces that masturbate, and then others that don’t even want to see sex scenes in films. Everyone’s a little different. But I haven’t heard anyone say anything like this, even the fictosexuals (a community that I am definitely a part of; no matter how hot real people are, they’re nowhere near as aesthetic as in films lol)
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‼️VENT-ISH MEME‼️Me realizing that female characters have big boobs and stuff so that they're more sexually appealing to the male audience and that works and is not "just a joke"/failed marketing:
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Gf is allo im ace what to do
Sooo we have been dating for about 3 months now and before getting together we discussed my asexuality. At first we had a pretty bad argument abt it but then she told me that she is fine with it as long as we can openly talk about our feelings and needs. Also I made it clear that it was okay if she wanted to end things with me because of it (even tho it would hurt ofc) but she was so sure that we could make this work.
Now that it has been a while she keeps bringin it up and telling me how much this hurts her feelings and how hard it is for her. I do get it but it does feel like she is guilt tripping me with loong videos of her crying and paragraphs on how she doesn't feel loved or wanted. Still everytime I bring up the fact that no matter how much we love eachother this is oblivious doing damage to both of us and we should really discuss is this going to work in the long term she insist that we are going to be okay.
I feel like she doesnt really even get what it means to be asexual and often tells me that she feels like its something personal i have against her.
What should i do? Try to convince that its not personal and educate her? Push my boundaries and try new things w her? Or are we doomed to end
https://redd.it/1nuasud
@asexualityonreddit
Sooo we have been dating for about 3 months now and before getting together we discussed my asexuality. At first we had a pretty bad argument abt it but then she told me that she is fine with it as long as we can openly talk about our feelings and needs. Also I made it clear that it was okay if she wanted to end things with me because of it (even tho it would hurt ofc) but she was so sure that we could make this work.
Now that it has been a while she keeps bringin it up and telling me how much this hurts her feelings and how hard it is for her. I do get it but it does feel like she is guilt tripping me with loong videos of her crying and paragraphs on how she doesn't feel loved or wanted. Still everytime I bring up the fact that no matter how much we love eachother this is oblivious doing damage to both of us and we should really discuss is this going to work in the long term she insist that we are going to be okay.
I feel like she doesnt really even get what it means to be asexual and often tells me that she feels like its something personal i have against her.
What should i do? Try to convince that its not personal and educate her? Push my boundaries and try new things w her? Or are we doomed to end
https://redd.it/1nuasud
@asexualityonreddit
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